Do You Like Being Single?

Neadine · 23-01-2012 10:04pm #1

Saw a similar thread in the Gentleman's Club.
Ladies, do you like being single or prefer being in a relationship?

I have friends who are very happy being single and really have no desire to change that, I also have single friends who are very focused on wanting to meet someone. But I also know one or two people who are in relationships and are miserable, but are afraid of the prospect of being single and on their own.

Novella · 23-01-2012 10:19pm

I'm very happily single at the moment. I'm happy in relationships when they're good. My happiness isn't based on my relationship status.

coco_lola · 23-01-2012 10:39pm

I'm happy being single ATM. I like being able to see my friends when I want to, have fat/lazy days, make plans at the last minute when I want. However, if I met the right guy I wouldn't be averse to a relationship. My life is always full, whether I'm in a relationship or single, a guy should enhance the life I already have, not make it, and I'm happy either way really!

fits · 23-01-2012 11:24pm

I would prefer to be in a good relationship than single, to be perfectly honest.

NomadicMe · 24-01-2012 12:16am

I am happy- I enjoy being single between relationships and seem to find a relationship to drift into when I want to. Not sure I am ready to settle so kinda enjoying playing the field

Babybuff · 24-01-2012 12:26am

yes

Blush_01 · 24-01-2012 12:42am

I am single, and happy.

I would like to have the perks of being in a relationship, but heaven help him, he'd have to be a patient man to put up with me at the moment, I have a lot of plans for this year, I'm trying to do a lot of things and there's nothing in my life that will give at the moment to fit someone else in. Not that I wouldn't try, for the right person, but he'd have to be flexible.

The only thing I'd really like is more nights out having the craic - all of my friends seem to be settling down (lots of engagements, weddings, babies... I still consider myself to be a baby most of the time!) but I figure it's better for these things to happen at the right time than to be forced - I'm all for the "What's for you won't pass you" philosophy. Not in a fatalistic way, but at the same time, no amount of pushing a square peg into a round hole will make it fit properly.

I really think being happy is the most important thing - in a relationship or out, if you're miserable, you're still miserable, whether it's alone or not.

Tigger99 · 24-01-2012 1:06am

Yes, for the first time ever I really do.

Actually its kinda funny. For the first time ever I genuinely don't want to be in a relationship and I've met someone that I really like. But Im resisting the temptation to contact him, as for me, at the moment, being single is more important, I feel so free and at peace, its hugely liberating. Im sure loads of people feel the same in their relationships, but I didn't so its a lovely welcome feeling.

candy-gal1 · 24-01-2012 1:15am

i love it tbh

being single is great, it the being heartbroken thing thats bad tbh.

i try to make the absolute most of both being in a relationship, if i am, and of being single.
that way ive got everything out of my system before getting into a relationship and theres no grass is greener attitude.
right now though i have a ton of plans, a lifetime todo list, and lots of options

, life is pretty great so far!

Sunshineboo · 24-01-2012 1:21am

Tigger99 wrote: »

Yes, for the first time ever I really do.

Actually its kinda funny. For the first time ever I genuinely don't want to be in a relationship and I've met someone that I really like. But Im resisting the temptation to contact him, as for me, at the moment, being single is more important, I feel so free and at peace, its hugely liberating. Im sure loads of people feel the same in their relationships, but I didn't so its a lovely welcome feeling.

This. Its the first time I've ever felt happy and content being single in such a long time since a bad break-up, I met somebody nice too but I decided not to pursue it.I agree with you Tigger in that its liberating, its like I've found peace with myself finally as cheesy as it sounds!

Caraville · 24-01-2012 1:28am

Honestly, no. I hate it. I like having my freedom and I have loads of friends but I'd prefer to have someone specific to share my time with. And pathetic and all as I may seem, as I get older it does get a bit more depressing- singledom never bothered me til the last 2 or 3 years.

I am grateful not to be in an unhappy relationship though, so it's not all bad.

Tigger99 · 24-01-2012 1:29am

Yeah its funny, I also thought this at peace malarky was a bit of a con, but I just feel so happy. Im single, my jobs a joke and Im broke, but really happy.

Ok, thinking about it like that Im now beginning to wonder if someone is smuggling waccy baccy into my brekkie

:D

Dudess · 24-01-2012 1:34am

I find it grand. It took getting used to for sure, but I'm very content with it now. And glad - because I didn't really like whenever I was single in my 20s. That said, meeting someone serious would be great too, but til then, I don't have a problem with it.

molly09 · 24-01-2012 1:40am

can I ask what ages approx is everyone here..............

I am in my early 30s and would love to be in a gppd relationship

Posy · 24-01-2012 1:53am

I'm 28 and single. Almost always been happily single, not a relationshippy kind of person.

However, I've recently started watching 'Sex and The City' and now feel pathetic and worthless about being 'alone'.

I don't spend my life hunting for my 'perfect match' or feel defensive and pitied about being single but apparently I should. If I reach 30 and I'm not married by then I'll just have to become a recluse or join a convent according to that show. :rolleyes:

guitarzero · 24-01-2012 2:10am

This thread is kinda confirming my notions on dating/relationships/men and women in Ireland. Most my mates are single but certainly not by choice, great fellah's too.

Do we not exhibit any characteristics that make you feel a sense of unfulfilled romance, intimacy, sex, etc? What about sex drive?

Like when I see a woman that I find attractive in some way I'm immediately reminded of being single and how it sucks. For a lot of women they seem fairly immune to this here.

I know women are now money earners so that aspect of dependency is gone, so was it mostly down to the wallet in the end? They also dont seem to rely to much on men for company as here the sexes are fairly polarized from high infants.

Babybuff · 24-01-2012 2:19am

mid thirties here. By the time I reached thirty I did have that realisation that ah crap I'm thirty and on my own but then I never did anything about it before then and I went hell for leather trying to make up for it. Six years later and quite a few casual relationships on and I'm more relaxed about being on my own. I just haven't met anyone that has inspired me to want anything more.
I have the kid (who's all grown up now) I've got my own place, I do the things I want to do when I want to do them and for all the time spent looking for someone I've ended up finding some half decent people who are now firm friends.
I'm not sure there is another half of me out there. I think I already had that and I don't really want to settle for anything less.

Tigger99 · 24-01-2012 2:24am

Guitarzero I think that you are missing the point a bit and reading a bit too much into this thread:).

Being happy single does not mean a person (man or woman) will never want a relationship or that they don't love sex, intimacy or sharing their life with someone. They are brill aspects to a relationship.

Also Im sure that there are many woman that aren't happy being single, you are generalising a fair bit there.

Not really sure where you are getting the wallet bit, but it was never top of my list of requirements in a man.

Posy · 24-01-2012 2:26am

I think I want to have a child at some stage but don't ever want to get married.
My mother was on her own- she was never married, so maybe I get the 'anti-marriage' gene from her. Even as a small child the idea of a 'big white wedding' made me do fake throwing-up noises!

Posy · 24-01-2012 2:27am

guitarzero wrote: »

Like when I see a woman that I find attractive in some way I'm immediately reminded of being single and how it sucks.

I honestly have no idea what this sentence is getting at.

guitarzero · 24-01-2012 2:34am

Tigger99 wrote: »

Guitarzero I think that you are missing the point a bit and reading a bit too much into this thread:).

Being happy single does not mean a person (man or woman) will never want a relationship or that they don't love sex, intimacy or sharing their life with someone. They are brill aspects to a relationship.

Also Im sure that there are many woman that aren't happy being single, you are generalising a fair bit there.

Not really sure where you are getting the wallet bit, but it was never top of my list of requirements in a man.

Of course, I only take this as a token to something I had already given a bit of thought about. Sure, this thread (nor any thread here) shouldnt be seen as an absolute testament to any matter. But having had a similar discussion a while back there was a tone of creeping apathy with (these particular) women getting into relationships here, I dont think thats too far off the point.

guitarzero · 24-01-2012 2:35am

Posy wrote: »

I honestly have no idea what this sentence is getting at.

Seriously?

Tigger99 · 24-01-2012 2:37am

I think he means that he sees an attractive girl, thinks hmm she's nice, Id like to go out with someone like her, god I hate being single.

Posy · 24-01-2012 2:48am

Tigger99 wrote: »

I think he means that he sees an attractive girl, thinks hmm she's nice, Id like to go out with someone like her, god I hate being single.

Okay, I just read it as 'I see an attractive woman and think, I hate being single, it sucks,' because then I figured isn't meeting an attractive woman the good part of being young, free and single?

:pac:

Babybuff · 24-01-2012 2:53am

That's how I read it too

candy-gal1 · 24-01-2012 2:53am

Posy wrote: »

I'm 28 and single. Almost always been happily single, not a relationshippy kind of person.

However, I've recently started watching 'Sex and The City' and now feel pathetic and worthless about being 'alone'.
I don't spend my life hunting for my 'perfect match' or feel defensive and pitied about being single but apparently I should. If I reach 30 and I'm not married by then I'll just have to become a recluse or join a convent according to that show. :rolleyes:

tbh i never understand the whole taboo thing about being alone/single at a certain age, it seems to be 30ish :rolleyes: , i mean if/when you get into a serious relationship that could be it then, forever and in love, so why rush it! enjoy your life now as free and single, cos you never know whats round the corner

eternal · 24-01-2012 2:58am

Boards can be creepy. I mentioned my status ages ago in one forum and some guy four months later on AH mentioned I was single. Plus I have had men contact me on here but as soon as I texted them and whatnot they pulled away.
I am now very adverse to talking about being single on here. I would like to meet someone though, but I probobly wouldn't have time for them realistically. I'm ill and trying to manage a degree.

candy-gal1 · 24-01-2012 3:01am

Posy wrote: »

I think I want to have a child at some stage but don't ever want to get married.
My mother was on her own- she was never married, so maybe I get the 'anti-marriage' gene from her. Even as a small child the idea of a 'big white wedding' made me do fake throwing-up noises!

exactly,

two things i was never into as a child, baby born and princess bride barbie :pac:
i prefered my barbies with the great apartment and tons of outfits, or my movie character models.

i mean id never rule anything like that out, but so far im still just meh about all that stuff

Posy · 24-01-2012 3:01am

eternal wrote: »

Plus I have had men contact me on here but as soon as I texted them and whatnot they pulled away..

That's never happened to me on boards.

eternal · 24-01-2012 3:02am

I genuinely believe that there are people on here who do nothing all day but stay on here reading posts waiting for you to trip up so they can pounce.

eternal · 24-01-2012 3:04am

Posy wrote: »

eternal wrote: »

Plus I have had men contact me on here but as soon as I texted them and whatnot they pulled away..

That's never happened to me on boards.

I have had a good few contact me out of the blue. Some were pure chancers but a few led me on, do not know why they bothered.

guitarzero · 24-01-2012 3:08am

eternal wrote: »

Boards can be creepy. I mentioned my status ages ago in one forum and some guy four months later on AH mentioned I was single. Plus I have had men contact me on here but as soon as I texted them and whatnot they pulled away.
I am now very adverse to talking about being single on here. I would like to meet someone though, but I probobly wouldn't have time for them realistically. I'm ill and trying to manage a degree.

You never know, the moment you least expect it a man could just come a long and announce you are single on AH.

eternal · 24-01-2012 3:12am

guitarzero wrote: »

eternal wrote: »

Boards can be creepy. I mentioned my status ages ago in one forum and some guy four months later on AH mentioned I was single. Plus I have had men contact me on here but as soon as I texted them and whatnot they pulled away.
I am now very adverse to talking about being single on here. I would like to meet someone though, but I probobly wouldn't have time for them realistically. I'm ill and trying to manage a degree.

You never know, the moment you least expect it a man could just come a long and announce you are single on AH.

Ah that is just what I said. Are you trying to be funny and not succeeding?

guitarzero · 24-01-2012 3:15am

Btw, I didnt know people were hittin up on eachother on this site:(, I thought it was strictly for smart arsery, smuggery, begrudgery and belittlery!

...off to spruce up my profile!:pac:!

guitarzero · 24-01-2012 3:16am

eternal wrote: »

Ah that is just what I said. Are you trying to be funny and not succeeding?

I thought it was funny, just not hahah funny:o

Babybuff · 24-01-2012 3:20am

Posy wrote: »

I think I want to have a child at some stage but don't ever want to get married.
My mother was on her own- she was never married, so maybe I get the 'anti-marriage' gene from her. Even as a small child the idea of a 'big white wedding' made me do fake throwing-up noises!

I was always afraid I would pass my own irrational fear of marriage (and the rest of the traditional stereotype stuff) onto my daughter and it turns out she's almost the total opposite. She had a hard enough time getting over her first love (at 16) and I really had to encourage her to get back on the horse. There was a guy who was madly in love with her after the fact and he was a really good bloke that I thought would be good for her but she had no interest in dating at all and she kept breaking his heart. I felt bad because I figured it was my fault for placing so much importance on being independent.

Two years on and she's very much smitten. I know they're still young but its scary how mature they both are with regard to relationships. He had an accident about a year after he started showing an interest and until that point she kept giving him cold shoulder, the day he got hurt she couldn't be consoled and I haven't been able to keep her away from him since.
Now they are planning everything together, college, marriage..kids! She's only 18 but they seems to have it all sewn up...as long as he does the all the cooking

(he comes fro a single parent family too coincidentally)

eternal · 24-01-2012 3:20am

guitarzero wrote: »

eternal wrote: »

Ah that is just what I said. Are you trying to be funny and not succeeding?

I thought it was funny, just not hahah funny:o

I had one guy chat me up and ask for a pic and me, like a fool did so. Only to not receive one back and then be told he had a girlfriend. I feel sad admitting that but it was a lousy thing to do and I never got to see what he looked like. Am more careful now.

guitarzero · 24-01-2012 3:33am

eternal wrote: »

I had one guy chat me up and ask for a pic and me, like a fool did so. Only to not receive one back and then be told he had a girlfriend. I feel sad admitting that but it was a lousy thing to do and I never got to see what he looked like. Am more careful now.

Well behind a computer screen is the best place for chancers so dont be harsh on yourself. Boards also has a good calibre of folks who you can get a good sense of so I could see why members might wanna hook up. I wondered if it ever considered having a dating element to its site but there are plenty of those around anyway.

eternal · 24-01-2012 3:44am

guitarzero wrote: »

eternal wrote: »

I had one guy chat me up and ask for a pic and me, like a fool did so. Only to not receive one back and then be told he had a girlfriend. I feel sad admitting that but it was a lousy thing to do and I never got to see what he looked like. Am more careful now.

Well behind a computer screen is the best place for chancers so dont be harsh on yourself. Boards also has a good calibre of folks who you can get a good sense of so I could see why members might wanna hook up. I wondered if it ever considered having a dating element to its site but there are plenty of those around anyway.

Yeah, thanks for that. Avoid AH though, amount of abuse I get on there is unreal.

guitarzero · 24-01-2012 3:53am

eternal wrote: »

Yeah, thanks for that. Avoid AH though, amount of abuse I get on there is unreal.

Gotta pick your fights carefully and sometimes being nice dont cut it. Hope the pic incident hasnt left you to cynical about folks though.

Redditor · 24-01-2012 3:57am

I like my own space, so not currently being in a relationship isn't bothering me all that much. Nice to be in one of course, but wouldn't lose any sleep over it now.

eternal · 24-01-2012 4:00am

guitarzero wrote: »

eternal wrote: »

Yeah, thanks for that. Avoid AH though, amount of abuse I get on there is unreal.

Gotta pick your fights carefully and sometimes being nice dont cut it. Hope the pic incident hasnt left you to cynical about folks though.

Hijacked thread alert. I can't be cynical I am doing college the second time as a mature student so have to remain open to all possibilities and sure I still hope to meet someone nice, i am a big softie. 3am softie time.

Dudess · 24-01-2012 6:09am

guitarzero wrote: »

This thread is kinda confirming my notions on dating/relationships/men and women in Ireland. Most my mates are single but certainly not by choice, great fellah's too.

Lots of women who are single and happy aren't single by choice either.

Do we not exhibit any characteristics that make you feel a sense of unfulfilled romance, intimacy, sex, etc? What about sex drive?

Are you asking single women do they not find these traits in men, hence they're single? People - women and men - are usually single because they haven't met someone with whom they want to be in a serious relationship.

Sex drive - being unattached to anyone serious doesn't rule out sex. For me anyway. Sure, it's not as frequent and it's not as good as with someone you love, but it still happens from time to time.

Like when I see a woman that I find attractive in some way I'm immediately reminded of being single and how it sucks. For a lot of women they seem fairly immune to this here.

Do they?

I know women are now money earners so that aspect of dependency is gone, so was it mostly down to the wallet in the end?

Mother of Jesus...

In conclusion: grown women who are single and not needy and devastated about it, and earning a steady income... aren't interested in men.

How about: they are, but just haven't met the right man, and until they do, they won't pine their life away and will enjoy it otherwise?

fits · 24-01-2012 12:38pm

Posy wrote: »

I'm 28 and single. Almost always been happily single, not a relationshippy kind of person.

However, I've recently started watching 'Sex and The City' and now feel pathetic and worthless about being 'alone'.
I don't spend my life hunting for my 'perfect match' or feel defensive and pitied about being single but apparently I should. If I reach 30 and I'm not married by then I'll just have to become a recluse or join a convent according to that show. :rolleyes:

Honestly, I do not get all the flak SATC comes in for. Samantha chose not to be in a relationship and was well into her 50's. Carrie got married at forty. Miranda was a career woman. Only Charlotte took the 'traditional' role.

None of them were sad and pathetic because they were single at thirty. I think this is the most misinterpreted misquoted show ever! and yes there are flaws in it but it can't be blamed for everything!

Personally, I'm into my thirties. I'm highly qualified and I live in a rural area because I love it. I have a very full life and am well equipped to lead an independent life. It doesnt stop me feeling lonely from time to time. Sometimes, I'd just love a hug.

southsiderosie · 24-01-2012 1:09pm

fits wrote: »

Honestly, I do not get all the flak SATC comes in for. Samantha chose not to be in a relationship and was well into her 50's. Carrie got married at forty. Miranda was a career woman. Only Charlotte took the 'traditional' role.

None of them were sad and pathetic because they were single at thirty. I think this is the most misinterpreted misquoted show ever! and yes there are flaws in it but it can't be blamed for everything!

Personally, I'm into my thirties. I'm highly qualified and I live in a rural area because I love it. I have a very full life and am well equipped to lead an independent life. It doesnt stop me feeling lonely from time to time. Sometimes, I'd just love a hug.

One of the main problems with SATC is that the show started with the premise that women could have rich, fulfilling lives even if they were single...but then the show ended with everyone in domestic bliss (ok, and Samantha just in bliss).

Vinta81 · 24-01-2012 2:30pm

I used to love being single and was a bit promiscuous for a while. But now I'm really in a state of mind to find someone, I keep picking the the wrong ones and I know they say what you want will find you when you're not looking but how can I not look? I'm sick of the club/bar scene I just want to find someone, all my friends are starting to settle down a bit and I'm like the lone wolf of the pack.

fits · 24-01-2012 3:24pm

southsiderosie wrote: »

One of the main problems with SATC is that the show started with the premise that women could have rich, fulfilling lives even if they were single...but then the show ended with everyone in domestic bliss (ok, and Samantha just in bliss).

Did it really? I dont remember that from it at all, and even so, it still left Samantha leading a rich and fulfilling life as a singleton, her choice.

Its a fairytale, I just dont understand why people blame so much on it!

Lia_lia · 24-01-2012 7:15pm

Yep, love being single. Not a relationship person at all. Much prefer being alone.

I never really get too close to people (anymore) because I have a bit of a fear of relationships. They turn me mad! Some people are so obsessed with finding the perfect partner and don't think they can be happy single. I personally find that outlook bizarre. But that's just me.

Posy · 24-01-2012 8:25pm

fits wrote: »

Honestly, I do not get all the flak SATC comes in for. Samantha chose not to be in a relationship and was well into her 50's. Carrie got married at forty. Miranda was a career woman. Only Charlotte took the 'traditional' role..

I know it gets a lot of criticism, as any high profile show will I suppose!
The last two episodes I seen involved Carrie having her birthday and despite being with her friends, just couldn't be happy because she was without a man and Miranda commenting at how everyone at a gathering obviously pitied her because she was probably the last single woman in her thirties left on the planet! Am I just oblivious to the 'stigma' of being single they keep going on about!?

I still think it's a good programme though- I like that Samantha is happy to be single and just have a good time. I wonder did she ever have a one night stand with Joey Tribbiani at some stage? :pac:

Posy · 24-01-2012 8:30pm

Lia_lia wrote: »

I never really get too close to people (anymore) because I have a bit of a fear of relationships. They turn me mad!

I get like that with my fear of relationships.

'HEY, HOW'S THINGS?
HAD A GR8 TIME THE OTHER DAY
SHUD MEET AGAIN SOON'

"What??? What does he mean 'how's things???' Jesus, why am I being interrogated like this? He wants to meet again soon?! But we JUST went out two days ago- why am I being suffocated like this!?" :eek: :mad:

krudler · 24-01-2012 8:49pm

Lia_lia wrote: »

Yep, love being single. Not a relationship person at all. Much prefer being alone.

I never really get too close to people (anymore) because I have a bit of a fear of relationships. They turn me mad! Some people are so obsessed with finding the perfect partner and don't think they can be happy single. I personally find that outlook bizarre. But that's just me.

I like the company, the getting to know each other bit, the giddy meeting someone new part, but I hate the stupid sh1t you wind up fighting about, the silent treatment, all the crap that goes along with relationships, right now I'm not in the place to find someone, nor am I looking, yet strangely women like this, the past few times I've gone out with a "I'm not bothered" attitude I've gotten chatted up, its mental!

Do You Like Being Single?

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