Absent Fathers

metrovelvet wrote: »

Ok if that is the case then one cant turn around and request facilitation or support if they don't want interference. Seperate is seperate.

Ideally in the case of children of parents who are apart, cooperation is preferable and in itself is a separate relationship and should be treated as such. After all, both parents have separate relationships with the child and love it, so makes sense that they would do this.

Of course, if the choice is between a negative involvement by the custodial parent, in the relationship with the non-custodial one, and no involvement, then the latter is preferable.

I don't think you would think it was ok for R and J to ask for the inlaws to pay for the wedding or babysit the kids.

No I wouldn't. But neither do I think that they should have made it all about their own wishes, to the point that they killed the one's they loved.

metrovelvet wrote: »

You cant say its separate and then say its not separate when its convenient.

I'm not. My relationship with a friend is with that friend alone. However, if he has a wife or girlfriend, her relationship with me will naturally become an influence, for good or ill. But ultimately that is a separate relationship and that influence is imposed on a relationship that is not her own. And if she splits with my friend, my relationship with him will still remain - and this is the proof that it is separate.

Suggesting, as you appear to be, that a father's relationship with his child is a three-way thing is such an imposition; a demand that it should be about her and not about the father or his child. And that, with all due respects, is quite selfish.