What do attractive girls think about being checked out by hopeless people?

Tasden · 29-11-2015 8:20pm

Precious flower wrote: »

I have them too, but I think they look weird.:o I couldn't believe when I Googled it and it actually had a name and is considered a sign of beauty!

Thank god I'm not the only one who thinks they look weird!

cantdecide · 29-11-2015 8:32pm

I can understand someone not getting the attraction but I don't get thinking they're weird looking. I'd love to know what people find weird about them

They can't be as weird as belly buttons...

29-11-2015 9:04pm

Azalea wrote: »

There shouldn't be negative reactions to mere glances, smiling, saying hi etc (although I know there are some women who react like right ***** if the man has the audacity not to be attractive to her). It should be taken as a compliment. She should be polite back to him, just not to the point of giving him the wrong idea.

The Backwards Man wrote: »

What does checking someone out actually mean? Like staring at them? I think staring at anyone is rude and a bit creepy, but that's just me

If someone smiles at me - I will always smile back. If someone makes eye contact with me, I will always smile at them.

I like smiling.

I regularly catch people staring at me though, sometimes when I catch them they smile, or look away, but sometimes they continue to stare which is really quite weird.

sup_dude wrote: »

You know what, I am attractive. It took me a very very long time to realise it (21 years). Not only had I myself convinced I was ugly by secondary school, but I had completely accepted it and was completely ready for a single life when I left secondary school after not one boy showed any bit of interest in me up until that time. I was the only person that year who didn't have a date for the debs. I was even bullied where my complete lack of boys was a favourite topic, so it was really solidified in my mind that I was ugly and that was that.
When I went to uni, it was a very weird experience. It was the first time in my entire life that I had ever had any attention from the opposite gender, and since I'm not trying to be modest in this post, I got a lot of it. It was overwhelming. I kept coming up with excuses for it such as it being dark in a nightclub or that they're just taking the piss, before eventually accepting it. I still didn't believe I was goodlooking as such. I mean, I had spent my whole life being told I had any looks at all by only my mother and family, but being told I was ugly by my "friends". However, after 4 years of it (including getting an amazing boyfriend), I was forced to admit that maybe I wasn't so ugly after all.
Now? Next week I'm going into a modelling agency in order to discuss a signing. It wasn't something I asked for, the agent found me.
So yes, I am attractive and I think the mentality this country (and a lot of others have) that someone thinking they're attractive is somehow wrong, is one of the main reasons so many young girls (and boys) have deep rooted insecurities. I don't mean bigheadedness or egotism or the "yeah, I'm just amazing", but I don't believe there's anything wrong with being able to admit that you're attractive. Heck, it took me years to be able to entertain the notion. Even now, I still get periods where my self esteem collapses again, but if I were to give into the idea that we shouldn't admit we're attractive, I would never come out of those lapses. I think this notion we put on ourselves that we shouldn't be allowed to think we're goodlooking, is one of the main reasons so many people have problems with how they look.

Well done on the modelling contract! Wow, that must be a fantastic feeling after spending so long thinking you were the opposite of a model.

I'm similar to you (not even close to model material!). I spent years and years thinking I was awful looking, fat and ugly. Then I put on a load of weight, and I was actually fat, and still thought I was ugly. Then gradually I drifted into "not ugly" and also lost weight. I now realise, that I wasn't fat back then when I thought I was fat (nor am I now), and I've not only never been ugly, but I'm actually fairly alright looking. It's a hard thing to try and convince yourself of when you've spent so long feeling like you're less than average.

It's funny really, that once I realised I'm attractive, I started caring less about whether or not I was attractive. I'm sure there's some psychology behind that.

Zen65 · 29-11-2015 10:39pm

Pac1Man wrote: »

I don't think I have ever smiled at a stranger in the street.

Perhaps you could try it for a day? You might be amazed at the difference it makes to your sense of connection to people.

paleoperson · 29-11-2015 11:09pm

Zen65 wrote: »

Perhaps you could try it for a day? You might be amazed at the difference it makes to your sense of connection to people.

dunno, as stated earlier it can freak people out a little. I will never use people in public as a playground for experiments, I'll only smile if I feel like it.

Also there are some places you don't want to even make much eye contact, nevermind going around smiling or things could escalate very quickly and they might end up making a different sort of "connection" to what you mean...

Jim Bob Scratcher · 29-11-2015 11:50pm

paleoperson wrote: »

dunno, as stated earlier it can freak people out a little. I will never use people in public as a playground for experiments, I'll only smile if I feel like it.

Also there are some places you don't want to even make much eye contact, nevermind going around smiling or things could escalate very quickly and they might end up making a different sort of "connection" to what you mean...

Yeah that's exactly what could happen. btw what the fook are ya lookin at ? :pac:

Katgurl · 29-11-2015 11:59pm

My brutally honest answer is that I love being checked out, it's one of the best things about being female. Our looks won't last forever, may aswell enjoy them while we have them. I always smile when I get an admiring glance, after all it's just a look, not a marriage proposal!

Pac1Man · 30-11-2015 1:09am

Zen65 wrote: »

Perhaps you could try it for a day? You might be amazed at the difference it makes to your sense of connection to people.

It's something that seems so alien to me that it would be so unnatural to even try.

I'd end up looking like this.

KingBrian2 · 30-11-2015 1:38am

Deleted User wrote: »

Someone's going to need to define "checking you out". Is it just staring like I think backwards man asked? Or is it something more?

Checking you out is a cursory glance of the female form.

cookiexx · 30-11-2015 8:17am

The thing is it's alarmingly common if you're female and in any way attractive. If you're in decent shape and your face isn't repulsive, let's say. Or average face and average weight but dressed and groomed well. You'll get checked out, glanced at, stared at, ogled up and down by every male in the room.

It's less exhausting to just accept is as part of life as a woman than it is to take offence at every lad you wouldn't look at twice looking your way for a bit longer than you find comfortable. It's a compliment at the end of the day, and a nod to the fact that people find you attractive.

wakka12 · 30-11-2015 10:49am

Deleted User wrote: »

Someone's going to need to define "checking you out". Is it just staring like I think backwards man asked? Or is it something more?

Theres no way to know, usually its when somebodys looking at you. But they could just be looking because you look like somebody they know or theres something behind you, so theres no way to define checking out..

cookiexx · 30-11-2015 11:18am

wakka12 wrote: »

Theres no way to know, usually its when somebodys looking at you. But they could just be looking because you look like somebody they know or theres something behind you, so theres no way to define checking out..

Ah you know though. Usually it's a pattern of men glancing frequently or staring or smiling or doing a double-take or head-turns-as-you-pass or the up-and-down stare or whatever. Most women will encounter that more than a few times a day depending on how frequently they're out and about and of course how they're dressed etc. At least it will be frequent enough for it to be obvious it's checking out, as opposed to every second man you cross staring because you look "familiar"

retro:electro · 30-11-2015 11:36am

I must be a right minger because I certainly don't get looked up and down and smiled at a few times a day! Then again I'm mostly in a world of my own and completely oblivious to what's going on around me

30-11-2015 11:41am

anna080 wrote: »

I must be a right minger because I certainly don't get looked up and down and smiled at a few times a day! Then again I'm mostly in a world of my own and completely oblivious to what's going on around me

Well if the latter is true, you're unlikely to be able to say the former for certain.

I on the other hand am always very aware of my surroundings.

kfallon · 30-11-2015 11:48am

anna080 wrote: »

I must be a right minger because I certainly don't get looked up and down and smiled at a few times a day! Then again I'm mostly in a world of my own and completely oblivious to what's going on around me

If you're the anna who put her pic up in Know Your Lookalikes then the first part of your post is certainly not true!

If you're not then I can't comment

Medusa22 · 30-11-2015 11:50am

anna080 wrote: »

I must be a right minger because I certainly don't get looked up and down and smiled at a few times a day! Then again I'm mostly in a world of my own and completely oblivious to what's going on around me

I was thinking the same, I certainly don't have people ogling me the whole time!

Though, like you, I'm usually daydreaming and not paying attention to anything or I'm completely in my own head so maybe I just don't notice (I hope :pac:)

cookiexx · 30-11-2015 12:08pm

id have fairly acute situational awareness, maybe because I've lived in lots of big cities and you can't walk around with your head in the clouds coz there's too much at risk.

i would've thought most women would be tuned into the male attention they get though, seeing as men generally dont tend to be as subtle as women do!

Wibbs · 30-11-2015 12:12pm

Women check men out too and obviously attractive men get checked out all the time. It's at a lower background level and it's nearly always much more subtle but it happens and fair play it's natural. Mind you men are usually completely oblivious to it. Women usually have to resort to sending up flares and semaphore.

the evasion_kid · 30-11-2015 12:17pm

women I'm convinced have radar, you can be driving down the road and checking them out and just at the last second they turn around and catch you.

Skoop · 30-11-2015 12:20pm

cookiexx wrote: »

id have fairly acute situational awareness, maybe because I've lived in lots of big cities and you can't walk around with your head in the clouds coz there's too much at risk.

i would've thought most women would be tuned into the male attention they get though, seeing as men generally dont tend to be as subtle as women do!

Women are far from subtle.

cookiexx · 30-11-2015 12:31pm

Skoop wrote: »

Women are far from subtle.

i'd say comparatively we are

I was having this convo with a male friend of mine actually. more often than not if a guy was in close proximity, i'd use my peripheral vision to check him out. so i could be sitting staring at a computer screen all the while copping a good look at the lad without him having any clue about it.:pac:

smash · 30-11-2015 12:33pm

cookiexx wrote: »

I was having this convo with a male friend of mine actually. more often than not if a guy was in close proximity, i'd use my peripheral vision to check him out. so i could be sitting staring at a computer screen all the while copping a good look at the lad without him having any clue about it.:pac:

I've been staring at boobs for years while being able to maintain eye contact.

beks101 · 30-11-2015 12:37pm

Deleted User wrote: »

It's funny really, that once I realised I'm attractive, I started caring less about whether or not I was attractive. I'm sure there's some psychology behind that.

I think you can just exhaust yourself with the self-inflicted insecurities to the point where fcuks are no longer given.

I'd say my 20s were a bit like that. The acute self consciousness and worrying about what people thought of me. Was I slim/pretty/good enough. I've massively enjoyed a more jaded and carefree approach to life in the last couple of years. Just a sort of "it is what it is" mentality. We get to enjoy our looks for a relatively short few decades and I'd never want to look back at 80 and think "jesus, you were a big ride and you absolutely hated yourself"

ThinkProgress · 30-11-2015 12:44pm

Wibbs wrote: »

Women check men out too and obviously attractive men get checked out all the time. It's at a lower background level and it's nearly always much more subtle but it happens and fair play it's natural. Mind you men are usually completely oblivious to it. Women usually have to resort to sending up flares and semaphore.

Yeah women generally are more subtle, unless they want you to see them checking you out... Then they're not so subtle. :P

But that's a deliberate action with a motive, so usually quite different to the male lack of subtlety. lol

I would be considered very attractive (since we're all being honest/frank about it here), but I do find it difficult/awkward when women flirt or stare at me...

Even if I was single it's still not something I'm totally comfortable with.

I think too many people are influenced by looks. I know it's natural in a lot of ways, but I wish we were less like that.

It's quite rare to meet people who are not heavily influenced by superficial things. Sadly!

Menas · 30-11-2015 12:49pm

ThinkProgress wrote: »

I think too many people are influenced by looks. I know it's natural in a lot of ways, but I wish we were less like that.

It's quite rare to meet people who are not heavily influenced by superficial things. Sadly!

But our nature makes us feel nice when we look at things that attract us. So looking at an attractive human makes us feel nice.

And human that I like looking at is probably not the one that many others will like.

I just think it is nature to check someone out and as long as you are not creepy (or drooling) then its ok.

smash · 30-11-2015 12:50pm

Menas wrote: »

I just think it is nature to check someone out and as long as you are not creepy (or drooling) then its ok.

Medusa22 · 30-11-2015 1:29pm

smash wrote: »

*hands you a bib* now you can drool to your heart's content!

ThinkProgress · 30-11-2015 2:39pm

Menas wrote: »

But our nature makes us feel nice when we look at things that attract us. So looking at an attractive human makes us feel nice.

And human that I like looking at is probably not the one that many others will like.

I just think it is nature to check someone out and as long as you are not creepy (or drooling) then its ok.

Some people's nature also makes them treat you differently based on it though as well. (although it's very hard to prove that sometimes)

It is natural to notice these things, I just wish it was less important.

I also feel bad when I can see someone likes me, but I have to ignore their attempts to flirt etc. I know it's part of life... but I feel bad every time.

Even though they might be beautiful and have good self-esteem, some people will still probably take it as a rejection and it might affect how they see themselves.

In that sense, checking someone out is not as harmless or trivial as it might seem.

harry Bailey esq · 30-11-2015 4:40pm

Wibbs wrote: »

Women check men out too and obviously attractive men get checked out all the time. It's at a lower background level and it's nearly always much more subtle but it happens and fair play it's natural. Mind you men are usually completely oblivious to it. Women usually have to resort to sending up flares and semaphore.

99% correct.This protocol is however,totally turned on its head in Waterford city.

Figbiscuithead · 30-11-2015 10:12pm

Wibbs wrote: »

Women check men out too and obviously attractive men get checked out all the time. It's at a lower background level and it's nearly always much more subtle but it happens and fair play it's natural. Mind you men are usually completely oblivious to it. Women usually have to resort to sending up flares and semaphore.

Well then you might convince yourself that women are checking you out all the time if you tell yourself they're not obvious about it!

:pac: Nah, it's true, we are probably more subtle about it alright, though that's not my intention. I tend to just look at a guy and continue to look over in his direction without even thinking if I find him attractive and nothing more. In my pulling days, I might've pretended I wasn't checking him out alright as I didn't want to freak him out, but day to day when that's not my aim, I don't attempt to hide it, though I'm not a drooling yokel about it either.

What do attractive girls think about being checked out by hopeless people?

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