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is it ever okay to wear white to a wedding?

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Comments

  • #52
    Chattastrophe!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,284 ✭✭✭Chattastrophe!


    My cousin wore a white knee-length dress to a wedding a couple of years back, along with red shoes, a red sash and red accessories. Not a "wedding-y" looking dress at all.

    We overheard quite a few of the Afters guests on the groom's side asking if she was the bride ... she even had a couple of people come up and congratulate her. So, if you do wear white, be prepared for a certain amount of that sort of thing - particularly if it's a large wedding.


  • #53
    tatli_lokma
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,332 ✭✭✭tatli_lokma


    Tlachtga wrote: »
    My cousin wore a white knee-length dress to a wedding a couple of years back, along with red shoes, a red sash and red accessories. Not a "wedding-y" looking dress at all.

    We overheard quite a few of the Afters guests on the groom's side asking if she was the bride ... she even had a couple of people come up and congratulate her. So, if you do wear white, be prepared for a certain amount of that sort of thing - particularly if it's a large wedding.
    You do have to wonder who goes to a wedding when they don't even know the couple!! This is part of why I hate the traditional view of weddings where you invite friends of grannies and relatives who the couple have never met. Personally I would never invite people to a wedding if I didn't know them. I find that rather bizarre. To be honest in the OP's situation I would be declining the invite as it seems they don't really know the couple very well. Then the whole white dress headache would go away!


  • #54
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    tatli_lokma wrote: »
    You do have to wonder who goes to a wedding when they don't even know the couple!!

    Sometimes the invited persons +1 doesnt know the bride and groom, thats totally normal. Or occasionally people get invited through some other relationship - myself and my husband went to a wedding where neither of us really knew the bride or groom but my husband had worked with the grooms father for 15 years.


  • #55
    smcgiff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,943 ✭✭✭smcgiff


    username123 wrote: »
    myself and my husband went to a wedding where neither of us really knew the bride or groom but my husband had worked with the grooms father for 15 years.

    That's a perfect example of someone that shouldn't be invited.

    Also, for my wedding we would have known those we invited well enough to know their +1. Mad thought I know :D


  • #56
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    smcgiff wrote: »
    That's a perfect example of someone that shouldn't be invited.

    Also, for my wedding we would have known those we invited well enough to know their +1. Mad thought I know :D

    Yeah apparently each set of parents was given carte blanche to invite 5 couples each (it allowed for great aunties etc...), but the grooms parents were from the UK and didnt really have any relations to invite so we got an invite. In fairness my hubby did know who the groom was and had met him over the years, but they werent friends.

    It was one of those bizarre weddings where there were 200 odd people and lots of people didnt know the bride or groom.


  • #57
    tatli_lokma
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,332 ✭✭✭tatli_lokma


    But just because you are invited doesn't mean you have to go. Personally I would feel very odd to attend a wedding when I only had a passing acquaintance with one of the couple. Even with being invited I think I'd feel like a gatecrasher. Plus, I wouldn't be inclined to go to all the trouble of arranging travel, spending money on a gift, possibly spending money on a hotel for people I really have no care for. It seems a bit odd to me - in my head weddings are about celebrating the joining of the couple. Friends and family gather to celebrate this, and give gifts and well wishes. Those gifts and well wishes are rather hollow if you don't really know the couple and in one years time probably wouldn't even know or care if they were divorced, had a baby on the way etc.

    I know that often the +1 won't know both of the couple - that is fair enough, but at least the invited guest would know and care for at least half of the couple, and assuming so want to share the happiness.

    I've been invited to weddings of people once removed, shall we say - friends of the family who I haven't seen/spoke to in years. I never go. I always think it odd to even get an invite in the first place. If I'm honest the first thing that comes to mind is to wonder if they are having an 'Eddie Hobbs' wedding, i.e invite more people to get more gifts and therefore the wedding costs less per head. Possibly unfair to all the couples, I am sure perhaps some of the invites are due to parents having a number of people invited, but still.

    But we are getting off topic here.

    Personally, I think certain styles of white dress if accessorised with colour are fine. But if it was causing me a headache, and it wasn't even the wedding of someone I even know and my husband barely knows, I wouldn't go and would save my nice new guna for an occasion I actually want to attend. :p


  • #58
    ncmc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,852 ✭✭✭ncmc


    It's funny I was just talking to my SIL about this yesterday, her sister is looking for a dress for an upcoming wedding and had liked a cream dress, my initial reaction was 'no way!' I think the majority of brides probably wouldn't really care, but as previous posters have said, it's a fairly well known custom and why take the risk?

    I think if you need to ask the question and need to add countless green adornments, then you kinda know its not cool! It's one colour out of the whole colour spectrum that you're not supposed to wear and I just think why risk a) possibly annoying the bride and b) risk guests thinking you are rude. It's just not worth it in my opinion and I don't think that makes me an old biddy! Judging by some of your later posts you seem to be getting defensive about people saying no and it nearly comes across like you're just wearing it to stick two fingers up to the 'old biddies'.

    At the end if the day, it's your choice, as long as your comfortable and don't feel awkward on the day, that's the main thing. As I said, I personally wouldn't and I think the majority of people wouldn't, but if you're happy with your decision then go for it.

    Congrats on your weight loss btw, that's a great achievement.


  • #59
    Hannibal Smith
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,893 ✭✭✭Hannibal Smith


    ncmc wrote: »
    It's funny I was just talking to my SIL about this yesterday, her sister is looking for a dress for an upcoming wedding and had liked a cream dress, my initial reaction was 'no way!' I think the majority of brides probably wouldn't really care, but as previous posters have said, it's a fairly well known custom and why take the risk?

    I think if you need to ask the question and need to add countless green adornments, then you kinda know its not cool! It's one colour out of the whole colour spectrum that you're not supposed to wear and I just think why risk a) possibly annoying the bride and b) risk guests thinking you are rude. It's just not worth it in my opinion and I don't think that makes me an old biddy! Judging by some of your later posts you seem to be getting defensive about people saying no and it nearly comes across like you're just wearing it to stick two fingers up to the 'old biddies'.

    At the end if the day, it's your choice, as long as your comfortable and don't feel awkward on the day, that's the main thing. As I said, I personally wouldn't and I think the majority of people wouldn't, but if you're happy with your decision then go for it.

    Congrats on your weight loss btw, that's a great achievement.

    Im not getting defensive at all (in general). Ive said time and time again throughout the thread that im grateful for all reaponses. If you read the first few posts I was actually flip flopping between both answers. But im not going to be accused of wanting to look like a bride and sit back and be pleasant about it. To be fair I put up with a lot of insults and accusations in the thread before I bit back ;)

    Now I see the thread have derailed to such a point im being questioned about how I got invited and I shouldn't even be going lol. Its not creating a headache for me at all...I think its effecting more people on here than it is me :D

    I think some people are missing the point and the intention or have read the thread title and snippets of posts added 2 and 2 and come up with 5. I didn't purposefully go out and buy a white dress...its one I have already that will do other than the fact its white. I dont have another dress that fits...its accessorised enough to de-emphasise the white...is nothing like a bridal gown and it looks great. And to the sarcastic person who said 'its all about me'...well yes...I am a major factor in deciding what I wear :P

    So again, as I said I have read and accepted both sides of the discussionand appreciate all the comments. .whether constructive or not :P


  • #60
    SusieBlue
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,029 ✭✭✭SusieBlue


    michellie wrote: »
    I hate when people wear white or ivory to a wedding. There are billions of different colors, is it so hard not to wear one like the bride ?


    My friends and I have spoken about this recently. I just don't like it.

    Summer weddings are very hard to dress for imo. You only need to look in the shops too see the majority of dresses are various shades of white/cream/nude/beige, you get my drift.


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