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Is it possible to have a shyte so huge that you get admitted to the maternity ward?

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Comments

  • #52
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    JaxxYChicK wrote: »
    What are they then, men?

    We fart too. :eek:

    Good girl, that's the spirit, nothing to be ashamed in letting off a big ripper!


  • #53
    Duggy747
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    Princess Peach wrote: »
    Eh don't speak of behalf of me please. Cause I know I don't!

    Might want to see your local GP about that one, not sure it's healthy :pac:


  • #54
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Duggy747 wrote: »
    Might want to see your local GP about that one, not sure it's healthy :pac:

    As the fella says, "It's better to have an empty house than a bold lodger" :pac:


  • #55
    Jaxxy
    Registered Users Posts: 4,297 ✭✭✭Jaxxy


    Princess Peach wrote: »
    Eh don't speak of behalf of me please. Cause I know I don't!

    You don't **** and you don't fart? Then there's something medically wrong with you. This notion that "ladies" don't use the bathroom in such a manner is completely ridiculous. It's a natural bodily function that has absolutely no bearing on whether you're a "lady" or not.

    Just because you don't want to talk about it doesn't mean you don't do it. That's silly.


  • #56
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,107 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    This thread needs laxative.


  • #57
    Princess Peach
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,698 ✭✭✭✭Princess Peach


    JaxxYChicK wrote: »
    You don't **** and you don't fart? Then there's something medically wrong with you. This notion that "ladies" don't use the bathroom in such a manner is completely ridiculous. It's a natural bodily function that has absolutely no bearing on whether you're a "lady" or not.

    Just because you don't want to talk about it doesn't mean you don't do it. That's silly.

    I don't do either. Thats my story and I'm sticking to it :D


  • #58
    Fizman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,605 ✭✭✭Fizman


    There's been a few that I would have liked to have gotten weighed actually. Y'know, just out of interest.


  • #59
    Duggy747
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    My GF puts me to shame with her farts, mine sound like a mouse crying compared to her cannon fire.

    I'd accept this if she was big but she's tiny (Handy for resting my arm on her head :pac:)


  • #60
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Princess Peach wrote: »
    I don't do either. Thats my story and I'm sticking to it :D

    Next you'll be telling us you don't gee fart to dry your flaps.....

    :pac:


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  • #61
    jackiebaron
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,038 ✭✭✭jackiebaron


    0verblood wrote: »
    Ha! Thanks! Must google some compacted fecal matter.

    So if you arrive at A&E and tell them that your poo is too big to squeeze out by yourself... they would actually put on some rubber gloves and pull it out like a baby? I supposed I guessed right that there must be some sort of fecal midwife nurse available in hospitals.


    Nah, I'm sure they'd give you a warm water enema....put you on your back, hose up arse and then pump a gallon of water up there to break up the offending lump and then have the slurry cascade out of your a-hole.


  • #62
    kfallon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    jackiebaron wrote: »
    Nah, I'm sure they'd give you a warm water enema....put you on your back, hose up arse and then pump a gallon of water up there to break up the offending lump and then have the slurry cascade out of your a-hole.

    Surely all done to the theme tune of 'Dambusters'???


  • #63
    Duggy747
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    jackiebaron wrote: »
    Nah, I'm sure they'd give you a warm water enema....put you on your back, hose up arse and then pump a gallon of water up there to break up the offending lump and then have the slurry cascade out of your a-hole.

    If you google for some monster asian enemas you'll get some fine examples of what happens when 4 litres of various liquids and eggs is syringed up your arse :pac:


  • #64
    phill106
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,821 ✭✭✭phill106


    Duggy747 wrote: »
    If you google for some monster asian enemas you'll get some fine examples of what happens when 4 litres of various liquids and eggs is syringed up your arse :pac:

    and you would know this because...


  • #65
    0verblood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 455 ✭✭0verblood


    kfallon wrote: »
    Surely all done to the theme tune of 'Dambusters'???


    There should be a tumble weed smiley.


  • #66
    Duggy747
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    phill106 wrote: »
    and you would know this because...

    It was on an episode of The Brady Bunch, I think.


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  • #67
    FlutterinBantam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,575 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    jaysus :confused:

    Another amateur.

    Look son, never force a ..well.... 'seal pup' or you can do damage to the ringpiece, and that ain't funny.

    Thing for you is porridge oats and brown bread for a day or too to loosen up.

    When you feel the build up and she is roasting nicely,gently push and when she 'crowns' push more and as soon as the 'pace car' leaves the pits you can spool up to max pressure.

    All this sitting around in the cold weather is not good for the movements and i also recommend fresh Orange Juice, taken early and she will 'hose out' like loose slurry after a shower.

    Take care of your hole, it's only when she is damaged you realise how important it is.

    Good man.


  • #68
    stoneill
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,609 ✭✭✭stoneill


    FlutterinBantam wrote: »
    jaysus :confused:

    Take care of your hole, it's only when she is damaged you realise how important it is.

    Are arses female?


  • #69
    phill106
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,821 ✭✭✭phill106


    stoneill wrote: »
    Are arses female?

    Course, otherwise its ghey


  • #70
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Princess Peach wrote: »
    Eh don't speak of behalf of me please. Cause I know I don't!

    but you know a girl who did in the cinema


  • #71
    the bolt
    Registered Users Posts: 485 ✭✭the bolt


    flahavaj wrote: »
    OP is full of sh*t.
    not any more hes not


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  • #72
    FoxT
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,204 ✭✭✭FoxT


    Going by the thread titles, I reckon the Fitness forum has this issue covered...
    http://bit.ly/eagUxT


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