The Online Dating Thread 3..READ 1ST POST Oct 2012

riveratom · 24-09-2012 10:03pm

Piliger wrote: »

I was out working all day Saturday, and my PC was off, but I was told later that I as online all day .... you cannot trust the 'online' thing.

Plus on apps you will be 'online' 24/7 whenever you are hooked up to the net.

mood · 24-09-2012 10:06pm

riveratom wrote: »

Plus on apps you will be 'online' 24/7 whenever you are hooked up to the net.

I've never used on of the apps. Can you not log out of it?

Daveysil15 · 24-09-2012 10:16pm

sharper wrote: »

It depends.

You can get a sense of people if they're a decent writer. A profile that just lists their interests tells you nothing but some are also good at projecting their sense of humour and what really drives them.

If you have some opportunity to see them interact with others then even better, the okc journals and forums used to be great for that.

Obviously you have to meet to see what's "real" about them and what's them projecting their best self but I do think a lot of people vastly overestimate their ability to size up other people after a quick meeting.

Yeah that's if they're a good writer, but what if their profile has little or no information in it? Tbh I wouldn't be too bothered with a woman's hobbies or interests - that's not what builds attraction. It's often opposites that attract anyway.

I'd be more inclined to meesage a girl based on her photos and wheather I find her attractive. I know that might sound shallow, but the rest is just words on a page which may not even be accurate.

foxinsox · 24-09-2012 10:20pm

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Yeah that's if they're a good writer, but what if their profile has little or no information in it? Tbh I wouldn't be too bothered with a woman's hobbies or interests - that's not what builds attraction. It's often opposites that attract anyway.

I'd be more inclined to meesage a girl based on her photos and wheather I find her attractive. I know that might sound shallow, but the rest is just words on a page which may not even be accurate.

Photos which may not even be accurate....

Just saying :pac:

CastorTroy · 24-09-2012 10:20pm

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Yeah that's if they're a good writer, but what if their profile has little or no information in it? Tbh I wouldn't be too bothered with a woman's hobbies or interests - that's not what builds attraction. It's often opposites that attract anyway.

I'd be more inclined to meesage a girl based on her photos and wheather I find her attractive. I know that might sound shallow, but the rest is just words on a page which may not even be accurate.

By personality, I mean at least have a bit of humour in the profile. Like I tried to keep mine serious but lighthearted in places. I know I won't exactly be the pick when it comes to photos alone but I ma have a chance with the profile. Though not so far, so maybe I was wrong.

sharper · 24-09-2012 10:28pm

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I'd be more inclined to meesage a girl based on her photos and wheather I find her attractive. I know that might sound shallow, but the rest is just words on a page which may not even be accurate.

To me most people tend to look approximately the same. If you showed me 10 different pictures and then asked me to recount what I just saw, I'd mix up the details between them and wouldn't know which was which.

That doesn't mean I have no physical preferences - I like dark hair, I think glasses look sexy and so on.

What differentiates people to me is their personality and you're right that's more than their interests and can even be a counter indicator. I've gotten on very well with people I never would have guessed I would just that we were thrown together in random happenstance.

Sure a person's profile text might not be accurate but then their actions on a date might not be authentic nor reflective of them either.

A blank profile means nothing to me, much moreso than a filled out profile with no picture. I'm more likely to remember any of you based on your post history than I would a picture.

I realize of course I have a very strange way of looking at things but they do let strange people use online dating too

Daveysil15 · 24-09-2012 10:31pm

foxinsox wrote: »

Photos which may not even be accurate....

Just saying :pac:

Yeah but you'd tend to cop that when you meet the person. You're not going to notice if they're a horse riding champion, or if they like to do charity work in their spare time.

CastorTroy · 24-09-2012 10:34pm

sharper wrote: »

I realize of course I have a very strange way of looking at things but they do let strange people use online dating too

Not strange. Unique.

Though with near identical profiles and seemingly identical messages being sent.

mood · 24-09-2012 10:34pm

sharper wrote: »

To me most people tend to look approximately the same. If you showed me 10 different pictures and then asked me to recount what I just saw, I'd mix up the details between them and wouldn't know which was which.

That doesn't mean I have no physical preferences - I like dark hair, I think glasses look sexy and so on.

What differentiates people to me is their personality and you're right that's more than their interests and can even be a counter indicator. I've gotten on very well with people I never would have guessed I would just that we were thrown together in random happenstance.

Sure a person's profile text might not be accurate but then their actions on a date might not be authentic nor reflective of them either.

A blank profile means nothing to me, much moreso than a filled out profile with no picture. I'm more likely to remember any of you based on your post history than I would a picture.

I realize of course I have a very strange way of looking at things but they do let strange people use online dating too

But profile can specify age brackets, location etc. By ignoring this information you could be wasting time contacting some women.

magneticimpulse · 24-09-2012 10:46pm

Got myself a date this Wednesday with a cutie Italian guy. Looking forward to it. Emails back and forth are going well so far, lots of banter. A little bit chuffed if I dont say so myself

Edit that... a Brad Pitt lookalike has just winked at me!!! Online dating is all of a sudden looking up

Has to be a catch somewhere? (Maybe I should keep quite about a Brad Pitt lookalike who is available on O.D....wouldn't want any competition hehe)

ulinbac · 24-09-2012 11:31pm

LyndaMcL wrote: »

Most likely. People aren't generally on dating sites to find friends.

I had a look on pof before I joined and a load of the female profiles tend to say "looking for friends and see from there".

Thought I was playing it smart, lesson learned.

Thanks

Galvasean · 25-09-2012 12:05am

Hmm, I guess that girl I was talking to last week has gone and disapperated after asking to have a look at my facebook. bah, she was the only one to reply to me at all since I returned from my OD break. Think I've mailed close to 30 people, but to no avail. Sometimes I feel like Ned Flanders when he did that, "I've done everything the (OD) Bible says, even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!"
Oh well, at least i have the opportunity to post the poster of a film I worked on which I feel represents my current situation quite adequately:

magneticimpulse · 25-09-2012 12:12am

ah i avoid the whole becoming facebook friends...seems to not matter and i have been doing well with O.D without needing to become Facebook friends. Adds a little bit of mystery to the scenario and keeps the other person guessing about your dark mysterious side.

Galvasean · 25-09-2012 12:16am

CastorTroy wrote: »

(Damn you Dawson's Creek! :pac:) .

Oi! :mad:

magneticimpulse wrote: »

ah i avoid the whole becoming facebook friends...seems to not matter and i have been doing well with O.D without needing to become Facebook friends. Adds a little bit of mystery to the scenario and keeps the other person guessing about your dark mysterious side.

I find a lot of people I talk to like to see a Facebook page so they know you are who you say you are. Well, I get that request quite a bit. CLEARLY my OD profile is just too good to be true! :pac:

missrandomer · 25-09-2012 12:29am

Im feelin a little bit happy and very nervous! I had 2 guys that i was interested in, one is defintite date and weve just confirmed times etc, happy out, he seems super sweet and proper gentleman too

guy no2 well he was funny and hot, but it appears (this is only my gut instinct of course, but im rarely wrong) all he actualy wants is a bit of "who's yer daddy" ! while thats ok for some, to dance around it is not very cool. Bit dissapointed i didnt spot it sooner

Galvasean · 25-09-2012 12:31am

If I may inquire, what makes you think that about guy no2 missrandomer?

missrandomer · 25-09-2012 12:57am

Galvasean wrote: »

If I may inquire, what makes you think that about guy no2 missrandomer?

Emmm not going to give away what kind of messages i was getting but it seems to have taken a complete turn from so what you like to do for fun to what is fun if you know what i mean!!

and its like he is rushing to get the coffee out of the way as soon as possible so the next "date" could be planned.
pity though, nothing turns a girl off like a just wanna bang type message.

I cant explain it properly here, i dont even know how much i can say lol

magneticimpulse · 25-09-2012 1:24am

Have a date lined up with Brad pitt lookalike tomorrow. Let's just hope he has the personaility to back up the good looks.

Galvasean · 25-09-2012 2:12am

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Have a date lined up with Brad pitt lookalike tomorrow. Let's just hope he has the personaility to back up the good looks.

You mean you hope he cheats on you with Angelina Jolie? :pac:

Esoteric_ · 25-09-2012 2:53am

So... I might be deleting my profile.. Again. :pac:

Things are getting interesting with someone I met online, NOT on a dating site. Gonna spend another week or so ODing because I have a date or two in the works, but I may possibly be gone soon.

Eek!

Mental Mickey · 25-09-2012 9:50am

LyndaMcL wrote: »

So... I might be deleting my profile.. Again. :pac:

Things are getting interesting with someone I met online, NOT on a dating site. Gonna spend another week or so ODing because I have a date or two in the works, but I may possibly be gone soon.

Eek!

Overdosing??? :eek:

miamee · 25-09-2012 9:59am

Mental Mickey wrote: »

Overdosing??? :eek:

Online Dating

ForeverYoungx · 25-09-2012 10:59am

I signed up for POF just looking for friends. Sounds sad but I have stopped going out to clubs (losing weight and drinking every weekend makes it impossible!) and I moved to a new town where I don't know anyone. So when I seen there was a friends option on POF I was delighted.....but not for long.

After signing up I received probably 200 messages on the first day, most were "hi" or looking for NSA and a large percentage were married. I guess on POF friends=NSA? Despite there being a NSA option. The amount of married men contacting me for sex actually made me feel sick. And they weren't very private either, a few gave me their full names and where they live (I chatted until I found out they were married then cut contact) I uploaded 7/8 pictures and wrote a bit about my interests.

I did get talking to one guy who seemed nice and we planned to meet up, then added each other on FB and I only got one reply from him after that. My POF profile was being all weird (it wouldn't let me reply to a few messages, just kept reloading the page) so I made a new one...noticed he "viewed" me so I clicked on his page..then 10 mins later he had hidden his profile and such...bit extreme I thought? Moral of the story: don't add people to facebook! I rarely even use mine, just go through phases of liking then hating it but he suggested it so I added him.

Around the same time another guy off POF added me on FB and we are still chatting but I think he might be interested in me as more than a friend even though he said at the beginning thats all hes looking for too.

I have since deleted my POF page, don't think i'll be back on there in a hurry! Lasted a total of a whopping 2 whole days.

stargazer 68 · 25-09-2012 11:02am

ForeverYoungx wrote: »

I signed up for POF just looking for friends.

After signing up I received probably 200 messages on the first day, most were "hi" or looking for NSA and a large percentage were married. I guess on POF friends=NSA?
.

Unfortunately the 'friends' option on a lot of sites is NSA. If you are looking for friends only try meeting point. Lots of events etc that you can go to and everyone is really friendly

ForeverYoungx · 25-09-2012 11:14am

Dovies wrote: »

Unfortunately the 'friends' option on a lot of sites is NSA. If you are looking for friends only try meeting point. Lots of events etc that you can go to and everyone is really friendly

Thanks i'll look into that!

miamee · 25-09-2012 11:15am

ForeverYoungx wrote: »

Thanks i'll look into that!

Also meetup.com looks good, I have yet to try any of the meet ups though

stargazer 68 · 25-09-2012 11:17am

miamee wrote: »

Also meetup.com looks good, I have yet to try any of the meet ups though

Oops thats what I meant!

userfriendly2 · 25-09-2012 12:27pm

Having trouble registering on POF and wondering does any1 know what the story is?? I go to register- i'm redirected to a seduction survey test and after i finish it i'm directed to the results page with no further links related to the registration process??
Anyone help me sort this out??

magneticimpulse · 25-09-2012 1:53pm

Galvasean wrote: »

You mean you hope he cheats on you with Angelina Jolie? :pac:

I'm the secret mistress nobody knows about when the kids get too much and he needs some fun time

Seriously I have no idea where the brad pitt look alike just appeared from online dating, but he is hot and he has brains to burn. And lunch with him was not bad either.

Mental Mickey · 25-09-2012 2:07pm

miamee wrote: »

Online Dating

Duuuuuuuuuuh lol

miec · 25-09-2012 2:30pm

All depends on your age, location, etc. I guess that being early 20s (I'm 23), living in Dublin, I have a huge amount of men who would message me on that basis alone.

Oops I should have caveated my statement so. In my experience if one lives outside of Dublin, is over 40 with a kid, the replies are much, much fewer and if they are bat ugly that doesn't help either

(I'm off to hide in my cave).

I respond to profiles based on two things; looks and personality. Yet what I find attractive may differ from other women, for instance I hate football shirts and if I see them I tend not to e-mail the man in most instances. I don't mind a man that is overweight but if he is obese, again I wouldn't e-mail him or if he looks scary looking (popping out eyes, tight mouth - that kind of thing), again I wouldn't.

I agree that we all judge on looks but photos can be deceptive, some people are not photogenic and in real life are much better looking (I have met a couple of men who's photos weren't great but felt that serious phwoar feeling when I met them and luckily they developed into relationships), I have also met men who photograph well and in real life I have felt no attraction but the biggest deciding factor for me is the profile. If a man looks gorgeous but has nothing on his profile I won't e-mail him because I don't know what to say. If a man has no photo but a really funny profile who can write well and has something quirky on it I message him there and then.

Piliger · 25-09-2012 2:43pm

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I'd be more inclined to meesage a girl based on her photos and wheather I find her attractive. I know that might sound shallow, but the rest is just words on a page which may not even be accurate.

I am sure you're right. All I would say is that as we get older we tend to be less dependent on how a lady looks. I am not saying I would go meet someone I find UNattractive .. but I would include a much wider range of 'looks' and then hope for a personality match.

Daveysil15 · 25-09-2012 5:45pm

miec wrote: »

I respond to profiles based on two things; looks and personality.

Again, how do you judge someone's personality over the internet? I always thought this was one of the drawbacks with OD and you just had to wait til you meet the person to see what their personality is like.

Piliger · 25-09-2012 5:55pm

POF.

How can you retrieve content of a "chat" with someone when they are offline ? Is the chat content lost ?

Piliger · 25-09-2012 6:03pm

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Again, how do you judge someone's personality over the internet? I always thought this was one of the drawbacks with OD and you just had to wait til you meet the person to see what their personality is like.

Agree. I don't believe we can judge a personality. All we can do is spot obvious road blocks. Someone who appears really boring. Someone who's SOH is different than ours. Someone who makes us feel uncomfortable. Or someone who seems to really click. They are all just 'indicators' imho. Most people don't trigger any of these and can only really be assessed in person.

pablomakaveli · 25-09-2012 6:06pm

So after i gave up on POF i decided to try a site called UniformDating. I did have to pay for a month but ive had a lot more luck with this site. Im currently messaging two nice girls and would like to meet up with them but im a bit worried about how i will decide between them if things go well.

Anyone faced this kind of situation before?

mood · 25-09-2012 6:38pm

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Again, how do you judge someone's personality over the internet? I always thought this was one of the drawbacks with OD and you just had to wait til you meet the person to see what their personality is like.

You can't properly but I've seen profiles where the man in question seems demanding/boring/odd etc. This may not be the case but sometimes you can't help but be totally put off.

Piliger · 25-09-2012 6:42pm

pablomakaveli wrote: »

So after i gave up on POF i decided to try a site called UniformDating. I did have to pay for a month but ive had a lot more luck with this site. Im currently messaging two nice girls and would like to meet up with them but im a bit worried about how i will decide between them if things go well.

Anyone faced this kind of situation before?

Yes ... it's called jumping fences before you get to them:D Just let things happen, let things unfold. The encounters with each girl will make the decision for you so there is nothing to worry about in advance.

seachto7 · 25-09-2012 8:28pm

Anyone ever try Guardian Soulmates? Seems very sparse for Irish people though.....

Zhora · 25-09-2012 8:28pm

Is it just me? I'm having no luck online, not a single message in months, not really sure why. I hear of females getting loads of messages which has me wondering why my profile isn't attracting anyone. Agh, Any help anyone?

Mental Mickey · 25-09-2012 8:53pm

Zhora wrote: »

Is it just me? I'm having no luck online, not a single message in months, not really sure why. I hear of females getting loads of messages which has me wondering why my profile isn't attracting anyone. Agh, Any help anyone?

I'm the same(except I'm a bloke). I got one message ages ago from someone that just said "Hi". I messaged her back, but never heard from her again???

CastorTroy · 25-09-2012 9:02pm

Mental Mickey wrote: »

I'm the same(except I'm a bloke). I got one message ages ago from someone that just said "Hi". I messaged her back, but never heard from her again???

Wait! We're meant to be able to receive messages? My message receiving thingy must be broke then. :pac:

cantdecide · 25-09-2012 9:05pm

Zhora wrote: »

Is it just me? I'm having no luck online, not a single message in months, not really sure why. I hear of females getting loads of messages which has me wondering why my profile isn't attracting anyone. Agh, Any help anyone?

That sounds surprising alright. What site(s) are you on? Are your settings such that you are precluded from a majority of guys searches?

Zhora · 25-09-2012 9:37pm

I'm on POF and I don't think my settings exclude me from searches..... Oh and when I have messages guys I think seem interesting I don't get a response!

Galvasean · 25-09-2012 10:08pm

Been a long time since I got a mail. In days gone by I'd just leave myself logged in for a while and wait for messages to come to me (the snapping turtle technique I believe we called it). That definitely doesn't work anymore. Heck, neither does the pro-active approach. I've gone from being fairly successful in terms of organising dates/getting replies etc. to my mailbox being a total ghost-town. The thing is though, I really don't know what has changed. It's more puzzling than anything.

Zhora · 25-09-2012 10:19pm

I don't know what it is either. If you amend your profile do you then come up in searches? I don't think my profile is even coming up in searches anymore, maybe that's why....

cantdecide · 25-09-2012 10:25pm

Zhora wrote: »

I don't know what it is either. If you amend your profile do you then come up in searches? I don't think my profile is even coming up in searches anymore, maybe that's why....

You could get someone to give you some feedback on your profile via PM. It's not uncommon...

Galvasean · 25-09-2012 10:25pm

Zhora wrote: »

I don't know what it is either. If you amend your profile do you then come up in searches? I don't think my profile is even coming up in searches anymore, maybe that's why....

I don't think that's it as I'm always tweaking my profile slightly. Doesn't make an iota of difference.

Armaghmagic · 25-09-2012 11:03pm

I got chatting to a lady who has her city set to Dublin, we were messaging away and I admitted that although I play the guitar I am not great at it....to which she replied, "well I may as well be honest about something too, im from Louth, not Dublin".....best news of the day in my world. And not only is she from my county, she is also from my town! 2 bare faced liars in total harmony!

cantdecide · 25-09-2012 11:22pm

Armaghmagic wrote: »

I got chatting to a lady who has her city set to Dublin, we were messaging away and I admitted that although I play the guitar I am not great at it....to which she replied, "well I may as well be honest about something too, im from Louth, not Dublin".....best news of the day in my world. And not only is she from my county, she is also from my town! 2 bare faced liars in total harmony!

Ever seen 'I'm Git You Sucka'?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-1C6QlvHl8

The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

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The Online Dating Thread 3..READ 1ST POST Oct 2012