SPOILERS: 50 Reason not to see matrix reloaded

Even if you disagree with everything bad I've said about this movie, there's one point I think everyone can agree on: Keanu Reeves' ass does not need to be seen, ever. Not only do they show you his pasty white ass, they do it in the most contemptible way possible: right after a titty scene. They try to trick you into popping a boner, then WHAM. Keanu's corn hole.

That wasn't the end of it though, it turns out the cranky old hag across the street saw all of this going on, so she came over to do what women do best: bitch. When I opened the door she was standing there in a partly transparent night gown, and it totally ruined the prospect of having a boner for at least 50 years. I was just starting to change my mind about the night gown when she started screeching at me and her stupid cat that she was holding started to hiss. So I took the cat and punted it over my neighbor's fence. She started crying "oh no! My cat! What have you done with my cat?!" I was laughing my ass off, then the bitch tried to scratch me so I gave her a round house kick and dislocated her hip. I was laughing so hard I **** my pants.