Girls doing the asking?

LightningBolt · 17-11-2008 1:59am

farohar wrote: »

You do realise that you're guilty of sexism by expecting that men should do the asking, i.e. expecting that people should follow a specific role based solely on their gender.:p

Moonbay you feckin sexist ya:rolleyes:

CDfm · 17-11-2008 3:17am

Moonbaby wrote: »

I'm naturally shy, I do my best to face up to that feeling in situations where it pops up.
If I walked away because of it, I would consider that an act of cowardice on my part.
Because I was letting fear dictate my actions. Isn't that what makes a coward?

im very intrigued.

all this talk of gender wars and manhunts seems very aggressive and combative.Yet you say you are shy.

so if you read back what you posted would you ask you out? Or( put yourself in the situaion of a guy) would you agree to a date with you if you asked?

The other thing is - if you invited a guy out say to dinner would you pay?

IF you were to ask a guy out what would you do or invite him too. Surely - you have put more thought into it rather than hypothetical emotions of how you might feel -how would you go about it and why should your date say yes?

Maybe this is unfair but you seem to be coming up with loads of stereotype reasons not to ask. surely someone like you would want to be more in control of who they date andnot leave it all to chance.

17-11-2008 5:52am

Thaedydal wrote: »

May you find who and what you are looking for Moonbaby

If I end up with that look on my face...so best!

Reku · 17-11-2008 12:39pm

Moonbaby wrote: »

If I end up with that look on my face...so best!

I don't know... that dino looks pretty happy too... have to wonder if there were "special" fumes in the air when that picture was taken, or maybe they'd all just been snacking on some dodgy local flora.:p

Dublin_Andy · 17-11-2008 12:48pm

Thaedydal wrote: »

May you find who and what you are looking for Moonbaby

If only it was that easy...:D

Dec McC · 17-11-2008 7:29pm

Moonbaby wrote: »

I'm a big sexist bird

Tut, tut.

Acacia · 17-11-2008 7:56pm

I wouldn't have a problem asking a guy out. The worst he can say is 'no', and if he is particularly rude about it, then he wasn't worth it anyway. Same goes for when guys ask girls out.

I'm old-fashioned though- I would like to be proposed to, rather than do the proposing.

St Bill · 17-11-2008 11:19pm

Asking a man out/initiating contact with a man is all well and good and great for equality yada, yada, yada....but from my own personal experience, I think Irish men like to think that it was all their idea to ask a girl out/initiate contact. I think they get a bit scared when a girl approaches them....imagine a rabbit caught in headlights and you get the general gist. This is what I've observed anyway.
But then again maybe my beard is scaring them.....:pac:

CDfm · 18-11-2008 4:12am

Acacia wrote: »

I wouldn't have a problem asking a guy out. The worst he can say is 'no', and if he is particularly rude about it, then he wasn't worth it anyway. Same goes for when guys ask girls out.

I'm old-fashioned though- I would like to be proposed to, rather than do the proposing.

Is the reason lots of girls recoil in horror is at the paying bit on the first date.

Acacia · 18-11-2008 10:46am

CDfm wrote: »

Is the reason lots of girls recoil in horror is at the paying bit on the first date.

Should be split 50/ 50, in my opinion.

JaneyMc · 18-11-2008 11:23am

I have done this a few times, but after the last guy I did it with I said I wouldn't be doing it again.

The first few times it worked out okay, but with the last dude, I did the chasing which made me feel like I had lost any kind of power I had in the situation. It only lasted a month or two, swore I'd never do it again.

18-11-2008 1:19pm

CDfm wrote: »

Is the reason lots of girls recoil in horror is at the paying bit on the first date.

Hell no! People pay for themselves on dates. Unless it is something small like a drink or a cinema ticket, where the favour can be returned without fuss.

CDfm · 18-11-2008 1:47pm

Moonbaby wrote: »

Hell no! People pay for themselves on dates. Unless it is something small like a drink or a cinema ticket, where the favour can be returned without fuss.

ah yer joking.

I saw a first date thread -and it was sort of like I dont mind paying for the coffee provided that he pays for the flights to Paris. Not a direct quote as I cant find the thread.

I cant open my purse in case I break a nail territory.

Reku · 18-11-2008 1:51pm

Have to say I've known a few girls who would be rather insistant on either paying their way at the time or paying you back later, so while some girls may be like that CDfm, there are many others who are not.

JaneyMc · 18-11-2008 1:52pm

CDfm wrote: »

ah yer joking.

I saw a first date thread -and it was sort of like I dont mind paying for the coffee provided that he pays for the flights to Paris. Not a direct quote as I cant find the thread.

I cant open my purse in case I break a nail territory.

It looks like you are suggesting that every female does this?
Some do, some don't.
I don't, and Moonbaby is saying she doesn't either, as well as lot of other females on this forum.
Either way, sweeping generalisation.

CDfm · 18-11-2008 2:17pm

JaneyMc wrote: »

It looks like you are suggesting that every female does this?
Some do, some don't.
I don't, and Moonbaby is saying she doesn't either, as well as lot of other females on this forum.
Either way, sweeping generalisation.

I am not - but I do love making sweeping generalisations:D

But it is really nice to get invited out and be treated.

Dublin_Andy · 18-11-2008 3:50pm

JaneyMc wrote: »

I have done this a few times, but after the last guy I did it with I said I wouldn't be doing it again.

The first few times it worked out okay, but with the last dude, I did the chasing which made me feel like I had lost any kind of power I had in the situation. It only lasted a month or two, swore I'd never do it again.

now u kno how fellas feel, yet we mostly keep making the first move all the time. alot of women here like to play hard to get for some reason. maybe its fun i dont kno. but as i said before this has been goin on for years and years. nothin wil ever change it...

Acacia · 18-11-2008 5:14pm

CDfm wrote: »

ah yer joking.

I saw a first date thread -and it was sort of like I dont mind paying for the coffee provided that he pays for the flights to Paris. Not a direct quote as I cant find the thread.

I cant open my purse in case I break a nail territory.

:rolleyes:

Yeah, that was one woman's opinion. Not all women are like that.

MIN2511 · 18-11-2008 5:47pm

I have asked two guys out
1st guy: had/has a gf-I didn't know
2nd guy: He told me he's too old for me.

Since then, i let the guys do the asking... Old fashioned maybe but i don't like rejection(no one does) and i think most guys would think i am "gagging" for it if i asked them which isn't 'always' the case

18-11-2008 7:25pm

CDfm wrote: »

But it is really nice to get invited out and be treated.

Not necessarily, It would make me very uncomfortable on a date. My attention doesn't have a cost in euro.
Most Irish women feel the same way, from my observations.

Red Sleeping Beauty · 18-11-2008 7:52pm

I've never been asked out by a girl who had a girl make the first move or whatever.
Always wished they would as I bottled many situations where the only way anything was going to happen was if I took the plunge. Don't know why many women don't to be honest, unless the guy's an utter "cock sure, look at me I'm teh sex and I screw all the women" then the worst that can happen is you get a polite no.

Reason why I never did was I couldn't work out this signs business and have been the victim of many a "aww you're so nice and you're a super guy but lets just be friends".

/probably a predictbly cliched story that's probably already been posted

CDfm · 19-11-2008 2:21am

Moonbaby wrote: »

My attention doesn't have a cost in euro.

CDfm · 19-11-2008 9:30am

alan dunne 27 wrote: »

I've never been asked out by a girl who had a girl make the first move or whatever.

Reason why I never did was I couldn't work out this signs business and have been the victim of many a "aww you're so nice and you're a super guy but lets just be friends".

is it wise to post such personal details :eek:

maybe you need a makeover thread

do you have any women friends?

shellyboo · 19-11-2008 10:40am

Moonbaby wrote: »

Not necessarily, It would make me very uncomfortable on a date. My attention doesn't have a cost in euro.
Most Irish women feel the same way, from my observations.

My attention doesn't have a cost in euros either, but if a guy wants to pay for my dinner I'd bloody let him pay for my dinner. If I intended to treat a friend, male or female to dinner, drinks, cinema, coffee, whatever I'd be more than a bit hurt if they didn't let me pay. It's just a gesture, not a payment for services rendered.

I'm more than happy to split the bill on all occasions - it's only fair - but it's also only polite to accept a genuine offer to be treated to something.

19-11-2008 6:33pm

A date isn't the same as friend though.
I can't reciprocate if I decide to not see the guy again.
Like it or not some people will try to buy you, and that is usually because they aren't willing to give you something else, time wise or emotionally.
So I think it is better to be clear on where you stand from the start.
I'd expect a date to be respectful of my choices too, whereas I might not be if I wanted to pay for a friend.

Reku · 19-11-2008 6:38pm

Moonbaby wrote: »

Like it or not some people will try to buy you, and that is usually because they aren't willing to give you something else, time wise or emotionally.
So I think it is better to be clear on where you stand from the start.
I'd expect a date to be respectful of my choices too, whereas I might not be if I wanted to pay for a friend.

Indeed, I remember a post by a male boards member a short while back complaining about blowing well over €100 on a first date with a girl only to have her bunk off with her ex. He readily admitted he was hoping to bed her on the first date.

CDfm · 19-11-2008 7:16pm

shellyboo wrote: »

My attention doesn't have a cost in euros either, but if a guy wants to pay for my dinner I'd bloody let him pay for my dinner. .

Good on ya for fessing up:D:D

Vanbis · 19-11-2008 9:20pm

Vanbis wrote: »

Hi all,

It always seems that the guy generally do the asking if they spot a girl they like if out and about. I'm sure there are a few girls who have asked guy out when in a pub or clubs, but I'm just curious after reading another thread if there are many girls who have every approached a guy they have seeing out while on the dart/bus or in general really.

I should have added that i was asked out by a girl once before, i was kinda of shocked at first because i thought she was a bit young,( only 3years in the difference ) but we went on are first date to the pub and i can honestly say it was the best first date ever even though it only lasted a couple of months.

Faddymackshyte · 01-12-2008 4:07pm

I said I'd keep you all updated on how me asking goes!
Well I took the plunge and yup, we're gonna go out for a few drinks this week!
So it works, wahey

DiscoHugh · 01-12-2008 8:32pm

Funny this topic should come up...I got a text tudder day from a girl that read

"would you go out with me on a date if I asked?"

I replied "yes,I would"....and nothing since...I guess she was just curious, or had a bet or something

Lockstep · 02-12-2008 3:37pm

I;ve been asked out a couple of times.
I liked it, showed confidence and all that jazz.

amz5 · 02-12-2008 8:13pm

g'em wrote: »

Y'know, I think I'm going to employ this line of thinking for a while; asking blokes out has generally ended up in me cursing them for this very reason somewhere down the line.

And lol btw

So true. Yes, I've been there, but not worth it! I really think the whole hunting thing is programmed into guys....

Girls doing the asking?

Comments