Sexy street harassment

Zulu · 30-10-2014 2:08pm

I occurs to me that a very basic application of manners and common courtesy would entirely resolve these issues in general. If people treated each other with a modicum of manners and courtesy then this wouldn't be a problem. The problems occur when people stop being mannerly and stop treating others with courtesy.

osarusan wrote: »

But how do you know they weren't talking to their bicycle lock?:rolleyes:

It also occurs to me that the very people who are outraged by this poor behavior do not appear hold themselves to the same level of manners and courtesy during their online (and notably anonymous) interactions. I wonder would you be so snide and dismissive were I talking to you across a table in the canteen? I very much doubt it.

Instead of berating others actions, perhaps we'd be best to look at our own.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 30-10-2014 2:10pm

Zulu wrote: »

I occurs to me that a very basic application of manners and common courtesy would entirely resolve these issues in general. If people treated each other with a modicum of manners and courtesy then this wouldn't be a problem. The problems occur when people stop being mannerly and stop treating others with courtesy.

It also occurs to me that the very people who are outraged by this poor behavior do not appear hold themselves to the same level of manners and courtesy during their online (and notably anonymous) interactions. I wonder would you be so snide and dismissive were I talking to you across a table in the canteen? I very much doubt it.

Instead of berating others actions, perhaps we'd be best to look at our own.

You're too easily offended tbh

osarusan · 30-10-2014 2:16pm

Zulu wrote: »

Instead of berating others actions, perhaps we'd be best to look at our own.

Says the guy who insists people whistling at others is harmless and they're doing nothing wrong.

Says the guy who says people who feel uncomfortable at being whistled at are thin-skinned and looking for offense.

If this was the kind of stuff you would say to somebody across a table in a canteen, you'd probably be sitting on your own.

EDIT: And in case you think that last line is flippant, it's not at all. If I had this conversation with you offline, and you went calling people thin-skinned, suggesting they were desperate to find offense, misconstruing the intent of the whistler, who might not even have been whistling at them....I'd be sitting far away from you next time.

One eyed Jack · 30-10-2014 2:17pm

Zulu wrote: »

I occurs to me that a very basic application of manners and common courtesy would entirely resolve these issues in general. If people treated each other with a modicum of manners and courtesy then this wouldn't be a problem. The problems occur when people stop being mannerly and stop treating others with courtesy.

It also occurs to me that the very people who are outraged by this poor behavior do not appear hold themselves to the same level of manners and courtesy during their online (and notably anonymous) interactions. I wonder would you be so snide and dismissive were I talking to you across a table in the canteen? I very much doubt it.

Instead of berating others actions, perhaps we'd be best to look at our own.

I would completely agree with your above comments if I was just looking at a single post, but the above post when taken in the context of the rest of your posts, is utterly meaningless given the way you have throughout this thread tried to play dumb and made no attempt whatsoever to understand where other posters are coming from. You can hardly claim the high ground here when you've been purposely and knowingly winding people up and then pretending you didn't understand what you were doing.

Chunners · 30-10-2014 2:19pm

RobYourBuilder wrote: »

This is a beaut;

Translation for this who don't speak snake: they deliberately walked through poor sh*thole areas of NYC to get the results they wanted, that they're now trying to project onto middle class white people.

One thing I've noticed is that a few of you (you included) are trying to use the video to dismiss this as "well it was set up", "She went looking for it" "She's not even that attractive" etc but the fact is that the conditions the video were set in don't matter. It was filmed in New York so doesn't affect us here, what does affect us here is all the stories that woman have posted about this happening to them in Ireland. The video is not the topic, the video is just an example of the topic, a visual representation if you like, so whether she is only average looking or whether she deliberately walked in dodgy areas is irrelevant because the fact is (as is evident from posts) it happens here too whether you are walking down a dodgy area or not or whether you are just average looking or not. If we were to remove the video from the whole topic most of your ("your" as in all of you not "your" as in just you) arguments would redundant.

the evasion_kid · 30-10-2014 2:19pm

RobYourBuilder wrote: »

This is a beaut;

Translation for this who don't speak snake: they deliberately walked through poor sh*thole areas of NYC to get the results they wanted, that they're now trying to project onto middle class white people.

Its Hanna rosin ffs

There's an estate were I live which would make her feminist fantasy crumble in more ways than one.

sbsquarepants · 30-10-2014 2:22pm

Zulu wrote: »

Dunno. But they exist apparently. One was quite big in the charts last year. All part of the rape culture...

Once it's part of your culture it's fine!

A few years ago I gave a lift to a bloke I work with, his car was in the garage or something. Most of the journey home we're inching in traffic and it is one of the few times someone has genuinely shocked me. Every single woman that we passed it was all cringey "hey baby could jump in the back" or "blondie could you handle us both" and so on. This is a married man with 5 or 6 kids.
I was genuinely mortified and it takes a hell of a lot to embarrass me!

Neyite · 30-10-2014 2:27pm

Balmed Out wrote: »

The movie stereotype of whistling builders, has anyone seen that in real life?

Most building companies now have this sort of behaviour banned in their code of conduct in the staff handbook and staff can be disciplined for it, as essentially you are a representative of that company while on duty.

My partner worked on building sites during the boom and he and his colleagues generally held the view that it was derogatory and insulting to passer-by's. I remember him telling me a story about a new guy doing it to a woman passing and the foreman quickly bollocking him out of it for his actions.

I think its pretty rare in Ireland now but not all attributable to the slow-down of construction. Certainly its been quite a while since I heard a wolf-whistle or catcalls from a site.

Zulu · 30-10-2014 2:32pm

Paige Brave Poker wrote: »

You're too easily offended tbh

I'm not offended. Do you disagree with my point?

osarusan wrote: »

Says the guy who insists people whistling at others is harmless and they're doing nothing wrong.

Whistling is harmful, is it?

If this was the kind of stuff you would say to somebody across a table in a canteen, you'd probably be sitting on your own.

And yet amazingly I've a life rich with friends. Probably because my friends are sensible people who manage to get by with being offended too easily.

One eyed Jack wrote: »

I would completely agree with your above comments if I was just looking at a single post, but the above post when taken in the context of the rest of your posts, is utterly meaningless...
You can hardly claim the high ground here when you've been purposely and knowingly winding people up and then pretending you didn't understand what you were doing.

That's called trolling and that's not allowed.

Perhaps you could clarify: are you accusing me of trolling?

RobYourBuilder · 30-10-2014 2:34pm

Chunners wrote: »

The video is not the topic,

Eh, yes it is. The opening post was based on the video clip. Those that made the video delibrately selected certain neighbourhoods in NYC to ram home their predetermined point.

Anyone could do that. If someone spends ten hours walking through dodgy areas, then of course they are going to get hassel and abuse. From both genders.

FactCheck · 30-10-2014 2:35pm

Er, everybody saying (and thanking) comments that this is "just some ****hole ghetto hood" etc, have you ever actually been to New York?

She is very clearly in SoHo, Midtown, and Greenwich Village in some of the clips.

Those areas are not, for those unfamiliar with the city, ****holes.

RobYourBuilder · 30-10-2014 2:43pm

FactCheck wrote: »

Er, everybody saying (and thanking) comments that this is "just some ****hole ghetto hood" etc, have you ever actually been to New York?

She is very clearly in SoHo, Midtown, and Greenwich Village in some of the clips.

Those areas are not, for those unfamiliar with the city, ****holes.

15 out of the first 25 shots are taken in Harlem, 1 is in SoHo, 3 in Port Auth and 2 are from Times Square. 4 of the shots I can't quite make out.

sbsquarepants · 30-10-2014 2:44pm

Zulu wrote: »

And yet amazingly I've a life rich with friends. Probably because my friends are sensible people who manage to get by with being offended too easily.

As the saying goes, offence is usually more taken than given.

Dyr · 30-10-2014 2:45pm

So we start out here, which makes sense

Chunners wrote: »

Well actually it does, instead of saying "well you were lucky to get away from the situation" you basically asked "So is there something you think you could have done to avoid that situation?"

And then we take a massive leap in assumptions deftly defying the gravitational pull of logic and reason and land firmly in agenda land

when the fact is she shouldn't have to avoid the situation in the first place,

I shouldn't have to avoid falling asleep on the last bus home in case my wallet is nicked or worse but I do. Welcome to planet earth, as long as you're living among humans things that "should'nt" happen will happen.

you put the blame on her.

No I didn't.

Aaannnd, as always when you have someone basing an argument on a ridiculous assumption, we wind up going off the deep end into lalaland

You may as well have just said "well you knew he was a perv so it's your fault for not being more careful not his for following his primal urges" like honestly congratulations on making her feel crap about the fact that she should feel crap about going for a taxi and assuming that she could actually do that simple thing without being followed by a freak

here's the thing,

1) We shouldnt have to worry about being the victim of a crime and most of the time we don't.

2) When you ARE in a potentially dangerous situation then you should do your utmost not to allow the potential danger to escalate. This is in your own best interest

3) Even if you do make bad decisions in that regard and you wind up being a victim of a crime then you are not to blame for that, the perpetrator is. This should be obvious to everyone. But guess what? Regardless of who's to blame you're still the victim and you're still stuck dealing with the consequences. It's best to do whatever is reasonable and in your power to avoid that situation

This is logical, it may present someone who has an agenda with difficulties

Chunners · 30-10-2014 2:45pm

RobYourBuilder wrote: »

Eh, yes it is. The opening post was based on the video clip. Those that made the video delibrately selected certain neighbourhoods in NYC to ram home their predetermined point.

Anyone could do that. If someone spends ten hours walking through dodgy areas, then of course they are going to get hassel and abuse. From both genders.

No it isn't, it is a visual representation, an example of the topic, the topic is "Have any men or women here ever experienced similar?". We were asked if it has happened to any of us, we weren't asked if it has happened to us while walking around a dodgy area for 10 hours. If you want to be pedantic about it and be really really specific just to be an ass then fair enough thats your business but EVERYONE else here is answering the question they were asked in relation to their experiences in Ireland

FactCheck wrote: »

Er, everybody saying (and thanking) comments that this is "just some ****hole ghetto hood" etc, have you ever actually been to New York?

She is very clearly in SoHo, Midtown, and Greenwich Village in some of the clips.

Those areas are not, for those unfamiliar with the city, ****holes.

That is still irrelevant, we are talking about our experiences in Ireland not her experience in New York

osarusan · 30-10-2014 2:46pm

Zulu wrote: »

Whistling is harmful, is it?

When it's done in the knowledge that it's going to make feel somebody feel uncomfortable (or even with the intention of making them feel uncomfortable) it's far from harmless.

Seeing as you're taking this so literally, here's your earlier 'salient point':

Zulu wrote: »

There are two clear thing emerging here, and I think some people are guilty of confusing/blending the two which is causing (I believe) the lions share of the debate.

The first one is clear harassment. eg: following someone home or as per the video following them for 5 mins gawping at them.
These are not the actions of a normal, sane person. And as such can not be condoned. I challenge anyone here who thinks this type of behavior is acceptable to put there hands up now. (I suspect there's going to be resounding silence)

You say it's clear harassment, but what's wrong with it?

Walking down the road isn't harmful, is it? So what if a girl assumes I'm following her? That's the connotation she perceives, and that's her problem, surely.

And looking at something isn't harmful, is it? So what is the girl assumes that I'm gawping at her. That's her problem.

You said nobody would condone this behaviour, but taken literally and stripped of all context and intent, what's wrong with it?

Ficheall · 30-10-2014 2:53pm

Nearly 600 posts in and I still don't know whether it's okay to say "Hello" to a passing woman whom I think is attractive.

Similarly, since I'd possibly be hoping to eventually get into her pants and live happily ever after, I'm unsure whether or not this would make me a creep.

One eyed Jack · 30-10-2014 2:57pm

Zulu wrote: »

That's called trolling and that's not allowed.

Perhaps you could clarify: are you accusing me of trolling?

Seeing as you prefer to take everything so literally, I never accused you of trolling, I surmised that you were purposely playing dumb.

Now if you weren't actually pretending, that's another matter entirely.

brooke 2 · 30-10-2014 3:01pm

biko wrote: »

Done two years ago in Belgium too
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2012/aug/03/belgium-film-street-harassment-sofie-peeters

Now, that is harassment!

strobe · 30-10-2014 3:01pm

Ficheall wrote: »

Nearly 600 posts in and I still don't know whether it's okay to say "Hello" to a passing woman whom I think is attractive.

Similarly, since I'd possibly be hoping to eventually get into her pants and live happily ever after, I'm unsure whether or not this would make me a creep.

Hi, I'm actually on the council of the regulatory board for this kind of thing. I can confirm that according to the official guidelines it's perfectly acceptable both to say "hello" to an attractive woman and to do so because you want to get into her pants, and that this does not make you a creep. Glad to be of assistance, if you have further questions please feel free to revert back to us at your convenience.

Sincerely,
Strobe,
R. O. M. F. I.

30-10-2014 3:12pm

biko wrote: »

Done two years ago in Belgium too

As with the first video there is outright cases where you can call it abuse - especially people shouting whore at her or touching her. But there are also cases in the video where people on this thread will debate it.

From reading all the opinions in the video it is clear there is a continuum of things you can do or say to someone simply walking past you on the street. And there is a line on that continuum you should not cross.

But WHERE on that continuum that lines comes is an opinion that varies wildly across the thread. It is clear we all agree on the fact a continuum and a line exist - just not where it lies.

For example the guy who just says "Can I buy you a drink?" in this video here is probably going to illicit debate on this thread as to which side of the line he was on. But what grates me with him is that after she says no he demands "WHY?" off her.

Fair enough some on this thread would clearly debate whether merely asking to buy her a drink constitutes harassment or bad form or not - but subsequently demanding that she justify her answer - as if she must explain herself - and provide good reason for her rejection - that to me is not so debatable.

It was the same with the video in the OP. One guy made a comment on the girls beauty. Fair enough - users on this thread have debated the merits and demerits of this. But the same guy then goes on to demand a "thank you" from her for offering his opinion on her beauty - as if she is somehow expected to be grateful for it at all - let alone vocally.

As I say - there is clearly a line - and where to place it is the subject of much consternation on the thread - but there are also clear cases of people going WAY over it that I doubt many could debate too coherently.

Chunners · 30-10-2014 3:51pm

Ficheall wrote: »

Nearly 600 posts in and I still don't know whether it's okay to say "Hello" to a passing woman whom I think is attractive.

Similarly, since I'd possibly be hoping to eventually get into her pants and live happily ever after, I'm unsure whether or not this would make me a creep.

OK let me clarify it for you, it is perfectly ok to say "Hello" to a passing woman who you think is attractive and then keep on going about your business. Whats not ok is to say "Hello" and just because she makes eye contact for a millisecond assume that she wants you to follow her because she also thinks that millisecond of eye contact will lead to "eventually get into her pants and live happily ever after"

brooke 2 · 30-10-2014 3:59pm

kiffer wrote: »

I saw someone comment yesterday that 100 comments in 10 hours is only one comment every six minutes.
...
It takes me half an hour to walk from the luas to my home. On the way home the only people (unless I run into friends) who talk to me in the street are Chuggers... maybe one or two a day. Chuggers are immensely annoying.
Imagine running into a Chugger every 6 minutes.
In my 30 minute walk home that would be five chuggers.
And I don't mean the people standing with buckets shaking them I mean the "stand in your way, attempt to get eye contact, walk a few feet alongside you even after you've said no" chuggers.

That sounds awful.
For the chuggers and the men in the street passing comments the situation is in many ways similar.
Saying something to get a flicker of attention from a passer by is a zero cost action.
Otherwise literally no one would talk to them.
One guy could say "Damn, you're sexy" to a thousand women, annoying the crap out of half of them, irritating another 495 of them... but if five of them find him attractive enough to go "oh you..." and one of them sleeps with him it's been a success (for him).

Your last sentence is what it is all about! Implicit in a man's 'harmless' comment
to an attractive woman is the urge to get into her pants!! Her instinct that this is so
renders the 'harmless' comments from stroppy strangers unwelcome. After all,
little old women won't be subjected to this treatment, I'm sure!!

Barely There · 30-10-2014 4:22pm

I was walking down the street the other day when a very attractive woman said hello to me as I was passing.
I was very flattered and said hello back.

Turns out she was talking to a friend on a Bluetooth headset and thought I was a sleazy weirdo.

Chunners · 30-10-2014 4:28pm

brooke 2 wrote: »

Your last sentence is what it is all about! Implicit in a man's 'harmless' comment
to an attractive woman is the urge to get into her pants!! Her instinct that this is so
renders the 'harmless' comments from stroppy strangers unwelcome. After all,
little old women won't be subjected to this treatment, I'm sure!!

Well in all fairness how many men do you see walking down the street randomly saying "Hello" to little old ladies? or walking over to them in a bar and asking if a seat is taken and when she says yes sitting down anyway, or wolf whistling at them and saying things like "Hey sugartits damn you're hot"?

Duck Soup · 30-10-2014 5:19pm

Shoshana Roberts from the video, talking to a couple of media outlets about the video and life in general.

This first one is from the BBC.

Duck Soup · 30-10-2014 5:21pm

And this one from CNN.

Generic Dreadhead · 30-10-2014 5:26pm

And the Faux-Outrage Train Rolls On...
TOOT TOOT TOOT
All Aboard

smurgen · 30-10-2014 5:43pm

Cormac... wrote: »

And the Faux-Outrage Train Rolls On...
TOOT TOOT TOOT
All Aboard

Everyone falling for the American ****e as per usual. Did they ever find Kony or did that yank make enough money out of the outrage?

How Soon Is Now · 30-10-2014 5:59pm

Duck Soup wrote: »

And this one from CNN.

For a minute there i was thinking whats Oprah doing on CNN......

Wompa1 · 30-10-2014 6:05pm

Do lads get harassed on the streets? I've been hit a couple of times whilst walking. Not hit on, actually hit. Have had the usual, knack b@stard in my face with "ya all aye?" crap. It was usually at it's worst on a Friday night walking home from work with my uniform still on.

Also, been living in the US for a few years now. If I'm by myself without headphones in, people from a certain background will talk crap...usually guys who are on the street trying to sell something. They want you to stop and respond to them so they can sell you some crappy bootleg CD, 'used' laptops, Fake IDs or drugs or whatever they have. A few of the guys in this video looked like they were probably hanging on the street trying to find marks who might be worth selling to.

They just want a reaction. At least she gets compliments. I usually get mocked because I have grey hair, or I'm short, or I'm really white or I have a baby face. Or the one delightful gentlemen who told me I didn't have no swagger...

UCDCritic · 30-10-2014 6:17pm

Gone Drinking wrote: »

I saw this video this morning:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3mWt3cjN0Y

In case you can't watch it, its a montage of a woman walking around New York silently, receiving lots of random attempted chat up lines and some sexist remarks, based purely on how well she looks (In fairness, HOT DAYUM).

The video says at the end there was 100+ instances of verbal harassment during the 10 hour experiment.. I dunno, one of the ones on video was "Hey Beautiful, have a good day", would that fall under harassment? I'd be delighted if a woman said that to me when I was walking down the road :P

In fairness, there's one creepy guy who just follows her around for five minutes, this and a few of the comments are completely not on.

So what's peoples thoughts on this? Have any men or women here ever experienced similar?

This is the essence of feminism

Trying to make men feel guilty for being men, for not apologizing for their desires as a man

This video is part of a larger attempt to cut our balls off

And it's complete rubbish

Once again feminist have shot themselves in the foot

One eyed Jack · 30-10-2014 6:23pm

UCDCritic wrote: »

This is the essence of feminism

Trying to make men feel guilty for being men, for not apologizing for their desires as a man

This video is part of a larger attempt to cut our balls off

And it's complete rubbish

Once again feminist have shot themselves in the foot

I think most people see it for what it is - a poor attempt at highlighting an issue for women, but greatly exaggerating the effect to the point where unfortunately nobody takes their efforts seriously.

That everyday sexism site is merely a sliver of a representation of feminism though, it certainly doesn't come anywhere near representing feminism as a whole, and I think it would serve people just as well to maintain that same sense of perspective they claim feminism has lost.

Chunners · 30-10-2014 6:40pm

Wompa1 wrote: »

Do lads get harassed on the streets? I've been hit a couple of times whilst walking. Not hit on, actually hit. Have had the usual, knack b@stard in my face with "ya all aye?" crap. It was usually at it's worst on a Friday night walking home from work with my uniform still on.

Also, been living in the US for a few years now. If I'm by myself without headphones in, people from a certain background will talk crap...usually guys who are on the street trying to sell something. They want you to stop and respond to them so they can sell you some crappy bootleg CD, 'used' laptops, Fake IDs or drugs or whatever they have. A few of the guys in this video looked like they were probably hanging on the street trying to find marks who might be worth selling to.

They just want a reaction. At least she gets compliments. I usually get mocked because I have grey hair, or I'm short, or I'm really white or I have a baby face. Or the one delightful gentlemen who told me I didn't have no swagger...

So basically you agree with us all then that there exists some Irish males that make inappropriate comments? because thats pretty much what we have all been saying

Wompa1 · 30-10-2014 6:45pm

Chunners wrote: »

So basically you agree with us all then that there exists some Irish males that make inappropriate comments? because thats pretty much what we have all been saying

The bit you highlighted happened on a street corner in Tempe, Arizona....

Who's we? You got a turd in your pocket?

Not everybody is saying the same thing...

And yes, I do think some harassment happens in Ireland to everybody. Not just women, but men too. Not just gay people, different races etc. The kind of people who pick on one, would pick on anybody. They'll center on whatever it is they perceive that makes you different.

bodice ripper · 30-10-2014 6:46pm

UCDCritic wrote: »

This is the essence of feminism

Trying to make men feel guilty for being men, for not apologizing for their desires as a man

This video is part of a larger attempt to cut our balls off

And it's complete rubbish

Once again feminist have shot themselves in the foot

how sad that you feel that being an inconsiderate jerk is central to being a man.

somefeen · 30-10-2014 6:50pm

UCDCritic wrote: »

This is the essence of feminism

Trying to make men feel guilty for being men, for not apologizing for their desires as a man

This video is part of a larger attempt to cut our balls off

And it's complete rubbish

Once again feminist have shot themselves in the foot

I hate this video for a whole heap of reasons, but I cant believe anyone would think it was acceptable to shout things like that at a woman.

I keep my desires to myself and let them out when I know its not going to make anyone feel threatened (unless in a kinky way).

I hate the video as much as I hate the slimey bastards that actually do this kind of stuff.

RobYourBuilder · 30-10-2014 6:56pm

Wompa1 wrote: »

The kind of people who pick on one, would pick on anybody. They'll center on whatever it is they perceive that makes you different.

The only type of person these sort of scrotes won't pick on, are folk who look like they are willing and able to put them firmly in their place. Everyone else is fair game.

paddy1990 · 30-10-2014 6:58pm

UCDCritic wrote: »

This is the essence of feminism

Trying to make men feel guilty for being men, for not apologizing for their desires as a man

This video is part of a larger attempt to cut our balls off

And it's complete rubbish

Once again feminist have shot themselves in the foot

Agreed. Nobody is condoning street harrassment. I think most men are fairly socially calibrated enough to know when they are harrassing a woman and when they are not. Of course you get some idiots who harass men and women. I was standing on georges street the other day and got accosted by some gay guys. Not the first time mind you. I've had my ass pinched by women in clubs regularly, almost every time I go out to be honest. I have been approached and ogled a bit creepily by women I'm not attracted to. I have friends from asia and africa who get racist remarks every so often. I don't go and tar all women or gay men with the same brush and neither my mates tar all people as racist. Common sense really. Feminism has started to get a bit extreme. One of my friends was complaining today because she opened a door as she was leaving the bank and motioned for the guy behind her to walk out and he replied "ladies first" and insisted she walked out first. She felt offended by this chivalry.

Chunners · 30-10-2014 7:02pm

UCDCritic wrote: »

This is the essence of feminism

Trying to make men feel guilty for being men, for not apologizing for their desires as a man

This video is part of a larger attempt to cut our balls off

And it's complete rubbish

Once again feminist have shot themselves in the foot

Victim complex much? why is it that if a woman walks down a street and gets all these comments and says "this is not acceptable" it is "complete rubbish" whereas if a man says "Hey sugartits lets shag" it is just him "being a lad"? no one wants to cut your balls off but they don't want you tea bagging them with them either. Personally I don't care how big your balls are nor do I care if you are so insecure in their size that you feel the need to abuse me walking down the street just so all your mates pat you on your back and tell you that you did a good job thus swelling your nuts because lets be honest here you wouldn't do it if you were on your own and why? because you are not looking for validation from the female, sure you know she just going to walk away, you do it for validation from all the other males around you. It's not her attention you crave it is theirs.

Sure even now you are doing it, you are saying all this because you want other guys to thumbs you up and as such extend your e-peen and concrete your position as a "real man"

One eyed Jack · 30-10-2014 7:20pm

Chunners wrote: »

no one wants to cut your balls off but they don't want you tea bagging them with them either.

For this turn of phrase alone, this thread has been worth the head melt!

jill_valentine · 30-10-2014 7:27pm

One eyed Jack wrote: »

For this turn of phrase alone, this thread has been worth the head melt!

Truly the poetry of the Irish soul lives on.

paddy1990 · 30-10-2014 7:50pm

Chunners wrote: »

Victim complex much? why is it that if a woman walks down a street and gets all these comments and says "this is not acceptable" it is "complete rubbish" whereas if a man says "Hey sugartits lets shag" it is just him "being a lad"? no one wants to cut your balls off but they don't want you tea bagging them with them either. Personally I don't care how big your balls are nor do I care if you are so insecure in their size that you feel the need to abuse me walking down the street just so all your mates pat you on your back and tell you that you did a good job thus swelling your nuts because lets be honest here you wouldn't do it if you were on your own and why? because you are not looking for validation from the female, sure you know she just going to walk away, you do it for validation from all the other males around you. It's not her attention you crave it is theirs.

Sure even now you are doing it, you are saying all this because you want other guys to thumbs you up and as such extend your e-peen and concrete your position as a "real man"

Everyone agrees that harrassment isn't on. You're taking poor behaviour by idiots and attributing it to most men. The majority of people agree that harrassment isn't on. This video is a tool that is successfully manipulating women to view most men as harrassers when the majority agree that harrassment isn't on at all.

jill_valentine · 30-10-2014 7:51pm

paddy1990 wrote: »

One of my friends was complaining today because she opened a door as she was leaving the bank and motioned for the guy behind her to walk out and he replied "ladies first" and insisted she walked out first. She felt offended by this chivalry.

Hould on a second there horse.

Every time there's a discussion about feminism on boards, somebody wheels out the old canard about how "Oh, but I suppose I'm still supposed to hold doors for them though, eh?"

But when women do actually reject that, it's not okay either?

Which is it?

Chivalry is sexist. Mildly sexist, and harmful in mostly patronising and passive aggressive ways, but still sexist.

Piliger · 30-10-2014 7:52pm

UCDCritic wrote: »

This is the essence of feminism

Trying to make men feel guilty for being men, for not apologizing for their desires as a man

This video is part of a larger attempt to cut our balls off

And it's complete rubbish

Once again feminist have shot themselves in the foot

That basically sums it up. And yet another opportunity for hate filled feminists to post the kind of nasty hate posts here that men would get banned for at the drop of a hat.

paddy1990 · 30-10-2014 8:00pm

jill_valentine wrote: »

Hould on a second there horse.

Every time there's a discussion about feminism on boards, somebody wheels out the old canard about how "Oh, but I suppose I'm still supposed to hold doors for them though, eh?"

But when women do actually reject that, it's not okay either?

Which is it?

Chivalry is sexist. Mildly sexist, and harmful in mostly patronising and passive aggressive ways, but still sexist.

I have never and will never be chivalrous to random women so it's nothing to do with me personally. I just thought it was interesting that the guys chivalry and attempt to be polite was taken as a sexist insult. I don't think the guy was aware that he was actually insulting her in her mind.

RobYourBuilder · 30-10-2014 8:03pm

jill_valentine wrote: »

Chivalry is sexist. Mildly sexist, and harmful in mostly patronising and passive aggressive ways, but still sexist.

Most men, nay, most people will hold the door for a person behind them irregardless of their gender. It's basic manners and it's nice to be nice. If you think a dude holding a door for a girl is mildly sexist, that's your beeswax. But the problem rests with you, not the dude holding the door.

If I hop off my seat on the Luas and offer it to pensioner, am I ageist?

If I see my neighbour struggling up the stairs with her shopping bag and offer to take it from her, is that "mildly sexist"?

One eyed Jack · 30-10-2014 8:04pm

Piliger wrote: »

That basically sums it up. And yet another opportunity for hate filled feminists to post the kind of nasty hate posts here that men would get banned for at the drop of a hat.

And yet you're still here, despite your nasty, hate filled posts.

paddy1990 · 30-10-2014 8:07pm

RobYourBuilder wrote: »

Most men, nay, most people will hold the door for a person behind them irregardless of their gender. It's basic manners and it's nice to be nice. If you think a dude holding a door for a girl is mildly sexist, that's your beeswax. But the problem rests with you, not the dude holding the door.

What happened was the girl opened the door and then stood aside to let the guy behind her past first, such was the angle apparently. You know how some banks have weird doors. However, the guy stood his ground and insisted that she go first, saying "ladies first". So she walked out and held the door open for him, which he then walked out of. What struck me, as I said, was that the guy was in his mind probably just being polite and chivalrous and didn't realize that it was taken as a sexist insult.

jill_valentine · 30-10-2014 8:15pm

paddy1990 wrote: »

I have never and will never be chivalrous to random women so it's nothing to do with me personally. I just thought it was interesting that the guys chivalry and attempt to be polite was taken as a sexist insult. I don't think the guy was aware that he was actually insulting her in her mind.

Probably not, no, to be fair, like you say, I don't think he meant any harm at all, so it's no big deal.

But look at it from her POV - she's holding the door for him as a gesture of politeness, and he's rejecting it and making it weird. And why? Because it's a woman holding the door open for him, and to his mind it's supposed to work the other way. A lot of women don't really think twice about holding doors open for whoever's coming after them, male or female, so he's put her in a slightly awkward position out of the blue.

Like I say, I absolutely don't think he meant any harm, I think it was totally unconscious and if it happened me it wouldn't cost me a thought beyond "Huh, that was annoying. Oh Futurama's on!"

Sexy street harassment

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