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I have a different standpoint. Heckle me.

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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,964 ✭✭✭Sitec


    I read the original thread and the responses were sharp but at the same time this is after hours (home of the witty banter).

    OP, if you're genuinely feeling like this (and I know a lot of people are) seriously speak to a professional.

    Fair play to you letting thoughts out, that's the difference between complete isolation and dealing with a problem.

    Many Hands Make Light Work Chap


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 513 ✭✭✭dMaN24


    Yes.m,y mother is alive. But 3000km's away. The sound of the water is soothing. But cold.. I think i need help.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,721 ✭✭✭✭CianRyan


    Yeah people were being straight up rude snd quite cruel in the last thread.
    That's the problem with message boards, people can really separate themselves from what is very real on the other side.
    IMO, that shouldn't have been allowed go for as long as it did.

    The TV thing like, pathetic what they were like really.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,713 ✭✭✭HondaSami


    dMaN24 wrote: »
    Yes.m,y mother is alive. But 3000km's away. The sound of the water is soothing. But cold.. I think i need help.

    Yes you do and we are trying our best, you have made the first step by asking for help and there is help out there. Phone one of the numbers I linked now,
    Professionals can talk to you better than we can. If you are in the water get out of it now and make that call.


  • Posts: 14,344 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I'll regret putting this up, as a few real-life people know who I am on here, but sure, anyway..

    OP, if you're contemplating suicide, you need to get outside. Ring the Samaritans if you wish, but as a secondary measure, primarily: just get outside. Do something, anything, involving people (involving people is the point to stress!).

    I was horribly depressed a few years ago. Had left school early, lost touch with friends, had no job, every day was the same as the next, felt like I was going nowhere and genuinely contemplated suicide. Truth be told, it's a thought that'd still cross my mind when I have long periods of boredom (and unfortunately, although rarer, I still have them).


    I was obese, friendless, had no hobbies or interests and was too afraid to do anything. These days I'm still obese, relatively friendless, but thankfully have picked up a camera in the mean time and ended up getting into photography in a serious way.

    I started out photographing about the town at all hours of the morning (so I wouldn't bump into people, and could be on my own) and these days I rarely take a photograph that doesn't have a person in it. I love photos of people.

    I'd still be timid in that I won't do anything unusual or out of place, and I can't go anywhere without a purpose (ie; i can't just go for a night out to a pub or such somewhere, as I feel that everyone is just looking at me, even though I know they're not, and I can't make small talk with new people so I avoid it). Whereas with a camera strapped to me I feel I have a purpose to be places.

    The process of going from sitting at home in a horrible mental state, to today where I'm much more outgoing (though admittedly still not very outgoing and do feel very anxious at times) has taken about 6 years. Even today I look back at those six years as an utter waste. I could have done so much with that time and yet I did nothing (And continue to do nothing about negative aspects of my current life).

    Ringing the Samaritans is a good idea (though personally, when I felt depressed, I certainly couldn't bring myself to phone a stranger just to chat, so I don't know how useful that advice really is) but get outside. As silly as it sounds: my advice is to join a voluntary group/club.

    It's extremely difficult to walk into a room of strangers, I know that, so do what I did; find a group you like, and find someone involved in that group on Facebook (it's easy to send someone a facebook message :) ). Ask them about the organisation and what you need to do to join. People love to see others taking an interest in their voluntary efforts, and most voluntary units/charities, etc. welcome people with open arms.

    Get talking to the person and arrange to meet them at an upcoming meeting or event that the organisation have on. This way you've got someone to break the ice with and who will introduce you to other people within the group. You'll sit there in silence like a tit for a while, but you'll be okay. There'll be no real embarrassment (i say this because, obviously everyone has a different mindset, but I always had a sense of dread walking into places, like something horribly embarrassing was going to happen - but it never did).

    After a while your people skills get a bit better and you meet more and new people. It's a very slow process, but it happens.

    Alternatively, if you're unemployed: FAS! Fas Courses are an excellent, excellent way to meet people. You either get stuck in a room with people who have a similar interest to you and you can make small talk and over the duration of the course make friends, or you get stuck in a room with a bunch of people with no interest in being there at all, and you get to overhear and occasionally join in to some great banter.


    The first steps are extremely difficult. And I know first-hand that a post on the internet about what someone else did is easy to ignore and generally a waste of time. You don't know me, and I don't know you, so it's easy for me to throw out advice, but I will be honest, things always do get better, but it's a feckin' tedious process.

    Profile says you're from Dublin 8, and I'm not at all familiar with Dublin, but if you get in touch with a boardsie from your general area I'm sure someone would be happy to kill an hour or two with you to help get your mind off things.

    Alternatively, if you're in/around Drogheda at all, send me a message and I'd be happy to meet you somewhere. Sure, grab a camera and we'll do a bit of photography together :) (and this is a genuine serious offer, so if you're at all interested, even only mildly - send me a message).

    And if it makes you feel any better, Christmas day will be a tedious and boring day for a lot of people, myself included (I don't drink, and everyone just seems to get locked). Do what I do: Stick on Planes, Trains and Automobiles and take your mind off things for a little while. :)


    For the moment though, get into a nice warm bed. Get some sleep, and approach tomorrow as the fresh start that it is. I'd be lying if I said you'll wake up tomorrow and be the happiest person in the world, but it's entirely a mental challenge. Set yourself a goal of some sort, no matter how small, and accomplish it. Whether it's going for a walk or cleaning the bathroom, completing a TV series you're watching or buying yourself a DVD/Game/whatever, just set out to do something tomorrow. Ideally, do something to benefit someone else. I always found, and still do find, I feel better when I see someone else happy. Go out and get something nice for someone else. If you don't have money to be spending on other people (which is fair enough) then just help them out with something. Their reaction will cheer you up - I guarantee it :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 122 ✭✭Glenn Coco


    dMaN24 wrote: »
    Yes.m,y mother is alive. But 3000km's away. The sound of the water is soothing. But cold.. I think i need help.

    That's the first step dMaN24, now we just need to figure out what's the quickest way of getting you some help. Have you tried the numbers given, have you credit in your phone? If not 999 because this is an emergency. Is there anyone nearby that you can go to, or they can come to you? Thanks for updating us.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,872 ✭✭✭Sittingpretty


    dMaN24 wrote: »
    Yes.m,y mother is alive. But 3000km's away. The sound of the water is soothing. But cold.. I think i need help.


    I'm a mother. PLEASE think of your mom. Don't make her endure the horror of THAT phone call. I can tell you, if she knew her son was feeling like this she would move heaven and earth to take the sting away.

    Please OP, there are people that care about you. Even us few faceless people here, all awake for our own reasons.

    If you have been drinking, stop now. Wherever you are, get yourself home and into your warm, cosy bed. Eat something small and have some water and sleep a little. Promise yourself that when you wake and open your eyes you will look for some help to make your life easier, there is help, there are people that can understand and can help. You may not feel it now but there is a new start out there for you.

    Please, get yourself home soon :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 513 ✭✭✭dMaN24


    I'm home.
    Sorry for possibly messing up your christmas.
    I should go to bed now.
    The water was really cold.
    I wouldn't dare calling my mother at this stage.
    i feel stupid.

    Sorry.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 122 ✭✭Glenn Coco


    dMaN24 wrote: »
    I'm home.
    Sorry for possibly messing up your christmas.
    I should go to bed now.
    The water was really cold.
    I wouldn't dare calling my mother at this stage.
    i feel stupid.

    Sorry.

    Don't feel stupid! I'm delighted you're home, now get some sleep and I will too.
    Call your mother when it suits you, well done on getting yourself home. You've ruined nothing. Feel free to PM me at anytime, when you feel ready, I'll help in any way I can.
    Fair play for getting yourself home, and thanks for letting us know.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,390 ✭✭✭IM0


    In before the Lock......

    ah I wish you didnt bold it :( jokes work better when they are less obvious

    instead of a 10 you get an 8 for it for that reason


This discussion has been closed.
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