Rural Living & Teenagers

dahamsta · 20-02-2012 7:03pm

Ah, I thought you mean bicycle training. I always walk on the correct side like grindelwald, it wouldn't make sense to me not too; and I'm a city boy originally.

TBH I think the only cars that are /that/ quiet are electrics, and they're: a) few and far between; and b) have to have noise added artificially these days. All depends on the roads though, there's roads around here I wouldn't walk or cycle on either.

Cyclists are the same, I saw a woman and a man with two young kids on bikes on a busy mid-sized country road recently, not only were they two abreast the first time I passed them, when I was returning it was dark. That's just crazy like.

I think some of the comments above are a bit OTT btw. Nobody suggested that kids should cycle tens of miles to school every day, just that kids should be ejected out onto the bikes every now and then, particularly if their friends are only a couple of miles up the road.

newmug · 20-02-2012 10:56pm

grindelwald wrote: »

He will still need someone in the car with him, who holds a full licence. My guesses that will be you.

Legally, yes. Realistically, out in the middle of the country, nobody does that. NOT condoning it, but that law has always been there, and its hardly ever been enforced.

Noffles wrote: »

But this is not the "good old days" I see cycling is more of a keeping fit or commuting method rather than a form of transport to rely on..

I don't think it's feasible to ask a 16 year old to cycle anywhere further than 3 or 4k if it is in the evening or late at night... the roads aren't that safe, no matter who says so.. and no matter how many refective items you wear. If they want to see their mates, they don't want to cycle 12k to get there, covered in sweat and grime simply to hang around for a few hours and then do the same back. No one would...

You sound like a townie who just moved to the country!

up for anything · 20-02-2012 11:53pm

Somehow I think I'd prefer providing the taxi service than lying awake at home waiting to hear their car pull up outside the house.

deisemum · 21-02-2012 1:34am

It's one thing to cycle in the countryside on a bright summer evening but a lot of the narrow roads particularly those where only 1 vehicle can drive are dangerous especially in winter when it's wet and the roads are covered in cow ****e and mud from tractors that are wider now than years ago that knock the soil from the ditch out onto the road or where they've come out of a field and dragged it out onto the road.

Noffles · 21-02-2012 2:12pm

newmug wrote: »

Legally, yes. Realistically, out in the middle of the country, nobody does that. NOT condoning it, but that law has always been there, and its hardly ever been enforced.

You sound like a townie who just moved to the country!

A "townie"...?

Personlly I think I sound like someone who like his son, thinks that a 12k cycle is too much to ask, if you want to stay clean and presentable and not have to do it all again a few hours later... in the dark, on rural roads that have not a single light on them...

hattoncracker · 23-02-2012 12:21pm

newmug wrote: »

Legally, yes. Realistically, out in the middle of the country, nobody does that. NOT condoning it, but that law has always been there, and its hardly ever been enforced.

Maybe not, but before you let him behind the wheel of the car by himself, you need to make sure that your insurance policy will cover him if he has an accident while driving unaccompanied. Some of them don't.

nd be willing to pay the €1,000 fine if he's caught, and the other €1,000 fine if he's not using L plates when he's caught.

Dickie10 · 22-10-2015 10:44pm

sorry this is an old thread but i do a bit of teaching with teens and im just wondering if theres a link between rural teens and urban teens and how streetwise or innocent they are?

i would be of the opinion that rural teens are far more streetwise than the urban ones, they seem very good at holding a conversation with people who are say 25,35,45,65 than urban teens, like they can chat about weather, neighbours,sport etc very easily and willingly where as i see a lot of urban teens would look at some one with ten heads if they struck up a chat with them in a shop or street they also seem to be more intune with real world matters, local and international such as weather, politics or just current affairs i see a trait in urban teens where all they want is their own age group talking to them and only airy ,fairy talk.

one thing i do notice in urban areas is teenagers actually reading the local paper and daily papers they actually fight over it sometimes in the school, mostly for sports news, i think this is a great trait. one theory i have is that the smaller popoulation forces them to interact more with older people and peple from all walks of life, just wondering what other opions are ooon this......... and no im not an ENGLISH teacher!!!

wintersolstice · 27-02-2016 12:04am

Raising children and teens in a rural area is the cruellest thing you can do to them.its lonely and boring and I regret every day that I am putting my children through it.i have no choice but to stay here as I can't afford to move back to civilisation.as a blow in I feel isolated and everybody around seems to be related to each other. Don't ever bring your children up in a rural area, it's truly awful

Irish_Elect_Eng · 28-02-2016 4:51pm

wintersolstice wrote: »

Raising children and teens in a rural area is the cruellest thing you can do to them.its lonely and boring and I regret every day that I am putting my children through it.i have no choice but to stay here as I can't afford to move back to civilisation.as a blow in I feel isolated and everybody around seems to be related to each other. Don't ever bring your children up in a rural area, it's truly awful

Wow... You seem to have had a bad experience.

Children are very flexible and adapt to their environments, urban or rural there are different benefits and challenges for kids in each case. I won't get into the discussion about which is better, they are just different.

You may feel isolated in the countryside, but when kids move to the countryside they have more links to their communities than adults do. Particularly when the adults work and socialize in a nearby town or city.

School, clubs, sports and other activities have kids interacting with their peers, much more than adults that move to the countryside. I remember a neighbor, a blow-in :-) from England telling me that in the early years living in a rural area he relied on his young kids to remind him who the neighbors were, where their houses were and what cars they drove.

I myself moved from a city to the countryside, but have the advantage of being married to a beautiful county lass which helps a lot with integration. I had many challenges, but it was not until I actively became part of the community, helping at the GAA club, Parents Council at the school, Etc. that I could let go of what I previously enjoyed and com to enjoy the country life.

To make the situation improve for your family, I would advice making the best of it, get involved, get your kids involved, and please believe me, rural people seeing new people making an effort to become part of their community are very welcoming.

syklops · 29-02-2016 11:24am

wintersolstice wrote: »

Raising children and teens in a rural area is the cruellest thing you can do to them.its lonely and boring and I regret every day that I am putting my children through it.i have no choice but to stay here as I can't afford to move back to civilisation.as a blow in I feel isolated and everybody around seems to be related to each other. Don't ever bring your children up in a rural area, it's truly awful

Everything you say is true to a point. I grew up in the 80s/90s.

Was a blown in - check
Everyone around me was related to everyone else - check
Lonely - check
Was boring - check, though once we got internet I was never bored again.

That said, looking back there are advantages. Considering the few friends I had during much of my childhood, the one thing worse than being in a remote location would have been living somewhere where people you dont like or get on with are around you all the time. Getting picked on in school is bad enough, but potentially getting picked on every time you leave the house would have been so much worse.

The first two points could happen in a town or city. Like so many things in life, the grass is often greener.

Between Sky television and Broadband, two home comforts available in 99% of the island, rural living has become much more comfortable. I moved to a city when I was 18 and have lived in cities or suburbia ever since, but Im genuinely looking forward to buying my house in the country.

I remember my mothers friend who lived in an estate in Dublin somewhere expressing her jealousy at our remote location. She said from practically the minute her daughter hit the age of 13, she got a full time job of chasing boys away from the door.

So its not all black and white.

Ms2011 · 29-02-2016 5:10pm

wintersolstice wrote: »

Raising children and teens in a rural area is the cruellest thing you can do to them.its lonely and boring and I regret every day that I am putting my children through it.i have no choice but to stay here as I can't afford to move back to civilisation.as a blow in I feel isolated and everybody around seems to be related to each other. Don't ever bring your children up in a rural area, it's truly awful

As someone who is moving to a rural village next year with a 5 & 2 year old this scares the bejayus out of me

Lucyfur · 29-02-2016 10:08pm

Ms2011 wrote: »

As someone who is moving to a rural village next year with a 5 & 2 year old this scares the bejayus out of me

I'm raising a teenager in the countryside. He loves it. He loved it when he was 2 and at 5 too! We've a massive garden, he can cycle to friends houses. He goes to a country school so most of his peers are country dwellers. The school is small so he gets much more support. He goes to guitar lessons, coder dojo and is a member of an adventure group. The only time he's ''bored'' is when he's being a cranky teenager

.

I know it's not for everyone but I wouldn't have it any other way

Ms2011 · 29-02-2016 10:18pm

Lucyfur wrote: »

I'm raising a teenager in the countryside. He loves it. He loved it when he was 2 and at 5 too! We've a massive garden, he can cycle to friends houses. He goes to a country school so most of his peers are country dwellers. The school is small so he gets much more support. He goes to guitar lessons, coder dojo and is a member of an adventure group. The only time he's ''bored'' is when he's being a cranky teenager .

I know it's not for everyone but I wouldn't have it any other way

Thanks for the reassurance Lucyfur, I need to hear stuff like that

I know in my heart that we are making the right decision for our family but I guess fear of the unknown (lived in a Dublin estate my whole life) gives me the jitters every now & then.

Glad your son is thriving in a rural setting x

farmchoice · 02-03-2016 4:36pm

i grew up in the country and it used to piss me off a little not being in town and able to walk over to my friends anytime i wanted. but in the long run it stood to me, it kept me out of just enough trouble.

i purposely decided to buy as house beyond walking distance of the local town for this very reason. so i will have to drive them around a good bit between the ages of 12 and 18 so what ill have some idea where they might be!!
some of my friends, good lads from good homes got into just that bit more trouble then i did because they had easier access to it, it was the difference for a few of them, not the real steady guys they were fine, but the boys like me a bit wild, a bit lazy, i couldn't just sneak away too easily. i had to get a taxi home at night so most of the time i had to leave town before the real messing started, 3.00am as opposed to 5.00am and this made all the difference, i think. i still had loads of craic and got up to all sorts but at the end of day if the auld fella was picking me up at 8.00pm or 12.00pm or whatever i had to be there.

i remember once being carried drunk down the towns main street and thrown up on the car bonnet of my fathers car where he was waiting to pick me up!! i was 18 so, so what!! that was my attitude and behind the fake indignation his too, but if i hadn't had to get a lift off him it would have happened a lot more then it did and god knows where i would have ended up a lot of times.

Penny Dreadful · 02-03-2016 5:00pm

wintersolstice wrote: »

Raising children and teens in a rural area is the cruellest thing you can do to them.its lonely and boring and I regret every day that I am putting my children through it.i have no choice but to stay here as I can't afford to move back to civilisation.as a blow in I feel isolated and everybody around seems to be related to each other. Don't ever bring your children up in a rural area, it's truly awful

I grew up in a rural area and thought it was grand. Now as a parent I'm hoping to be able to move back to where I grew up and provide the same type of upbringing for my children.
I cycled or walked to my friends more often than not - granted they lived at most 4 or 5 miles away. My parents were strict around nights out as we got older and so they gave lifts to and from (shared with the parents of my friends) which was fine.
I had a very nice childhood and wouldn't change it for the world.

Nekarsulm · 02-03-2016 5:21pm

You can get the tractor licence at 16.
Just saying

There are usually a couple at football training most nights, and even 1 parked at the local secondry......

John_Rambo · 03-03-2016 9:25am

Nekarsulm wrote: »

You can get the tractor licence at 16.
Just saying
There are usually a couple at football training most nights, and even 1 parked at the local secondry......

That's all good for the kids of farmers! Doesn't really do much for most rural dwellers that have no connection with the land apart from mowing the lawn.

I had the choice to go rural with the couple of acres or stay urban with a modest house and reasonable sized garden with public amenities including public transport. My kids aren't teenagers, but unlike a lot of my peers I realised they would be at one stage and I have no regrets. I'm in safe walking/cycling distance from all sports/scouts/parks/beaches etc...

My friends that made the rural jump had an idyllic lifestyle before kids, now they never get out of the cars. Roads are too dodgy for cycling or walking at night and realistically, what teenager wants there mam picking them up all the time?

At least two I know are renting out their isolated house and renting in a town/village.

I reckon as urbanisation spreads throughout Europe and services get more expensive or harder to avail, fuel costs rise and rural subsidies become unsustainable isolated living will become a thing of the past.

Penny Dreadful · 03-03-2016 9:52am

John_Rambo wrote: »

realistically, what teenager wants there mam picking them up all the time?
.

Pity about them. It you want a nice comfortable lift home and it comes from your parents then you just deal with it and be grateful.

John_Rambo · 03-03-2016 6:41pm

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

Pity about them

Indeed, "pity about them" and pity about the parents that have to run around after them when realistically, they should be looking after themselves, pity about the fuel bill, pity about the environment, pity about the cost of running a car so frequently, pity about the cost to the rest of the country the upkeep of these roads!

Penny Dreadful · 03-03-2016 8:51pm

John_Rambo wrote: »

Indeed, "pity about them" and pity about the parents that have to run around after them when realistically, they should be looking after themselves, pity about the fuel bill, pity about the environment, pity about the cost of running a car so frequently, pity about the cost to the rest of the country the upkeep of these roads!

I do feel sorry for the parents and all the expenses thst go with that. I do not feel sorry for any teenager that gets the hump at being picked up by their parents though. Not for a second.

Ms2011 · 03-03-2016 9:26pm

I wouldn't mind in the least driving my kids around when they're older, in fact I'd rather it so I had the peace of mind that they got to & from wherever they were going safely.

Sunny Dayz · 04-03-2016 2:21pm

Hi OP I grew up in the countryside (80's baby). In national school it was fine, we would see our school friends during the week, the odd time we would go to a friends house it would be organised by the mammies and we were lucky to live beside our gran so when cousins came to visit her, we would get to play with them.

When we were teens, mum didn't drive til I was about 15. Up until then, I had to arrange in advance if I was going to see friends after school in advance, and couldn't get a lift home until dad finished work at 6. If I wanted to see friends at the weekend, I had to get a lift to town with my dad before 9am and couldn't get back home until he was finished at 6. Things like cinema either a friend's parent did the driving or I had to give dad plenty of notice to be about (he farms in the evening).

When my mam started driving it was a big help, however yes there was a good bit of taxiing about and things had to be timed when we were meeting friends. If I was going to a friends house I still had to give a time in advance to be collected, not just heading home whenever. Got a mobile when I was 16, that was a bit more of a help but my parents didn't have one.

When I hit 18 and started going out, my parents wouldn't let me get a taxi home on my own (10 mins drive). So I had to arrange to be collected from a night out. Good for sobering you up! Think I wasn't allowed get taxis home til about 19, at that stage I was working and socialising with older people.

I felt after growing up in the country, I hadn't much freedom or independence. I went to university in Dublin and it was such a change, I could go wherever, whenever!! I did lose the run of myself, excess drinking and promiscuity.

I now have a child of my own and didn't want to live in the sticks, preferred either in a village or a small town. We live in an estate on the outskirts of a small town. I like that my son has the independence to go outside and play with the neighbouring kids, also he's an only child. When he goes to secondary school he will be able to walk or cycle himself and meet up with his friends.

Hollister11 · 06-03-2016 12:23am

Why would teens get in a hump about there parents giving them lifts. I love that my mam and dad will drop and collect me from where ever, whenever no question and im 20.

I make my own way to and from college obviously. But when i was working over the christmas period, my dad use to drop me when i was working early mornings, and my mum use to collect me when i was working evenings and nights. I got dropped and collected on sundays due to awkared bus times. Sure i get lifts to football training as well. My parents don't even like me getting taxi's when i go out.

I'm learning how to drive at the moment, but I wont be able to drive as i can't afford the insurance, especially with prices going up.

sillysu · 14-03-2016 6:08pm

Ms2011 wrote: »

As someone who is moving to a rural village next year with a 5 & 2 year old this scares the bejayus out of me

I'm in the same boat Ms2011. We are moving from an estate in a city to the countryside in the next year or so and I too am very nervous. I am a city girl, but my OH is from the countryside and wants to move back to build on land he has there. Nearest big town is about 4 miles away, not that that bothers me much because we have cars. My main worry is the kids. I have 4 boys and at the moment, aged from 9 down to 2 and they can come and go to their friends as they please. In the country, they'll have to be transported everywhere. I don't mind doing my fair share, but not everyday especially in summer holidays. One thing I will look forward to is more space in the house and garden than what we have now. Also, there are a few neighbours who would be a bad influence on my kids where we are now, so wouldn't mind getting away from them. It really is going to be a big change, hopefully it'll be the right decision to move. Any more advice from people living in the country with kids?

Ms2011 · 14-03-2016 9:21pm

Hi Sillysu, I was actually stalking the thread you started in PI about this topic

Both me & my husband are from Dublin estates but always had the dream of moving to the countryside, got a great deal on a big house with land so we are chuffed with that, my only reservation, like you are the kids.
My son is 4 now but is already used to going out in the summer to play with the kids on the road (under supervision) & he's really very social, I really do fear he will miss that greatly If we can't recreate something similar when we move. My daughter is only 11 months now so she won't really know anything else but she will need the same as my son in time.
I've lived where we live now all my life & know only too well the bad influences around here especially as the kids get older so I'm eager to get them somewhere with a bit more sense of community & a few less temptations.
I just fear my kids ever regretting our decision.

sillysu · 15-03-2016 10:38am

Well, my two older boys are well used to just going out the door and meeting up with friends outside and even in the winter, when they can't be outside, they call to their houses and visa versa and there's no big deal about it, ie organising playdates and having to feed them etc, they just come and go as they please. So they will probably miss that when we move. However, when we go and visit their grandmother, which is beside where we'd be building, I ask them what would they think of living around that area and they seem happy enough with it. I'm not 100% sure of how far the nearest kids their age would live from us, but it's definitely not just next door. There's only a few elderly neighbours directly beside us. Aaaagh, so hard to weigh up the pros and cons, but from the posts on this thread, they mostly seem to be positive about rural living. Time will tell!!!!

happywithlife · 01-04-2016 1:18pm

I am rural based with my children. Love it. They've a huge garden to play in and over the years birthdays have provided them with trampoline swing set (hopefully to be replaced with climbing frame sooner rather than later) goalposts bikes tractors etc. TThey've ample toys to choose from. Can cross the road to play with neighbours kids or we arrange play dates for them. It's the norm and no hassle. Over the easter for example my son went to a play date while daughter had a friend over and they also had a mural friend over to play another day.
I do find the GAA is huge though - I've gone from not having a clue to coaching underage teams as my kids progress through the system. Lots of parents do the same - and we're not fanatical GAA families - I've never been to a county game couldn't tell you plays on the county team but I'm very involved at the children's level. This does open them up to a wider social network to be sure.
I'd be of the thinking as the children get older they can cycle to training etc - we bring them out on the roads to cycle to get them road wise re safety etc but I will definitely hold off on them driving on their own for as long as I can - they will have to provide car first as I know firsthand how young adults / teens can be foolish in their driving habits - even the "good ones" . I've always been of the opinion I will be that parent collecting them from the disco/nite club as I will know they will get home safely and I hope act more responsibly as they know I will be the one collecting them.
My sister lives in a small village and is currently plagued with preteens ringing the doorbell throwing eggs at the house etc. Give me country living any day

RyanDrive · 10-01-2017 10:58pm

As a young person who grew up (and is still living) in a one off house rurally I'd advise everyone not to do it. All through school, while all my friends were playing their estates and hanging out with their friends, I was stuck in the middle of nowhere with no freedom to do anything. It's really isolating and quite selfish of any parent to decide to live somewhere a car's drive away from anything else.

Sunny Dayz · 11-01-2017 12:56pm

RyanDrive wrote: »

As a young person who grew up (and is still living) in a one off house rurally I'd advise everyone not to do it. All through school, while all my friends were playing their estates and hanging out with their friends, I was stuck in the middle of nowhere with no freedom to do anything. It's really isolating and quite selfish of any parent to decide to live somewhere a car's drive away from anything else.

That's a bit harsh. Living in the countryside is quite manageable with teenagers nowadays as all will have mobile phones (trying to get good broadband can be a challenge depending on where you live). Once you don't mind driving here, there and everywhere it can be done.
Back in my day we didn't have mobiles and only had one car for the person who worked full time. My parents decided to live in the country to be near family and so my father could farm part time.

BeardySi · 11-01-2017 2:38pm

RyanDrive wrote: »

As a young person who grew up (and is still living) in a one off house rurally I'd advise everyone not to do it. All through school, while all my friends were playing their estates and hanging out with their friends, I was stuck in the middle of nowhere with no freedom to do anything. It's really isolating and quite selfish of any parent to decide to live somewhere a car's drive away from anything else.

Selfish? God love ya, it's so hard....

Grew up in the country - I'd walk, cycle or hitch my way to friends, the nearest village, the lake, the pitch, the pub (in later years!;)) etc. If I wanted to go out at the weekend I'd stay with mates in town on a Friday or Saturday. Made plenty of use of the mum and dad taxi service, but tried not to over-rely. Would have taken that over city living any day of the week then and still feel the same.

Rural Living & Teenagers

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