Approaching a Girl in the Street

newbee22 · 19-03-2012 8:47pm

Off to Easons I go!

Giselle · 19-03-2012 9:49pm

Deleted User wrote: »

So it seems a bookstore is the best place to do this then?

Bookstores have never struck me as a hotbed of romantic activity before.

I'm starting to think buying a Kindle was a mistake.

Scanlas The 2nd · 19-03-2012 10:11pm

CarlsBurg wrote: »

snafuk35 wrote: »

Girls will often say they have a boyfriend if they don't have one.
Don't fall at the first fence and give up straight away?

I believe when you ask a girl out and she says she has a boyfriend... thats it, move on.

Its usually (A,) its an excuse as she is not interested or (B,) she generally has a boyfriend. One of the other. The whole "playing hard to get" doesnt happen that much in the real world. Unless we bring teases or head-wreckers into the equation.

Sometimes they say they have a boyfriend so you'll be discrete about moving things forward. Usually it means she's not interested whether it's true or not.

cade · 19-03-2012 10:40pm

While sitting on a dublin bus a few years ago a french girl started talking to me. She was over visiting with her family, whom were sitting a few seats up from us. It was a nice enough talk, her telling me stuff about herself and asking a few questions of me though naturally I was in defensive mode, I was shyer back then, and it felt kind of weird trying to chat to a girl with her family right there. Anyhow, after chatting for a while, my bus does a tour of dublin in its route :mad:, and asking for my name which she couldn't understand until I added a french tint to it she wrote out her email address for me and asked me to mail her.

So I never did mail her in the end and nothing like it has happened since. Of note I feel I'd be a lot more open to a situation like that happening nowadays and would be more engaging in the conversation or maybe that was my one and only shot, who knows, C'est la vie.

snafuk35 · 20-03-2012 12:23am

cade wrote: »

While sitting on a dublin bus a few years ago a french girl started talking to me. She was over visiting with her family, whom were sitting a few seats up from us. It was a nice enough talk, her telling me stuff about herself and asking a few questions of me though naturally I was in defensive mode, I was shyer back then, and it felt kind of weird trying to chat to a girl with her family right there. Anyhow, after chatting for a while, my bus does a tour of dublin in its route :mad:, and asking for my name which she couldn't understand until I added a french tint to it she wrote out her email address for me and asked me to mail her.

So I never did mail her in the end and nothing like it has happened since. Of note I feel I'd be a lot more open to a situation like that happening nowadays and would be more engaging in the conversation or maybe that was my one and only shot, who knows, C'est la vie.

You can get talking to women every day and anywhere. Nothing is stopping you. Do it. Life is too short.

Sully34 · 20-03-2012 12:49am

The reason it works in the movies is probably down to the likes of Clooney and Pitt. Dont think the ladies take too kindly to being accosted in the street by some tanked up muck savage

snafuk35 · 20-03-2012 7:43pm

Sully34 wrote: »

The reason it works in the movies is probably down to the likes of Clooney and Pitt. Dont think the ladies take too kindly to being accosted in the street by some tanked up muck savage

That's rubbish. Just because you believe you can't do it does not mean other men can't. How do you think men and women together? Magic? Fate? If you want females in your life you have to talk to them and not miss the opportunity. If you were sitting next to a hottie on the bus and you regretted not saying anything well later that's because you should have. When you see other guys with gorgeous women how do you think they got together with them? They opened their mouths and got chatting and one thing followed another.

MrStuffins · 20-03-2012 8:15pm

snafuk35 wrote: »

Sully34 wrote: »

The reason it works in the movies is probably down to the likes of Clooney and Pitt. Dont think the ladies take too kindly to being accosted in the street by some tanked up muck savage

That's rubbish. Just because you believe you can't do it does not mean other men can't. How do you think men and women together? Magic? Fate? If you want females in your life you have to talk to them and not miss the opportunity. If you were sitting next to a hottie on the bus and you regretted not saying anything well later that's because you should have. When you see other guys with gorgeous women how do you think they got together with them? They opened their mouths and got chatting and one thing followed another.

I think you're kinda failing to understand whats going on here. Not every couple have gotten together from one approaching the other in the street, which this conversation is about. It's not all just about talking to someone. It's well known that some scenarios are "more appropriate" than others.

Talk to a girl in a nightclub, acceptable! Chatting a girl up at her granny's funeral, very much less so!

Sully34 · 20-03-2012 10:40pm

snafuk35 wrote: »

That's rubbish. Just because you believe you can't do it does not mean other men can't. How do you think men and women together? Magic? Fate? If you want females in your life you have to talk to them and not miss the opportunity. If you were sitting next to a hottie on the bus and you regretted not saying anything well later that's because you should have. When you see other guys with gorgeous women how do you think they got together with them? They opened their mouths and got chatting and one thing followed another.

Christ calm down it was a joke. I take it your single then

snafuk35 · 20-03-2012 11:04pm

Sully34 wrote: »

Christ calm down it was a joke. I take it your single then

This isn't a joke. This is very serious business indeed.

Jimmy Iovine · 21-03-2012 1:19am

MrStuffins wrote: »

I think you're kinda failing to understand whats going on here. Not every couple have gotten together from one approaching the other in the street, which this conversation is about. It's not all just about talking to someone. It's well known that some scenarios are "more appropriate" than others.

Talk to a girl in a nightclub, acceptable! Chatting a girl up at her granny's funeral, very much less so!

Unless you're Will Ferrell :pac:.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWkqBRuwjeY

karaokeman · 21-03-2012 8:29am

I still find it intriguing this thread turned into a us lads jump at the first opportunity discussion about meeting women coming in and out of bookstores.

As Snafuk35 said it you can meet women anywhere and anytime. The only people who don't have this opportunity are the people who stay in all the time, unless you get out into the world you will not get anything you want in life.

Things are not just going to come running to you, you need to go running for them.

I for one will be sure not to sit there saying nothing the next time I sit beside a good looking lassie on a bus or train.

G-Money · 21-03-2012 10:30am

I've never approached a girl in the street or in a shop or anything but I usually force myself to at the very least say hello if I'm around a girl and catch her eye. It rarely goes anywhere but I figured it's a good habit to get into. I especially do this in the lift in my apartment building although some people are more friendly than others. One girl for example got into the lift the other day and her whole body language and expression screamed "don't speak to me". I imagine had I looked like Brad Pitt or something, she would have been much more open. I did make myself say hello anyway even though I'd no interest in taking the conversation any further than that.

Then other times I get into a wee chit-chat with people. It's rarely anything deep or meaningful, usually about the weather or this or that, but it's something I try to do as I suspect I'm not as social as I could or should be.

homerun_homer · 21-03-2012 10:46am

The last time I saw someone, had eye contact and had smiles & some head-turning from her was before Christmas and I've been kicking myself for not doing anything since. But even now I sorta don't know what I would have said.
The sad thing is I feel ok about it because I saved myself potential embarrassment. The general consensus from the ladies of this thread is that one would get shot down for making the effort but she will be flattered from your bravery/misguidedness. It's a pity that something that is so normal and socially acceptable in America is looked at as weird here.

I would only find the idea of a stranger in a shop/on the street/waiting on bus etc asking me out awkward if it was really forced, embarrassing or if it happened while I had company. I had an American girl ask for my number years ago on the street when I was helping a cousin out with a job. I didn't see her as my type but I thought she had bigger *metaphorical* balls than me so I gave her my number. I told myself I wouldn't fob her off if she got in touch since this doesn't happen everyday (or ever). She didn't get in touch in the end but I'm glad to know that I wasn't going to close myself off like many others would do.
People in this country need to loosen up a good bit* and be open to these things.

mawk · 21-03-2012 11:11am

dellas1979 wrote: »

The experiment shouldnt be about what their reaction will be-that is not under your control.

what we in the design of experiments business call a noise factor. which, going by random girls I meet, is appropriate

snafuk35 · 21-03-2012 8:35pm

G-Money wrote: »

I've never approached a girl in the street or in a shop or anything but I usually force myself to at the very least say hello if I'm around a girl and catch her eye. It rarely goes anywhere but I figured it's a good habit to get into. I especially do this in the lift in my apartment building although some people are more friendly than others. One girl for example got into the lift the other day and her whole body language and expression screamed "don't speak to me". I imagine had I looked like Brad Pitt or something, she would have been much more open. I did make myself say hello anyway even though I'd no interest in taking the conversation any further than that.

Then other times I get into a wee chit-chat with people. It's rarely anything deep or meaningful, usually about the weather or this or that, but it's something I try to do as I suspect I'm not as social as I could or should be.

You gotta strut! This clip from Saturday Night Fever encapsulates all you need to know without words.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1e5h9YSe_k

Sully34 · 21-03-2012 8:42pm

snafuk35 wrote: »

This isn't a joke. This is very serious business indeed.

You need to get yourself a bird mate

snafuk35 · 22-03-2012 11:32pm

Sully34 wrote: »

You need to get yourself a bird mate

I have no problems in that department mate.

That_Guy · 23-03-2012 1:15pm

Book shops are a good way of chatting up women... I think that's what I've learned from this thread.

"Hey baby... Literacy turns me on. How's about you and I have se... No wait... *checks thesauraus*.. fornicate behind those Joe Duffy books"

"Won't someone see us?"

"Hell no baby. It's Joe Duffy. Nobody buys that shít"

To Easons!! Tally ho!!

Daisies · 23-03-2012 1:21pm

Has anyone tried this as a result of this thread?

G-Money · 23-03-2012 3:51pm

I could see this probably working if you managed to get a good chat with someone and both people felt comfortable and were getting on well. I'd say trying to get a number within a few minutes would be tricky though.

Michellenman · 23-03-2012 4:22pm

Yeah, assuming you've struck up conversation somehow and are getting along then I'd say go for it. I'd be wary agreeing to go out with someone who just approached me out of nowhere and came straight out with it.

Dr Galen · 23-03-2012 4:32pm

snafuk35 wrote: »

You can get talking to women every day and anywhere. Nothing is stopping you. Do it. Life is too short.

I have to agree with this wholeheartedly, and say that it applies to all the lovely ladies out there.

I hear my male and female friends saying the same thing, about whatever random hottie delivers the watercooler bottles, is always at the bus stop, live just down the stairs etc.

Just say hello lads, smile and be nice. I'd agree, that coming straight out with some cheese, or asking for their number within 3 mins would be a bit weird, but I say grasp the nettle by it's stalk and do it.

Scanlas The 2nd · 23-03-2012 5:45pm

G-Money wrote: »

I could see this probably working if you managed to get a good chat with someone and both people felt comfortable and were getting on well. I'd say trying to get a number within a few minutes would be tricky though.

It most definitely can work in Ireland I've successfully done it myself ( as well as unsuccessfully). It's all in your head that it can't be done by an ordinary bloke. If you get her laughing and you're relaxed and playful it isn't that hard once you get a bit if practice under your belt.

A friend of mine chatted up an Irish girl in the sauna, there were 3 or 4 other other people in there as well as me. After about 20 minutes he said " I'm enjoying talking to you give me your phone number and we'll go out sometime". Can't remember exact words. Something like that. Then the three of us left to go to the lockers in our swimming gear, they got their phones and exchanges numbers and met up a few days later. She was a normal good looking Irish girl. Unless you are barely recognisable as a human there is no excuse why you can't do it yourself.

I think when you suddenly ask for a woman's number on the street it's weird unless you have a reason for asking for her number. When you say for example "I'm enjoying chatting with you, put your number in my phone ( hand over phone) and maybe we'll meet up sometime.

guitarzero · 23-03-2012 6:16pm

Keep her laughing, is there anything else to it? If you can make her laugh you're in, if you cant then walk on. Unless you are a drop dead stud.

boomtown123 · 23-03-2012 10:14pm

This happened me...he approached me, asked me for my number. said he would text...NO TEXT.

Weird! Like why bother? :rolleyes:

snafuk35 · 24-03-2012 12:32am

boomtown123 wrote: »

This happened me...he approached me, asked me for my number. said he would text...NO TEXT.

Weird! Like why bother? :rolleyes:

Maybe he met someone else? I often get a half dozen or more number on a Saturday afternoon and then of that number at least one or two dates lined up for the week. A guy can get laid once or twice a week and that works out at last 50 to 100 women a year.
Warren Beatty the famous actor is believed to have bedded 30,000+ women over a three decade period which works out at roughly 3 women a day.
In the book Hollywood Hellraisers he used to target women everywhere he went - whether it was his co-stars or girls who were chambermaids or waitresses or barmaids or girls he exchanged numbers with on the street.

Statistics show that the average man has sex with only 9 women.
I pity them!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationships/sexual-health-and-advice/8958520/Average-man-has-9-sexual-partners-in-lifetime-women-have-4.html

boomtown123 · 24-03-2012 1:02am

snafuk35 wrote: »

Maybe he met someone else? I often get a half dozen or more number on a Saturday afternoon and then of that number at least one or two dates lined up for the week. A guy can get laid once or twice a week and that works out at last 50 to 100 women a year.
Warren Beatty the famous actor is believed to have bedded 30,000+ women over a three decade period which works out at roughly 3 women a day.
In the book Hollywood Hellraisers he used to target women everywhere he went - whether it was his co-stars or girls who were chambermaids or waitresses or barmaids or girls he exchanged numbers with on the street.

Statistics show that the average man has sex with only 9 women.
I pity them!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationships/sexual-health-and-advice/8958520/Average-man-has-9-sexual-partners-in-lifetime-women-have-4.html

^^^never going near a guy again! :eek: Hope your keeping yourself protected - we don't need a huge baby boom! :rolleyes:

He asked me to meet up for coffee sometime? that meant sex???

Pembily · 24-03-2012 1:38am

Dude god love you!!

Pembily · 24-03-2012 1:43am

snafuk35 wrote: »

boomtown123 wrote: »

This happened me...he approached me, asked me for my number. said he would text...NO TEXT.

Weird! Like why bother? :rolleyes:

Maybe he met someone else? I often get a half dozen or more number on a Saturday afternoon and then of that number at least one or two dates lined up for the week. A guy can get laid once or twice a week and that works out at last 50 to 100 women a year.
Warren Beatty the famous actor is believed to have bedded 30,000+ women over a three decade period which works out at roughly 3 women a day.
In the book Hollywood Hellraisers he used to target women everywhere he went - whether it was his co-stars or girls who were chambermaids or waitresses or barmaids or girls he exchanged numbers with on the street.

Statistics show that the average man has sex with only 9 women.
I pity them!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationships/sexual-health-and-advice/8958520/Average-man-has-9-sexual-partners-in-lifetime-women-have-4.html

Dude, seriously!! :rolleyes:

Boomtown he could have chickened out! Coffee does not equal sex...

Rowanvella199 · 24-03-2012 1:48am

I did it once while drunk, we swapped numbers and arranged a date and all... Im a man of my word (however drunken that word may be) and after two minutes the first thought that went through my head was what the hell was i thinking! I think it would be cool if it was somthing that happened more often though, as i think people in this country are very stuck in there ways, I sure think its a better way of meeting someone that in a club drunk! Which is far more common in this country!

Galvasean · 24-03-2012 2:12am

Cant move in my local book shop these days. Kip is full of PUAs :rolleyes:
they see me stroll in, catch a glimpse of the gruaig, turn, "Damn it's a bloke", and go back to pretending to browse.

KyussBishop · 24-03-2012 5:09am

snafuk35 wrote: »

Maybe he met someone else? I often get a half dozen or more number on a Saturday afternoon and then of that number at least one or two dates lined up for the week. A guy can get laid once or twice a week and that works out at last 50 to 100 women a year.
Warren Beatty the famous actor is believed to have bedded 30,000+ women over a three decade period which works out at roughly 3 women a day.
In the book Hollywood Hellraisers he used to target women everywhere he went - whether it was his co-stars or girls who were chambermaids or waitresses or barmaids or girls he exchanged numbers with on the street.

Statistics show that the average man has sex with only 9 women.
I pity them!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationships/sexual-health-and-advice/8958520/Average-man-has-9-sexual-partners-in-lifetime-women-have-4.html

lol; while there's nothing wrong with NSA stuff, if all that a person aspires to with the opposite sex, is notches on a bedpost for the sake of bragging numbers (and with a ridiculous role model of 30,000 partners), it kind of reveals a sadly warped view of the opposite sex.

Giselle · 24-03-2012 10:03am

snafuk35 wrote: »

Maybe he met someone else? I often get a half dozen or more number on a Saturday afternoon and then of that number at least one or two dates lined up for the week. A guy can get laid once or twice a week and that works out at last 50 to 100 women a year.
Warren Beatty the famous actor is believed to have bedded 30,000+ women over a three decade period which works out at roughly 3 women a day.
In the book Hollywood Hellraisers he used to target women everywhere he went - whether it was his co-stars or girls who were chambermaids or waitresses or barmaids or girls he exchanged numbers with on the street.

Statistics show that the average man has sex with only 9 women.
I pity them!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationships/sexual-health-and-advice/8958520/Average-man-has-9-sexual-partners-in-lifetime-women-have-4.html

There it is. The sad moment when talk of meeting girls turns into 'targeting' women everywhere for sex.

Maybe thats why the street approach is generally unwelcome in Ireland.

snafuk35 · 24-03-2012 11:44am

Giselle wrote: »

There it is. The sad moment when talk of meeting girls turns into 'targeting' women everywhere for sex.

Maybe thats why the street approach is generally unwelcome in Ireland.

Do I detect a hint of jealousy?

snafuk35 · 24-03-2012 11:46am

Giselle wrote: »

There it is. The sad moment when talk of meeting girls turns into 'targeting' women everywhere for sex.

Maybe thats why the street approach is generally unwelcome in Ireland.

Sad? Sometimes I weep in the arms of my women. Yeah.

24-03-2012 11:47am

i talk to people randomly in bookshops if they're picking up a good book i can recommend, once on the bus about a WoT book
it's never intended as a pick up though
but still, talking to strangers isn't that hard

guitarzero · 24-03-2012 11:59am

Giselle wrote: »

There it is. The sad moment when talk of meeting girls turns into 'targeting' women everywhere for sex.

Maybe thats why the street approach is generally unwelcome in Ireland.

I know! Wait, erm, whats wrong with sex??

G-Money · 24-03-2012 12:07pm

I can sort of see this being weird in my own head if I was approaching a girl solely for the purpose of getting her number. I'd say these things are more successful if you see someone you fancy and get chatting to them with no absolute goal you have to reach at the end. I think it would be better to say to yourself "I fancy her, I think I'll go say hello and see how it goes" with no specific aim in mind other than getting to know her a bit rather than "I fancy her, I'll go see if I can get her number". I think the latter ratchets up the pressure on you and perhaps makes it come across like that is your only goal.

I know if some random girl approached me in the street and wanted my number straight away I'd probably be completely weirded out by it. It probably wouldn't matter if she was super hot, I'd be thinking "This is a wind-up or something". But if we were chatting for a while, nice and relaxed then it would probably seem quite natural.

In my head anyway, I think it's how you categorise the whole thing in your head. If you are thinking "I'm going to try and get her number" it just puts pressure on and perhaps that can manifest itself in your body language and whatnot and put someone off. Probably better to go approach, say hello and just aim to have a chat. You might not even like them once you get talking to them and if you do, well you can still chat away and try for the number a bit later.

Anyway, just my thoughts, I'm probably too chicken to ever put any of it into practice haha.

Besides, women say they want to be considered equal etc. I say us men just put our feet up and stop approaching and let them do the leg work for a change :cool:

sunssocks · 24-03-2012 12:30pm

and then tell her that you lied and that you really want to drink a cup of tea with her and get to know her. And now be special. Tell her you will place an ad in the local paper to invite her, with a funny but cute codeword like sunsocks. tell her, when she is interested she can give you her email in this way. the surprise will be with you and later she has time to think about you

if she likes you it will work.
1. you just ask for the time, you dont emberass
2. you are honest, you say ou lied because you liked her and want to get toknow her
3. you prove that you are seriously interested and loveable crazy becuse you take a difficult, unusual way

24-03-2012 12:33pm

sunssocks wrote: »

Tell her you will place an ad in the local paper to invite her, with a funny but cute codeword like sunsocks.

sure, if you want to completely freak her out

Otis Driftwood · 24-03-2012 3:01pm

snafuk35 wrote: »

Do I detect a hint of jealousy?

Dont post in this thread again as its my opinion that you are nothing but a troll.

Jesus Wept · 24-03-2012 8:03pm

sunssocks wrote: »

and then tell her that you lied and that you really want to drink a cup of tea with her and get to know her. And now be special. Tell her you will place an ad in the local paper to invite her, with a funny but cute codeword like sunsocks. tell her, when she is interested she can give you her email in this way. the surprise will be with you and later she has time to think about you

if she likes you it will work.
1. you just ask for the time, you dont emberass
2. you are honest, you say ou lied because you liked her and want to get toknow her
3. you prove that you are seriously interested and loveable crazy becuse you take a difficult, unusual way

Teach me your ways.

tis a fine line · 25-03-2012 8:52am

I would be flattered if a man approached me in the street, or anywhere for that matter...

(provided it was done tactfully of course)

I dunno if it's just me, but no men are asking me anything, anywhere!

I've been told i'm good looking, and i do get out & about...

but nothing. I'm beginning to think this online dating/sex business is to blame...

Men don't have to bother anymore

mood · 25-03-2012 1:30pm

MrStuffins wrote: »

Well this is the thing isn't it? A lot of irish girls seem to think they're above guys talking to them and such and a lot of them (not all of them of course) have a very skewed view of things!

Girl: "Hey, you know that good looking guy? Well I got his number and I rang him last night at 3am on a private number and just kept quiet! When he answered it sounded like he was alone so he must be single! But i wasn't sure so I found out where he lived and went around to his house to see if there was more than one car outside but there wasn't!

So then I found out where he worked and turned up outside his job as he left to try and strike up a conversation with him but I missed him. Perhaps i'll just send him some anonymous texts and see if he'd be interested in me!

Friend: "Oh my God, that's so clever! He'd be crazy not to go out with you anyway, that's so romantic"

Girl: "Yeah i know. Oh, and you'll never guess what happened today. You know that ugly guy who fancies me? Well......... He said HELLO to me today as I walked past him"

Friend: "OH MY GOD!!!! WHAT A STALKER!!!!!!!!"

WTF is this??? Is making up a CRAZY conversation meant to prove something? I've never had any conversation like that with any girl or guy for that matter!

MrStuffins · 25-03-2012 3:17pm

mood wrote: »

MrStuffins wrote: »

Well this is the thing isn't it? A lot of irish girls seem to think they're above guys talking to them and such and a lot of them (not all of them of course) have a very skewed view of things!

Girl: "Hey, you know that good looking guy? Well I got his number and I rang him last night at 3am on a private number and just kept quiet! When he answered it sounded like he was alone so he must be single! But i wasn't sure so I found out where he lived and went around to his house to see if there was more than one car outside but there wasn't!

So then I found out where he worked and turned up outside his job as he left to try and strike up a conversation with him but I missed him. Perhaps i'll just send him some anonymous texts and see if he'd be interested in me!

Friend: "Oh my God, that's so clever! He'd be crazy not to go out with you anyway, that's so romantic"

Girl: "Yeah i know. Oh, and you'll never guess what happened today. You know that ugly guy who fancies me? Well......... He said HELLO to me today as I walked past him"

Friend: "OH MY GOD!!!! WHAT A STALKER!!!!!!!!"

WTF is this??? Is making up a CRAZY conversation meant to prove something? I've never had any conversation like that with any girl or guy for that matter!

Good for you! But the sum of your personal experiences don't equal what exists in the greater world

jaffacakesyum · 25-03-2012 3:54pm

MrStuffins wrote: »

Good for you! But the sum of your personal experiences don't equal what exists in the greater world

Have you ever actually heard any conversation by a girl remotely as you have described?

I really doubt it.

MrStuffins · 25-03-2012 4:28pm

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

MrStuffins wrote: »

Good for you! But the sum of your personal experiences don't equal what exists in the greater world

Have you ever actually heard any conversation by a girl remotely as you have described?

I really doubt it.

As I've already stated, the "conversation" is exaggerated, but its still based on actual experience and general sentiment.

So yes, I have heard conversations like this

Galvasean · 25-03-2012 7:06pm

tis a fine line wrote: »

but nothing. I'm beginning to think this online dating/sex business is to blame...

Men don't have to bother anymore

*glances over at the online dating thread*

Oh we have to bother alright...

Phat Cat · 25-03-2012 7:43pm

tis a fine line wrote: »

Men don't have to bother anymore

Well then it's about time that women started to take the initiative then isn't it?

Approaching a Girl in the Street

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