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Why do people cheat on their partners?

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Comments

  • #102
    AeoNGriM
    Registered Users Posts: 712 ✭✭✭AeoNGriM


    frag420 wrote: »
    She was a bee keeper?? Cool!!

    Deadly buzz!


  • #103
    blueyes12
    Registered Users Posts: 23 ✭blueyes12


    floggg wrote: »
    blueyes12 wrote: »

    Hey to be honest he has not got it easy off me by any meanes, but I totally agree with you an that's the problem there is no way that I can look her in the eye or sit in both their company again, at least until he comes clean, you see he has been my friend since we were kids, I'd say 5 years old, we are both in our early thirties now.

    Yes there has been lots of harsh comments, some good and some down right crap but eh what can I expect from an open forum as such.

    I really just joined this site as I needed to get my thoughts out!

    Thanks 😄

    I don't get why you get to give him a hard time. It's not your relationship and it's not your trust he betrayed.

    As far as I'm concerned a relationship is between the people involved only, and as long as there is no mental or physical abuse is between them.

    There is plenty of bull**** that goes on in all relationships, and if people were to involve themselves in yours I'm sure they could find plenty of things to judge you for (and likewise your partner). The say could be said for my relationships.

    People should butt out of other peoples relationships and leave em to it unless it somehow directly involved them.

    If it was your friend who was being cheated on, then fine, let them know and by there for them whatever way they decide to play it. That's just looking out for a friend.

    But outside of that, I don't think you should involve yourself in other people's business.

    If you read through you will find out I did not ask to be involved and to be honest I would rather have not known,

    He confided in me during a time of need, all I can do is actively listen and be there as his friend.

    Did I advise him in any way? No!

    He came to me, what would you have done turned your back!


  • #104
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,170 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Boredom.
    Self destructive behavior.
    Looking to get a replacement partner and checking out the options.

    Gender split within those three? IMHO and going on observation over the years the first two are more a male thing and the latter two more a female. Generalisation of course.

    PS IME women are just as likely to cheat for sexual kicks as men.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • #105
    floggg
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,824 ✭✭✭floggg


    You said he didn't get it easy off you which would suggest he got a hard time.

    If he came to you to talk or get advice that's one thing. You can tell him you disagree but can hear him out or whatever.

    If (as I inferred from your post but perhaps I am wrong to do so) you gave him out to him or gave him a hard time, I just don't think it's your place.

    I know this is a different situation but I get sick of seeing all these stupid magazine with their love rat headlines about such and such celeb cheating. We have no idea what goes on in their relationship and whatever happens in a couple is their own business.


  • #106
    charlietheminxx
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,579 ✭✭✭charlietheminxx


    It makes me sad that cheating is so common. Tbh, while mistakes can happen at any time, I really do believe that if you meet the right person you won't cheat on them.

    Someone that keeps sex interesting and who is your best friend as well as your partner.... it's rare, but when you find it, temptation disappears. I think a lot of people settle in a relationship. They settle for less than what they want and it leaves them bored and curious about what else is out there.

    The guy who cheated on the prim girl with the porn star type girl? (sorry can't remember your name) Why were you with such a prim girl in the first place? She clearly doesn't hold your interest sexually, you're selling both of you short by being in a relationship and cheating on her when she isn't even really what you want.

    Break up with someone rather than cheating on them.


  • #107
    Thumby
    Registered Users Posts: 1,143 ✭✭✭Thumby


    You're bang on there charlietheminxx


  • #108
    Varied
    Closed Accounts Posts: 725 ✭✭✭Varied


    I met someone recently and couldn't imagine myself being with her long term so I broke up with her.

    Many years of experience brought me to that conclusion. I've been cheated on and have cheated myself, the hurt is far too great for me to do it again as I know how it feels to be on the receiving end.

    Also to anyone that decides to stay with a partner after they cheat, don't, because the relationship will be plagued with arguments and petty mistrust.

    Best to make a clean break and get out if someone cheats on you.


  • #109
    Bruce7
    Closed Accounts Posts: 500 ✭✭✭Bruce7


    mfceiling wrote: »
    Funny I met a lad I haven't seen in a while last night.

    Asks me was I holidays. Yeah just back on Saturday from Barcelona and France I says. Did you see the whores in Barcelona on the street? I did pass them with herself and the kids one evening coming home from having our tea.
    Did you go off with them he asks? Eh...no...I was with herself and the kids...how or why the f*ck would I when I've saved all year for this holiday for myself and the family.

    He then tells me he was flat out with them when he was there....he has a missus and 2 kids..who I've met and adore him...and he's out with whores!!

    Jesus, those whores are pretty manky from what I remember. If they weren't black, they were transsexuals. Your mate must be a real horn dog.


  • #110
    tan11ie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,056 ✭✭✭tan11ie


    charlietheminxx wrote: »
    I think a lot of people settle in a relationship. They settle for less than what they want and it leaves them bored and curious about what else is out there.

    You hit the nail on the head there^


  • #111
    chainsawman
    Registered Users Posts: 457 ✭✭chainsawman


    I think people who want to marry or live with a partner would be better off to have the same hobbies as each other to stop either of em going astray. Just my two cent.


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  • #112
    RaRaRasputin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 394 ✭✭RaRaRasputin


    Bad Panda wrote: »
    A potential risk he most likely new nothing about.

    However, if he's violent and she leaves, he'll know about it and I guess she feared things would get more than a little out of hand if she told him she was leaving.

    I understand that but I'm not sure if I'd want to risk cheating and the violent partner finding out about it. If the person was truely violent they would surely make you regret cheating on them big time.


  • #113
    Quorum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 474 ✭✭Quorum


    Micky Dolenz wrote: »
    Long term monagomy is unnatural for some. Over half of the worlds male population don't practice it.

    Women cheat as much as men.


  • #114
    mauzo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,033 ✭✭✭mauzo


    RaRaRasputin wrote: »
    Bad Panda wrote: »
    A potential risk he most likely new nothing about.

    However, if he's violent and she leaves, he'll know about it and I guess she feared things would get more than a little out of hand if she told him she was leaving.

    I understand that but I'm not sure if I'd want to risk cheating and the violent partner finding out about it. If the person was truely violent they would surely make you regret cheating on them big time.

    Oh don't worry, he did. He found out and that was actually the best thing that could have happened.

    He went absolutely crazy and I ended up having to cal the gardai.

    Went to my parents the same day and told them everything. Best day of my life.


  • #115
    Brain Stroking
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,874 ✭✭✭Brain Stroking


    charlietheminxx wrote: »
    It makes me sad that cheating is so common. Tbh, while mistakes can happen at any time, I really do believe that if you meet the right person you won't cheat on them.

    Someone that keeps sex interesting and who is your best friend as well as your partner.... it's rare, but when you find it, temptation disappears. I think a lot of people settle in a relationship. They settle for less than what they want and it leaves them bored and curious about what else is out there.

    The guy who cheated on the prim girl with the porn star type girl? (sorry can't remember your name) Why were you with such a prim girl in the first place? She clearly doesn't hold your interest sexually, you're selling both of you short by being in a relationship and cheating on her when she isn't even really what you want.

    Break up with someone rather than cheating on them.

    100% agree. If you delve into this issue further you'd see that the way society is set up means there will always be the cheating problem. People are looked down upon if they dont get into a relationship. So people put huge importance on finding a partner and, as Charlie says above, settle for someone who is merely satisfactory. This leads to boredom and bla bla bla.
    I'm 30 years of age and single over a year. I get grief from my parents every time i visit home asking when i'll settle down etc. I am perfectly happy to wait for someone right but am ready to acknowledge that, if someone right doesnt come along, then i will be fine on my own. Being alone is a lot better in my opinion than ending up with someone who is merely tolerable.


  • #116
    Kashkai
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,399 ✭✭✭Kashkai


    Brain Stroking wrote: »
    People are looked down upon if they dont get into a relationship. So people put huge importance on finding a partner and, as Charlie says above, settle for someone who is merely satisfactory. This leads to boredom and bla bla bla.
    I'm 30 years of age and single over a year. I get grief from my parents every time i visit home asking when i'll settle down etc. I am perfectly happy to wait for someone right but am ready to acknowledge that, if someone right doesnt come along, then i will be fine on my own. Being alone is a lot better in my opinion than ending up with someone who is merely tolerable.

    That is so fcuking true that it's like a kick in the head.


  • #117
    RaRaRasputin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 394 ✭✭RaRaRasputin


    mauzo wrote: »
    Oh don't worry, he did. He found out and that was actually the best thing that could have happened.

    He went absolutely crazy and I ended up having to cal the gardai.

    Went to my parents the same day and told them everything. Best day of my life.


    Well, be glad it ended like that. Can't blame him for going crazy tbh, because I guess most people would have been a bit irate had they found out about such a thing.


  • #118
    fakearms123
    Registered Users Posts: 1,381 ✭✭✭fakearms123


    Familiarity is the main reason, if you become too familiar with your partner things can become boring and the "spark" is gone. That is why spontaneity, romance and excitement is terribly important to keep a couple strong. You must respect and trust your partner enough to open your heart to them, dreams, fears, everything and trust that they won't betray you.

    If you can't make your girlfriend laugh and smile as much as you did in the first few months together then it becomes a downward spiral. They will lose interest and stray, which is what happened to me.


  • #119
    Micky Dolenz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 44,080 ✭✭✭✭Micky Dolenz


    Quorum wrote: »
    Women cheat as much as men.

    Agreed. I never mentioned cheating in my post. People who are in polygamous relationships aren't cheating.


  • #120
    mauzo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,033 ✭✭✭mauzo


    RaRaRasputin wrote: »
    mauzo wrote: »
    Oh don't worry, he did. He found out and that was actually the best thing that could have happened.

    He went absolutely crazy and I ended up having to cal the gardai.

    Went to my parents the same day and told them everything. Best day of my life.


    Well, be glad it ended like that. Can't blame him for going crazy tbh, because I guess most people would have been a bit irate had they found out about such a thing.

    Yeah a bit irate is what he was...LOL!


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  • #121
    Quorum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 474 ✭✭Quorum


    Micky Dolenz wrote: »
    Agreed. I never mentioned cheating in my post. People who are in polygamous relationships aren't cheating.

    You could understand in the context of this thread how one might think you were talking about cheaters, yeah?


  • #122
    Micky Dolenz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 44,080 ✭✭✭✭Micky Dolenz


    Quorum wrote: »
    You could understand in the context of this thread how one might think you were talking about cheaters, yeah?

    I understand that you misunderstood, yes.


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