Off-Topic

Ten of Swords · 11-03-2014 10:36pm

Didn't see any point starting a new thread for this so off-topic will do!

A cousin of mine came out to his parents last week, kind of unexpectedly too. He's 17 and has a pretty good circle of friends around him. His parents are pretty OK with it so he's very relieved.

Anyway after talking it out with him his mother, my aunt, she suddenly remembered 'Oh, we have a gay in the family already! You should call Liam' (or words to that effect!) - I haven't seen my cousin in about 6 years, strained relationship with my family aside he lives in Cork for one thing! - why he would want to talk to me is a mystery, when I was 17 I would never in a million years have called a relative I barely know to ask for advice like that but anyway, he called.

I intended to talk to him for just a few minutes and get rid of him as quickly as possible but we ended up talking for over an hour. It was awkward and I wasn't in a great mood when he rang me but he'd obviously put a lot of thought into what he wanted to say to me and he eventually asked me some questions that had been on his mind, things he couldn't ask his friends and to be honest it was, in parts, an uncomfortable conversation for me from that point on.

Thinking about it afterwards I realised it's because he is family that made it so awkward for me to talk to him about this stuff. I've talked to friends, acquaintances and strangers online about sex and sexuality before, plenty of times, but I've never had to talk to a family member about it in any kind of detail and it was a very weird experience.

playedalive · 11-03-2014 11:26pm

Ten of Swords wrote: »

I've talked to friends, acquaintances and strangers online about sex and sexuality before, plenty of times, but I've never had to talk to a family member about it in any kind of detail and it was a very weird experience.

Yeah I know the feeling alright. When I told my mum I was gay at the age of 22 (a year ago now), she started going on about me having safe sex and being careful, using condoms, etc. I just wanted to put my head between my legs and cringe. But, I guess she had to make sure.

Fair play for being there for your cousin. When I told my cousin I was gay, it was great talking to someone a bit older (she was 34 at the time) so as to get advice/wisdom. I'm not gonna lie I do and still find it tough accepting that I am gay and can sometimes feel alone in it. But, with my cousin, I was able to meet some of her friends on a night out in the Dragon. It really help me to see ordinary guys and girls (stereotypes aside) who happened to be gay. It has helped to change my preconceived ideas on what it all is.

So, if you can, be there for your cousin if it isn't too much trouble for you. He will appreciate it.

Canard · 16-03-2014 11:03pm

Apparently two guys holding hands in public is still a spectacle for middle-aged women and their husbands. What am I, a zoo animal? :rolleyes:

Don't really care though, I never had the balls to hold a guy's hand in public much before and I like holding his hand more than I care about ignorant people's sniggering

TO_ARTHUR! · 17-03-2014 2:46am

Canard wrote: »

Apparently two guys holding hands in public is still a spectacle for middle-aged women and their husbands. What am I, a zoo animal? :rolleyes:

Don't really care though, I never had the balls to hold a guy's hand in public much before and I like holding his hand more than I care about ignorant people's sniggering

Sometimes you just have to forget the 'haters' and show your love in public!

My boyfriend and I didn't always have the guts/courage to hold hands in a public place but sometimes we do it and man, does it feel good when we do.

You just have to keep a wise head on ye and be cautious as to where you are or who's around you so as to avoid potentially provoking the aforementioned 'haters' or people looking for a fight.

BanzaiBk · 18-03-2014 7:21am

I've had no sleep again. Work at 8.30am.

McChubbin · 19-03-2014 8:16pm

I do a module on self advocacy and human rights in college and as a pan/bi person, I always like to inform my classmates of the issues of LBGT rights.
We were discussing this in class today and sure, a funny exchange happened during lunch.
I'm sitting with a classmate and we're discussing the notes we took for class when...

Classmate: Gee, Chubbs, you're really into gay rights...
Me: Sure, why not? Someone's gotta stick up for 'em!
Classmate: Hope I'm not offending you by asking this but....are youuu... Y'KNOW?
Me: Am I what?
Classmate: Are you.. y'know, GAY yourself?
Me: *shrugging* Eh, I swing both ways for the most part, dear.

There's a pause as she considers this information.

Classmate: *after a long beat* Sure, my sister is bisexual. Will ya shift her? I can give you her number!

Maker's breath...!

SillyMangoX · 22-03-2014 2:35pm

I'm just going to poke my head in here and say hi! I came out last night to my mam, brother and close friends.. it had been something I'd been keeping secret for a long time, and it feels amazing to finally have everyone I care about know! Everyone has been so supportive so it's lovely

I was getting so annoyed lately at people saying 'how's the love life, any lads lately?' and things to that effect and didn't realize why it annoyed me so much, but now that I have accepted the fact myself I now know what it was annoying me so much :pac:

lemon_sherbert · 22-03-2014 4:02pm

SillyMangoX wrote: »

I'm just going to poke my head in here and say hi! I came out last night to my mam, brother and close friends.. it had been something I'd been keeping secret for a long time, and it feels amazing to finally have everyone I care about know! Everyone has been so supportive so it's lovely I was getting so annoyed lately at people saying 'how's the love life, any lads lately?' and things to that effect and didn't realize why it annoyed me so much, but now that I have accepted the fact myself I now know what it was annoying me so much :pac:

Congratulations! Great to hear you're having a supportive experience

BanzaiBk · 22-03-2014 9:06pm

SillyMangoX wrote: »

I'm just going to poke my head in here and say hi! I came out last night to my mam, brother and close friends.. it had been something I'd been keeping secret for a long time, and it feels amazing to finally have everyone I care about know! Everyone has been so supportive so it's lovely I was getting so annoyed lately at people saying 'how's the love life, any lads lately?' and things to that effect and didn't realize why it annoyed me so much, but now that I have accepted the fact myself I now know what it was annoying me so much :pac:

Followed your thread about Dude. What a legend you are.

One of us. One of us. One of us.

SillyMangoX · 22-03-2014 9:11pm

BanzaiBk wrote: »

Followed your thread about Dude. What a legend you are.

One of us. One of us. One of us.

Haha Yay I'm famous :P Dude was very accepting I must say :pac::pac:

playedalive · 23-03-2014 1:11am

SillyMangoX wrote: »

I was getting so annoyed lately at people saying 'how's the love life, any lads lately?'

Yeah it kinda annoyed me too when people started wondering if I was getting with a guy. It takes time and gets more comfortable when you've accepted you're gay, come out and get comfortable with your 'new' life.

SillyMangoX · 23-03-2014 1:31am

I'm still finding it weird,
Friends are like so... Big day for ya! I'm just thinking it's not really, shouldn't be a shock to anyone :P

baby and crumble · 24-03-2014 9:16pm

Nice one, Silly!

(MUST. NOT. MAKE. PUSSY. JOKE.)

:p:p:p:p:p:p

SillyMangoX · 24-03-2014 9:58pm

baby and crumble wrote: »

Nice one, Silly!

(MUST. NOT. MAKE. PUSSY. JOKE.)

:p:p:p:p:p:p

It's been done believe me :pac: First thing one of my friends said to me "So the cats were a metaphor all this time yeah?:P" :pac:

SillyMangoX · 25-03-2014 2:06am

I nearly cried tonight, my uncle (who is also gay) came up to my house and gave me a 'coming out' present! He said he was just so proud and wished he had my courage when he was my age!

(oh who am I kidding, I did cry :P)

Emz93 · 26-03-2014 5:57pm

SillyMangoX wrote: »

I'm just going to poke my head in here and say hi! I came out last night to my mam, brother and close friends.. it had been something I'd been keeping secret for a long time, and it feels amazing to finally have everyone I care about know! Everyone has been so supportive so it's lovely I was getting so annoyed lately at people saying 'how's the love life, any lads lately?' and things to that effect and didn't realize why it annoyed me so much, but now that I have accepted the fact myself I now know what it was annoying me so much :pac:

Congrats on managing to tell everyone! My coming out is proving to be a very slow process :P my family and close friends know but I'm finding it extremely hard to be out in front of college/sport/work friends who still keep asking me about the "fellahs" in my life! I need to grow a pair! Congrats again

SillyMangoX · 27-03-2014 11:28pm

Emz93 wrote: »

Congrats on managing to tell everyone! My coming out is proving to be a very slow process :P my family and close friends know but I'm finding it extremely hard to be out in front of college/sport/work friends who still keep asking me about the "fellahs" in my life! I need to grow a pair! Congrats again

I told my family in person and my close friends on a private message on Facebook cos they are all over the world at the moment then I threw up a status on Facebook to tell everyone else when I was drunk or else I wouldn't have had the balls to :P

baby and crumble · 16-04-2014 11:48pm

You guys, I TOTALLY GRADUATED TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:pac::pac::pac::D:D:D

I may or may not be slightly tipsy right now. Here, have a song!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wy7SvZQfeBM

Irish Aris · 10-05-2014 1:13pm

Reading people comments regarding Austria's entry in Eurovision this year and. . . seriously people can't be that stupid. . . or can they?

failinis · 10-05-2014 3:20pm

Hey, Just thought I would show my face here, read on this forum often but never really post.

I was forced to come out a few months ago to mixed reactions, but dealing with it okay enough at the moment.

Hope to post about here more often.

Doop · 11-05-2014 11:26pm

Anyone watch Panti on the meaning of life with gay byrne? quite interesting.. never knew he has HIV, thought he came across very well tho, hes so laughy!

im sure itll be rte player tomorrow if anyone missed it

J_E · 12-05-2014 1:00am

Someone followed me on my train home and was groping me despite me having said I had a bf and wasn't interested. Was on train and I really didn't want to cause a scene but I managed the situation. It still freaked me out that someone could do that to an underage gay guy and they would totally not know what to do. Bit freaky.

Ten of Swords · 12-05-2014 7:46am

Cydoniac wrote: »

Someone followed me on my train home and was groping me despite me having said I had a bf and wasn't interested. Was on train and I really didn't want to cause a scene but I managed the situation. It still freaked me out that someone could do that to an underage gay guy and they would totally not know what to do. Bit freaky.

Jesus, thats nasty. Was he drunk or like a proper predator? Good on you for managing the situation. I hope you would have been willing to 'make a scene' if things had escalated. Scary stuff.

J_E · 12-05-2014 9:26am

Ten of Swords wrote: »

Jesus, thats nasty. Was he drunk or like a proper predator? Good on you for managing the situation. I hope you would have been willing to 'make a scene' if things had escalated. Scary stuff.

I could smell a bit of alcohol on his breath so I imagine there may have been a bit of judgement impairment. He knew not to go any further but it was pretty unpleasant, even more so when I think about how surreal it was now.

baby and crumble · 16-05-2014 1:52am

Cydoniac wrote: »

I could smell a bit of alcohol on his breath so I imagine there may have been a bit of judgement impairment. He knew not to go any further but it was pretty unpleasant, even more so when I think about how surreal it was now.

Sad to say, as a woman this doesn't surprise me- happens to a lot of girls. (That's not to take anything away from how horrible and invasive it was, I hope you're ok.)

mr.anonymous · 03-06-2014 11:07pm

The People's Debate with Vincent Browne

Wed 4th June, 22:00, TV3

Topic for debate is 'Homophobia in Ireland'

It should be interesting. Hopefully Paddy Manning wasn't invited...

baby and crumble · 04-06-2014 12:02am

mr.anonymous wrote: »

Hopefully Paddy Manning wasn't invited...

I actually think one of these days he's going to explode live on tv. That amount of anger and self hatred just is not healthy.

J_E · 04-06-2014 1:59pm

baby and crumble wrote: »

I actually think one of these days he's going to explode live on tv. That amount of anger and self hatred just is not healthy.

It's just a bit sad seeing someone feel the need to be politically relevant, so much so that they'll play themselves down to 'impress' their peers. He's also so caught up in US style left and right labels that I think he forgets to have proper discussions. The kind of people who put me off having an interest in politics, for sure. You only have to go onto his Twitter to see what I mean.

J_E · 15-06-2014 2:12pm

http://www.sundayworld.com/top-stories/news/shameless-sex-acts-take-place-in-broad-daylight-phoenix-park-gay-sex

Looks like Sunday World have started their smear campaign with the referendum coming along. I don't personally like outdoor cruising but this is just ****-stirring at its finest, a really nasty cheap attack, especially the mother-child statement just to get people emotionally involved.

qweerty · 16-06-2014 11:47am

Cydoniac wrote: »

http://www.sundayworld.com/top-stories/news/shameless-sex-acts-take-place-in-broad-daylight-phoenix-park-gay-sex

Looks like Sunday World have started their smear campaign with the referendum coming along. I don't personally like outdoor cruising but this is just ****-stirring at its finest, a really nasty cheap attack, especially the mother-child statement just to get people emotionally involved.

Before considering the potential consequences of such negativity, I actually thought it was quite funny. It's laced with sensationalism - "packs of men", "Michael D Higgin's back garden", etc - and seems to be implying that this is a scoop and the result of some indepth investigation!

However, I think it has unpleasant undertones, and portrays those involved as one-dimensional sex-crazed creeps. It has a byline, so maybe a few of us such contact him.

qweerty · 16-06-2014 11:50am

Cydoniac wrote: »

http://www.sundayworld.com/top-stories/news/shameless-sex-acts-take-place-in-broad-daylight-phoenix-park-gay-sex

Looks like Sunday World have started their smear campaign with the referendum coming along. I don't personally like outdoor cruising but this is just ****-stirring at its finest, a really nasty cheap attack, especially the mother-child statement just to get people emotionally involved.

Before considering the potential consequences of such negativity, I actually thought it was quite funny. It's laced with sensationalism - "packs of men", "Michael D Higgins' back garden", etc - and seems to be implying that this is a scoop and the result of some indepth investigation!

However, I think it has unpleasant undertones, and portrays those involved as one-dimensional sex-crazed creeps. It has a byline, so maybe a few of us such contact him.

floggg · 16-06-2014 1:38pm

qweerty wrote: »

Before considering the potential consequences of such negativity, I actually thought it was quite funny. It's laced with sensationalism - "packs of men", "Michael D Higgins' back garden", etc - and seems to be implying that this is a scoop and the result of some indepth investigation!

However, I think it has unpleasant undertones, and portrays those involved as one-dimensional sex-crazed creeps. It has a byline, so maybe a few of us such contact him.

I wouldn't get too paranoid lads. It's a rag paper publishing a sensationalist article for clicks and newspaper sales. This sort of nonsense goes down well with their readership - regardless of the sexual orientation of those involved.

I've seen similar guff about dogging and swingers parties too where it's was mainly straight couples involved.

Daith · 16-06-2014 3:34pm

qweerty wrote: »

Before considering the potential consequences of such negativity, I actually thought it was quite funny. It's laced with sensationalism - "packs of men", "Michael D Higgin's back garden", etc - and seems to be implying that this is a scoop and the result of some indepth investigation!

Fully agreed. I loved the fact that it was only "women and children" walking past. The reference to a Pope was a nice touch.

Ten of Swords · 26-06-2014 7:50pm

I thought these two images taken in a Vancouver photo booth in 1953 were lovely, and very brave. They could have easily been arrested for this photo at the time.

They are part of ONE National Gay & Lesbian Archives at the University of Southern California.

The image donor Joseph John Bertrund Belanger, the man on the right in the images, was a member of the Mattachine society - a very early LGBT organisation.

2011035_0011.jpg?w=461

Annasopra · 01-07-2014 11:09pm

Brilliant headline
http://www.breakingnews.ie/discover/dun-laoghaire-lifeboat-rescues-giant-mickey-from-sea-635032.html

J_E · 01-07-2014 11:24pm

Video from about 2 years ago that has only started to become more known when it was covered on US television just the other night. It's quite hard to watch in parts, but Pepe is a true beacon of hope for reason and understanding in Uganda, worth watching if you have the time.

Oh, and utter confirmation that Pastor Sempa (eat da poo poo) is as dangerous as he is lunatic.

Annasopra · 03-07-2014 12:30am

Sad to see Ruairi Quinn go.

He has been one of Irelands most pro gay rights TDs for maybe 30 years.

One of the first candidates ever to canvass in the George in the 80s

Very instrumental in forcing decriminalisation onto the cabinet agenda in 93

Very reforming in Education in terms of bringing in homophobic bullying codes and changes to section 37.

08-07-2014 4:07pm

My gaydar sucks but s/o to the cute guy in the black jumper and hipster glasses who's sitting across from me on the Dublin to Cork train.

J_E · 09-07-2014 1:28am

Deleted User wrote: »

My gaydar sucks but s/o to the cute guy in the black jumper and hipster glasses who's sitting across from me on the Dublin to Cork train.

Panti had this to say at the Big Gay Sing, or something along the lines of - "It's tragic - now you can't tell the gay guys from the straight ones!"

J_E · 11-07-2014 1:15am

A trans friend of mine has been kicked out of home after coming out and adopting her gender. Absolutely heartbreaking

There is a long way to go...

Annasopra · 18-07-2014 8:11am

Over 100 AIDS activists and researchers killed in Ukraine !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@!

L1011 · 18-07-2014 12:53pm

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

Over 100 AIDS activists and researchers killed in Ukraine !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@!

I don't think the headline figure of 100 is correct on some of the articles saying that, but there's definitely quite a few including some very notable individuals.

J_E · 18-07-2014 1:14pm

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

Over 100 AIDS activists and researchers killed in Ukraine !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@!

Not possible that it was over 100 but a lot of prominent figures...so senseless

Annasopra · 18-07-2014 1:45pm

A number of reports are specific in saying 108

J_E · 18-07-2014 2:11pm

That's going to severely set back research into prevention and treatment...not to mention families ruined...

Annasopra · 23-07-2014 12:37am

Aaaaaaaaaawwww
http://www.herald.ie/news/congo-couple-each-believed-other-had-died-in-civil-war-but-they-were-living-150km-apart-in-ireland-30443527.html

Ten of Swords · 10-11-2014 8:51pm

I thought this students message to the guy that punched him for kissing his boyfriend was very dignified

To the guy who punched me tonight for kissing my boyfriend, I’m sorry that you called me fag. I’m sorry you hit me for no reason. I’m sorry that whatever insecurities you have don’t allow you to accept others for who they are. I’m sorry that I threaten you.

I’m NOT sorry I’m gay. I’m proud to be this way. I’m proud to be confident enough to love who I love and to love me. I’m proud to have friends and family that love me regardless of me. Honestly, I’m not sorry.

https://twitter.com/ColeLedford11/status/530578094823055361/photo/1

cloudatlas · 29-11-2014 11:44am

I was sitting in Waterstones the other day and I sat down with Graham Norton's and Panti Bliss's memoir. I have to say reading excerpts I thought Panti's memoir isn't really well written, Graham was surprisingly good writing. Panti's memoir was like a rushed diary entry really plainly written I wonder how long Rory took to write it. There is a bit of a love in with this book at the moment, sure there is an interesting perspective but it's not all that well written in my opinion.

Irish Aris · 29-11-2014 11:59am

cloudatlas wrote: »

I was sitting in Waterstones the other day and I sat down with Graham Norton's and Panti Bliss's memoir. I have to say reading excerpts I thought Panti's memoir isn't really well written, Graham was surprisingly good writing. Panti's memoir was like a rushed diary entry really plainly written I wonder how long Rory took to write it. There is a bit of a love in with this book at the moment, sure there is an interesting perspective but it's not all that well written in my opinion.

I started reading it a couple days ago, 70 pages into it at the moment.
I won't see it's badly written, but you are right, to an extend, it is written in a plain, straightforward way.

What I find interesting so far is the descriptions of Ireland of that era (the 80's). For me especially as a foreigner, who knows very little about Ireland of those days..

L1011 · 29-11-2014 6:59pm

TommieBoy wrote: »

...perhaps it was written by a ghostwriter? ...as so many memoirs seem to be.

'n hi everyone

Ghost-written stuff wouldn't seem rushed, so I don't think so. Rory seems well able to write lengthy passages (speeches, blog posts) anyway so shouldn't need a ghost writer.

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