I was late for work because..

Gannicus · 18-04-2015 12:34am

Got up late one bank holiday Monday about 5 years ago. Got outta bed dressed showered put my suit on and went to work. Half way to work I remembered it was a B.H. I turned the car around drove home and went back to bed (left my suit and shoes on) and went back to sleep for 3 more hours.

I was a supervisor in a newsagents when I was 18 and was charged with opening on a saturday morning. I got up on time got to work a little earlier than usual and standing outside the job when I realised I had no keys to open up. Had to go home get them and go back into work. shop opened nearly 2 hours late. Boss came in as one of the other lads rang him to say i wasn't there. He rang me and I explained what happened. I walked down to the office to apologise as it was my stupidity. As I got to the office door I could hear him laughing. He was looking at the CCTV footage and could see me at the door at 7am throwing a temper tantrum and kicking and shaking the shutters, going mad. He laughed and just said it was the funniest thing he'd seen in ages and it was clearly a genuine mistake.

mojesius · 18-04-2015 12:43am

Late for work is 915 for me. There is always half the team in later than me so I come up smellin' like roses

gizmo555 · 18-04-2015 12:56am

downonthefarm wrote: »

Keyzer wrote: »

My wife fell down the stairs... Always a good one to use.

Think Joe o Reilly used that one

Probably why he was convicted - he lived in a bungalow.

Satori Rae · 18-04-2015 1:31am

I got locked outside of my dorm room in a towel while the whole building was empty as everyone was on work placement. ....due to having no phone I had to wait three hrs for someone to come back to go get our RA to let me back into my room....then hop the earliest bus while trying to call work but realising I had just run out of credit.

Boss was pure mad at me and didn't believe me had to get a written letter of the RA to say what happened happened. .....I was hoping the whole being in a towel thing was embarrassing enough but nope.....

oh and knowing I wasn't on the road at that point and was bussing it. She said I would have to come back later to do the night shift so had to stick around wasting time for another few hours around the town to go back in to work.

Never forget my room key again though.

RobbingBandit · 18-04-2015 1:44am

ProudDUB wrote: »

Misadventures in gerbilling. (Google it. Not gonna explain it here.) Had to go to the emergency room.

Got that excuse from a waiter at a restaurant that I used to manage. He was a real party animal (no pun intended ) who always went out on the town after work. I was used to getting all sorts of excuses the next day, as to why he was late for work. But this one took the biscuit. He had a doctors note n'all. The doctor earned his pay check that night, that's for sure ! :eek:

Was the waiter named Mr Slave and his gerbal Lemmiwinks?

Dozer Dave · 18-04-2015 1:46am

swazzie · 19-04-2015 3:53am

Worked with this guy a few years back who was late for work at least one day, every week , sometimes hrs late.
His excuses were so crazy he'd forget and rehash an old one, weeks later or tell a story which contradicted an old excuse .
He told us once he was late because his cat got stuck under a bed and he had to get on four knees and coax it out- took two hrs .
Another time the cat was hit by his mother while reversing car, that vet visit took hrs.
Another one which was a bit sick- he was walking to work and a girl was about to jump off a bridge and he talked her down.
Then as luck would have it weeks later he talked a man down off same bridge.

He was the only person I knew who could manage to see a doc and get referred for a X-ray / scan straight away.

tomwaterford · 19-04-2015 7:36am

Forgot the clocks went back!!!
:O

Have been early as well for clocks going forward!!!

Mister Vain · 19-04-2015 7:46am

Trying to overtake 17 cyclists in a crappy 1.0 litre.

Son0vagun · 19-04-2015 9:12am

I work with a guy who was once ten minutes late for work because burglars had broken into his house and tied him up. Another time the same guy was 15 minutes late because his best mate just died in his arms!

I remember another guy who was late because he had slept it in, he was due to start at 12pm.

Sam Kade · 19-04-2015 9:19am

tomwaterford wrote: »

Forgot the clocks went back!!!
:O

Have been early as well for clocks going forward!!!

So you go to work late when you have an extra hour in bed and you go to work early when you have an hour less

The J Stands for Jay · 19-04-2015 9:26am

Sorry I'm late, I despise my job.

fathead82 · 19-04-2015 10:41am

In my current job (5years) iv only been late once. I told them I was halfway to work when I realised that I had my runners on, not my safety boots, I really just forgot to set my alarm clock.
Boss rang me a few weeks ago & asked me to come in 2 hours early, I told him I couldn't cos my uniform was just after going into the tumble dryer. When I did get in, he told me it was the best excuse he ever heard.

hopgog · 19-04-2015 10:58am

Once the tranny in work called in sick, heshowed up latethe next day also he said "women" issues and got off, asked the boss why him let him away with it he said he is not allowed to question it as it was sexist and he would get in trouble.

The tranny go fired a month later he never got told it was for using the "women" issues excuse as my boss hates that excuse as he is not allowed to question it, but he certainly wasn't going to take from a man in a dress. He just waited some time to fire him so he wouldn't get in trouble we had a great laugh.

tomwaterford · 19-04-2015 11:00am

Sam Kade wrote: »

So you go to work late when you have an extra hour in bed and you go to work early when you have an hour less

I got that arseways :pac:

You get the idea though :P

Irishmale0399 · 19-04-2015 11:16am

Have a student in working in my department at work on work experience....must say now he is the CEOs future son in law.

Well he arrived in last Wed. about 2 hours late. The team leader marched him into my office as its not the first time and well I asked the stupid question....Why are you late again???.....without going red he tells me.....
"The girlfriend joined me under the shower...gave me the mother and father off all BJs and well one think led to another and I am late."

30 minutes later I was in a meeting with the CEO and he asked what was going on that the little runt arrived 2 hours late for work yet again.....told him to ask the daughter......

Gillo · 19-04-2015 11:42am

As a manager years ago, I got a call one Saturday morning from one of the part timers saying he wouldn't be in, his excuse "I was out last night and I'm still hammered, if I come in you'll just send me home". I couldn't believe the brutal honesty and to be honest admired it so let him off.

My best excuse was, I was on time and walking to the train station when a f@&king seagull did a dump on me. The manager just pissed himself laughing.

Gannicus · 19-04-2015 1:16pm

A bloke I used to work with years ago used to get his Mam to call in sick for him and he'd be late all the time.

I was in the office with the owner one day booking some time off and the phone rang. He answered it said to the person on the other end "one second" and put the phone on loud speaker then "What can I do for you?" and the following conversation took place

The Ma: "Sorry to ring you Mr. Shop Owner but my blah blah won't be in to work today." He's not well at all."
Boss: "What's wrong with him? Is he alright?"
The Ma: "It's just a 24 hour bug he should be alright tomorrow"
Boss:"What a shame. He seemed alright when he was necking pints at half 1 last night in the pub with all the lads. Tell him he better come in to work now."
The Ma:".... (silence).... Okay... I'll tell him.
*she hangs up phone*

He's a 15min walk from work, you know yourself when you're hungover to bits it seems like an eternity. He came in absolutely dying, uniform all dishevelled and as soon as he gets in the door the boss comes out to him and beckons him to the office. He walk out two mins later and goes straight out the door. My manager went into the boss and said apparently the owner was sick of the amount of sick days blah blah has had and the fact that his ma keeps ringing in for him coupled with the fact that he was soo gargled he didn't remember talking to the owner in the pub the night before so the boss had sacked him.

I was late for work because..

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