cheeckiest thing ya ever siad to a teacher

Told a teacher to fück off once. In context, he was an old history teacher who handled discipline the old fashioned way, the German guy behind me got a question wrong, the teacher couldn't reach him to punch him so he punched me in the arm instead. My gut reaction was to tell him to fück off, which he didn't actually realise until the guy next to me went "WAAAY! He told him to fück off!". So he grabbed me by the shirt and said "Inside every nice guy, there's a knacker waiting to get out". Still laugh when I see him in town nowadays, retired and now just a bitter old man with no authority.

His son also teaches in the same school, who took an instant dislike to me before we even started school. Being a "rugby school", we had rugby camp the summer before 1st year. Apparently he remembered me laughing at the word "hooker" when he was naming out the different rugby positions. Later that week he threatened to kick me off the course because I cursed when a try I scored was disallowed.

When we started school, he was a prick. When I had him for class he was grand because I generally worked and answered questions. Outside, he was a sarcastic and petty cünt. The kind of person who would walk into a free class and confiscate a CD player just to piss you off. When we got to the last week in 6th year, he was a marked man. This operation involved his classroom, 6 men and 3 super-soakers. We waited in his class (his 4th years found this hilarious) until he walked in. Two guys guarded the back windows and another guy blocked the door from the outside. We stepped out and soaked the shyte out of him. He tried to escape, but couldn't. When leaving the room one of the lads turned around and gave him one last shot to the groin area so it looked as if he had pissed himself. Had been waiting for 6 years for that and didn't get in trouble as it was the last day and the school was worried about more "serious" pranks!

After our graduation ball, we decided to go back up to school the next morning, still half cut and call into classes. It was all going grand until we hit his. Trying to look cool in front of his 3rd years, he started laying into us with comments about only buying suits for court appearances and such. Just as we were leaving, he tried to have the last word. This was not going to happen. Before the door closed I popped my head back around and explained to his class that "he acts like a big man to compensate for tiny penis". Door slam. Last time I saw him until a few years later I went back up to the school to talk to one of my ex German teachers about teaching. He was perfectly grand then!

Other times we put a H-Dip's car up for sale around the school and hi-jacked the intercom for a pirate radio broadcast. Good times!

The funniest thing about this is that I'm now a teacher and I fully acknowledge the fact that I was a bästard to teach!

NothingMan wrote: »

http://www.ratemyteacher.ie

Just checked up a guy on this. He's still there almost 30 years later.

Only had one run-in with him. I'd a lot of respect for him as a teacher, so much so that I never missed his class. Except once.

One morning we had him for Maths, and he didn't turn up. That afternoon, we had him for Science and I didnt turn up, knowing that the other teachers wouldn't give a shite who was in the class.

The next day he pulled me aside, after I'd been informed that he'd shown up in the afternoon, and asked me where I was.

"Well, you didn't show up for my maths class in the morning, so I didn't show up for your science class in the afternoon."

It seems it was the straw that broke the camels back and I was "advised" by the principal that I shouldn't return to the school after the summer.

For a quiet guy who got one of the better leaving certs in my year I had my share of run ins with teachers...

There were two different teachers I squared up to and invited to deck me so I could hit back in the knowledge we'd both be suspended but their suspensions would be without pay. The first was itching to belt me but thought better of it and the second was so surprised he didn't know what to do...

The one I'd have been known best for in school though wouldn't have been anything I said though... I got caught having a banter with one of the other lads by a fairly reasonable English teacher who decided it'd be great craic to make me teach the class since I "obviously knew it all". So, I took over the class whilst he sat in my desk clipping the guy who sat in front of me playfully about the ears and (as he'd have called it) "generally acting the maggot".

"So", thinks I, "I'm the teacher, so I'll do what most of other teachers would do to a lad who's messing" and hurled the chalk duster at his head whilst roaring out "*****, behave yourself!"

To be fair, he dodged it and took it as the joke it was. The rest of the class were just sitting there with their jaws on their desks wondering how I got away with it.

Way back in the 70's we had a wood work teacher that was hard of hearing and it was a fairly regular occurance that he was asked "can I fcuk your daughter?" When he asked what? the response was always "can I have a drink of water?
He never copped on and must have though that he was slowly losing his marbles.

I was quiet guy in school and in irish i hadn't a clue the teacher was useless he was involved in an incident with a student every year.

I had the joy of having him for irish and english.

In one English class he had said i was stupid and shouldnt be doing higher level. Great confidence building for me that was.

One day I was in his irish class having no interest

I was at the back of the class doodling and got caught.

Lowry - Mr Brown what are you doing
Me - Doodling
Lowry - Come up here and show us your work
*walk up to the class and show my scribbling
Lowry - Now why where you doing that

that point i snapped

Me - Because your a sh1t teacher no one in this class/school respects you you can't teach for sh1t and i've tried to get moved to a better teacher but can't.

He was a big man and had been known to puck a few kids before.
The rest of the class went quiet.
He growled at come with me to the vice principles office

As we left the class a huge cheer went up

Had to tell the VP what i had said and to this day i remember Mr Johnston had a slight smile on his face.

After that the teacher "retired" that summer rumours going around he had gotten a load more complaints before my outburst.

So yeah my one bit of rebellion.

O yeah, remember another one,

We had this really camp teacher he had this really feminate voice.

Me and One of the lads where working in the leisureplex and i had managed to get a snap of him in the dinosaur suit with the helment off.

This went around the math class before the teacher had arrived and ended on his desk

When he came in someone had written on the photo in a sharpie

Happy Valentines day Sir, I love you.

It was Feb 14th too.

So when the teacher see's it a big smile breaks out on his face and he says in the most effeminate voice ever

"Ah Karl ya shouldn't have"

The rest of the class didnt know it was written on it till he showed it to the class

Karl started laughing and couldnt stop,

After 10 mins he was thrown out of the class for being a nuicence.

i was never a goody goody bur i wasnt a scumbag either i was always in the middle at school i like everyone else in my year had some magical ones but i forget most of them the one that got me into the most trouble was when our french teacher said something pure ridiculous and annoying so i told her to "stop talking complete and utter bull****
another time the ( very sexy) home ec teacher was carrying a tray of cakes and scones and stuff across the assembly area so i screamed at the top of my lungs "miss youve got some lovely buns"

Me Me wrote: »

Miss that's quuare ignorant, still can't remember why I said it tho:)

"quuare" your obviously from fethard

there was a lad went to my school i work in the same shop as him now he's sound out.there was this absolutely savage irish teacher at the time and in his 5th year a few of his friends paid him 20 euro to grab her ass. he did it and got suspended for 2 weeks he didnt last long after though

My Irish teacher who had a stutter was giving out to a good few people in our class before our orals for doing little work, when really we had done a fair amount. Starts giving out to me

"Look at you, you've done very little work, you're sitting there smirking and going into your oral in a hour"
"I'm grand for it sir, I've done more than enough work"
"Don't give me that crap, you've done nothing"
"Right ye whatever sir"
"And tell me, what are you going to done when you go in and realise you're screwed and haven't got a notion" (This pissed me off, long story)
"Well then sir I'll guess I'll use your technique, I'll slur and stutter all my words like a ****ing retard"

our construction studies teacher was the strictest old skool bollix of a man you could ever meet.
one day he asked me "how are you today?" and for no reason i simply said "ahh yano yerself sir, same sh!t different day!"..a smile cracked along his stoney aul face.

Went on a rant about how a certain teacher was being a b*tch to me and the class. I was out for a week because of a car crash and sure enough as soon as I sat down in class she barks at me to stand up. I just about get to my feet when she starts shouting questions and looking for answers to the others, comes to me and asked me something and I said "I don't know miss, I was out" cue this happening five times and me getting a head ache. "Miss I don't know and I really don't freaking care ok!? I was in a freaking car crash and I can barely walk, so you can shove your attitude up your ass and stop picking on me because I don't know your f*cking answers!" She stood there and you could just see her jaw dropping. Ah secondary school:pac:

Ah my type of thread! My german teacher is an incompitant a**hole who someday I will kill. But that's beside the point!

Many things were said but my proudest had to be when he told me to stop talking, when I hadn't said a word!

Anyway a screaming match followed and when he said he swore on the bible I promptly replyed I'll fcuk the bible at your head you (insert string of the most foul abusive language you can imagine)

Best bit was i didn't get suspended!

Saying cheeky things to teachers without ending up outside the principals office was indeed an artform in itself. The secret was really what age you were and what year of school you were in.

I was a good student, but I often gave a bit of cheek or had a bit of banter with the teachers and always got away with it...

We had a witch of an english teacher, well she turned out fairly helpful in the end but one day we were revising Macbeth and she was trying to draw a "mind-map" on the board. She was trying to draw a witch and she said Oh I dont know how to draw a witch... I said, quick as a flash, "Have a look in the mirror miss"... It was one of those cases where I just said it, and as I said it I tried to suck it back in again but it was no good. All the lads were like Oooohhh but she was trying to hold in the laughter herself... she knew she was hung dry... but she got me back with some smart comment again after that.

And that was the beauty of some of my teachers, they were up for a bit of banter, they werent straight out with the referral book, they'd admit defeat but they would get you back again later...

My Irish teacher was the biggest legend ever, we had such craic with him. He was a cool guy, but was kind of "going over the hill" His hair was going grey and he was getting the odd wrinkle on his forehead.

One day we were doing a poem about this woman who goes to this island when she is feeling down. She says in the poem "In this Island my hair stops going grey and I stop getting wrinkles" (The teacher was translating it for us). As soon as he said it I looked up and I caught his eye and I said, "God sir you could do with a trip to that Island.." And again he put the head down and tried to hold in the laughter.

But needless to say that Irish teacher got me back good and put me in my place too. He was such a legend, he is the principle of a school now, some legend of a man.

But that was the secret, find the teachers that dont mind the banter and will give back as good as they get.