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Am I being greedy?

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Comments

  • #52
    wakka12
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,786 ✭✭✭wakka12


    Joeytheparrot wrote: »
    Again it really isnt that simple. Both of those processes are not something you can do simply or quickly.

    Why is that?


  • #53
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,104 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    wakka12 wrote: »
    Why is that?

    Costs, Time, Processes

    With surrogacy there are huge potential costs (going abroad possibly 100,000 eur) and of course finding a surrogate mother can be extremely difficult and time consuming.

    With adoption the number of Irish children put up for adoption is tiny so there is a long waiting list in Ireland of potential adoptive parents. If you adopt from abroad you could be talking a cost of 20,000 or more and a long process of maybe 3-4 years

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • #54
    wakka12
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,786 ✭✭✭wakka12


    Joeytheparrot wrote: »
    Costs, Time, Processes

    With surrogacy there are huge potential costs (going abroad possibly 100,000 eur) and of course finding a surrogate mother can be extremely difficult and time consuming.

    With adoption the number of Irish children put up for adoption is tiny so there is a long waiting list in Ireland of potential adoptive parents. If you adopt from abroad you could be talking a cost of 20,000 or more and a long process of maybe 3-4 years

    Oh right, thank you! That does sound like hard work. I hope theres easier ways of starting a family for gay men by the time I think about having children :(


  • #55
    Plek Trum
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,075 ✭✭✭Plek Trum


    realdanbreen wrote: »
    Anyone who sees the above as being a problem should probably never have children.

    My point exactly - it can be hard at times with a sick / teething / unsettled baby and all you may want is a quiet house to settle the child and try and unwind some bit (finally) with your partner. Try doing this with another couple in the house who may have friends visiting / drinks / dinner going on etc would be near impossible. So yes, in response to your comment - if you think this would prove an issue then maybe it would be wise to rethink the practicalities of trying to raise a child in a 4 parent household.


  • #56
    Pride Before Ignorance
    Registered Users Posts: 38 ✭Pride Before Ignorance


    <snip>


  • #57
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,104 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Pride Before Ignorance wrote: »
    Update time people!

    The mother is PREGNANT! We just got confirmation via the pregnancy test today, a big positive symbol :):)

    So, when do I begin to put on weight :P :P :)

    Hmmmm

    It's early days. It's probably really unwise to start telling everyone.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • #58
    Pride Before Ignorance
    Registered Users Posts: 38 ✭Pride Before Ignorance


    <snip>


  • #59
    Ash885
    Registered Users Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Ash885


    Pride Before Ignorance wrote: »
    Can you muster up the willingness to show some bit of positivity to my news? Maybe even a congratulations? If it was a natural pregnancy you wouldn't be making the same comment.

    How about we treat it like a natural pregnancy then so? What Joey says is spot on. Three of my friends and family had miscarriages this month. All told us before the standard time due to excitement. It's only solid advice. Not a downer, just to air on the side of caution. To say the good news was amazing is an understatement; to say the result was crushing is also an understatement. Oh and btw they were all "natural" whatever way you want to take that...

    Congratz though.


  • #60
    Pride Before Ignorance
    Registered Users Posts: 38 ✭Pride Before Ignorance


    <snip>


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  • #61
    Ash885
    Registered Users Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Ash885


    Well if looking for some sort of gratification from strangers online is your thing mate, better now than never burst that bubble. Was only reinforcing Joey's statement very early to be telling. Take that what you want.


  • #62
    Pride Before Ignorance
    Registered Users Posts: 38 ✭Pride Before Ignorance


    <snip>


  • #63
    Pride Before Ignorance
    Registered Users Posts: 38 ✭Pride Before Ignorance


    Joeytheparrot wrote: »
    Ah here. I wasn't being nasty at all. Just saying it's a tad early to tell everyone! Seriously you've got some genuine advice regarding possible risks!

    Ok, fair enough. I shall retract my posts for now. Thank you all.


  • #64
    CramCycle
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 25,185 Mod ✭✭✭✭CramCycle


    Pride Before Ignorance wrote: »
    Ok, fair enough. I shall retract my posts for now. Thank you all.

    I don't think it was meant in bad taste. I was like you and I think the upcoming generation do generally rush in to shouting from the rooftops.

    I think the rule of thumb is wait 3 months before spreading the news.

    Also, no early scans, trust me.


  • #65
    LorMal
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,372 ✭✭✭LorMal


    Dear God, this guy is going to be a parent..........


  • #66
    Thetruth7
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7 ✭Thetruth7


    A child is not a puppy and can't be returned after xmas. IMO OP is too immature to become a parent. And I'm all for gay people having families of their own


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  • #67
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,104 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    I've just given 2 yellow cards for personalised attacks on the OP. Please can everyone discuss the points without resorting to name calling of the OP. Instead of telling the OP you think he is immature ypu could perhaps suggest things he might do differently etc.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • #68
    irish_dave_83
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 144 ✭✭irish_dave_83


    Questioning the maturity of the OP is ridiculous. He seems to be holding down a job and has a stable and social lifestyle. I had that before I had my kids and now it is just less social and I have less expendable income, like every other parent in history.

    Everyone underestimates the impact that having a child has on your life, absolutely everyone. It rearranges the priorities in your life, and not all are forcefully, most are by choice.
    At least the OP was thinking about it, and it appears to have thought about it properly, and I say congrats to him and the expecting mother.
    Probably a bit premature in telling everyone about the pregnancy, just in case everything doesn't go to plan, but it not the worst thing to do, it'll either happen or it won't.
    Hopefully everything works out.


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