Rural Living & Teenagers

Noffles · 17-02-2012 12:47pm #1

Does anyone else find that having a teen in the home and rural living, where there is no public trasnport and all the kids live a good bit apart, very difficult.

You're basically tied to the car and having to give lifts multiple times of the day... In no way do I blame the lad, not his fault we live in the middle of nowhere.

But I'm always hearing, around here anyway, of how great it is to bring kids up in the area... I have to beg to differ really as once they want to go anywhere more than the garden you're in a world of hassle.

Christ, the sooner he can drive the better, here's the keys work away...

KittyeeTrix · 17-02-2012 1:32pm

I hear ya Noffles...............

We live about 5 mins from Athenry station and my 2 eldest lads (15 and 17 yrs old) go to school in Galway City so they have monthly train tickets.

We just have to bring them to the train station so it's not too bad. In one respect it's a good thing cos it means they come home on the train in the evening at about 7pm and that's it then, in so far as they are in the house for the evening.... Cuts out the hanging around on street corners scenario:)

Noffles · 17-02-2012 1:47pm

Similar but not quite... the bus is down the road, not really an issue (even though we had to change schools to get this bus..)

More a case of after school and weekends, at 17 can't expect him to sit in every evening and the weekend is similar. It's either a really early can you pick me up or a really late one..

Maybe I'm just venting, once he can drive bye bye do his thing... and not long for that.

Daisy M · 17-02-2012 5:24pm

We live 3 miles from the nearest small town 10 from the larger one and I am delighted. If we lived in town there would be constant arguments about the kids wanting to be out hanging around the town/estate whatever. Curfew would be another battle with limits been pushed. I would much rather be droping off and picking up than worring what they are getting up to on a daily basis.

The Princess Bride · 17-02-2012 7:55pm

We live smack bang in the middle of a field in the middle of the middle of nowhere.
As do all of their friends( and mine,actually.)

And yes,it can be a pain always having to taxi them places.

But I am glad,really- I fear if they were living in a town or city, I'd imagine they'd never be at home as it would be too easy to meet up with pals, or whatever.Can't imagine any homework ever being done.

We share lifts with other parents if we can- and thankfully the older 2 get the bus to school.
It's only a few short years and then they'll be driving me around.(that's my plan,anyway-ha!)

BengaLover · 17-02-2012 9:58pm

I feel your pain...Texts at 12am asking for a lift home, endless trips when there is something on for school..
Friends who need dropping off after coming home with her.. We live 20 mins from town and today I did a total of 4 return trips.:mad:

cynder · 17-02-2012 10:01pm

As a 14 and 15 year old I used to cycle to town, 5 miles each way. 6 miles if I went swimming in the sea. I also cycled 2 miles to work each way. I could cycle up to 80 miles a week some weeks. was a very fit teen, at 16 I cycled 30 miles each way when I cycled to the city.

If I wanted a lift to town when I lived with my mom or dad I had to pay for it, 5 pound each way.

Thankfully I live on the outskirts if town so have the best if both worlds, were 2.5km from the centre of town, when my lady is older she can walk it ( in the day time) but I plan on getting her a scooter at 16 so she can take herself to school and horseriding, I won't have to taxi her around.

afkasurfjunkie · 18-02-2012 2:32pm

im sick to the back teeth trying to make my way through a sea of teenagers to get into my local shopping centre on a regular basis. i always think to myself i cannot wait to live in the middle of the country when i have kids.

deisemum · 19-02-2012 3:41am

I grew up in the countryside and my nearest friend lived about 2.5 miles from me. If we wanted to go to the village or town it usually involved having to get a lift.

I live in the suburbs now and much prefer it than living in the countryside as I like the convenience of the suburbs. My children are teenagers and can either walk or cycle to their friends and it's less of an inconvenience and expense than what their friends in the countryside have.

I think it's easier to get up to devilment in the countryside than in urban areas, at least it was when I was a child and I now see my nephews and their friends are up to allsorts out of sight of watchful eyes.

newmug · 19-02-2012 4:09am

WTF? Your child is 17 and he's being taxi'd around? He should have a bike from the age of 12. And you can drive at 17, so why havent you put him on your insurance?

I was learning to drive at 12. We had aul scrap cars in fields and forests etc. that we used to rally around in. We cycled everywhere, often cycled 50 miles a day on little adventures. You just get used to it.

deisemum wrote: »

I think it's easier to get up to devilment in the countryside than in urban areas.

I agree, but its a less bad kind of divilment. You might fall off a castle or lose a finger in a machine;), but you wont get addicted to anything or get stabbed or end up in court.

echo beach · 19-02-2012 8:00pm

newmug wrote: »

I agree, but its a less bad kind of divilment. You might fall off a castle or lose a finger in a machine;), but you wont get addicted to anything or get stabbed or end up in court.

Read the court reports in the local papers. Lots of young people from rural areas up for fighting, drunk and disorderly, etc. and also drugs cases.
Are you saying nobody brought up in a rural area ever became addicted to alcohol?
Take off the rose-tinted glasses. Parents have to be aware of all those dangers and if you if live in a rural area then taxiing your children around, or arranging lifts with other responsible adults, is the only way you know where they are and is by far the safest option. It may be a pain but I am happy to do it, even in the early hours of the morning. I choose to have children and I choose to live where I do so I take the responsibility for looking after them and letting them have a resonable amount of social contact.

deisemum · 19-02-2012 10:08pm

echo beach wrote: »

Read the court reports in the local papers. Lots of young people from rural areas up for fighting, drunk and disorderly, etc. and also drugs cases.
Are you saying nobody brought up in a rural area ever became addicted to alcohol?
Take off the rose-tinted glasses. Parents have to be aware of all those dangers and if you if live in a rural area then taxiing your children around, or arranging lifts with other responsible adults, is the only way you know where they are and is by far the safest option. It may be a pain but I am happy to do it, even in the early hours of the morning. I choose to have children and I choose to live where I do so I take the responsibility for looking after them and letting them have a resonable amount of social contact.

I agree. I wouldn't like my children cycling on the rural roads considering how those familiar with their local roads generally drive at excessive speed compared to those not familiar with an area. After dark it's worse.

There is also a lot of anti-social behaviour in rural areas as well.

wolfpawnat · 19-02-2012 10:21pm

From when I was 17 until I was 19 my family moved to the middle of nowhere. I went from living in an area a few miles from Cork city with an alright bus system (one a half hour) to the wilds of Kerry with a mile and a half cycle to the road for a school bus, and 2 miles to the nearest shop, and 3 miles to the nearest village.

Biggest culture shock of my life.

My mother wouldn't let me learn to drive, and she was often away at work or with friends. Taxi's and cycling were our transport and I bloody loved it!!!! Seriously, it made me a healthier person. I didn't eat as much junk food and I walked/cycled everywhere. It helped me study for exams too!

cynder · 19-02-2012 10:23pm

deisemum wrote: »

I agree. I wouldn't like my children cycling on the rural roads considering how those familiar with their local roads generally drive at excessive speed compared to those not familiar with an area. After dark it's worse.

There is also a lot of anti-social behaviour in rural areas as well.

I cycled for years on rural roads with no incidents, however a boy who is in ky daughters class at school his dad was hit by a truck on the dual carriage way and was killed instantly. the truck drifted in and stock the man On the hard shoulder.

At night if you have lights and reflective gear it helps, when I cycled at 15 I had no lights or reflective gear and would be home for 11.30pm got stopped by the guards the one night, they told us to get lights. We did.

Bikes are very handy, however my daughter's bike cost over 500 so she cant ride it to school because it will be nicked.

Noffles · 20-02-2012 10:04am

Seesm to of turned into a "he should be cycling" threead...

It's not really the point, cycling in the dark and long distances aint feasible so it's not an option, in the summer holidays it's grand but not in the winter, dangerous etc..

Personally I think they lose a bit of their independence as they have to rely on assistance to get to and fro.. Where I grew up, right inside the town, there was never any of this and my parents weren't hassled for lifts.. I doubt they would of complained directly to me, as I don't to my son... it was never an issue really.

Ah well, he'll soon be actually 17 and can drive, hopefully, from there on..

cynder · 20-02-2012 10:39am

Noffles wrote: »

Ah well, he'll soon be actually 17 and can drive, hopefully, from there on..

He will still need someone in the car with him, who holds a full licence. My guesses that will be you.

cynder · 20-02-2012 10:53am

Noffles wrote: »

Seesm to of turned into a "he should be cycling" threead...

It's not really the point, cycling in the dark and long distances aint feasible so it's not an option, in the summer holidays it's grand but not in the winter, dangerous etc..

Personally I think they lose a bit of their independence as they have to rely on assistance to get to and fro.. Where I grew up, right inside the town, there was never any of this and my parents weren't hassled for lifts.. I doubt they would of complained directly to me, as I don't to my son... it was never an issue really.

..

thought this was an open enough thread, you didn't ask for advise you wanted to talk about having to drive you son everywhere.

Having lived in the middle of nowhere, i had to cycle everywhere, as my mother didn't drive and my dad wouldn't take us anywhere. From the age of 9 i was cycling rural country roads of county cork in sun, wind, rain, sleet, ice and snow.

After we moved and i was withdrawn from school because it was too far for my dad to drive us and us to cycle (aprox 20 miles, even to get the school bus it was 5 miles) we continued cycling, 3 miles to local shop in village, 5 mile to the next bigger village, it was great freedom got us father than the garden. At 14 when we moved again i used to cycle a lot more. When i left home at 16 my bike was great, got me to work and back to limerick and back (30 miles each way) i had to make that trip a lot as i had braces and the orthodontist was in limerick.

I don't see cycling as dangerous, even in winter (with a high visibility jacket and lights). The ones who seem to think cycling is dangerous are the ones who never relied on a bike to get from a to b or did it as a sport. Its one of the best ways for a teen to have independence.

syklops · 20-02-2012 11:11am

Car ownership has increased in the past twenty years. When I was groing up every family had one car, now most families have two at least and some have 3. Meanwhile, while the quality of primary roads in Ireland has improved, quality of secondary roads has stagnated.

From the age of 9 i was cycling rural country roads of county cork in sun, wind, rain, sleet, ice and snow.

Great, so by the time you were 14 you had 5 years experience driving on country roads. The OPs son, is 16, and I don't know how much experience he has cycling, but I think perhaps its a bit late to start cycling on rural roads.

I don't see cycling as dangerous, even in winter (with a high visibility jacket and lights). The ones who seem to think cycling is dangerous are the ones who never relied on a bike to get from a to b or did it as a sport.

Also some of the people who see cycling on rural roads as dangerous are the people who have seen flowers and crosses on their own roads where people have died.

Its one of the best ways for a teen to have independence.

Is that necessarily a good thing?

cynder · 20-02-2012 11:29am

syklops wrote: »

Car ownership has increased in the past twenty years. When I was groing up every family had one car, now most families have two at least and some have 3. Meanwhile, while the quality of primary roads in Ireland has improved, quality of secondary roads has stagnated.

Great, so by the time you were 14 you had 5 years experience driving on country roads. The OPs son, is 16, and I don't know how much experience he has cycling, but I think perhaps its a bit late to start cycling on rural roads.

Also some of the people who see cycling on rural roads as dangerous are the people who have seen flowers and crosses on their own roads where people have died.

Is that necessarily a good thing?

A bit late to cycle on a rural road? It's like saying to a 30 year old it's a bit late to learn to drive.

Are all those flowers and crosses for cyclists? No. Being on a road either in a car on a bike or on foot carry a risk, same as going on a plane, horse riding. Being on a bike weaving from side to side and not wearing helmet and reflective jacket is asking for trouble.

Is independence a good thing? Well is it a bad thing? We all had to grow up and stand on our own 2 feet.

Tbh I think there is more risk of a under 22 year old dieing behind the wheel of a car than being killed by riding a bike.

angelfire9 · 20-02-2012 11:44am

I grew up and am still living within a mile of where Grindlewald now lives
I cycled to school in both primary and secondary school in the days pre reflective jackets and helmets and got knocked off my bike while stopped at the junction beside the secondary school (I was lucky the lights had just turned green if the car that hit me had been going any faster I'd be dead)
Roads nowadays are much busier than 20 years ago I certainly won't be letting my 10 year old cycle into primary school
I probably will encourage her to cycle in once she is 15/16 the bit of independence is important to a teenager and most of the way she can go via housing estates and quieter roads and through the park so the risk of her getting knocked down should be minimal
I'm not sure I'd be anxious to put her on my car insurance at 17 but that's 7 years away yet

cynder · 20-02-2012 11:50am

angelfire9 wrote: »

I grew up and am still living within a mile of where Grindlewald now lives
I cycled to school in both primary and secondary school in the days pre reflective jackets and helmets and got knocked off my bike while stopped at the junction beside the secondary school (I was lucky the lights had just turned green if the car that hit me had been going any faster I'd be dead)
Roads nowadays are much busier than 20 years ago I certainly won't be letting my 10 year old cycle into primary school
I probably will encourage her to cycle in once she is 15/16 the bit of independence is important to a teenager and most of the way she can go via housing estates and quieter roads and through the park so the risk of her getting knocked down should be minimal
I'm not sure I'd be anxious to put her on my car insurance at 17 but that's 7 years away yet

At least we have some cycle lanes now. I was reading the rsa guidelines where they say a child should be 12 before they ride on a public road unsupervised. My daughter's school had someone come in and take the kids out on the road and teach them the proper techniques and rules of the road. The cost of the course was 20 euro and they got a safety helmet.

syklops · 20-02-2012 12:02pm

grindelwald wrote: »

At least we have cycle lanes now.

Where are these cycle lanes you speak of. Around where I grew up there is no cycle lanes. I don't even think the main road has cycle lanes, so perhaps you are more in favour of cycling as you are dealing with better roads.

cynder · 20-02-2012 12:10pm

syklops wrote: »

Where are these cycle lanes you speak of. Around where I grew up there is no cycle lanes. I don't even think the main road has cycle lanes, so perhaps you are more in favour of cycling as you are dealing with better roads.

Where my self and Angelfire now live there are some cycle lanes, on the main routes but not side roads which are popular with cyclists and walkers.

I've told you I grew up in the country and now live on the outskirts of town so have both country and town routes. I'm in favour of cycling because I've been there done that and when patents cant or wont ship you around its a great option to have and keeps you fit at. the same time. Did it in all weather, all year round, day and night. On all road types dual carriage ways, main roads, side roads, coast roads, pot holed roads, city roads, town roads.

Daisy M · 20-02-2012 12:18pm

My 14 yr old will cycle to friends houses within a couple of miles radius. I cycled everywhere too and usually there would have been a few along with me if we were going to training or another friends house. The roads are much busier now though and car engines are much quieter I often find when I am out walking I dont hear a car approaching from behind until it is nearly at me so for this reason I would not be keen on my kids cycling the very windy secondary school to our local community centre for training.

The way I see it is that we are a very fortunate household compared to the household I grew up in. While we are not well off we have two cars and money to put petrol in them this wasnt the case when I grew up one car only my father drove and only a set amount of money to put pertol in the car. The car was used for necessary trips not popping in and out to town or dropping us off everywhere.

Op out of curiosity how many trips are you doing for your son? I think its the norm that most parents have at least one return trip each day as well as school runs, with 3 children I often have multiple trips and its going to get worse as they get older. I do share lifts as much as possible say my son is going to the cinema or disco 10 miles away then I usually pick up one or two of his friends going out of my way by a few miles to do so, then one of their parents will collect them and return the favour.

One thing my husband and I have always wanted to teach our kids for when they are older is that they can call on us any time of the day or night. We dont ever want them in a situation where they are stranded after a disco and have no way home and are afraid to call us in case they get an earful for not having organised a lift. They are always told even if they are at the other end of the country at college or work and need help they should ring us and we will come get them no matter how many hours drive it is.

Noffles · 20-02-2012 2:27pm

But this is not the "good old days" I see cycling is more of a keeping fit or commuting method rather than a form of transport to rely on..

I don't think it's feasible to ask a 16 year old to cycle anywhere further than 3 or 4k if it is in the evening or late at night... the roads aren't that safe, no matter who says so.. and no matter how many refective items you wear. If they want to see their mates, they don't want to cycle 12k to get there, covered in sweat and grime simply to hang around for a few hours and then do the same back. No one would...

My original gripe is that I have grown tired of it, I give our lad a lot of freedom and it seems to be me who has to provide the access to it... It's a shame for both me and him as I have to compromise and so does he.

In a way, he'll be quite lucky as we will get him driving as soon as possible and he can have all the freedome he wishes... he just can't drive my beemer!

cynder · 20-02-2012 2:35pm

Noffles wrote: »

In a way, he'll be quite lucky as we will get him driving as soon as possible and he can have all the freedome he wishes... he just can't drive my beemer!

He wont because he will be restricted until he gets his full licence so your still talking about another year, giving that he needs to do a theory test (pass it), have at least 12 lessons and hold the provisional for 6 months before he can apply for his test and when he is driving a qualified person needs to be with him, he cant just take the car for a drive. If he passes his test first time, then he will have all the freedom he wishes (as long as he has his own car), He will be what 18 then! Soon or at least until he passes his test you will be tired of sitting in the passenger seat, watching him drive.

Hope he has already done his theory test... if not i would get on to that asap.

I have another 17 months before my lady can do the theory test. She will be 14 doing it and will have plenty of time to resit if she fails. That way i can get the ball rolling to get a licence and put her on a training course, then apply for the test, (of course she will be practicing on private land before she does the training course) at 17 she will be put on my insurance the day she gets her provisional for the car, should be a few days after her 17th. (of course she will be taught to drive before this again on private land)

Daisy M · 20-02-2012 3:07pm

Noffles I suppose the only way to deal with it is to think of it as a "stage" just like the terrible twos it will soon be a distant memory:)

dahamsta · 20-02-2012 4:37pm

Daisy M wrote: »

The roads are much busier now though and car engines are much quieter I often find when I am out walking I dont hear a car approaching from behind until it is nearly at me so for this reason I would not be keen on my kids cycling the very windy secondary school to our local community centre for training.

While I can understand that some might consider quieter engines an issue while cycling (I wouldn't consider it appreciable), I can't see how it applies while walking if you're doing it correctly, i.e. walking towards oncoming traffic, not away. And if the training in the local community centre is for cycling, could you not fire the bike(s) into the back of the car on that occasion?

Daisy M · 20-02-2012 5:40pm

dahamsta wrote: »

While I can understand that some might consider quieter engines an issue while cycling (I wouldn't consider it appreciable), I can't see how it applies while walking if you're doing it correctly, i.e. walking towards oncoming traffic, not away. And if the training in the local community centre is for cycling, could you not fire the bike(s) into the back of the car on that occasion?

I live in the country and the roads are narrow only one car space so it doesnt matter which side of the road I walk on, its not an issue on a calm day but if its a little breezy it can be. When cycling on these roads it is an issue especially when there is lots of bends its not as if the car has the opportunity to see you. When I was referring to training I was referring to soccer and gaelic.

cynder · 20-02-2012 6:03pm

Daisy M wrote: »

I live in the country and the roads are narrow only one car space so it doesnt matter which side of the road I walk on, its not an issue on a calm day but if its a little breezy it can be. When cycling on these roads it is an issue especially when there is lots of bends its not as if the car has the opportunity to see you. When I was referring to training I was referring to soccer and gaelic.

Thats a bad habit, when i was growing up there was only space for one car, yet we always walked on the proper side of the road and if a car came we would be as kind to step of the road in to the hedge, however i notice not many people do that these days. You see some walking 2 a breast (and wont budge) instead of walking single file.

Perhaps country folk are changing.

Daisy M · 20-02-2012 6:56pm

grindelwald wrote: »

Thats a bad habit, when i was growing up there was only space for one car, yet we always walked on the proper side of the road and if a car came we would be as kind to step of the road in to the hedge, however i notice not many people do that these days. You see some walking 2 a breast (and wont budge) instead of walking single file.

Perhaps country folk are changing.

No you misunderstood me ,I do walk on the correct side but it doesnt make a difference on my side road as its so narrow and I have to stand in no matter which side I am on. I rarely see anyone walking on the wrong side but when I do its always at night and they are not lit up, some people just refuse to change!

dahamsta · 20-02-2012 7:03pm

Ah, I thought you mean bicycle training. I always walk on the correct side like grindelwald, it wouldn't make sense to me not too; and I'm a city boy originally.

TBH I think the only cars that are /that/ quiet are electrics, and they're: a) few and far between; and b) have to have noise added artificially these days. All depends on the roads though, there's roads around here I wouldn't walk or cycle on either.

Cyclists are the same, I saw a woman and a man with two young kids on bikes on a busy mid-sized country road recently, not only were they two abreast the first time I passed them, when I was returning it was dark. That's just crazy like.

I think some of the comments above are a bit OTT btw. Nobody suggested that kids should cycle tens of miles to school every day, just that kids should be ejected out onto the bikes every now and then, particularly if their friends are only a couple of miles up the road.

newmug · 20-02-2012 10:56pm

grindelwald wrote: »

He will still need someone in the car with him, who holds a full licence. My guesses that will be you.

Legally, yes. Realistically, out in the middle of the country, nobody does that. NOT condoning it, but that law has always been there, and its hardly ever been enforced.

Noffles wrote: »

But this is not the "good old days" I see cycling is more of a keeping fit or commuting method rather than a form of transport to rely on..

I don't think it's feasible to ask a 16 year old to cycle anywhere further than 3 or 4k if it is in the evening or late at night... the roads aren't that safe, no matter who says so.. and no matter how many refective items you wear. If they want to see their mates, they don't want to cycle 12k to get there, covered in sweat and grime simply to hang around for a few hours and then do the same back. No one would...

You sound like a townie who just moved to the country!

up for anything · 20-02-2012 11:53pm

Somehow I think I'd prefer providing the taxi service than lying awake at home waiting to hear their car pull up outside the house.

deisemum · 21-02-2012 1:34am

It's one thing to cycle in the countryside on a bright summer evening but a lot of the narrow roads particularly those where only 1 vehicle can drive are dangerous especially in winter when it's wet and the roads are covered in cow ****e and mud from tractors that are wider now than years ago that knock the soil from the ditch out onto the road or where they've come out of a field and dragged it out onto the road.

Noffles · 21-02-2012 2:12pm

newmug wrote: »

Legally, yes. Realistically, out in the middle of the country, nobody does that. NOT condoning it, but that law has always been there, and its hardly ever been enforced.

You sound like a townie who just moved to the country!

A "townie"...?

Personlly I think I sound like someone who like his son, thinks that a 12k cycle is too much to ask, if you want to stay clean and presentable and not have to do it all again a few hours later... in the dark, on rural roads that have not a single light on them...

hattoncracker · 23-02-2012 12:21pm

newmug wrote: »

Legally, yes. Realistically, out in the middle of the country, nobody does that. NOT condoning it, but that law has always been there, and its hardly ever been enforced.

Maybe not, but before you let him behind the wheel of the car by himself, you need to make sure that your insurance policy will cover him if he has an accident while driving unaccompanied. Some of them don't.

nd be willing to pay the €1,000 fine if he's caught, and the other €1,000 fine if he's not using L plates when he's caught.

Dickie10 · 22-10-2015 10:44pm

sorry this is an old thread but i do a bit of teaching with teens and im just wondering if theres a link between rural teens and urban teens and how streetwise or innocent they are?

i would be of the opinion that rural teens are far more streetwise than the urban ones, they seem very good at holding a conversation with people who are say 25,35,45,65 than urban teens, like they can chat about weather, neighbours,sport etc very easily and willingly where as i see a lot of urban teens would look at some one with ten heads if they struck up a chat with them in a shop or street they also seem to be more intune with real world matters, local and international such as weather, politics or just current affairs i see a trait in urban teens where all they want is their own age group talking to them and only airy ,fairy talk.

one thing i do notice in urban areas is teenagers actually reading the local paper and daily papers they actually fight over it sometimes in the school, mostly for sports news, i think this is a great trait. one theory i have is that the smaller popoulation forces them to interact more with older people and peple from all walks of life, just wondering what other opions are ooon this......... and no im not an ENGLISH teacher!!!

wintersolstice · 27-02-2016 12:04am

Raising children and teens in a rural area is the cruellest thing you can do to them.its lonely and boring and I regret every day that I am putting my children through it.i have no choice but to stay here as I can't afford to move back to civilisation.as a blow in I feel isolated and everybody around seems to be related to each other. Don't ever bring your children up in a rural area, it's truly awful

Irish_Elect_Eng · 28-02-2016 4:51pm

wintersolstice wrote: »

Raising children and teens in a rural area is the cruellest thing you can do to them.its lonely and boring and I regret every day that I am putting my children through it.i have no choice but to stay here as I can't afford to move back to civilisation.as a blow in I feel isolated and everybody around seems to be related to each other. Don't ever bring your children up in a rural area, it's truly awful

Wow... You seem to have had a bad experience.

Children are very flexible and adapt to their environments, urban or rural there are different benefits and challenges for kids in each case. I won't get into the discussion about which is better, they are just different.

You may feel isolated in the countryside, but when kids move to the countryside they have more links to their communities than adults do. Particularly when the adults work and socialize in a nearby town or city.

School, clubs, sports and other activities have kids interacting with their peers, much more than adults that move to the countryside. I remember a neighbor, a blow-in :-) from England telling me that in the early years living in a rural area he relied on his young kids to remind him who the neighbors were, where their houses were and what cars they drove.

I myself moved from a city to the countryside, but have the advantage of being married to a beautiful county lass which helps a lot with integration. I had many challenges, but it was not until I actively became part of the community, helping at the GAA club, Parents Council at the school, Etc. that I could let go of what I previously enjoyed and com to enjoy the country life.

To make the situation improve for your family, I would advice making the best of it, get involved, get your kids involved, and please believe me, rural people seeing new people making an effort to become part of their community are very welcoming.

syklops · 29-02-2016 11:24am

wintersolstice wrote: »

Raising children and teens in a rural area is the cruellest thing you can do to them.its lonely and boring and I regret every day that I am putting my children through it.i have no choice but to stay here as I can't afford to move back to civilisation.as a blow in I feel isolated and everybody around seems to be related to each other. Don't ever bring your children up in a rural area, it's truly awful

Everything you say is true to a point. I grew up in the 80s/90s.

Was a blown in - check
Everyone around me was related to everyone else - check
Lonely - check
Was boring - check, though once we got internet I was never bored again.

That said, looking back there are advantages. Considering the few friends I had during much of my childhood, the one thing worse than being in a remote location would have been living somewhere where people you dont like or get on with are around you all the time. Getting picked on in school is bad enough, but potentially getting picked on every time you leave the house would have been so much worse.

The first two points could happen in a town or city. Like so many things in life, the grass is often greener.

Between Sky television and Broadband, two home comforts available in 99% of the island, rural living has become much more comfortable. I moved to a city when I was 18 and have lived in cities or suburbia ever since, but Im genuinely looking forward to buying my house in the country.

I remember my mothers friend who lived in an estate in Dublin somewhere expressing her jealousy at our remote location. She said from practically the minute her daughter hit the age of 13, she got a full time job of chasing boys away from the door.

So its not all black and white.

Ms2011 · 29-02-2016 5:10pm

wintersolstice wrote: »

Raising children and teens in a rural area is the cruellest thing you can do to them.its lonely and boring and I regret every day that I am putting my children through it.i have no choice but to stay here as I can't afford to move back to civilisation.as a blow in I feel isolated and everybody around seems to be related to each other. Don't ever bring your children up in a rural area, it's truly awful

As someone who is moving to a rural village next year with a 5 & 2 year old this scares the bejayus out of me

Lucyfur · 29-02-2016 10:08pm

Ms2011 wrote: »

As someone who is moving to a rural village next year with a 5 & 2 year old this scares the bejayus out of me

I'm raising a teenager in the countryside. He loves it. He loved it when he was 2 and at 5 too! We've a massive garden, he can cycle to friends houses. He goes to a country school so most of his peers are country dwellers. The school is small so he gets much more support. He goes to guitar lessons, coder dojo and is a member of an adventure group. The only time he's ''bored'' is when he's being a cranky teenager

.

I know it's not for everyone but I wouldn't have it any other way

Ms2011 · 29-02-2016 10:18pm

Lucyfur wrote: »

I'm raising a teenager in the countryside. He loves it. He loved it when he was 2 and at 5 too! We've a massive garden, he can cycle to friends houses. He goes to a country school so most of his peers are country dwellers. The school is small so he gets much more support. He goes to guitar lessons, coder dojo and is a member of an adventure group. The only time he's ''bored'' is when he's being a cranky teenager .

I know it's not for everyone but I wouldn't have it any other way

Thanks for the reassurance Lucyfur, I need to hear stuff like that

I know in my heart that we are making the right decision for our family but I guess fear of the unknown (lived in a Dublin estate my whole life) gives me the jitters every now & then.

Glad your son is thriving in a rural setting x

farmchoice · 02-03-2016 4:36pm

i grew up in the country and it used to piss me off a little not being in town and able to walk over to my friends anytime i wanted. but in the long run it stood to me, it kept me out of just enough trouble.

i purposely decided to buy as house beyond walking distance of the local town for this very reason. so i will have to drive them around a good bit between the ages of 12 and 18 so what ill have some idea where they might be!!
some of my friends, good lads from good homes got into just that bit more trouble then i did because they had easier access to it, it was the difference for a few of them, not the real steady guys they were fine, but the boys like me a bit wild, a bit lazy, i couldn't just sneak away too easily. i had to get a taxi home at night so most of the time i had to leave town before the real messing started, 3.00am as opposed to 5.00am and this made all the difference, i think. i still had loads of craic and got up to all sorts but at the end of day if the auld fella was picking me up at 8.00pm or 12.00pm or whatever i had to be there.

i remember once being carried drunk down the towns main street and thrown up on the car bonnet of my fathers car where he was waiting to pick me up!! i was 18 so, so what!! that was my attitude and behind the fake indignation his too, but if i hadn't had to get a lift off him it would have happened a lot more then it did and god knows where i would have ended up a lot of times.

Penny Dreadful · 02-03-2016 5:00pm

wintersolstice wrote: »

Raising children and teens in a rural area is the cruellest thing you can do to them.its lonely and boring and I regret every day that I am putting my children through it.i have no choice but to stay here as I can't afford to move back to civilisation.as a blow in I feel isolated and everybody around seems to be related to each other. Don't ever bring your children up in a rural area, it's truly awful

I grew up in a rural area and thought it was grand. Now as a parent I'm hoping to be able to move back to where I grew up and provide the same type of upbringing for my children.
I cycled or walked to my friends more often than not - granted they lived at most 4 or 5 miles away. My parents were strict around nights out as we got older and so they gave lifts to and from (shared with the parents of my friends) which was fine.
I had a very nice childhood and wouldn't change it for the world.

Nekarsulm · 02-03-2016 5:21pm

You can get the tractor licence at 16.
Just saying

There are usually a couple at football training most nights, and even 1 parked at the local secondry......

John_Rambo · 03-03-2016 9:25am

Nekarsulm wrote: »

You can get the tractor licence at 16.
Just saying
There are usually a couple at football training most nights, and even 1 parked at the local secondry......

That's all good for the kids of farmers! Doesn't really do much for most rural dwellers that have no connection with the land apart from mowing the lawn.

I had the choice to go rural with the couple of acres or stay urban with a modest house and reasonable sized garden with public amenities including public transport. My kids aren't teenagers, but unlike a lot of my peers I realised they would be at one stage and I have no regrets. I'm in safe walking/cycling distance from all sports/scouts/parks/beaches etc...

My friends that made the rural jump had an idyllic lifestyle before kids, now they never get out of the cars. Roads are too dodgy for cycling or walking at night and realistically, what teenager wants there mam picking them up all the time?

At least two I know are renting out their isolated house and renting in a town/village.

I reckon as urbanisation spreads throughout Europe and services get more expensive or harder to avail, fuel costs rise and rural subsidies become unsustainable isolated living will become a thing of the past.

Penny Dreadful · 03-03-2016 9:52am

John_Rambo wrote: »

realistically, what teenager wants there mam picking them up all the time?
.

Pity about them. It you want a nice comfortable lift home and it comes from your parents then you just deal with it and be grateful.

John_Rambo · 03-03-2016 6:41pm

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

Pity about them

Indeed, "pity about them" and pity about the parents that have to run around after them when realistically, they should be looking after themselves, pity about the fuel bill, pity about the environment, pity about the cost of running a car so frequently, pity about the cost to the rest of the country the upkeep of these roads!

Penny Dreadful · 03-03-2016 8:51pm

John_Rambo wrote: »

Indeed, "pity about them" and pity about the parents that have to run around after them when realistically, they should be looking after themselves, pity about the fuel bill, pity about the environment, pity about the cost of running a car so frequently, pity about the cost to the rest of the country the upkeep of these roads!

I do feel sorry for the parents and all the expenses thst go with that. I do not feel sorry for any teenager that gets the hump at being picked up by their parents though. Not for a second.

Rural Living & Teenagers

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