Divorce

BraziliaNZ · 28-06-2010 8:52pm #1

I got emails today from an ex, and a solicitor, informing me today that we are now officially divorced! She was my first love and we were young and stupid but we needed to do it so I could stay in her certain North American country. So it was a shotgun thing. Anyway a couple of years later I moved home, and never really heard from her since. Then about 7 years passed until she sent me some forms, I presume she's getting married again. So after me signing a few forms, commisioners of oaths, fax machines etc., today I learned I'm divorced!!!

Anyway - am I supposed to be happy/sad? Do you celebrate these things? Any divorcees around?

Mr. CooL ICE · 28-06-2010 8:55pm

You should have donkey punched her before you divorced her

MagicMarker · 28-06-2010 8:55pm

You are now officially ball & chainless.

A beer is in order imho.

The_Minister · 28-06-2010 8:56pm

Congratulations man.

Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life.:)

PeterIanStaker · 28-06-2010 8:56pm

So long as she and her lawyer didnt take everything you own, bar the fillings in your teeth, you should be happy.

28-06-2010 8:56pm

What do you do? Jesus man.. Get on the phone and tell her you just won the lotto!
Record it and then post the reaction here!

Coriolanus · 28-06-2010 8:57pm

I think coke and hookers are the traditional AH way of celebrating. Divorces, christenings, it's pretty much a catch-all.

PeterIanStaker · 28-06-2010 8:57pm

LordChessington wrote: »

You should have donkey punched her before you divorced her

How could you even think of such a thing?

Flaming Rudolph all the way :cool:

alwaysadub · 28-06-2010 8:58pm

There seems to be a thing alright for celebrating divorces-we had a caterer in a while ago,and on the side of his van was that he catered for parties, christenings, weddings , divorces.

So when's the party??

BraziliaNZ · 28-06-2010 8:59pm

Nevore wrote: »

I think coke and hookers are the traditional AH way of celebrating. Divorces, christenings, it's pretty much a catch-all.

I'm broke till payday

So all I have is 2 cans of Amstel, which I'm drinking now. Hooker would be good though.

laugh · 28-06-2010 9:00pm

Nevore wrote: »

I think coke and hookers are the traditional AH way of celebrating. Divorces, christenings, it's pretty much a catch-all.

Coke and Hookers in a secret sex cave.

stovelid · 28-06-2010 9:01pm

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I got emails today from an ex, and a solicitor, informing me today that we are now officially divorced! She was my first love and we were young and stupid but we needed to do it so I could stay in her certain North American country. So it was a shotgun thing. Anyway a couple of years later I moved home, and never really heard from her since. Then about 7 years passed until she sent me some forms, I presume she's getting married again. So after me signing a few forms, commisioners of oaths, fax machines etc., today I learned I'm divorced!!!

That's prime material for a mawkish country and western ballad. Get writing!

AnonoBoy · 28-06-2010 9:02pm

Buy a sports car and try and sleep with some college girls.

Gannicus · 28-06-2010 9:08pm

PeterIanStaker wrote: »

Flaming Rudolph all the way :cool:

What the f**k is that?

jimmycrackcorm · 28-06-2010 9:09pm

You sir are now a divorced loser. Or should that be winner?

BraziliaNZ · 28-06-2010 9:11pm

I'm not sure if I know the meaning of the word "ironic" but the only person who has thanked my OP so far is called The Minister. What faith do you practice sir?

Mr. CooL ICE · 28-06-2010 9:11pm

PeterIanStaker wrote: »

How could you even think of such a thing?

Flaming Rudolph all the way :cool:

Big Steve wrote: »

What the f**k is that?

Not in urban dictionary. Please enlighten us!

Maybe you could have fed her a portuguese breakfast without telling her what it is

BraziliaNZ · 28-06-2010 9:14pm

You glance over at the pale delicately embroidered tablecloth and the fresh flowers and suddenly a waiter walks over to you with a tray of freshly baked portuguese buns, round and hot; fresh butter and quince jam sliced in thin shining layers. Fresh cheese, hard and fragrant or shaved smoked ham or fried chorico sliced.A small tray of pastries is added to tempt you and ofcourse there is always a bowl of fresh fruit or freshly squeezed juice to start your breakfast and to finish it, it would never be complete without a cup of cafe com leite (half milk/half coffee) or a bica (lots of hot milk and some coffee) or a small cup of strong portuguese espresso type coffee that will really wake you up. This is continental breakfast almost anywhere in Portugal.

How is a Portuguese breakfast relevant to my situation?

The_Minister · 28-06-2010 9:15pm

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I'm not sure if I know the meaning of the word "ironic" but the only person who has thanked my OP so far is called The Minister. What faith do you practice sir?

Check the avatar beee-atch.

I'sa droppin' lines Aristotle-like.

PeterIanStaker · 28-06-2010 9:17pm

LordChessington wrote: »

Not in urban dictionary. Please enlighten us!

Maybe you could have fed her a portuguese breakfast without telling her what it is

*NSFW*

Flaming Rudolph: When a chick sucks you off, you blow one on her grille, punch her in the nose, flip her around backwards, throw a pair of fake antlers on her head, light her hair on fire, and throw a rough one in her ass. (this is the holy grail of all sex acts. as far as research indicates, man has only gotten as far as to have the fake antlers in hand. however, that does not mean that it can't be accomplished.) Definition to be found at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual-slang .

Now thank me

Pherekydes · 28-06-2010 9:38pm

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Anyway - am I supposed to be happy/sad? Do you celebrate these things? Any divorcees around?

Happy. Did you consummate your divorce? :pac: Celebrate by getting married again. Your ex seems to be doing that. That's what I did.

BraziliaNZ · 28-06-2010 9:46pm

Pherekydes wrote: »

Happy. Did you consummate your divorce? :pac: Celebrate by getting married again. Your ex seems to be doing that. That's what I did.

No, I don't think it's for me, the marriage thing. Her new hubby is hella-ugly, according to facebook pics i've seen, but probably a much nicer and all around better person than me. But that's not much of an achievement.
But at least I know their kids will be ugly, if they look like him!

stovelid · 28-06-2010 9:48pm

Weather forecast: prolonged hot front of sexeh heading for Brazil?

Biggins · 28-06-2010 9:52pm

Deleted User wrote: »

What do you do? Jesus man.. Get on the phone and tell her you just won the lotto!
Record it and then post the reaction here!

Actually, there's a quirk in Irish law that says that although an ex-partner cannot claim winnings after a legal separation/divorce, they can however claim 50% of the interest of the winnings.
Its a odd small detail in Irish law that still exists somewhere for some reason

One once divorced bloke here who had to go thorough all the legalities.
(Married again later)

BraziliaNZ · 28-06-2010 9:53pm

stovelid wrote: »

Weather forecast: prolonged hot front of sexeh heading for Brazil?

I don't think so. Unless it's with myself.

Whyno · 28-06-2010 9:53pm

Some people have all the luck!!!!

Gannicus · 28-06-2010 10:06pm

will someone tell me what a FLAMING RUDOLPH is.......

TheZohanS · 28-06-2010 10:07pm

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

No, I don't think it's for me, the marriage thing. Her new hubby is hella-ugly, according to facebook pics i've seen, but probably a much nicer and all around better person than me. But that's not much of an achievement.
But at least I know their kids will be ugly, if they look like him!

Now that made me laugh.

You're a lucky man to get away so lightly, **** can get seriously fùcked in a divorce, nasty, nasty nasty.

You should head out to Coppers to celebrate at the weekend.

karlog · 28-06-2010 10:25pm

Did she get half

starbelgrade · 28-06-2010 10:30pm

Why are hurricanes usually named after women?

Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild,but when they go, they take your house and car.

arybvtcw0eolkf · 28-06-2010 11:08pm

Me, personally speaking if there were no lingering issue's I'd ring her, thank her for sharing with you what she did and then wish her all the best for her future.

Divorce

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