Gentlemen, what defines a man as a 'pussy' in your opinion?

CiscoStudent wrote: »

A pussy is someone who goes with the general consensus on everything, with no opinions of their own, but who will gladly talk behind peoples backs. 2 Faced backstabbing cravens!

Also alot of the 'Tough guys' you meet who seem to want everyone to think they are macho, they are usually the biggest pussys of all. The guys who have their own minds, and don't jump on every bandwagon that happens to pass, they are the real men.

The King of Moo wrote: »

A lot of the things people are mentioning here seem to be due to shyness. I'd be hesitant to use the term "pussy" against a shy person (though I don't think I'd use it against anyone: nasty word pre-loaded with so many outdated assumptions) as there could be so many mitigating factors causing their shyness.
Of course shyness can be overcome, but for some people there are a lot of obstacles to that.

jimthemental wrote: »

People who won't stand by what they have said.

People who will not stand in if a friend is getting a beating.

People who drive Nissan Micras.

I think that's it really.

It's funny, people take the "big car = real man" idea is not universal at all. Go to any city in Italy, home of petrolheads and stereotypes of outward machismo covering fragile egos, and you won't see a saloon car anywhere, as everyone knows it makes no sense to drive a big car in a city where most people drive.

I've never understood the prejudice against men driving a small car. If you live in a city it doesn't really make a difference what car you drive as your top speed/engine size don't come into it and a smaller car is often more practical.
Spending more for a bigger car (spending more for other advantages or personal preference is fair enough) just because it's bigger, especially if you can't afford it, seems absurd.
I don't understand how someone can link an object with the person's personality. It just doesn't seem logical.
1. Owns big car.
2. ????
3. Is therefore masculine somehow.

It's the same thing with dogs. I'm more likely to think a guy with a chihuahua on a lead is more comfortable with himself than a guy with a pit bull or a big dog, as the former doesn't care what people think of him, whereas the other is clearly concerned with projecting a macho image to others, based on conventional images of masculinity, and is therefore probably insecure.

Solair wrote: »

Usually I find it's outwardly macho guys who spend their lives being paranoid about people thinking they might be a pussy!

Fragile egos!

This.
If I did use the term, it would probably be for such people. It's one thing to be insecure about how people see you. Most people experience that to some extent. It's another to avoid that issue, and instead of trying to increase one's self-esteem, putting on a farcical act to try to impress others.

I do especially loathe those types who will lash out against people they perceive* as weaker than them. If picking on an easy target is the only way you can make yourself feel better, you're a pretty weak individual.

Also, men so threatened by women that they perceive any movements towards gender equality as attacks on masculinity and attempts to forcibly change men. What I find most worrying are the men whose default setting is anger towards women that even if faced with women making reasonable points and even arguing for the case of disadvantaged men, they'll still imagine radical feminists attempting to turn men into women where there are none. You don't have to go too far to find examples of that.

So while I don't use the word "pussy," if I did, I might use it to describe such insecure men.

*"perceive," because they don't always get it right *
EDIT: like my attempts to embed this video!

The King of Moo wrote: »

hardbackwriter wrote: »

not caring what people think of you is over rated and is IMO strictly for eccentrics if taken to a full extent, as for this business of insecure men needing to project a traditional male Immage , has it ever occurred to you that that is thier real self , feminist thinking having become mainstream has brought about a mindset that traditional masculine traits are dysfunctional and effectively a mental disorder which needs curing

I know lots of men who would have traits considered traditionally masculine: physically strong, not worried about being weak, considering themselves the breadwinner in their relationship etc. and none of them put on brash outward shows of machismo, because they know they conform to what they see as being masculine, and are happy and comfortable with that.

I also know some men who do put on big shows of machismo, and from what I know of them, they're quite insecure and are putting on these shows to try to convince themselves and others of their worthiness.

Obviously I can't speak for every case in the world, but I can extrapolate from these cases and others I observe to recognise a general trend.

As for people concerned with how other people see oneself: it's unavoidable to an extent, we're only human and can't help seeking others' approval to an extent. But caring too much about how one appears to others means neglecting one's own ego, and making oneself happy. You mentioned earlier that ego is an inherently male trait, so don't you think caring about how others see you is fairly incompatible with having a big ego?

As to the bolded part, I think that's a bit extreme. I don't know anyone of either gender who thinks that, or any elements of society which institutionalise such a position.
Can you give any examples?