Jokes not everyone will get

General Zod · 28-05-2009 11:59am #1

V/I is futile.

chopperbyrne · 28-05-2009 12:06pm

I'll go with the obvious.

There are 10 types of people in this world, those that understand binary and those that don't.

chin_grin · 28-05-2009 12:09pm

"What's the most important factor a comedian can have timing."

I sent that around to most of my mates....about say...60% texted back going "what?". Facepalm.

And another;

"Did you hear that exaggerations are up a million percent this year?"

TheTubes · 28-05-2009 12:11pm

chin_grin wrote: »

"What's the most important factor a comedian can have timing."

brilliant.

ejmaztec · 28-05-2009 12:11pm

chin_grin wrote: »

"What's the most important factor a comedian can have timing."

I sent that around to most of my mates....about say...60% texted back going "what?". Facepalm.

And another;

"Did you hear that exaggerations are up a million percent this year?"

It's the way you tell 'em.:(

28-05-2009 12:12pm

I'm so cultured, I make yoghurt jealous

AnonoBoy · 28-05-2009 12:12pm

chin_grin wrote: »

"What's the most important factor a comedian can have timing."

I sent that around to most of my mates....about say...60% texted back going "what?". Facepalm.

It doesn't really work as a text joke though, does it?

It's the sort of thing that you need to hear.

Steve Martin used to have a big long involved joke about plumbing with lots of technical jargon thrown in and when he finished there'd be stony silence. He'd look around and say "Is that plumbing convention not in tonight?"

I liked that one.

chin_grin · 28-05-2009 12:15pm

ejmaztec wrote: »

It's the way you tell 'em.:(

AnonoBoy wrote: »

It doesn't really work as a text joke though, does it?

It's the sort of thing that you need to hear.

See, I'm of the other opinion that it only works when read! Dunno. When you say it people look at you like a dog that's just been shown a card trick. When it's written down you can kinda look back and go..."Ah, yeah....get it now". Or maybe when I first came across it, it was written and that's the medium I use.

Diff'rent Strokes I s'pose.

javaboy · 28-05-2009 12:17pm

Moved from After Hours. Please read the charter here before saying "that joke is crap".

28-05-2009 12:20pm

chin_grin wrote: »

"Did you hear that exaggerations are up a million percent this year?"

Classic..

Steoob · 28-05-2009 1:22pm

chin_grin wrote:

What's the most important factor a comedian can have timing.

OK can someone please explain this joke haha.

Rabies · 28-05-2009 1:47pm

Steoob wrote: »

OK can someone please explain this joke haha.

No pause.

Slidey · 28-05-2009 2:01pm

Rabies wrote: »

No pause.

That the one about the dog with no legs?

kev_s88 · 28-05-2009 3:47pm

how did the crotchet get into the 3/4 bar of music???

he waltzed in

*

*this is a very music nerd joke so i really dont expect many people to get it

WithCheesePlease · 28-05-2009 4:38pm

General Zod wrote: »

V/I is futile.

Uhhh, I had to look that up.

Ok, this joke is crap but it fits the bill...

2 republicans are walking down the road in Belfast when they see a guy standing against a wall.
"An ceapann tú go bhfuil an fear sin san U.V.F.?"
"Ni ceapaim"

Steoob · 28-05-2009 4:52pm

Rabies wrote: »

No pause.

Oh... ya I got that, I just assumed that there was a funny answer. I was wrong.

sedantez · 28-05-2009 5:04pm

Q. Whats the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

A. Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon....

whereas ...

Michael Jackson sleeps with small children.

FruitLover · 28-05-2009 11:16pm

どうして鶏はメビウスの輪を横切ったの？

同じ側にいくためさ。

byrner88 · 28-05-2009 11:47pm

FruitLover wrote: »

どうして鶏はメビウスの輪を横切ったの？

同じ側にいくためさ。

thats hillarious

Bearhunter · 28-05-2009 11:59pm

gearoid_healy wrote: »

Uhhh, I had to look that up.

Ok, this joke is crap but it fits the bill...

2 republicans are walking down the road in Belfast when they see a guy standing against a wall.
"An ceapann tú go bhfuil an fear sin san U.V.F.?"
"Ni ceapaim"

Genius, pure fuggin genius.

Why was Lieutenant Uhuru brown?

Cos William Shatner

kildara · 29-05-2009 12:08am

FruitLover wrote: »

どうして鶏はメビウスの輪を横切ったの？

同じ側にいくためさ。

byrner88 wrote: »

thats hillarious

Hirrarious?

Capt'n Midnight · 29-05-2009 11:23am

http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/

Capt'n Midnight · 29-05-2009 11:39am

Meiosis?

thebullkf · 29-05-2009 12:02pm

did you know that 60% of statistics are made up....and 30% of people believe that.

thebullkf · 29-05-2009 12:03pm

5/3rds of people don't understand fractions.

thebullkf · 29-05-2009 12:04pm

statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy

thebullkf · 29-05-2009 12:07pm

whats the diff. between an apple and an orange?

they're both green.

except for the orange.

WithCheesePlease · 29-05-2009 3:41pm

Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac?

He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

banjopaul · 30-05-2009 11:02pm

gearoid_healy wrote: »

Uhhh, I had to look that up.

Ok, this joke is crap but it fits the bill...

2 republicans are walking down the road in Belfast when they see a guy standing against a wall.
"An ceapann tú go bhfuil an fear sin san U.V.F.?"
"Ni ceapaim"

very good!

staker · 30-05-2009 11:08pm

Two lesbianns in a bath.
One says, "Where's the soap?", the other replies
"Does, doesn't it?"

Slidey · 31-05-2009 4:08am

Heard that before but it is class... ^

kumate_champ07 · 31-05-2009 4:17am

<snip>

kumate_champ07 · 31-05-2009 4:18am

<snip>

civis_liberalis · 31-05-2009 4:24am

I thought this thread was called "Jokes not everyone will get" and not "Stuff I read on Sickipedia".

I didn't get the UVF joke btw...

kumate_champ07 · 31-05-2009 4:29am

civis_liberalis wrote: »

Stuff I read on Sickipedia.

awesome i just googled that!

amacachi · 31-05-2009 4:36am

civis_liberalis wrote: »

I thought this thread was called "Jokes not everyone will get" and not "Stuff I read on Sickipedia".

I didn't get the UVF joke btw...

"An ceapann tú go bhfuil an fear sin san U.V.F.?" = Do you think that man is in the UVF?

"Ni ceapaim." Means "I don't think so." However it sounds like "kneecap him." When read with a northern accent.

Rabies · 31-05-2009 8:20am

posts snipped

read the charter

kumate_champ07 · 31-05-2009 4:51pm

Rabies wrote: »

posts snipped

read the charter

you didnt get the jokes?

Rabies · 31-05-2009 4:53pm

kumate_champ07 wrote: »

you didnt get the jokes?

I did.

You didn't read the charter.

zuroph · 31-05-2009 4:58pm

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A Fish.

passive · 31-05-2009 10:42pm

staker wrote: »

Two lesbianns in a bath.
One says, "Where's the soap?", the other replies
"Does, doesn't it?"

...I can't figure this out at all?

chin_grin · 31-05-2009 10:56pm

Or

How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side.

thebullkf · 01-06-2009 12:26am

passive wrote: »

...I can't figure this out at all?

wears the soap...wears it out????

i think!!!

mink_man · 01-06-2009 12:40am

wears the soap...wears it out????

i think!!!

i dont get it either still!

thebullkf · 01-06-2009 1:01am

mink_man wrote: »

i dont get it either still!

bumpin-n-grindingthe vag off each other,,

a clean joke:p

mink_man · 01-06-2009 1:11am

what does the soap stand for??

01-06-2009 10:31pm

chin_grin wrote: »

"What's the most important factor a comedian can have timing."

I sent that around to most of my mates....about say...60% texted back going "what?". Facepalm.

And another;

"Did you hear that exaggerations are up a million percent this year?"

I read one, "Today we did an exaggeration exam in school. We had to answer a million questions and if we got one wrong, the teacher killed us."

Capt'n Midnight · 01-06-2009 11:57pm

How did our old currency get it's name ?
It rhymes with bank manager.

aboutimeilogin! · 02-06-2009 12:09am

i just beat my son in a game of knuckles,
he's such a sore loser!

GiftofGab · 02-06-2009 1:58pm

thebullkf wrote: »

whats the diff. between an apple and an orange?

they're both green.

except for the orange.

Should it not be 'what have an apple and an orange got in common?

they're both green.....

except for the orange'

Pal · 05-06-2009 8:35am

passive wrote: »

...I can't figure this out at all?

use your finger

Jokes not everyone will get

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