cheeckiest thing ya ever siad to a teacher

Superbus · 09-06-2010 12:22am

To an English teacher who perennially rolls his 'r's - 'You know, you shouldn't roll your 'r's. It sounds pretentious.'

He laughed, and sort of stopped doing it.

I'm such a rebel it kind of hurts.

ibFoxer · 09-06-2010 12:22am

Jesus......

I went back to repeat some time ago and ended up trying to cram building construction into 1 year. The Teacher(and i use the term loosely) used to hound me for not being up to speed on the practical with the rest of the class. We used to do a double first thing on a tuesday after lunch where we would all get busy with the project, except for one particular tuesday where in hies infinite wisdom our "teacher" decided it would be best for all if we did theory. Needless to say i was none too happy and i lost it completely, i reckon i called him every name under the sun, so bad that he ran from the room in tears up to the principal.

Needless to say i was hailed as a legend by the rest of the idiots, but told to get my coat by the principal....... after a weeks holidays i was given 2 choices, leave or get thrown out. I chose the former.

AskMyChocolate · 09-06-2010 12:24am

Almost obliged to post this, being AH. Happened in a mate's class not mine:

Young female English teacher describing how Shakespeare uses the juxtaposition between light and shade to signify the battle between good and evil. As an afterthought she asks,"Does everyone know what juxtaposition means?" To which one young lad pipes up, "You'd better ask Brian Cullen miss, his Ma knows every position."

DanHendrix · 09-06-2010 12:28am

Im a movie fanatc.Will Ferrell is god.Love all his quotes so I used one,one day in class. Business teacher and I never really got on. She always recked me head and on occasion gave me detention for drinking water in class:mad: So shes recking me head one day,the day after I get let go from my part time job.I just lost it. "Suck my cock ill murder your family" I just let a roar. 4 days and a written apology!!!I regretted it immediately after

Turns out the next week im on prescription pills for stress!! Ah well!!

mink_man · 09-06-2010 12:29am

last week of school we had an old teacher and he hated us and would be glad to see the back of us....anyway one of the lads threw a stink bomb in the classroom when he was gone out, came back, next say they were tryin to find out who it was, and we had the same teacher for theory (construction)...and he kept lookin at this particular lad because he didnt like him, anyways the lad pushed his table back in anger and shouted at the teacher...

"you think I fúckin did it ya príck, but I didn't fúckin do it ya bollix....dick!"

teahcer just said

"don't use that language in my classroom, vice principal who was interviewing us to see who did it, just walkin then and said

"right danny"

then danny knew where to go from there! :P

CD. · 09-06-2010 12:29am

my english teacher hated me. she told me and my parents that i would fail higher level english.

i got an A2 in english and while checking an exam paper in another subject, she came over with this false smile and said "that was unexpected wasn't it?" i shrugged and said "not really" she gave me the dirtiest look then she asked if my parents were pleased with the results and prattling about how nice my mum was at the parent teacher meeting. i was getting pissed off because she was distracting me and time was running out and before i thought about what i was saying i replied "thats nice, but she thinks your a c*nt." she was shocked and just walked off.

it was true in all fairness and she left me alone.

fulhamfanincork · 09-06-2010 12:30am

I once shot my teacher...with a gun.

pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew

*Note this may not necessarily be true but I thought that I would make up a story just like 90% of you guys did.

Redzer7 · 09-06-2010 12:35am

fulhamfanincork wrote: »

I once shot my teacher...with a gun.

pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew

*Note this may not necessarily be true but I thought that I would make up a story just like 90% of you guys did.

Most of them seen pretty real to me

.

JayMul · 09-06-2010 12:36am

When I was very young 7-8 I threw something across the class and this auld bitch of a substitute teacher spotted me.

Teacher : (at me) Stand up!
I stand up.
Teacher : repeat after me "I'm a silly goose."
Me staring blankly.
Teacher (getting angry) : I said repeat after me "I'm a silly goose."
Me: You're a silly goose!

SIX PACK · 09-06-2010 12:44am

I asked a teacher once if she ever had a wet dream " she didnt tke it too kindly..-- got suspended for a week doh

bmw535d · 09-06-2010 12:56am

my Irish teacher in secondary school was a right old bitch, so she was slagging our Ag science teacher for miss hearing her when she said she was 7 months pregnant, i think he said " so your due in feb" which was wrong cos it didn't add up. anyway being in a class full of Ag science students i turned around to the fellow behind me and said maybe he was thinking 3 months 3 weeks 3 days. thats all i had to say and everyone studying ag science burst into a 5 minute laugh as it was one of those laughy days. mean wile any1 who didn't know what i was on about joined in laughing, the teacher was clueless giving me the worst look ever trying her best to figure it out.

it was one of my proudest moments in school ill never forget it,

(a pig is pregnant for 3 months 3 weeks 3 days)

another time in the same class same teacher she used to write everything you did in a black book, so she would have a record on parents day, she said to somebody ill put it in the book,,i replied " its all in the book" copying something i saw on tv cant remember what. maybe somebody hear knows who famously says its all i the book,

not so much cheeky but very funny at the time

Royale with Cheese · 09-06-2010 12:58am

Think it was about second year (back in the 90s:eek:). A teacher was marking attendance and up comes a name of a guy that wasn't in that day. The teacher asked if anybody knew why, and somebody answered that he was out sick with glandular fever. Thinking he was really cool and down with the kids the teachers then asks the class "who's he been kissing?". Without thinking I just blurted out "yore ma".

Got detention for it, but I'd say it was worth it.

El Siglo · 09-06-2010 12:58am

JayMul wrote: »

When I was very young 7-8 I threw something across the class and this auld bitch of a substitute teacher spotted me.

Teacher : (at me) Stand up!
I stand up.
Teacher : repeat after me "I'm a silly goose."
Me staring blankly.
Teacher (getting angry) : I said repeat after me "I'm a silly goose."
Me: You're a silly goose!

You're teacher wasn't Big Gay Al by any chance?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkaIb9uifLI

I didn't cause trouble because there was enough people doing that, although I did tell everyone to fuck off after getting my leaving, twas a proud moment.:D

Professey Chin · 09-06-2010 12:59am

bmw535d wrote: »

another time in the same class same teacher she used to write everything you did in a black book, so she would have a record on parents day, she said to somebody ill put it in the book,,i replied " its all in the book" copying something i saw on tv cant remember what. maybe somebody hear knows who famously says its all i the book,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8k1d8uX9Gw

Its in the book!

mink_man · 09-06-2010 1:06am

we used to give back cheek to our teahcer and he used to kinda join in makin jokes, but one day he said "right no more smart answers!....then i said, i thought we were here to make us smarter?!" he did not like it...

plein de force · 09-06-2010 1:10am

she told me what she thought of me as a student and i told her what a bad,incompotent excuse of a teacher she was, didn't get in trouble for it but she did try and make life as difficult for me as she could in her class for the rest of the year

Bajingo · 09-06-2010 1:14am

tony1kenobi wrote: »

I was thrown out of my maths class with another lad and we were told to write a 500 word essay on "the inside of a golf ball"......

.....I wrote "the inside of a golf ball is a c*nt,you're a c*nt,and while you're reading this I'm having a spliff in the bog"

I was asked to leave the school and was not invited back until they were looking for exam fees.....

No way..I was given that essay!

Lone Stone · 09-06-2010 1:20am

When i was in secondery school my english teacher threw the role book at me for calling him a care bear :eek:

I nick named my geography teacher eye go from sligo and made her cry in the class and eh hmm what else ow i drew a nasty picture of jesus in that religious studys class one time and said some stuff when the teacher called me evil and i was kicked out of the class for ever :eek:

emm meny other things i wont go into.

Selected · 09-06-2010 1:20am

Royale With Cheese..........MMmmmmm.....:pac:

jdooley28 · 09-06-2010 1:24am

Redzer7 wrote: »

Saying batman to a mad fùcker of a teacher who eats chalk, brave man and suffered the consequences. Legend in my eyes anyways.

Fair enough. But why batman?

Bonito · 09-06-2010 1:24am

My brother.

There's a new, young, hot piece of ass of a teacher in his school. So hot that the lads couldn't help themselves.

Eventually she got wind of some of the comments being made in the corridors so she sat down my brothers class and this is what happened.

Teacher: Now, lads, I've heard a few of the comments about me going round and I don't mind you all talking about me but please whisper. I don't mind so long as you whisper.

As she's talking she's walking up and down the class and she stops just as she passes my brother's seat.

Brother whispers to friend beside him: I wouldn't mind if you sat on my knob.

Unknown to him she hears him, he thought she kept walking down the class.

She takes a step back and looks down at him.

Teacher: As I said, so long as you whisper I don't mind.

He went as red as a strawberry and the whole class burst their bollox laughing.

tony1kenobi · 09-06-2010 1:38am

shoelaceface wrote: »

WAS THAT A MUPPET OF A SUBSTITUTE TEACHER?? OR WAS THERE JUST A BATCH OF THEM HANDING OUT THAT ESSAY BECAUSE I GOT THE SAME ONE.

No he was my maths teacher...not a sub.....he also used to issue press ups as a punishment....which I never did.....because he could never explain the validity of equating maths shortfalls to push ups....that is possibly why I spent a lot of time getting binned in the toilets...

By the way after being invited back to pay for the exams I passed everything rather impressively.....must be all the press ups I didn't do.

Nadurlann · 09-06-2010 1:42am

1st year 1985 Colaiste Eanna Ballyboden, Dublin V Mayo, the teacher vaguely knew my father who was a mayo man like himself and at the time tickets were sparce the teacher asked in class if anybody had tickets, i put up my hand and said i had, i could see the excitement in his eyes as he copped i was half Mayo, which stand he asked, Hill 16 i replied to howls of laughter that were heard the school over, frightened the ****e out of me for 2yrs after though.

TangyZizzle · 09-06-2010 1:45am

The teacher opened the classroom door from inside, I was first in cos I wanted to sit at the back of the room. She grabbed the strap of my bag and was about to say something when I snapped "Dont fookin touch me!,"

I only got kicked out for the class, for the day and she gave me a lil speech while I hung my head in shame. I wasnt a bad kid, and amnt even now.. but I was forever tryin to impress the lads

Pj! · 09-06-2010 2:02am

Like many of these, you had to be there.

But we had a teacher we one day gave one too many smart answers to. She ups and leaves, saying she just needed 5 minutes to calm down.

5 mins later she's walks back up the hall to a silent classroom. She walked in and we had all faced our desks the other way and had re-located the teachers desk and chair to the opposite side of the room.
To be fair she could have taught away but she just looked, turned and left.

upandcumming · 09-06-2010 2:51am

Not me but one of the shams...
"MISS!, How does it feel to have a big cock in your gee?"
Cúnt got suspended.

Another one of them was doodleing one day and the most stupid teacher I ever had told him that he was very artistic. He just replies
"I think its Autistic miss."

Someones phone went off and a silly dick of a teacher tells me to give him my phone. I tell him that it wasn't mine as mine was out of battery. He insists and I tell him "Piss of you old prick, it wasn't mine!" Detention.

jd007 · 09-06-2010 2:54am

One of my teachers really started annoying me one day so I got up and kicked my chair down the room, walked up to her and told her she was like a bit of meat stuck in my teeth and warned that if she wasn't careful I'd get a toothpick. :P:D

Sorry Bonito!

m@cc@ · 09-06-2010 3:12am

hurleronditch wrote: »

One of the maths teachers in my school had this saying that he used to keep saying, that "the A's end up working for the B's". a nice thought, and maybe not too far wrong, but i didnt need to hear it every day.

I'm confused, why would the A's work for the B's?

Me Me · 09-06-2010 3:30am

Miss that's quuare ignorant, still can't remember why I said it tho:)

IvySlayer · 09-06-2010 3:57am

tony1kenobi wrote: »

I was thrown out of my maths class with another lad and we were told to write a 500 word essay on "the inside of a golf ball"......

.....I wrote "the inside of a golf ball is a c*nt,you're a c*nt,and while you're reading this I'm having a spliff in the bog"

I was asked to leave the school and was not invited back until they were looking for exam fees.....

I had a teacher that would threaten us with that essay too. Miss Murphy, geography if I remember correctly.

I never really was cheeky to my teachers, although I called my Irish teacher a stupid bitch after our graduation mass. She couldn't abuse her power there

Also, one of my friends asked a substitue teacher to 'show me your boobs' He was suspended for a week

JayzuzHowiye · 09-06-2010 3:58am

had a teacher who was a marist brother, looked like basil faulty.. asked him was he a virgin.. wasn't too impressed.

was caught smoking hash one day during school and i just let roar at the vice principal, screamed obsenities at him for a few minutes and squared up to him. amazingly i didn't get in trouble for it, think i scared him :O

SarahBeep! · 09-06-2010 4:23am

IvySlayer wrote: »

I had a teacher that would threaten us with that essay too.

Everyone's been threatened with that I'd say! And 'Life inside an easter egg'

I was getting suspended with 3 mates on friday evening once coz a girl accused me of something I didnt do. Told her I expected more from her as principal of the school to be believing such rubbish...bitch gave me an extra day suspension, the girls got 2 days I got 3! Of course mam knew I was innocent so she wasn't gonna be giving me a hard time at home so i thought to myself woo - 3 days holiday! Sure wasn't my conviction overturned on the monday and we were allowed back, outta spite i took three days

Used to drive my art teacher bananas but she knew I was only having a laugh. Had some of the best banter with that woman, have so much time for her. Threatened to lock me in a cupboard once, just as the principal walked in. Ahahaha.

In first year I was thrown out of home ec for saying fruit salad wasn't real cooking!

I really do miss the school days. To this day, the smallest thing can send me into a fit of giggles.

The funniest bit? I'm training to be a teacher :P
Karma is coming....

revz · 09-06-2010 4:32am

Back in 3rd year coming up to the Junior Cert, in History class (our teacher was a bit of a...pushover), our teacher was giving us another lecture on how important the JC was and how serious we should all be taking it, he then started the class, opening the book and saying "alright lads, this is the final chapter"
Then from the back of the room someone shouted "It's the final chapter!" a la Final countdown by Europe. It was as if we all knew what we had to do and soon the whole room was singing along, including the synth bits and everything, was hilarious!

For those of you who now have the urge to listen to Europe: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_IKcMl_a9A&NR=1

Alright · 09-06-2010 6:54am

Young (not bad looking) Religion Teacher. Probably not long out of College and she had the task of giving us a talk about sex.
She outlines the class ahead and asks are there any questions before she starts?
One lad put up his hand and asks where's the clitorus?

The Class explodes laughing!!!

She freaks out shouting the audacity of it

Next question she's asked is what's audacity.....she runs out crying

Principle and Vice Principle are down within 5mins giving out yards calling us
all bowsies....we were only 13

m@cc@ · 09-06-2010 6:56am

"You've got cold hands"

owenc · 09-06-2010 7:50am

Alright wrote: »

Young (not bad looking) Religion Teacher. Probably not long out of College and she had the task of giving us a talk about sex.
She outlines the class ahead and asks are there any questions before she starts?
One lad put up his hand and asks where's the clitorus?

The Class explodes laughing!!!

She freaks out shouting the audacity of it

Next question she's asked is what's audacity.....she runs out crying

Principle and Vice Principle are down within 5mins giving out yards calling us
all bowsies....we were only 13

Ha... well now a days theres 12 years old doing that.. they think they're that.. but really they are losers..

Mackman · 09-06-2010 9:04am

Wow, a lot of teenagers are assholes

Jumpy · 09-06-2010 9:13am

Ben Hadad wrote: »

Said to a Jesuit Priest who was talking to me.

"Father can I take my hands out of your pockets when you are talking to me"

FYP

stovelid · 09-06-2010 9:34am

Mackman wrote: »

Wow, a lot of teenagers are assholes

Think I'd last as a teacher for about two weeks before putting someone through a window tbh....

4zn76tysfajdxp · 09-06-2010 9:38am

Giving a teacher money for something or other in copper coins:

Teacher: Ah Frada, do you not have anything else? I hate carrying around change.

Fourteen-year-old Me: So do I, that's why I'm giving it to you.

I also told that same teacher she "blagged" her promotion to vice-principal two years later in front of the rest of the class. It wasn't appreciated.

Einstein · 09-06-2010 9:48am

In 6th year we had a PE teacher who knew nothing about PE...it was the crappest PE class in the country...for some reason he was always known as Horsey Gallagher...one day we were all a bit rowdy before PE and i let out my biggest horse impression...for some bizarre reason everyone else stopped talking right before I burst into my farmyard impression and the teacher just stared at me...i swear i thought he was gonna put me through a window...

Banned Account · 09-06-2010 9:50am

In my older brothers geography class, the teacher was talking about a huge coal mine/field in Germany

So kids, on the top layers you find peat and soft brown coals, on the very bottom layers, you have your hard black coals such as anthracite.

"Jimmy, what do you find in the middle layers?"

Jimmy: "Heatlogs"

NothingMan · 09-06-2010 10:12am

Got on really well with our religion teacher but even at 16/17 I was fairly set in my atheist views, so when he tried to explain the difference between a religion and a cult I just couldn't keep my mouth closed. I told him the only difference was scale. He just lost it. Screamed at me for a minute then calmed down and kept talking. I was shocked into silence as he went on to explain how a cult has a hierarchy (and a religion doesn't

). I lost a little respect for him then cos I thought he was a bit more open minded to discussion. Still the nicest teacher I ever had though.

bossa_nova · 09-06-2010 10:21am

i remeber back when i was doing the german orals, and the room for the orals was right next to another classroom that had a class from our year doing foundation maths, so needless to say their was loads of shouting going on that you could hear trough the walls ,then their teacher yelled
" lads quite theirs a test goin on next door"
, to which one off me mates shouted
" Yeah lads.. the nazis are next door",:P:P

Krusader · 09-06-2010 10:22am

Not really me but whole class participation, had a bítch of an Irish teacher, so before class we got a piece of paper and wrote "Miss Robinson is a slapper" with everyone writing 1 letter and left it on her desk, when she came in and seen it, she ran out crying

Banned Account · 09-06-2010 10:24am

One time i siad to my teecher someting reely cheecky - it was funnie.

sbEdge · 09-06-2010 11:55am

Coming up to the leaving cert our honours Irish class were doing mock orals. The gorgeous teacher took us out of the classroom into another room one by one and left the rest of the class unattended. After my turn she came back into the classroom with me to call the next person. She was obviously impressed mith my peformance, she said in front of the class "that was the best oral I've ever had" the whole class burst out laughing and started congratulating me. I felt a bit sorry for her because she was sound.

Creed Bratton · 09-06-2010 12:32pm

One time in Irish class we were doing a story about a guy that got attacked by a dog. The dog was barking in the story and the teacher started barking so then I said (quite loudly) "I always knew you were a dog"

Lets just say she was not happy...

ROCKMAN · 09-06-2010 12:33pm

Showing my age.

Back in the days when teachers used more than words to control pupils and classes , when a few slaps to the back of the head [or more] followed by a visit to the heads office for a date with the blackjack was the norm.

One day a certain nasty and violent Woodwork Teacher was making a bee-line for me with rage /murder in his eyes , When I shout in my best psycho voice...
COME NEAR ME AND I'LL HIT YOU SO HARD I'LL KILL YOUR GRANKIDS

[Heard it in a movie or something] , Anyway it stop him in his tracks.............

For about 2 seconds ,
Got battered and keep my appointment with the Blackjack after.:(:(

..

Stercus Accidit · 09-06-2010 1:15pm

Do ye remember the summer exams?

shite that you have to study for, in 5th year, not important but wreck your holiday build up?

I was in a study session, first day of it, and some teacher was minding us, whatever transpired I was put outside the door.

Along walks some jumped up sh1te of a teacher asking me why I'm outside, I effectively said it was none of his business and called him a prick, maybe fuck off and all, don't remember.

My punishment...

Two weeks suspension, missing the study period AND summer exams themselves, I was straight into my holliers,

I had to go with mammy to see him and the principal, I grinned and stared the teacher out of it for the full 10-20 minutes we were there, he was very uncomfortable.

I got drinking asap, ah 5th year summer!

cheeckiest thing ya ever siad to a teacher

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