Approaching a Girl in the Street

shrewd · 11-03-2012 11:32pm

Bad Panda wrote: »

There should be more 'girls approaching guys in the street' threads.

this often happens to me on night outs and paddys day, back then in my teenage years. i always wear or do something interesting that catches their attention.

hollypink · 12-03-2012 10:23am

I can't really think of any time someone has approached me on the street (apart from chuggers :mad:) but although I don't like to admit it, I don't think I'd react very positively. I'd probably decline as politely as I could. It's a pity really but unlike say the States, it's outside the conventional norm here. Generally people who speak to me in the street are either looking for money, directions or to invite me to a prayer meeting/psychological test.

I have chatted with strangers on trains/buses/planes, never asked out by any of them though.

As for 'girls approaching guys on the street', I really wouldn't have the courage/bravado for that. I'd admire any girl who did though!

Giselle · 13-03-2012 4:01pm

Theres quite a few wistful remembrances of 'girls/guys that you wished you'd taken the chance' on in this thread.

Theres a moral there.

Logical Fallacy · 13-03-2012 5:26pm

For a couple of years I used to do this quite a bit, see a girl i thought was hot and just approach her regardless of the location. On the Luas, strolling down the road, in the bank. Never really got a bad response and ended up getting more than a few dates with said ladies.

It's well worth doing but I'd suggest a degree of confidence before hand...getting shot down in a public forum can be tough...unless you're me...because to be honest I have no shame.

Or dignity.

Red Hand · 13-03-2012 5:31pm

Giselle wrote: »

Theres quite a few wistful remembrances of 'girls/guys that you wished you'd taken the chance' on in this thread.

Theres a moral there.

Don't ever do it and die alone. That's what I learned from it:pac:

Galway K9 · 13-03-2012 5:35pm

When i was younger, i asked a random girl to shift (kiss) me and she did. Granted we were only 14.

Giselle · 13-03-2012 6:13pm

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

For a couple of years I used to do this quite a bit, see a girl i thought was hot and just approach her regardless of the location. On the Luas, strolling down the road, in the bank. Never really got a bad response and ended up getting more than a few dates with said ladies.

It's well worth doing but I'd suggest a degree of confidence before hand...getting shot down in a public forum can be tough...unless you're me...because to be honest I have no shame.

Or dignity.

Or modesty

Nesie · 13-03-2012 11:17pm

Pembily wrote: »

Realistically not! Also I will be in my cycling gear :rolleyes:

I was out cycling on saturday and stopped to get food on two different occasions. got chatted up both times. hilarious. chatted away but politely left

Atomicjuicer · 13-03-2012 11:19pm

Reminds me of a time I was in a spar in Dublin city centre getting a roll. I noticed the sandwich maker had a strange but interesting looking necklace. I wasn't hitting on her at all when I said something along the lines of "that's a nice necklace". I was just giving someone a little compliment.

"My ***BOYFRIEND*** gave it to me."

Okey doke then!

Galvasean · 13-03-2012 11:22pm

I was thinking about this thread and I don't think I'll ever approach someone in the street like that since I myself despise when random people approach me in the street (junkies, hobos, chuggers, assorted scumbags looking for a fight, people protesting things, religious wackos, leaflets for things I'm not interested in, surveys, selling stuff...). I think I'm preprogrammed to escape post haste when someone approaches me in the street and imagine others by n' large would not appreciate it (do unto others and whatnot). I think the potential to annoy somebody outweighs the chances of something good coming from it an I'd hate to be in the same bracket of that list of characters I mentioned.

Logical Fallacy · 15-03-2012 2:21am

Giselle wrote: »

Or modesty

Modesty is a heavy shackle.

I know what i'm good at, i know what i'm bad at.

Confidence in combination with realism is the key.:D

pappyodaniel · 15-03-2012 2:39am

It would be nice if I had the confidence to approach a girl on the street and ask her out, but more than likely my legs would turn to jelly and I'd blurt out something along the lines of
"Excuses me nice girl but would you liking to drink me in the pub, hujsid ldfjhgb no dfvjhb qt3hfd....
sorry to bother you"

CarlsBurg · 15-03-2012 2:50am

The whole approaching a girl cold is quite an odd thing.

Many women feel that if a man approaches them in a gym, shop, library or what ever. The man is automatically 'weird' or the aspect of getting to know him would be 'weird' ... But yet if the scenario was changed to a pub its perfectly normal if a man approached them

I just don't get it.
Especially knowing many a woman has said "I am sick of meeting drunken fools in pubs"

But te alternative is out of the question completely

guitarzero · 15-03-2012 3:31am

I've considered just walking up to a woman on the street a few times but have always coward out and having read this thread, for good reason.

Form what I've gathered its all about "the norm" for Irish women. If its not the norm then you are a potential nutjob/killer. Are women happy with whats the norm? Do they enjoy the mundaneness of whats normal?

jill_valentine · 15-03-2012 4:06am

guitarzero wrote: »

I've considered just walking up to a woman on the street a few times but have always coward out and having read this thread, for good reason.

Form what I've gathered its all about "the norm" for Irish women. If its not the norm then you are a potential nutjob/killer. Are women happy with whats the norm? Do they enjoy the mundaneness of whats normal?

You guys might be surprised how often girls are cold approached in Ireland, even though it's not the "norm".

My issue is that every time I've been approached in the street, the dude was a tool. It's not so much about the norm, as opposed to the by-now deeply ingrained sense that such an approach is not going to mark an enjoyable encounter for me. It's going to result in another creep trying to follow me, another douche who doesn't take the hint, another deeply inappropriate and uncomfortable conversation from a weirdo etc. I've had all of those things more than once, so believe me, I'm not being somebody's hysterical mammy about this stuff.

I'm not easily rattled, and I'm pretty confident in myself, so I've never felt unsafe in Dublin. But all the same, that's a lot more hassle than I want to have to deal with on my way home after a long day's work.

Funny enough, being hit on by strangers in my workplace itself, or any kind of "static" situation, that's fine. But there's something about bothering me when I'm just trying to go from A to B that seems different, and I don't like it.

All that said - if somebody basically just handed me their name and number or even email address, said howaya, maybe a good line, and then paddled off on their way, yeah, that might be a winner. That's just not the scenario the thread calls to mind, in the main.

beks101 · 15-03-2012 4:55am

I think if it's a situation where you can establish a bit of rapport with the lady, you're in a far better position to get somewhere. There's little potential for that on the street, where most people are rushing somewhere and have their guard up to strangers because of the typical cold approachers being chuggers/junkies/beggars etc.

If you can open a conversation about something obvious that's happening around you - the music, how slow the queue is moving, the book she's reading, how crap the weather is etc - and build it from there, most women will feel more at ease and be open to you taking it a step further.

I think the best experience I've had of this was years back in a music store. I needed help getting a certain type of music for a relative of mine and the sales assistant dude was really helpful. After I had paid and I was about to leave he just said 'well I'm starving after that! Will we get some food?' I was a bit taken aback, but because we'd been chatting for a good while I knew he wasn't some weirdo and I thought 'what the hell'. We ended up spending the day together

Giruilla · 15-03-2012 3:02pm

I think the hardest part about chatting a girl up on the street is not knowing if she's single or not. If she isn't, nothings going to happen no matter how well you do. The chances of a girl in a bar being single are significantly higher, so percentage and effort wise its easier to do it there.

Seomra Mushie · 15-03-2012 3:16pm

beks101 wrote: »

I think the best experience I've had of this was years back in a music store. I needed help getting a certain type of music for a relative of mine and the sales assistant dude was really helpful. After I had paid and I was about to leave he just said 'well I'm starving after that! Will we get some food?' I was a bit taken aback, but because we'd been chatting for a good while I knew he wasn't some weirdo and I thought 'what the hell'. We ended up spending the day together

Awwww, I reckon he was super helpful because he liked what he saw.

ihsb · 15-03-2012 3:39pm

Giruilla wrote: »

I think the hardest part about chatting a girl up on the street is not knowing if she's single or not. If she isn't, nothings going to happen no matter how well you do. The chances of a girl in a bar being single are significantly higher, so percentage and effort wise its easier to do it there.

Of course, because only single girls go do bars

Giselle · 15-03-2012 3:55pm

ihsb wrote: »

Of course, because only single girls go do bars

They're probably more likely to be single if they're out in a bar without a boyfriend. Not guarenteed, but more likely.

Giruilla · 15-03-2012 3:59pm

Giruilla wrote: »

I think the hardest part about chatting a girl up on the street is not knowing if she's single or not. If she isn't, nothings going to happen no matter how well you do. The chances of a girl in a bar being single are significantly higher, so percentage and effort wise its easier to do it there.

ihsb wrote: »

Of course, because only single girls go do bars

ihsb · 15-03-2012 4:49pm

Giselle wrote: »

They're probably more likely to be single if they're out in a bar without a boyfriend. Not guarenteed, but more likely.

Lies!:p

listermint · 15-03-2012 5:02pm

This happened to me before a number of years back when i was working as a field service engineer. Went over to the girl behind the counter to get my docket signed off.

She signed it and i gave her the carbon copy,

'this is missing your number' she said.

'Ermm i dont think the other half would let me get away with handing out my number' < me

'Ah sure i wont tell her'

'ehhh got to go more calls to make'

Id get some bate around the head if she saw that.

HavingCrack · 15-03-2012 11:11pm

When I was working in a fast food place in the States I used to constantly chatted up by girls when they found out I was Irish, got 5 numbers in a shift once :eek: and never really had to say very much. Really nice experience, awful pity I had to come back to Ireland, never reached those heights since :mad:.

snafuk35 · 15-03-2012 11:24pm

Atomicjuicer wrote: »

Reminds me of a time I was in a spar in Dublin city centre getting a roll. I noticed the sandwich maker had a strange but interesting looking necklace. I wasn't hitting on her at all when I said something along the lines of "that's a nice necklace". I was just giving someone a little compliment.

"My ***BOYFRIEND*** gave it to me."

Okey doke then!

Girls will often say they have a boyfriend if they don't have one.
Don't fall at the first fence and give up straight away?

awec · 15-03-2012 11:28pm

This post has been deleted.

mikemac1 · 15-03-2012 11:28pm

Some gorgeous guy approached me on the street and asked me out, wow

Some average looking/ugly guy approached me on the street and asked me out, what a weirdo and creep

Though the man said the exact same thing

snafuk35 · 15-03-2012 11:30pm

I used to go into bookshops in Dublin all the time.
You can't go wrong because it's the last place a girl will expect a guy to chat her up - the conversation is going to be about books so it can lead anywhere and there are sure to plenty of coffee shops to go to. You can be sure the girl is on her break or loafing with nothing to do so an instant date is on the cards.

tiredcity · 16-03-2012 12:09am

It never happens usually but got stopped twice on the street in one weekend recently which was bizzare. I'm in a long standing and happy relationship but it was still a nice ego boost! Have no idea why it happened, wasn't dressed provocatively or looking any differently to usual. First guy I was slightly alarmed by 'cause he kind of pounced on me out of the blue and wasn't expecting it at all so was a bit weirded out. Felt guilty afterwards 'cause having asked out a stranger myself years ago, I know it takes a fair bit of balls and I should have been more polite in making my excuses. Second guy was a bit less "BOOM!" in your face so actually had a chat and explained that I'd a boyfriend and it was all very proper and grown up. Both were good looking and seemed pleasant so had I been single, I'd have probably have gone on a date with them simply for having the guts to approach you outside of the stereotypical 2am pissed in a bar scenario.

I've non-Irish friends who get really irritated that here you can't really spontaneously get chatting to a stranger of the opposite sex without assumptions being made that one or other of you is trying it on. That may be the case in some circumstances but it can be pretty frustrating when you feel you do have to drop in your relationship status pretty promptly in order to not be wasting someone's time if that is what their original intention for talking to you is. You can't win because if they are actually just looking for a friendly chat you seem like a cocky, self-obsessed wagon but if they're not, you're at risk of being labelled all sorts for not telling them sooner.

It's a tricky one but jill_valentine's right. Be friendly, funny but non-intrusive and I think most people would be flattered at the least!

snafuk35 · 16-03-2012 12:32am

awec wrote: »

Does that chasing after a girl even when she rejects you work outside of the movies?

Come back to the real world pal. In the real world women will try to fob you off whether they are interested or not. If you are too scared of rejection nothing is ever going to happen. Ever.

awec · 16-03-2012 12:34am

This post has been deleted.

MrStuffins · 16-03-2012 12:57am

HavingCrack wrote: »

got 5 numbers in a shift once :eek:.

wow, you were getting the shift and STILL getting numbers?

PLAYYAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! :pac:

Fungums · 16-03-2012 5:01pm

hey, i know a guy who was in supermacs in tuam one day, there had been a gaa match and the place was packed. he asked a woman(who was sitting on her own) if he could sit beside her as there was no free seats. anyways they are about 6 months married now. moral of the story yeah it can happen here

Atomicjuicer · 16-03-2012 6:10pm

snafuk35 wrote: »

Girls will often say they have a boyfriend if they don't have one.
Don't fall at the first fence and give up straight away?

I honestly was just being nice. She was overly defensive. Maybe she got hit on a lot in that sandwich bar or something.

snafuk35 · 16-03-2012 8:40pm

Atomicjuicer wrote: »

I honestly was just being nice. She was overly defensive. Maybe she got hit on a lot in that sandwich bar or something.

Yeah you have to be able to overcome that.

Samich · 17-03-2012 12:49am

Fungums wrote: »

hey, i know a guy who was in supermacs in tuam one day, there had been a gaa match and the place was packed. he asked a woman(who was sitting on her own) if he could sit beside her as there was no free seats. anyways they are about 6 months married now. moral of the story yeah it can happen here

Probably brother and sister :P Only joking :P

CarlsBurg · 17-03-2012 1:03am

snafuk35 wrote: »

Girls will often say they have a boyfriend if they don't have one.
Don't fall at the first fence and give up straight away?

I believe when you ask a girl out and she says she has a boyfriend... thats it, move on.

Its usually (A,) its an excuse as she is not interested or (B,) she generally has a boyfriend. One of the other. The whole "playing hard to get" doesnt happen that much in the real world. Unless we bring teases or head-wreckers into the equation.

Atomicjuicer · 17-03-2012 1:07am

snafuk35 wrote: »

Yeah you have to be able to overcome that.

Seems she's not the only one who thought I was hitting on her. Seems you can't just be friendly to the opposite sex these days!

CarlsBurg · 17-03-2012 1:18am

Atomicjuicer wrote: »

Seems she's not the only one who thought I was hitting on her. Seems you can't just be friendly to the opposite sex these days!

Yeah,
I know what you mean, man. Think it just comes down to the mentality of the girl.. and to a certain degree, the age.

I've seen so many 18-23ish year olds just instantly assume a guy is flirting with them if you talk to them in a 'cold' situation. But of course its illregardless of age too. Just depends of the mentality.

It can be very annoying. Like you are just being friendly, nothing in it. I know a bloke who was talking to a girl working in a newsagents once. Just being friendly. He was met with "WHY are you talking to me?" :rolleyes:

17-03-2012 2:49pm

I might actually try and do it this week.. if I have the guts. Probably won't though.

dellas1979 · 18-03-2012 9:17pm

You should defo go for it!
If you get shot down, so what? On to the next one.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained and all that jazz.

dandelionmind · 19-03-2012 12:20pm

This has happened me a few times in Dublin. Each time, I was quite embarrassed and caught off guard, because as people have said, it's not the done thing here.

I was coming out of Chapter's bookstore in town about a year ago when a guy who'd been standing opposite me in a queue approached me. He asked what time it was, even though he was wearing a watch :pac: then started up a conversation about the books we'd both bought.
After a few minutes, he asked me to go for a drink with him. I was fairly hesitant, as I had loads of bags with me and didn't know him, but he was confident enough to convince me to go with him.

We had a few drinks, chatted and it was a fun, if slightly unexpected way, to spend an hour or two. Nothing came of it, because towards the end, he became quite pushy about hooking up etc which I didn't like, so I called it quits and went home.

However, I do respect people who have the courage to approach others and strike up a conversation, or ask them out. That definitely takes guts! Sure, sometimes they could turn out to be "weirdos" but perhaps some of them are just genuine guys or girls taking some initiative and defying the 'I-have-to-be-drunk-to-make-conversation-with-you' idea.

19-03-2012 12:33pm

So it seems a bookstore is the best place to do this then?

karaokeman · 19-03-2012 2:00pm

Deleted User wrote: »

So it seems a bookstore is the best place to do this then?

Don't get your hopes up.

If you're going simply to get a woman it won't happen.

19-03-2012 2:10pm

karaokeman wrote: »

Don't get your hopes up.

If you're going simply to get a woman it won't happen.

Ah no, it would mostly be just an experiment to see what would happen.

dellas1979 · 19-03-2012 3:10pm

Most experiments have a control.

The experiment is probably more how you approach them/strike up a conversation (i.e try one way and if that doesnt work try a different approach). The experiment shouldnt be about what their reaction will be-that is not under your control.

snafuk35 · 19-03-2012 5:01pm

dandelionmind wrote: »

This has happened me a few times in Dublin. Each time, I was quite embarrassed and caught off guard, because as people have said, it's not the done thing here.

I was coming out of Chapter's bookstore in town about a year ago when a guy who'd been standing opposite me in a queue approached me. He asked what time it was, even though he was wearing a watch :pac: then started up a conversation about the books we'd both bought.
After a few minutes, he asked me to go for a drink with him. I was fairly hesitant, as I had loads of bags with me and didn't know him, but he was confident enough to convince me to go with him.

We had a few drinks, chatted and it was a fun, if slightly unexpected way, to spend an hour or two. Nothing came of it, because towards the end, he became quite pushy about hooking up etc which I didn't like, so I called it quits and went home.

However, I do respect people who have the courage to approach others and strike up a conversation, or ask them out. That definitely takes guts! Sure, sometimes they could turn out to be "weirdos" but perhaps some of them are just genuine guys or girls taking some initiative and defying the 'I-have-to-be-drunk-to-make-conversation-with-you' idea.

Chapters is one of my haunts!:D Better than coppers.

Feeona · 19-03-2012 7:59pm

I think bookshops and the like are definitely the way to go. When there's some common ground, the person you're talking to is more likely to feel comfortable.

Some tips though. If you're chatting up someone in a book shop
1. make sure you're not carrying a self help book
2. or 'The Joy of Sex' book
3. or Mein Kampf

Do
1. carry a cook/gardening/DIY book, very generic plus it makes you look self sufficient and on the ball!

snafuk35 · 19-03-2012 8:27pm

Feeona wrote: »

I think bookshops and the like are definitely the way to go. When there's some common ground, the person you're talking to is more likely to feel comfortable.

Some tips though. If you're chatting up someone in a book shop
1. make sure you're not carrying a self help book
2. or 'The Joy of Sex' book
3. or Mein Kampf

Do
1. carry a cook/gardening/DIY book, very generic plus it makes you look self sufficient and on the ball!

But if too many men are turning up in bookshops then women are going to cotton to what's happening! Ssh! Don't tell the dopes who don't read about this goldmine approach! They will ruin everything!:D

superstoner90 · 19-03-2012 8:46pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Ah no, it would mostly be just an experiment to see what would happen.

If or when you introduce yourself to a woman, for god sake dont say you name is boneyaresbogman. :pac:

Approaching a Girl in the Street

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