Trying to conceive/Planned parenthood/Assisted Reproduction Chat thread.

Penny Dreadful · 17-12-2013 11:08am

So I went for my Day 21 progesterone test this morning. Told the GP when I ovulated according to the OPKs. He said that he was still happy to do the Day 21 test today. The result will be in on Friday so I'll have the full picture then.
The Day 3 bloods were fine, so far things seem to be ok on that front for me.

I have a print out of my husbands semen analysis here and the results are:
Volume 3.0mls
Sperm Count: 36.60 millions/mls
Immotile (IM): 54%
Non Progressive (NP): 21%
Progressive (PR): 25%

The WHO lower reference limits are:
Volume: 1.5ml
Count: 15 millions/ml
Motility: total Motility (PR + NP): 40%
Progressive Motility (PR): 32%

The GP said that while the PR in my husband's sample is below the lower reference limits the total (PR+NP) is at 46% it is over the WHO 40% lower reference that it was ok.

Wait and see for 2 weeks I suppose.
Who'd have ever thought 2 weeks would be such an interminable wait.

llambert · 17-12-2013 12:50pm

Lucuma wrote: »

I certainly did last night. Long story but we had wine delivered (Xmas gift from work) and our neighbour stole it, confessed and she turned up at the door last night with replacement wine so I took that as a sign from the gods and I fell off the wagon & pretty much polished off the red :eek: :eek:

Another dark night of the soul last night, i actually scared my poor hubby he was telling me this morning, he thought i wouldn't stop hyperventilating he said but he had to appear like he was calm to get me to calm down! We're both shook this morning but the way I see it is - I had to have that night - of wine, crying, whatever. I got it out of my system now and this morning I'm looking the idea of donor eggs in the face, and actually, don't feel that bad about the idea - is that weird? I mean at least you get to feel what it's like to be pregnant,your blood flows through the baby, you get to give birth and all that stuff. The biggest decision would be who to tell........do you spoof it and brazen your way through zillions of ''She looks really like you!" conversations?

It's alarming how we went from having donor sperm conversations to having donor egg conversations in the space of 1 day. I have to say part of me feels cheated in that if one of us had to have donor anything, it seems unfair it has to be me as hubby has already gotten to feel that feeling of having kids of your own, but after quickly passing through that feeling, of course I'd prefer if the baby was at least related to one of us - so if donor egg it has to be, then so be it. I'd be delighted if we could use his sperm.

lambert thanks for your kind words (And Tommee, Penny, Bobskii) I really appreciate it girls. It's a great support group in here xx

Think you really needed that blow out last night, God love your poor hubby. I think sometimes we try hide some of the craziness but he got it last night with both barrels!!

Its up to you who you tell if you decided to go down the donor route. Its not really anyone's business but at the end of the day that would be your child. You would be the one loving,caring & bringing him or her up. It would be your baby full stop. Sure how many times do you hear conflicting opinions of oh you look like your Mam or you look like your Dad. Baby will look like itself end of.

We haven't ruled out adoption though it seems even more difficult but if we did end up adopting then that would be my child and God help anyone that would say otherwise.

If you use a donor egg there's no shame in that. Make the right choices for you though remember in Ireland & UK its no long anonymous so I don't know if thats something that would bother you.

By the way you have a very strange neighbour!!

llambert · 17-12-2013 12:54pm

Lucuma wrote: »

I certainly did last night. Long story but we had wine delivered (Xmas gift from work) and our neighbour stole it, confessed and she turned up at the door last night with replacement wine so I took that as a sign from the gods and I fell off the wagon & pretty much polished off the red :eek: :eek:

Another dark night of the soul last night, i actually scared my poor hubby he was telling me this morning, he thought i wouldn't stop hyperventilating he said but he had to appear like he was calm to get me to calm down! We're both shook this morning but the way I see it is - I had to have that night - of wine, crying, whatever. I got it out of my system now and this morning I'm looking the idea of donor eggs in the face, and actually, don't feel that bad about the idea - is that weird? I mean at least you get to feel what it's like to be pregnant,your blood flows through the baby, you get to give birth and all that stuff. The biggest decision would be who to tell........do you spoof it and brazen your way through zillions of ''She looks really like you!" conversations?

It's alarming how we went from having donor sperm conversations to having donor egg conversations in the space of 1 day. I have to say part of me feels cheated in that if one of us had to have donor anything, it seems unfair it has to be me as hubby has already gotten to feel that feeling of having kids of your own, but after quickly passing through that feeling, of course I'd prefer if the baby was at least related to one of us - so if donor egg it has to be, then so be it. I'd be delighted if we could use his sperm.

lambert thanks for your kind words (And Tommee, Penny, Bobskii) I really appreciate it girls. It's a great support group in here xx

Think you really needed that blow out last night, God love your poor hubby. I think sometimes we try hide some of the craziness but he got it last night with both barrels!!

Its up to you who you tell if you decided to go down the doner route. Its not really anyone's business but at the end of the day that would be your child. You would be the one loving,caring & bringing him or her up. It would be your baby full stop. Sure how many times do you hear conflicting opinions of oh you look like your Mam or you look like your Dad. Baby will look like itself end of.

We haven't ruled out adoption though it seems even more difficult but if e did end up adopting then that would be my child and God help anyone that would say otherwise.

If you ue a doner egg there's no sane in that. Make the right choices for you though remember in Ireland & UK its no long anonymous so I don't know if thats something that would bother you.

By the way you have a very strange neighbour!!

Lucuma · 17-12-2013 12:56pm

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

I think any child, however it becomes "your" child will be so loved that ultimately the biology of the child and how it came to be your child fades in the face of the love and joy it brings you and you bring to it.
Donor egg, donor sperm, whatever, you carry that child and give birth to it I don't see how its not "fully" yours. If its adoption, you walk the halls with your baby when it won't sleep, when its cutting its first tooth, has colic, runs home from school after its first day with a painting for the fridge........its your baby, fully, completely, totally and utterly your baby.

Penny you're a wise old head on young shoulders dja know that!

Lucuma · 17-12-2013 1:08pm

llambert wrote: »

We haven't ruled out adoption though it seems even more difficult but if e did end up adopting then that would be my child and God help anyone that would say otherwise.

Been looking this up today. Seems a viable option - some new countries like Bulgaria and Thailand have been added to the list of countries that irish couples can adopt from. Vietnam was taken off (not sure if it's back on). Couple of things stood out - you have to be living in Ireland for a year before the application and they don't look favourably on applying while still undergoing IVF etc. So I guess you'd have to show that you had finished your IVF etc. But it does seem like a viable option (now I haven't a clue how hard it is really...there must be a forum or thread about it somehwere)

llambert · 17-12-2013 2:00pm

Lucuma wrote: »

Been looking this up today. Seems a viable option - some new countries like Bulgaria and Thailand have been added to the list of countries that irish couples can adopt from. Vietnam was taken off (not sure if it's back on). Couple of things stood out - you have to be living in Ireland for a year before the application and they don't look favourably on applying while still undergoing IVF etc. So I guess you'd have to show that you had finished your IVF etc. But it does seem like a viable option (now I haven't a clue how hard it is really...there must be a forum or thread about it somehwere)

You don't have to have finished your ivf its a very long process so if it was something you think of doing you can start getting your bits and picecs together.

You have to go to an information session before you can get an application pack. We went to one earlier this year and to say that I found it utterly depressing was an understatement.

Its true that there are only certain countries that Ireland can adopt from, 7 at the time with age hope that Thailand would open which it now has.

The approvement process can take up to 18 months and sounds like it really does pull your life apart. Rightly so but still not easy. The social worker that day said that the waiting list is approx 7 yrs and they were expecting that to grow because of countries closing with the Hague convention. Because of Hague its very difficult to get a child under 5. In 2011 there was 50 foreign adoptions and 22 domestic adoptions in Ireland. In Mar there was 800 approved couples on the foreign adoption list.

We really hoped it would be an option for us but have done nothing about it since. It was horrible that day. We were probably the youngest couple there that day and it seemed almost impossible. The rest of the couples(about 8) were closer to 40 and had obviously been spit out by the ivf machine and this was there last hope. You could just hear there hearts breaking. In the Q&A session after one man asked that the whole thing seemed impossible and the social worker said it probably is. She said most people drop out of the list because they get too old, that we'd be waiting for couples to do that and one day someone would be waiting for us to do the same. She said we should consider fostering.

Sorry hope this doesn't depress you but I focused on the ivf because that's hard enough without anything else.

Lucuma · 17-12-2013 3:02pm

llambert wrote: »

You don't have to have finished your ivf its a very long process so if it was something you think of doing you can start getting your bits and picecs together.

You have to go to an information session before you can get an application pack. We went to one earlier this year and to say that I found it utterly depressing was an understatement.

Its true that there are only certain countries that Ireland can adopt from, 7 at the time with age hope that Thailand would open which it now has.

The approvement process can take up to 18 months and sounds like it really does pull your life apart. Rightly so but still not easy. The social worker that day said that the waiting list is approx 7 yrs and they were expecting that to grow because of countries closing with the Hague convention. Because of Hague its very difficult to get a child under 5. In 2011 there was 50 foreign adoptions and 22 domestic adoptions in Ireland. In Mar there was 800 approved couples on the foreign adoption list.

We really hoped it would be an option for us but have done nothing about it since. It was horrible that day. We were probably the youngest couple there that day and it seemed almost impossible. The rest of the couples(about 8) were closer to 40 and had obviously been spit out by the ivf machine and this was there last hope. You could just hear there hearts breaking. In the Q&A session after one man asked that the whole thing seemed impossible and the social worker said it probably is. She said most people drop out of the list because they get too old, that we'd be waiting for couples to do that and one day someone would be waiting for us to do the same. She said we should consider fostering.

Sorry hope this doesn't depress you but I focused on the ivf because that's hard enough without anything else.

Woah.......I'm in shock lambert! I had read that the Hague convention had as serious affect on adoption in Ireland but I didn't realise why (thanks) and I had no idea the figures were as grim as that. 7 years ?! Those poor, poor couples at the information session. It must have seemed extremely pessimistic/pointless to say ye did nothing about it since. Well thanks for the honesty and clarity, stops me from getting false hopes. What a pity that they stopped allowing adoptions from countries not signed up the Hague convention (like Russia).

I'm starting to feel the only thing hubby & I have on our side in this TTC game (coz it sure ain't quantities of sperm or eggs!) is age.

llambert · 17-12-2013 3:19pm

Lucuma wrote: »

Woah.......I'm in shock lambert! I had read that the Hague convention had as serious affect on adoption in Ireland but I didn't realise why (thanks) and I had no idea the figures were as grim as that. 7 years ?! Those poor, poor couples at the information session. It must have seemed extremely pessimistic/pointless to say ye did nothing about it since. Well thanks for the honesty and clarity, stops me from getting false hopes. What a pity that they stopped allowing adoptions from countries not signed up the Hague convention (like Russia).

I'm starting to feel the only thing hubby & I have on our side in this TTC game (coz it sure ain't quantities of sperm or eggs!) is age.

Yeah its fairly depressing. Originally we had thought we'd go down the adoption route but had an open mind. Although we time on our side it just doesn't seem realistic.

When I said that you could do ivf and apply for adoption I wouldn't advertise that fact. I wouldn't wait till I was finished ivf if adoption was a serious option, garda clearance alone can take 3 months. Depends where your living it could take awhile to get a social worker assigned to your case, we were told potentially 6 months.

Yeah its terrible that there's so little countries open to Ireland. We were told that day you could get a younger child but you would have yo wait even longer.

Friends of ours adopted from Russia but are now at the stage where they have resigned themselves that they'll never be able to adopt again. Apart from Russia closing they said that they just couldn't afford it. They were great to us as they had been through it all before and were a wealth of info.

Hague was set up so kids would be adopted within their own country thats they have have to be 5 but its ridiculous, mist of these countries cannot afford to keep these kids and know there is very little chance of them been adopted. At 5 it's tougher I'm sure for the kids. Seems needless.

Lucuma · 17-12-2013 4:53pm

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

So I went for my Day 21 progesterone test this morning. Told the GP when I ovulated according to the OPKs. He said that he was still happy to do the Day 21 test today. The result will be in on Friday so I'll have the full picture then.
The Day 3 bloods were fine, so far things seem to be ok on that front for me.

That is really great news Penny

, must be such a relief. If progesterone isn't high enough in the result on Fri, you could always nip in on Friday and get one taken, that should be around your peak or at least closer to it.

Based on both of your results so far, maybe a bit of Clomid or something is all that will be needed to get ye moving (or maybe nothing - 2ww over Xmas - ouch!)

Penny Dreadful · 17-12-2013 5:01pm

Lucuma wrote: »

That is really great news Penny , must be such a relief. If progesterone isn't high enough in the result on Fri, you could always nip in on Friday and get one taken, that should be around your peak or at least closer to it.

Based on both of your results so far, maybe a bit of Clomid or something is all that will be needed to get ye moving (or maybe nothing - 2ww over Xmas - ouch!)

The good ol' 2WW. My period (should it arrive) is due anytime from Dec 27th - Dec 29th.
I'd so so so so so love to be able to take the test and as much as it would kill me to, keep it quiet until midnight on New Years Eve.
It would make the best of happy new year messages to be able to give to my husband.

If not well then I get on my back and try again:D:o

Lucyfur · 17-12-2013 5:31pm

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

I think any child, however it becomes "your" child will be so loved that ultimately the biology of the child and how it came to be your child fades in the face of the love and joy it brings you and you bring to it.
Donor egg, donor sperm, whatever, you carry that child and give birth to it I don't see how its not "fully" yours. If its adoption, you walk the halls with your baby when it won't sleep, when its cutting its first tooth, has colic, runs home from school after its first day with a painting for the fridge........its your baby, fully, completely, totally and utterly your baby.

One million times this. Really couldn't agree more

Also, I think people can grow to look like their parents, if that makes sense? I have a friend who is adopted and he is the image of his dad. People pick up on the mannerisms of people around them too. My son isn't my husbands biological child, but the two of them act so alike

TomeeTipee · 17-12-2013 7:24pm

llambert wrote: »

I'm still hopefully for a positive result Weds but feeling very much like I'm getting my period but I'm still in the game so Aunt Flos feelings can just f**k off.

Just wanted to say I've everything crossed for a positive test for you tomorrow x0

llambert · 17-12-2013 9:31pm

TomeeTipee wrote: »

Just wanted to say I've everything crossed for a positive test for you tomorrow x0

Thanks Tomee. Hubby up at 6.15 so will ve a very early test! No period yet so hopefully x x

angeldelight · 18-12-2013 12:45am

TomeeTipee wrote: »

Just wanted to say I've everything crossed for a positive test for you tomorrow x0

Same here, good luck llambert x

bobskii · 18-12-2013 12:53am

Definitely agree with you Lucyfur . same in this house and they are so alike it's unreal!

llambert · 18-12-2013 7:55am

Oh Christ can hardly believe I'm writing this but got a positive result this morning!!!!!!
Know I've a long way to go but I've waiting 3 and a half years to see those two pink lines so will enjoy this x x

Neyite · 18-12-2013 8:15am

llambert wrote: »

Oh Christ can hardly believe I'm writing this but got a positive result this morning!!!!!!
Know I've a long way to go but I've waiting 3 and a half years to see those two pink lines so will enjoy this x x

Massive Congratulations to you!!! Oh this is wonderful news!!!

bobskii · 18-12-2013 8:35am

Oh my god!!!!congratulations I'm so happy for you!

TomeeTipee · 18-12-2013 8:45am

llambert wrote: »

Oh Christ can hardly believe I'm writing this but got a positive result this morning!!!!!!
Know I've a long way to go but I've waiting 3 and a half years to see those two pink lines so will enjoy this x x

Massive congratulations to you & your husband!! Absolutely delighted for you! Was thinking of you this morning taking the test & really wanted to check in to see how you got on. Even though you are a stranger on an internet forum, it has actually made my day

llambert · 18-12-2013 9:03am

Thanks girls for all your best wishes. They really mean alot x x. Just got off Skype with my sister & Mam. They thought I was testing Friday, didn't want them worrying all night. Lots of tears.

Lucuma · 18-12-2013 9:26am

llambert wrote: »

Thanks girls for all your best wishes. They really mean alot x x. Just got off Skype with my sister & Mam. They thought I was testing Friday, didn't want them worrying all night. Lots of tears.

Lambert I'm on my way to work & checked in just to see how you got on. Congratulations!!! I second Tomee, it has made my day too :-) This is going to be such a special Xmas for you and your hubby !

Lucyfur · 18-12-2013 10:07am

llambert wrote: »

Oh Christ can hardly believe I'm writing this but got a positive result this morning!!!!!!
Know I've a long way to go but I've waiting 3 and a half years to see those two pink lines so will enjoy this x x

\:D/

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!

Congrats missus, fecking delighted for you

Penny Dreadful · 18-12-2013 10:45am

llambert wrote: »

Oh Christ can hardly believe I'm writing this but got a positive result this morning!!!!!!
Know I've a long way to go but I've waiting 3 and a half years to see those two pink lines so will enjoy this x x

Absolutely freakin' fantastic news! Huge congratulations to you Llambert. You'll have the best of Christmas times!
Really and truly delighted for you.

Penny Dreadful · 18-12-2013 10:48am

llambert wrote: »

Oh Christ can hardly believe I'm writing this but got a positive result this morning!!!!!!
Know I've a long way to go but I've waiting 3 and a half years to see those two pink lines so will enjoy this x x

Neyite wrote: »

Massive Congratulations to you!!! Oh this is wonderful news!!!

bobskii wrote: »

Oh my god!!!!congratulations I'm so happy for you!

TomeeTipee wrote: »

Massive congratulations to you & your husband!! Absolutely delighted for you! Was thinking of you this morning taking the test & really wanted to check in to see how you got on. Even though you are a stranger on an internet forum, it has actually made my day

llambert wrote: »

Thanks girls for all your best wishes. They really mean alot x x. Just got off Skype with my sister & Mam. They thought I was testing Friday, didn't want them worrying all night. Lots of tears.

Lucuma wrote: »

Lambert I'm on my way to work & checked in just to see how you got on. Congratulations!!! I second Tomee, it has made my day too :-) This is going to be such a special Xmas for you and your hubby !

Lucyfur wrote: »

\:D/

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!

Congrats missus, fecking delighted for you

Its almost like its the forum's baby a little bit isn't it:) Llambert I want to make you cups of tea, and tell you to sit down and watch tv and put your feet up and prepare healthy fruit salads for you to eat..............
Its nuts:)....................unless you have a nut allergy then you should stay well away from the nuts and quite possibly me too today.

Sittingpretty · 18-12-2013 10:48am

Yay! So nice to see your good news this morning lambert! Enjoy every second of it and CONGRATULATIONS Momma!

angeldelight · 18-12-2013 11:30am

Yes! Delighted for you llambert - checked in as early as I could just to see how you got on! Enjoy! xx

Lucuma · 18-12-2013 11:53am

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

Its almost like its the forum's baby a little bit isn't it:)

Or babies! :-)

Penny Dreadful · 18-12-2013 1:15pm

Lucuma wrote: »

Or babies! :-)

Thats true! It could be babies for everyone:)

llambert · 18-12-2013 5:26pm

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

Its almost like its the forum's baby a little bit isn't it:) Llambert I want to make you cups of tea, and tell you to sit down and watch tv and put your feet up and prepare healthy fruit salads for you to eat..............
Its nuts:)....................unless you have a nut allergy then you should stay well away from the nuts and quite possibly me too today.

Ha ha you are a little nutty. Feet are up and tea aplenty but have some yummy chocolates instead of salad but only for today.
Will be a very quiet Christmas I'll be in hibernaton.
Feeling very blessed. I hope that we all get the news one day that we long for. I was starting to loose faith but will definitely be saying a prayer to St. Anthony tonight.
Even though I discovered this forum a little late the support on it has helped, its like a group of cyber sisters.
Once again thanks for all the lovely messages. Have my early scan the 9th of Jan so not long to wait to see how many beans stuck!!

Lucuma · 19-12-2013 8:10am

Girls, I don't know what's going on but yesterday my period was due, and when it didn't arrived I was a little pee'd off (oh the irony!) because I knew i wasn't pregnant anyway as after my CD18 progesterone level of 35, I had a CD19 progesterone level of 18, which isn't enough to support pregnancy. I was ticked off because I'm supposed to be going into the Fertility clinic over here on Day 3 to give bloods, and I had just allowed enough time to do that on Friday before flying home for Xmas so if my period didn't arrive yesterday, Fri wasn't going to be Day 3 and it would be next month before I'd be able to give the bloods.

Anyway when it didn't arrive, I did a test and - BFP!!

:):eek:
You should have seen myself and my husband ''there's no line there what are you on about?'' 'no seriously, look at it in this light'' ''Where?!'' 'There!!' this went on for about 5 mins til the line got darker, then he accepted it! He was absolutely over the moon, like a man who's just won the lotto, jumping around, kept hugging me etc. I'm a bit more cautious - I know that progesterone falling like that isn't good - so I think maybe this is going to be a chemical pregnancy for us.

We went online and watched the opening credits to Look who's talking too (inspired by you Penny!) and then a more factual animation of what happens in conception, (it's amazing really) and I felt quite happy because no matter what happens this week, it's a fact that despite all the obstacles, against the odds, we conceived!

:D

p.s 2 more positive cheapies this morning

Trying to conceive/Planned parenthood/Assisted Reproduction Chat thread.

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