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Venues, Prices & All The Rest!

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  • 26-04-2014 12:38pm
    #1
    Liam McPoyle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,846 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all.

    I proposed to my other half during the week and she thankfully accepted so we have gotten the ball rolling on in terms of looking at budget, guest list etc.

    Our guest list stands currently at approx 140. Now this includes some people that are abroad at the moment so are unlikely to be able to attend aswell as about 10 people that we could probably snip if we needed to so Id be anticipating around 125 to sit down for dinner which isnt too bad all things considered.

    We are currently operating on anyone thats single not been offered a plus one. Ive been to weddings before that had this and personally had no issue with it but how do others feel about it? Herself was thinking it was a bit mean but Im of the opinion I dont want people there that dont know us or are only there for the sake of it so opinions on this are welcome.

    Venue wise its difficult to find prices online. I know that we wont know until we actually go to places and get into the bargaining side of it with numbers and what not but some guidance here would be appreciated.

    We are looking at a budget of €70 to €80 per person and love the look of places like Village at Lyons rather than "Hotel" style Hotels.

    Are we naive in terms of pricing matching potential venues? We were thinking about Brooklodge and I thought the prices were extortionate (minimum of about €100 per person for a summer wedding on a Friday or Saturday).

    We are going to try and visit Rathsallagh House & Tinakilly House over the coming weeks as we have stayed in both and really liked them so if anyone has suggestions in terms of similar venues we would appreciate it. Location wise up an hour in any direction from Saggart/Citywest area is doable.

    Also, if anyone has a steer on pricing that would also be fantastic. No point in us visiting places if they are over our budget, if people aren't comfortable with posting this information publicly please feel free to PM me.

    Id imagine I will be frequenting this forum for the next while so I apologise if the above has all been asked already!

    :)


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    #2
    Milly33
    Registered Users Posts: 8,638 ✭✭✭Milly33


    Congratulations to ye!! Well done she and you must be over the moon...

    Jes tis a dose to put it nicely trying to find the right venue, just one thing go with yer instincts. We had one placesmost defo in mind when we first got engaged twas the first we went to see and while we love going there it was like mmm I don't know if it will work, second one loved it from the moment we saw it and four more after it was all we compared too..
    We found there wasn't much to be haggled with, with places but then we didn't try an awfull lot of it.. We had our options down to two I rang the least work of the two and asked well what about this price and this price and there was no budging, even asked for extra rooms for parents and it was a no. Im not sure maybe if we pushed more they would have budged a little but I got the feeling of no..

    Things to watch out for aswell is if ye are having the ceremony in the hotel of venue see if they are charging for the room. I found it very cheeky that is seemed to be the norm that places although it is exclusively yours for the day charge you to use the room for the ceremony although you have the room anywho.. This charge is normally to put chairs up aswell nothing more..

    The guest thing, yeah tis a hit or miss.. I wouldn't be too bothered if I received a invite that was just for me if I was single but then if me as your friend would not know many other of your friends I might be reluctant to go alone..
    Depends on circumstances really..
    If all your friends know al the rest then why not,if not then Id say just put the plus one to save. You would be surprised a lot of people especially men would go alone anywhy, it is mostly women that would bring the plus one. Then there is the debate would you know most of the peoples partners are they not strangers so, uhh tis a toughie but do what ye like.. People have opinions about everything you will quickly learn what to do, how to do it, who to invite it goes on..

    One things it is yer day go for anything ye like once ye will enjoy it


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    #3
    painauchocolat
    Registered Users Posts: 133 ✭✭painauchocolat


    Coleman Slawski wrote: »

    We are currently operating on anyone thats single not been offered a plus one. Ive been to weddings before that had this and personally had no issue with it but how do others feel about it? Herself was thinking it was a bit mean but Im of the opinion I dont want people there that dont know us or are only there for the sake of it so opinions on this are welcome.


    :)

    We had a number of single friends from work and college at our wedding. We took the direct route and simply asked them if they'd like a plus one or not. All insisted on not! The general consensus was that it'd be too much stress between finding someone to bring and then having to 'mind' them for the day, making sure they felt included, etc. Everyone said they'd rather relax with old friends. Anyone with a partner got a couples invite. No one minded at all, or at least had enough tact to say nothing if they did!


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    #4
    clint_silver
    Registered Users Posts: 2,895 ✭✭✭clint_silver


    Lots of discussions on this topic on here, some quite heated, its all whatever you want to do, theres no right or wrong. You either do invite +1, you dont invite +1 or you ask them out straight to let you know if theyed like to bring a +1 as their single status may have changed come big day and they want to bring them.

    Up to you which you choose.

    as for venues, 100e per head might seem extortionate for brook lodge but dont look at it that way, they have their price structure and if they werent getting the 100e per head, then they wouldnt be charging it. They are at the upper end of the market so 100e+ is the going rate for that level. ballymagarvey, tankardstown etc in the same bracket

    village at lyons is a great spot for a wedding.

    youre doing the right thing sticking to budget.


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    #5
    Birdie086
    Registered Users Posts: 1,435 ✭✭✭Birdie086


    The time of year affected the venue we chose.

    We are getting married New years eve, so no point going for country house hotel with amazing grounds - the weather probably won't be great.

    We went for city centre, and found great value because of competition between the hotels in the city centre.

    I had never been to a wedding in the venue we chose but asked a girl I know from school who did and she gave me an enitre run down in email and was only delighted to do so as they got on great.

    We will also only be giving plus ones to couples, but we are giving people the option of bringing children.

    As regards people travelling from abroad, I had assumed my aunt who lives in Australia wouldnt be able to make it - her husband had been out of work for a year recently, but they are using it the perfect excuse to be here at christmas time!!


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    #6
    jlm29
    Registered Users Posts: 3,818 ✭✭✭jlm29


    The plus one thing can be contentious. If I was single, and invited to a wedding where I wouldn't know many people, I'd stay at home. Simples. If I was single, and I was asked to a wedding where all my friends would be, and they were single too, I'd be delighted to head off on my own. If I was single, and all my friends were paired off, i would nt go along Bevause I'd feel like a spare wheel. So keep your friends, and their situations in mind, and be a bit sensitive about it, in the case of people who won't know anyone.

    Also, a point worth noting- my mother is a widow in her 50s, and she really hates getting invited to weddings by herself- she never goes. - she too would feel like a spare wheel, because everyone else is usually in pairs.


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    #7
    painauchocolat
    Registered Users Posts: 133 ✭✭painauchocolat


    jlm29 wrote: »
    Also, a point worth noting- my mother is a widow in her 50s, and she really hates getting invited to weddings by herself- she never goes. - she too would feel like a spare wheel, because everyone else is usually in pairs.

    This is a really good point as well. We'd a couple of aunts who were widowed/separated and not in relationships. We invited them "plus guest" so they could bring a friend along and encouraged them to do same.


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    #8
    Sala
    Registered Users Posts: 1,494 ✭✭✭Sala


    Coleman Slawski wrote: »
    Hi all.
    We are currently operating on anyone thats single not been offered a plus one. Ive been to weddings before that had this and personally had no issue with it but how do others feel about it? Herself was thinking it was a bit mean but Im of the opinion I dont want people there that dont know us or are only there for the sake of it so opinions on this are welcome.

    :)

    You don't have to give everyone a plus one, but maybe be mindful that some people might need one? ie. if you have a bunch of single friends who'll all come together, grand, but what if you have an old friend from somewhere that knows no one else at the wedding? It might be nice to do a plus 1 for someone like that. I don't think it has to be all or nothing.


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    #9
    Milly33
    Registered Users Posts: 8,638 ✭✭✭Milly33


    that was the what a friend said going to a wedding he was offered a plus one but said sure then you only end up looking after them and making sure they are ok for the day so they would much prefer to go byself..Less hassle


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    #10
    Liam McPoyle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,846 ✭✭✭✭Liam McPoyle


    Thanks for the replies thus far guys.

    Re the +1, we were chatting about giving it to a couple of people that may need it but the majority of single people (well, currently single anyway) would know alot of those going so it wouldn't be a case of someone been left on their own. Re older relatives, there is one uncle and one aunt that are widowed but they wont need a plus one anyway.

    Time of year will be May/June next year so we will probably be at the most desirable end of the spectrum in terms of date and thus will likely have to pay a wee bit extra than if we were doing it earlier or later.


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    #11
    BabysCoffee
    Registered Users Posts: 4,712 ✭✭✭BabysCoffee


    Coleman Slawski wrote: »
    Hi all.

    We are currently operating on anyone thats single not been offered a plus one. Ive been to weddings before that had this and personally had no issue with it but how do others feel about it? Herself was thinking it was a bit mean but Im of the opinion I dont want people there that dont know us or are only there for the sake of it so opinions on this are welcome.



    :)

    IMO it is maybe not mean but perhaps a little insensitive to not invite a +1

    You are inviting your guests to have a good time. Let the single person choose whether they would have a good time bringing a +1 or coming alone. Don't make that choice for them. If you put your guests first you won't go wrong!


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    #12
    BabysCoffee
    Registered Users Posts: 4,712 ✭✭✭BabysCoffee


    Coleman Slawski wrote: »
    Thanks for the replies thus far guys.

    Re the +1, we were chatting about giving it to a couple of people that may need it but the majority of single people (well, currently single anyway) would know alot of those going so it wouldn't be a case of someone been left on their own. Re older relatives, there is one uncle and one aunt that are widowed but they wont need a plus one anyway.

    .

    :eek:
    Definitely give a +1 to the widowed people. Inviting them on their own will probably only compound the fact that their partner is dead. They may find weddings hard on their own and might find it easier if they bring along a friend.


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    #13
    jlm29
    Registered Users Posts: 3,818 ✭✭✭jlm29


    BabysCoffee wrote: »
    :eek:
    Definitely give a +1 to the widowed people. Inviting them on their own will probably only compound the fact that their partner is dead. They may find weddings hard on their own and might find it easier if they bring along a friend.

    I made that face when I read the line "they won't need a +1 anyhow"


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    #14
    Flippyfloppy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,748 ✭✭✭Flippyfloppy


    Are you absolutely 100% sure that all the people who are single actually aren't dating somebody?

    Also is there anyone that you have earmarked as single who wouldn't know any other guests and might feel awkward coming alone?

    At our wedding we have plus ones, sons people brought people for moral support but the majority didn't bring anyone at all.


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    #15
    Liam McPoyle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,846 ✭✭✭✭Liam McPoyle


    jlm29 wrote: »
    I made that face when I read the line "they won't need a +1 anyhow"

    I know them both well and neither would bring anyone or want to bring anyone, they will know most people there, I know that for a fact hence my "they wont need a +1", nothing to do with insensitivity.

    We have a few earmarked that we will likely offer a +1 to and of course between now and the wedding peoples circumstances may change.

    We reckon we will take painauchocolat's suggestion and simply ask when the time comes for the invites to go out.


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    #16
    Shedite27
    Registered Users Posts: 9,368 ✭✭✭Shedite27


    Coleman Slawski wrote: »
    Are we naive in terms of pricing matching potential venues? We were thinking about Brooklodge and I thought the prices were extortionate (minimum of about €100 per person for a summer wedding on a Friday or Saturday).

    We are going to try and visit Rathsallagh House & Tinakilly House over the coming weeks as we have stayed in both and really liked them so if anyone has suggestions in terms of similar venues we would appreciate it.
    Tinakilly is out of your budget. We liked the look of it too but their prices for 2015 don't come under €100


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    #17
    Flippyfloppy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,748 ✭✭✭Flippyfloppy


    How mmuch is Village at Lyons does anyone know?


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    #18
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    Flippyfloppy wrote: »
    How mmuch is Village at Lyons does anyone know?

    For high season you're looking at 100 a head for a weekend wedding. It's a very expensive place, but fab for a wedding.


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    #19
    Flippyfloppy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,748 ✭✭✭Flippyfloppy


    lazygal wrote: »
    For high season you're looking at 100 a head for a weekend wedding. It's a very expensive place, but fab for a wedding.

    Ah interesting. We never looked into having our wedding there and I always wondered what it would have cost!


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    #20
    kkcatlou
    Registered Users Posts: 332 ✭✭kkcatlou


    We started out naively with a budget like yours but once we had decided we didn't want a hotel venue, we knew there was no hope of getting anything at under €100 per head! We decided it was worth the extra though, but have had to make cuts elsewhere! Good luck with the hunting. It's great fun so enjoy it, and don't be afraid to haggle. Some places will be open, some won't but there is no harm in trying and no harm in playing one off against the other! Haggle on food costs last though as you don't want them to cut back on that - good things to haggle on are corkage, venue rental costs, drinks reception food, afters food, next day, etc.

    As for the +1, that is like opening a huge can of worms. I'd be of the camp of inviting everyone with a +1 and letting them decide, most will have the cop on not to bring a randomer but at least you have treated them in the same way as a person in a relationship. Weddings are tough enough as a single, without being treated differently in the invite as well as everything else. I've had long arguments with my friends about this though, so I know most don't agree!


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    #21
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    Flippyfloppy wrote: »
    Ah interesting. We never looked into having our wedding there and I always wondered what it would have cost!

    It's a fab venue but expensive for guests. The price of drinks at the bar was a major talking point, I think a spirit and mixer was €9 and pints expensive too. Accommodation is limited and expensive too.


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    #22
    Flippyfloppy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,748 ✭✭✭Flippyfloppy


    lazygal wrote: »
    It's a fab venue but expensive for guests. The price of drinks at the bar was a major talking point, I think a spirit and mixer was €9 and pints expensive too. Accommodation is limited and expensive too.

    Ah really??? Thats a bit bad. Tbh the reason we didn't look into them was due to the fact they never got back to me with packages when I asked first, I didn't pursue it further!!


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    #23
    Liam McPoyle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,846 ✭✭✭✭Liam McPoyle


    Thanks so much for the feedback guys, its been a great help!

    I kinda figured alot of places that are more "destination" venues would be pretty pricey just from the research we have done.

    We have an appointment with Village at Lyons next weekend but from what Im finding online prices seem to range from €70 to €120 per head which seems like a massive swing. The prices at the bar mentioned above would be of concern too, a nice place is all well and good but I dont want my friends or family getting screwed.

    At the end of the day, drinks in a Hotel etc are more expensive and thats a given but €9 for a short & mixer does seem ott.

    I will report back when we meet them anyway with what they say.

    We have heard some good things about Moyvalley in Enfield since it reopened, has anyone been in it since then?

    Also, Johnstown House looks pretty decent, has anyone been there?


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    #24
    gillylilly
    Registered Users Posts: 19 ✭gillylilly


    You should have a look at the One fab day top 100 for 2014, there are some great venues on there. We were to go look at Village at Lyons too last week but didn't bother as I didn't get the impression that they were all that nice there, and also the accommodation would have been awfully expensive for people. We viewed Cloughjordan house and that was amazing, but didn't work for us. Ballinacurra house in Cork looks amazing and was going to be a runner for us, but we went to Ballintaggart house in Dingle last week first and never looked back. It's beautiful and we can't imagine getting married anywhere else now. Even though it's well over two hours away for us.

    Fill in all the information requests and you'll get answers back fairly fast with the prices to look through, and have fun with it all. I booked yesterday to get married in less than 5 months time, must be mad!!!


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    #25
    Shedite27
    Registered Users Posts: 9,368 ✭✭✭Shedite27


    Coleman Slawski wrote: »
    We have heard some good things about Moyvalley in Enfield since it reopened, has anyone been in it since then?
    Went to view it recently. Nice setup, house is nice for photos, lovely rooms and cottages. We skipped it in the end as we felt the ballroom was very big. Not sure what the maximum capacity was but for our wedding of 150 I reckon we'd ahve been lost in it.


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    #26
    Arbiter of Good Taste
    Registered Users Posts: 2,200 ✭✭✭Arbiter of Good Taste


    There's some good advice here regarding +1s. I wouldn't just assume someone doesn't want to bring someone. If they don't know anyone, or even if they only know a few people, a +1 is a nice jesture.

    Where you have a crowd of single people going who are all friends, it's probably not necessary to give them a +1

    Also, bear in mind you will have more people declining than you thought you would. You would be surprised you declines. So I wouldn't get too uptight about a couple of people - you might actually be happy to have them come at the end of the day.


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    #27
    Millem
    Registered Users Posts: 7,729 ✭✭✭Millem


    Coleman Slawski wrote: »
    Hi all.

    I proposed to my other half during the week and she thankfully accepted so we have gotten the ball rolling on in terms of looking at budget, guest list etc.

    Our guest list stands currently at approx 140. Now this includes some people that are abroad at the moment so are unlikely to be able to attend aswell as about 10 people that we could probably snip if we needed to so Id be anticipating around 125 to sit down for dinner which isnt too bad all things considered.

    We are currently operating on anyone thats single not been offered a plus one. Ive been to weddings before that had this and personally had no issue with it but how do others feel about it? Herself was thinking it was a bit mean but Im of the opinion I dont want people there that dont know us or are only there for the sake of it so opinions on this are welcome.

    Venue wise its difficult to find prices online. I know that we wont know until we actually go to places and get into the bargaining side of it with numbers and what not but some guidance here would be appreciated.

    We are looking at a budget of €70 to €80 per person and love the look of places like Village at Lyons rather than "Hotel" style Hotels.

    Are we naive in terms of pricing matching potential venues? We were thinking about Brooklodge and I thought the prices were extortionate (minimum of about €100 per person for a summer wedding on a Friday or Saturday).

    We are going to try and visit Rathsallagh House & Tinakilly House over the coming weeks as we have stayed in both and really liked them so if anyone has suggestions in terms of similar venues we would appreciate it. Location wise up an hour in any direction from Saggart/Citywest area is doable.

    Also, if anyone has a steer on pricing that would also be fantastic. No point in us visiting places if they are over our budget, if people aren't comfortable with posting this information publicly please feel free to PM me.

    Id imagine I will be frequenting this forum for the next while so I apologise if the above has all been asked already!

    :)

    All of the places mentioned are a good €100 per head if you want the traditional soup, starter, main plus desert and half a bottle of wine per person. Have you considered tulfarris in blessington? They have a package for €69 called the willow package.
    http://tulfarrishotel.com/_attachment/9052/Tulfarris_Hotel_wedding_packages_2014.pdf
    Or summerhill house in enniskerry? They have a weekend package sept-June for €55 http://www.summerhillhousehotel.com/ENG/static_files/files/Summerhill-Wedding-Menu-Riverton.pdf
    Or the mill house in Slane they have a package for €75 per person but I know they are open to tailoring these packages by omitting things!
    http://themillhouse.ie/Documents/Wedding_Brochure.pdf


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    #28
    solerina
    Registered Users Posts: 2,435 ✭✭✭solerina


    I gave + 1 to everyone that was single and not one of them brought a =1..but at least we gave them the option !!

    Gillylilly....we got engaged and married in less than 5 months and had nothing arranged in advance so you will have no problems !!


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    #29
    Liam McPoyle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,846 ✭✭✭✭Liam McPoyle


    Shedite27 wrote: »
    Went to view it recently. Nice setup, house is nice for photos, lovely rooms and cottages. We skipped it in the end as we felt the ballroom was very big. Not sure what the maximum capacity was but for our wedding of 150 I reckon we'd ahve been lost in it.

    Thanks for that, our guest list is around the 150 mark too, probably 5% to 10% less when all is said and done and I'd be in total agreement about the size of the venue.

    I was at a wedding a couple of years ago and it was a disaster due to the size of the place and number if guests, it looked so spread out, my heart went out to the couple.


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    #30
    clint_silver
    Registered Users Posts: 2,895 ✭✭✭clint_silver


    Coleman Slawski wrote: »
    Thanks for that, our guest list is around the 150 mark too, probably 5% to 10% less when all is said and done and I'd be in total agreement about the size of the venue.

    I was at a wedding a couple of years ago and it was a disaster due to the size of the place and number if guests, it looked so spread out, my heart went out to the couple.

    johnstown house is very nice, great room for a party. anything less than 150 and they may close the doors for a half room to make the night better, thats a really big room, was only in it last week with 280 and it wasnt jammed.

    hamlet court is close to it, another biggish room.

    tulfarris is great , some people find the bar outside an issue but thats up to yourself whether youd mind. I personally wouldnt but very nice venue.

    moyvalley is good as well, the house is really different to the hotel bit.

    summerhillhouse is excellent spot for a party, wouldnt go wrong up there.


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    #31
    Liam McPoyle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,846 ✭✭✭✭Liam McPoyle


    Well next Saturday we are scheduled in to view Village at Lyons, Johnstown House & Moyvalley so hopefully we will have a better idea of whats out there and what kind of bargaining power we have (if any!)


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