First Date - Advice Needed!

smiler26 · 25-10-2008 3:35pm #1

Hi girls!

I need some help. I'm going on a date this evening, and I havent a clue what to wear. We're meeting early-ish for a couple of drinks.

Is jeans and nice top ok? Or too under-dressed? Oh dear God, it's my first date in ages and I'm freaking oout!:(

GirlInterrupted · 25-10-2008 3:40pm

smiler26 wrote: »

Hi girls!

I need some help. I'm going on a date this evening, and I havent a clue what to wear. We're meeting early-ish for a couple of drinks.

Is jeans and nice top ok? Or too under-dressed? Oh dear God, it's my first date in ages and I'm freaking oout!:(

Wear a skirt or dress is my only advice. And if you've got long hair, wear it down. Those two things are always remarked on in my experience.

Good luck.:)

smiler26 · 25-10-2008 3:56pm

Thanks GI - gonna run and frantically root out skirts/dresses from my wardrobe.

Oh the stress....

LolaDub · 25-10-2008 5:13pm

A casual enough dress i would say. If you're only going to a bar you don't need to look like you're off to a formal event. You're far better off wearing what you feel comfortable in. Girls who get dressed up and look so obviously awkward in a dress/skirt/heels don't look as attractive as someone who is comfortable in jeans etc i think. Good luck with it!

smiler26 · 25-10-2008 5:15pm

Thanks Lola. I agree. Found a dress, but I was already uncomfortable even sitting in my living room.

Back to jeans, killer heels and a black strappy top with some nuce accessories. Just need to straighten my hair now....

WIsh me luck. I can't believe how nervous I am.

x

minidazzler · 25-10-2008 5:19pm

Take a breath and relax, it will make you seem more attractive.

Dudess · 25-10-2008 5:23pm

Wear what you want to wear and what makes you look and feel good.

LolaDub · 25-10-2008 5:24pm

smiler26 wrote: »

Thanks Lola. I agree. Found a dress, but I was already uncomfortable even sitting in my living room.

Back to jeans, killer heels and a black strappy top with some nuce accessories. Just need to straighten my hair now....

WIsh me luck. I can't believe how nervous I am.

x

Ah thats lovely!

Just relax, sure its on ly going to be a few hours, if it goes badly you'll have something to contribute to our worst dates thread, if it goes well you'll have a great night hopefully! I find guys find skin attractive so maybe don't over accessorize? All the best!

smiler26 · 25-10-2008 5:27pm

Thanks everyone. I'm overweight at the moment, so makes things even harder. OK, so I have silver watch and silver chain with black pendant, so it's pretty simple.

Is black strappy top too boring? I have a nice pink one... would that be nicer?

4zn76tysfajdxp · 25-10-2008 5:44pm

Yes.

Dudess · 25-10-2008 5:57pm

smiler26 wrote: »

Is black strappy top too boring? I have a nice pink one... would that be nicer?

What we think doesn't matter - anyway you're gonna get mixed answers. There's no definitive answer to "which is nicer - black or pink?" What do YOU prefer/think looks nicer?

Weidii · 26-10-2008 1:01am

I'd feel uncomfotable to the point of being nervois if I wore a skirt/dress on a date, that's just me though, casual to the max.

metrovelvet · 26-10-2008 1:11am

The general rule is show leg OR cleavage but not both. Hope your datte went well.

MizzLolly · 26-10-2008 1:11am

I dont think there's anything wrong with wearing pretty dresses or skirts on a date. I always feel more comfortable if I know I've made the effort to look nice.

Cant stand when women pass comments about what I wear because they happen to be feeling insecure about what they have on them.

Wear whatever makes you feel boootiful!

smiler26 · 26-10-2008 12:13pm

Thanks everyone...

Ended up having a really good night. He was the perfect gentleman, opening car door for me, complimenting me loads. And we had a lovely kiss at the end of the night when he drove me home.

And then got a text from him after I got in home saying thanks and that he had a great night. I think I might be smitten

Wibbs · 26-10-2008 12:16pm

Result!:D

lolly22 · 26-10-2008 12:30pm

smiler26 wrote: »

Thanks everyone...

Ended up having a really good night. He was the perfect gentleman, opening car door for me, complimenting me loads. And we had a lovely kiss at the end of the night when he drove me home.

And then got a text from him after I got in home saying thanks and that he had a great night. I think I might be smitten

Hey Smiler, read your post lastnight, didnt post anything as I saw you got pretty good advise already and hey.........glad to hear it was such a great night for you sounds like a nice guy:) may you have many more great date's

*hugs*

BobbyD10 · 26-10-2008 12:35pm

smiler26 wrote: »

Thanks everyone...

Ended up having a really good night. He was the perfect gentleman, opening car door for me, complimenting me loads. And we had a lovely kiss at the end of the night when he drove me home.

And then got a text from him after I got in home saying thanks and that he had a great night. I think I might be smitten

Nice one...

smiler26 · 26-10-2008 12:43pm

Thanks! Yeah, he seems really nice. I'm not 100% sure what the etiquette for next step is. I suppose I sit and wait for him to call?

Zaph · 26-10-2008 12:50pm

Why? There's nothing wrong with you calling him.

smiler26 · 26-10-2008 12:53pm

You think? I dont want to come over too strong, but at the same time, I am gone past all the game playing as well!

Sorry for all the questions and thanks for all the advice so far. My last relationship was a mess, and my confidence is still totally dented after it.

x

Zaph · 26-10-2008 1:05pm

I presume you texted him back last night thanking him for a great evening as well? Even so, nothing wrong with you calling him and telling him that you enjoyed yourself and wanted to thank him properly as texts are so impersonal, and that you hope you could meet up again some time.

Now I'm sure someone will be along to advise you otherwise, but that's just my 2c and I wouldn't think any woman was coming on too strong if she called me the next day to tell me that.

smiler26 · 26-10-2008 1:09pm

Thanks. I think you're right..... I'm gonna call him.... Nothing ventured, nothing gained !

MizzLolly · 26-10-2008 2:09pm

smiler26 wrote: »

Thanks everyone...

Ended up having a really good night. He was the perfect gentleman, opening car door for me, complimenting me loads. And we had a lovely kiss at the end of the night when he drove me home.

And then got a text from him after I got in home saying thanks and that he had a great night. I think I might be smitten

Aww yay!! That's great to hear.

Best of luck

LolaDub · 26-10-2008 4:46pm

smiler26 wrote: »

Thanks everyone...

Ended up having a really good night. He was the perfect gentleman, opening car door for me, complimenting me loads. And we had a lovely kiss at the end of the night when he drove me home.

And then got a text from him after I got in home saying thanks and that he had a great night. I think I might be smitten

Dear Lord -RUN he sounds crazy!!!

Glad you enjoyed yourself

omb0wyn5ehpij9 · 26-10-2008 8:11pm

smiler26 wrote: »

Thanks. I think you're right..... I'm gonna call him.... Nothing ventured, nothing gained !

Exactly, so ring the guy. He wouldnt have drop you home or text you after saying he had a nice time if he wasnt interested, so you have nothing to lose

Latchy · 26-10-2008 8:22pm

Ah hh, the beginnings of a new romance ,isint it just marvellous (sigh)

smiler26 · 27-10-2008 11:49am

Well, I called him and he said he wasn't looking for anything serious, and that he thought I was lovely, but has realised he doesn't want to be with anyone at the moment.

Gutted

Wibbs · 27-10-2008 12:36pm

Ahh jaysus. Sorry to hear that. That's a pain to hear and I know it doesn't help much, but better to know now than later down the line. Plus you never know what's around the next corner. I know that sounds like the usual crapola, but it's true. It really is.

Put it another way, you put yourself out there and it didn't work as yet, but it will if you keep putting yourself out there. Maybe he just didn't feel it and that was an excuse, but maybe he's telling the truth. I've been there, but regardless, of what he said or feels, the end result is that he didn't get to be with you. That's his loss too.

I guarantee that there is some man out there at this very moment that you don't know yet that couldn't comprehend not wanting to be with you. There have probably been men in your past that felt that and they'll be there in the future. Take that to the bank

smiler26 · 27-10-2008 1:25pm

Thanks Wibbs. You're absolutely right - just gotta pick myself back up again

G86 · 27-10-2008 8:17pm

Aw no chick that sucks

I was reading your post this morning and was dead happy it went well for you, thats a bit of a mad turnaround for him to say that. But hey fair play for calling him, sure if you didn't you might still be wondering that the story was, its better knowing now so you can go out and find someone nicer

metrovelvet · 27-10-2008 8:26pm

Reframe it. It was rehearsal.

Zaph · 27-10-2008 8:32pm

smiler26 wrote: »

Well, I called him and he said he wasn't looking for anything serious, and that he thought I was lovely, but has realised he doesn't want to be with anyone at the moment.

Gutted

That's a bummer, sorry to hear that, but as has been said, at least you're not hanging around waiting to find out if he's interested in you. Better luck next time.

Last time I'm giving out advice around here!

GirlInterrupted · 27-10-2008 9:01pm

smiler26 wrote: »

Well, I called him and he said he wasn't looking for anything serious, and that he thought I was lovely, but has realised he doesn't want to be with anyone at the moment.

Gutted

Ah, I'm sorry Smiler.

b3t4 · 27-10-2008 9:37pm

I agree with metrovelvet. Rather than concentrate on the negative, highlight the positive. A date is a step in the right direction towards finding that elusive guy

The only way is up (hmm I now have that song in my head baaah!)

A.

SarahSassy · 27-10-2008 9:47pm

Ahh Smiler, thats a shame (for him

). Anyway, it was a ''practice'' date and you will be that much less nervous for your next first date.

LolaDub · 27-10-2008 10:00pm

Smiler you have no idea how much i envy you now. I really wish nearly every man i've dated had said that to me instead of dragging me along their rollercoaster of weirdness/psychoticness/beastiality/cheating/abusive/controlling natures/allergy to showers/dungeons and dragons etc. At times like this you should read the worst dates thread and see what you've escaped!

shellyboo · 28-10-2008 11:25am

Lol, bestiality. I really hope that was a joke Lola... for your sake!

Smiler, that's crap. I'd like to give him an auld smack for you. But better for him to tell you upfront, I guess.

kingtut · 28-10-2008 1:09pm

smiler26 wrote: »

Well, I called him and he said he wasn't looking for anything serious, and that he thought I was lovely, but has realised he doesn't want to be with anyone at the moment.

Gutted

aww I'm sorry to hear that

but hey at least you found out right at the beginning before your feelings for him got even stronger...

Sure there are plenty of nice men out there so go find your one who will impress you even more than him and hopefully he will be up for a relationship. Best of luck!!!

*hugs*

Latchy · 28-10-2008 2:18pm

Another dead romance ............over before it even began

Poloman · 29-10-2008 4:25pm

Just from a mans point of view:

Your better off you found out now than later and it was good practice.

As for what to wear: We dont care. Seriously. We get nervous too and we go on a date as we like you and are already attracted to you so dont worry about what to wear. We already think you look good

She Devil · 29-10-2008 5:37pm

Aww what a turnaround thread

... you are wasted on that guy hun, the effort will be worth it the next time xxx

smiler26 · 30-10-2008 8:32pm

Thanks again everyone. I'm so amazed and chuffed with how nice everyone here is. TLL rocks!

The good thing is that it actually boosted my confidence a lot (despite the ultimate rejection). Believe it or not, I feel like it's a good thing. And the weird thing is I got asked out by someone in work on Wednesday (I said no (kindly) though, as he wasn't my type).

I think it just proves to me that it's all about having self-esteem. I think I was after turning into a proper hard ass career girl. So lesson learned, and hopefully I'll find someone else soon.

But seriously though, thanks girls (and boys). For someone who doesnt post here a lot, I was totally touched!

JackieO · 30-10-2008 10:34pm

Just started reading this thread and thought it was going to turn into a lovely happy ending story. Unfortunately that wasn't to be the case. But, as others have said, thats his loss. It wasn't meant to be and he is to be commended for being totally upfront and not trying to string you along. I think that was probably somewhat helped by the fact that you called him and he had to think/act fast. In some ways text messages are a curse I think.

NOW, onto your next practice session Smiler. Nothing like a successful date to lift your spirits and your self-confidence. I mean even if it didn't go anywhere it could still be considered a successful date and its all part of the fun of trying to find that someone special. Makes them all the more precious when you do actually find them!!

LolaDub · 07-11-2008 9:33pm

shellyboo wrote: »

Lol, bestiality. I really hope that was a joke Lola... for your sake!

Smiler, that's crap. I'd like to give him an auld smack for you. But better for him to tell you upfront, I guess.

Not something i partook in, read manukahoneys worst date thread and you'll see!

Smiler, you should read it too, since what could have been with this one, hopefully you'll feel better!

First Date - Advice Needed!

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