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When did you realize you are L,G,B or T

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    #32
    Aurongroove
    Registered Users Posts: 876 ✭✭✭Aurongroove


    about 15/16


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    #33
    Chevaliers
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭Chevaliers


    I realized i was atleast bisexual when i was fifteen or sixteen but as i kept dating men i started to realize it wasnt for me..and its so hard because the girl im in love with really doesnt know what she is and is too scared to even try and that hinders me alot im twenty four and im still a closeted lesbian to everyone but her


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    #34
    coolperson05
    Registered Users Posts: 280 ✭✭coolperson05


    Confused for years...until I was 18 and got with a guy. The first kiss I remember thinking, "right, this is for me!" lol
    I was lucky in that sense that then I just 'knew'. Unfortunately, it's not been as straightforward since!! :rolleyes:


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    #35
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I was around 13/14 when I knew that I was attracted to guys, but it wasn't for another few years until I knew I'd never fancy any girl
    And like coolperson05 said, the kiss sealed the deal! ;)


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    #36
    coolperson05
    Registered Users Posts: 280 ✭✭coolperson05


    ah_ha wrote: »
    I was around 13/14 when I knew that I was attracted to guys, but it wasn't for another few years until I knew I'd never fancy any girl
    And like coolperson05 said, the kiss sealed the deal! ;)

    *blushes* :P


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    #37
    Freiheit
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,783 ✭✭✭Freiheit


    You know it was strange from my (what I now realise is a trans ) perspective, I was perceived as gay throughout my late teens/early/mid 20's due to my expression,I wasn't attracted to men but I suffered the same homophobia that a lot of gay people did and it was bad,working in a country bar,farm labourers who wanted to show off,but in my heart I new I was somewhere on the transgender spectrum although I'm not sure if I acknowledged it or new that label.

    I remember a Transsexual being on Gay Byrnes Late Late Show in what was probably the late 80's,or at latest early 90's,could it have been Rebecca De Havelaand?. Heard her talk of about how 'she used to have a penis and now she has a fanny'.those words stuck with me althouh I didn't realise then that I was one of them.

    Stranger still I did actually think I was gay around the period 14-15 but the feeling passed.

    Now I'm starting to like men again,although not the alpha type,what a mixed up lgbt person i am.


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    #38
    Sardonicat
    Registered Users Posts: 12,378 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    I recall fancying some gymnast during the ' 76 Olympics (I was 5, she was called Nadia Something ). And I remember being taken to see some Disney film with Jodie Foster in it when I was about 6-7. She made me feel all "strange and goosebumpy".

    Always fancied boys and girls but never thought anything of it 'til I was a teenager. Got a crush on a girl at 15, still didn't think anything of it.

    Fell in love with a girl at 18-19 at which point the realisation fell on me like a tonne of bricks. I was different, a perv, I would always be alone, blah, blah, blah... Funny, it seemed like such a tragedy then. It's a real "so what", now. But would prefer to be one or the other.

    Jodie still makes me feel "funny".:o


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    #39
    Aurongroove
    Registered Users Posts: 876 ✭✭✭Aurongroove


    I should also point out I had numerous sweethearts as a kid, just girls I though were 'lovely' and who I 'wanted to marry' when I grew up.

    I was a real book worm when I was young too I used to enjoy reading encyclopedias and I knew about the birds and the bees and what adults do and nothing shocked me.
    I would be embarrassed about thinking about kissing girls and marrying one and wouldn't look twice at other boys privates in changing rooms etc
    So when I basically hit puberty and something in my mind started running around with the lead marked "sex" and not knowing where to plug it in, it shook me up pretty badly.


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    #40
    Luke!
    Registered Users Posts: 21 ✭Luke!


    Well I'm 15 and it's only really been in the last year I've accepted that I'm bi I sorta realised after realising I fancied my best friend who's a guy.
    Is it just me or were other people pretty big homopobes when they were kids? I was unfortuneately.


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    #41
    Aurongroove
    Registered Users Posts: 876 ✭✭✭Aurongroove


    Luke! wrote: »
    Is it just me or were other people pretty big homopobes when they were kids? I was unfortuneately.

    kids tend to "absorb sentiments" from adults around them (parents and role models especially) almost as easily as they do physical traits and actions. It's really only once you're a teen you stop doing it.

    kids being homophobic is probably a result of grown ups having negative or dismissive views on LGBT and although perhaps not fully expressing them in children's company or quickly changing the subject, still probably doing enough to pass on a lingering sentiment which kids (who emulate adult behavior during their development) pick up almost through assimilative osmosis.

    it's similar to children inheriting though processes, deep spiritual beliefs or particular phobias. To a child the energy surrounding an adult being frightened by a mouse for example would probably quickly overwhelm any feelings the child itself might have felt and instead the assumption that "mice are very scary things" is what prevails.

    It;s my guess that if you raised a child and you yourself completely accept homosexuality etc, that the child would 9 times out of 10 also accept it like it was no big deal.


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    #42
    filmbuffboy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 894 ✭✭✭filmbuffboy


    I was 8 or 9 when I began to feel attracted to lads, but it was probably around 12 or 13 when those attractions surfaced to become more conscious.

    I hate when people ask you: 'well, how do you know if youre gay if youve never done it with a girl'. And I reply, ' well, how do you know youre straight if youve never done it with someone of the same gender?' ... That usually shuts them up :D


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    #43
    Rory28
    Registered Users Posts: 1,190 ✭✭✭Rory28


    bout 9 or 10 in hindsight. Rufio from hook had me in tizzy. (swoon)

    Did it again. The last post was 2 years ago. sigh.


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    #44
    nobodyknows
    Registered Users Posts: 70 ✭✭nobodyknows


    I went to an all boys school primary growing up and felt attraction to some of the guys so at the time I just assumed I was gay, growing up I had a few gay relations and was very acutely aware of the different forms of sexuality and gender so I was completely fine with idea of being gay and knew there was nothing wrong with it.

    In the senior cycle of secondary school we shared some subject with the girls school down the road so there was an influx of the number girls I knew and found myself attracted to some, at first I thought it was like a "straight phase", I thought it was only happening because it was a new experience.

    I soon figured out that the persons gender isn't a primary factor when it comes to attraction for me so I now consider myself Bi.

    I realise that growing up I had it easy compared to others, I never worried that something was wrong with me, I knew from as far back as I can remember that whatever my sexuality was, it was normal and okay.
    This sometimes makes me feel like when it comes to LGBTQ issues and rights that I can't comment because I've not experienced the hardships that other have.


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    #45
    spurious
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 27,138 CMod ✭✭✭✭spurious


    First inklings that I might be a bit different at 8. Like Sardonicat, Jodie Foster in anything did it for me and still does.

    Slightly disappointed to find out at about 14 that not all girls felt the same way I did, but thankfully there were enough who did to go around. :)

    Good old Jodie came through too.


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    #46
    daithi84
    Registered Users Posts: 197 ✭✭daithi84


    I knew i liked other boys when i was 12. I didnt know what gay was and was confused as to why other boys didnt like other boys. I wasn't educated about sexual orientation at all in school, think our first sex education class was in 5th year with 2 pregnant girls in the class so was a bit redundant. I do remember around 14 things started clicking into place and realising i was gay and what gay was. Started coming out to friends when i left school after the leaving at 17.


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    #47
    PeterJC!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 90 ✭✭PeterJC!


    Aurongroove wrote: »
    kids tend to "absorb sentiments" from adults around them (parents and role models especially) almost as easily as they do physical traits and actions. It's really only once you're a teen you stop doing it.

    kids being homophobic is probably a result of grown ups having negative or dismissive views on LGBT and although perhaps not fully expressing them in children's company or quickly changing the subject, still probably doing enough to pass on a lingering sentiment which kids (who emulate adult behavior during their development) pick up almost through assimilative osmosis.

    it's similar to children inheriting though processes, deep spiritual beliefs or particular phobias. To a child the energy surrounding an adult being frightened by a mouse for example would probably quickly overwhelm any feelings the child itself might have felt and instead the assumption that "mice are very scary things" is what prevails.

    It;s my guess that if you raised a child and you yourself completely accept homosexuality etc, that the child would 9 times out of 10 also accept it like it was no big deal.

    I would disagree, I'm 17 and was raised by the most liberal and LGBT-supportive parents one could hope to have, I was around LGBT people from a very young age, and it shames me to say that I was a homophobic little sh1t when I was younger, and it's only since I started secondary school that I had to really reevaluate what I was thinking. I would say it was probably some sort of internally repressed homophobia, in that I knew I fancied guys but that I didn't want to, and that is how it manifested itself.

    I probably realised I was a gay when I could put a word to it, so around 10 or so, but I remember having crushes on guys when I was younger than that.


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    #48
    Ten of Swords
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,424 CMod ✭✭✭✭Ten of Swords


    I think I always knew but I never felt 'different' if that makes sense, I never really resisted or felt bad about myself because of it. Accepting it was easy but telling others was my worry at the time. I preferred to keep it quiet and meet people secretly.

    When I was 16 my best friend confronted me about rumours he'd heard circulating about me. By that stage I knew the game was up and I fully expected him to freak out and reject me, I'd convinced myself that I didn't care what he thought or did and that I could handle the backlash so I told him they were all true, that's how I first came out I guess. He said he'd always known.

    I didn't get the oppertunity to tell my parents, I was outed to them, something I was bitterly unhappy about at the time but I'm over it now. Out is out as far as I'm concerned.

    Moderator: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender, Vegan & Vegetarian

    Category Moderator: Social & Fun



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    #49
    SillyMangoX
    Registered Users Posts: 4,002 ✭✭✭SillyMangoX


    I only really accepted it in the last couple of years, but I always knew there was something there. Even when I was very young, like pre-teen, I would always find myself looking at older or celebrity couples and saying ''I can see why he would fancy her, but what the hell does she seen in him?'' :pac: Also, friends pointed out to me the only guys who I ever had 'crushes' on or went out with were very feminine. I guess since I was in denial so long I just went for the closest compromise :pac:


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    #50
    SPM1959
    Closed Accounts Posts: 358 ✭✭SPM1959


    Always knew there was something but only 'came out' to myself at 27. All those wasted years.


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    #51
    playedalive
    Closed Accounts Posts: 750 ✭✭✭playedalive


    I think I first noticed guys when I was 13 or 14. I went to an all boys rugby school and I remember being curious when I saw the rugby players go out to training. Though, I kinda was fascinated by boobs too so I didn't really know. Then, personal problems, depression, anxiety, family problems took over and I put my sexuality to one side. Once life got a bit better, I came out when I was 21. Now I'm an open gay man. :)


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    #52
    Morag
    Registered Users Posts: 8,423 ✭✭✭Morag


    I was 9 when I started to have crushes on girls, I was rather surprised when at 15 I found I had a crush on a boy.


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    #53
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Had known since about 7 that I was attracted to me, though not knowing what it was. From then on I was confused and was attracted to the odd girl though dismissed it. I struggled to come to terms with it. Around 17/18 I accepted essentially to myself that I was gay. I never did think about it much, nor did I want to do anything about it.

    Then, at 19 I fell head over heels in love for a good year with a girl though with nothing coming of it. This made me think I was Bi. After that year we have been in different place and it does flare up when we meet. I am attracted to her sexually, but perhaps not as much some men or other women. I really love her as a person.

    But recently I have become really good friends with a fella who I do love too and desire... Making me doubt my sexuality again and feel like my other feelings were imagined, but they were very strong at the time...

    I think I am Bi, but much confusion... I feel as if one is not allowed to be Bi...


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    #54
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Have to say, I thought I had it figured out at 12/13 that I was 100% gay. Now, at 17 there's a lot more ambiguity about girls, although the attraction is entirely romantic - vaginas are still a definite no-no. I find it very hard to see myself in a long term gay relationship though - and I don't feel it's due to societal pressures in any way at all - I find a lot of gay men's personalities extremely at odds with my own, and urrrghhh, puberty.

    I still get inexplicably embarrassed around girls - and I can't explain it at all. I'm not out, so maybe it's just fear of being found out as it were.

    Anyways, hopefully I'll have it figured out soon.


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    #55
    qwertyabcd
    Registered Users Posts: 68 ✭✭qwertyabcd


    I was one of the girls in secondary school who flirted with a guy to get him to do my homework, I was brought up thinking LGBT people were 'wrong' and a good catholic would marry and have kids, this despite having a lot of gay friends. College opened my mind completely and I eventually came out a few months before turning 21. I cant say I had known for a long time. I was very conflicted between my faith and my sexuality for a long time.


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    #56
    Medusa22
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,400 ✭✭✭Medusa22


    Even when I was a little girl I realised that I liked boys but I also knew that I liked girls. In fact sometimes I thought about girls more than boys but I had crushes on both. I was always terrified of being the odd one out anyway because I was often treated like the oddball so I was very afraid of liking girls as I knew that would make me different. I promised myself that I'd ignore it and bury it deep down because I didn't want anyone to know.

    At 13 and 14 I had boyfriends and I was definitely attracted to them and had crushes on them. At fifteen I had my first girlfriend but we kept it secret, and I was definitely attracted to her too. At that stage I realised that I was bi, and some of my friends knew. Then I was in a relationship with a boy for nearly four years so some of my friends thought I'd grown out of my ''experimenting phase''.

    I knew I was bi but generally presented as straight because people presumed it anyway and some friends would not have accepted it, my parents didn't know either. However, when I was 22 I met the love of my life and she happened to be a girl, so I told my parents and they were very happy for me that I'd met someone who made me so happy.

    I told my friends and they were fine, although I do get teased a bit about being bi, the usual jokes about being greedy etc and some friends don't think that it is real or so. I don't care though, I had a civil partnership just over 2 weeks ago and I know that this woman is the right person for me.


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    #57
    OldNotWIse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    11 - used to like looking at photographs of Dr Quinn (Jane Seymour) in my granny's Hello magazines :D (but didnt know why)

    14 - saw my maths teacher in a summer dress and never looked back*

    23 - realised I had one foot in each camp :rolleyes: *(looked back)


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    #58
    PeteK*
    Registered Users Posts: 995 ✭✭✭PeteK*


    Could a poll be added?


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    #59
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 40,902 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    PeteK* wrote: »
    Could a poll be added?

    Possibly but what are the poll options?

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #60
    PeteK*
    Registered Users Posts: 995 ✭✭✭PeteK*


    Joeytheparrot wrote: »
    Possibly but what are the poll options?

    Probably under 10.
    10
    11
    12
    13
    14
    15
    16
    17
    18-20
    21-25
    26-30
    31+

    I'm not sure to be honest.. :o

    Just as long as it doesn't take people away from posting their mini autobiography :pac:


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    #61
    failinis
    Registered Users Posts: 1,691 ✭✭✭failinis


    Don't think there was a specific age, but when I was 10yrs or so I did notice I never really liked boys romantically (I was a massive tom boy and had many male friends but watching Disney films with princesses/princes I never seen why they fell for the princes and all those social norms)
    I do remember around 11 I was with my female neighbor and thinking "Yeah I would like to marry her" then thinking "but wait she is a girl" and a mini crisis that my wee brain could not cope with :pac:

    It was when I was around 12 I found out what gay actually was - my mother took me to the side before I started an all girls convent school and literally said "Now, friend of a friends have warned me that there are (took her a while to swallow her bile here :D)... lesbians at the school and you should stay away from them and apparently they look over toilet stalls to watch other girls pee, so make sure you check no one is watching!"
    (I find that so funny looking back now, picture saying that to someone in all deadly seriousness)
    My Irish teacher, woah, what a beauty, so that was when my 1st crush happened and I just accepted it was a woman.

    So yeah, as I said, I went to an all girls convent school - that basically solidified any question of my sexuality. :P That was around 13-14yrs old.
    I was never embarrassed or guilty (are they the right words?) of it, once I relalized I was gay I kinda shrugged and thought there are more important things to worry about - so I count myself very lucky I never had self loathing or any other worries like that.

    Apparently my family "already knew" - so I guess I was rather strange about those things since I was small and they just picked up on those things.


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