Care while pregnant versus postnatal care

How Strange · 02-03-2015 9:26am

I was public in the coombe on both of mine and both times the coombe was relatively quiet. On my first, they wouldn't allow my husband to be with me until I was 5cm and brought to the delivery room. That was quite distressing and the evening midwife on the ward was a total cold fish. The midwives during my labour were angels and I think it was because of that I had such a good experience. The care after was mixed. Some of the midwives went mental if you had the baby in the bed beside you and others actively encouraged it. I got quite a lot of breastfeeding support with one African midwife going above and beyond to help breastfeeding mothers. There were 8 beds in a 6 bed ward. Second time i was in labour when I arrived and my daughter was born 2hrs later. The senior midwife was a bit of a weapon but the junior one was lovely. I was put on a 4 bed ward with 2 other women but I insisted on going home within 24hours as I just wanted my own bed.

Both times I had a really modern delivery room so I had a shower straight after and was allowed stay there for hours having tea and toast.

Gee_G · 02-03-2015 9:37am

ShaShaBear wrote: »

I went public through Cavan and their MLU. Care was second to none - anyone I spoke to about my waiting times, treatment and general care were shocked. I never waited more than 5 minutes for an appointment, every midwife who took me for apps knew my name, had memorized my information from previous visits, and were very chatty and reassuring. They took me in without hesitation when I thought my waters were leaking and even offered me a cup of tea and a sit-down to calm my nerves while we were waiting on the test results. When I got my first sweep, the midwife gave me a pad from her own purse because I didn't have one on me! They did everything possible to get me to go into labour naturally before my induction date - even taking me into the MLU birthing suite on my last day to bounce on the birthing ball, go for a hot bath and have a good, brisk walk before a final sweep.

Unfortunately for me, I had to be induced. Waters were broken over on the consultant side (MLU couldn't deal with me then) by a rather rough and rude woman who would not let my partner be present until I refused to have my waters broke. After it was done they had me walk back to the ward and told my partner he would have to leave and would be called when my labour had progressed to 5mins between contractions. One of the MLU midwives saw me crying and intervened for me, explaining that this level of care was not what I was promised and that none of this was explained to me, and that drawing the curtains around my bed and letting my partner stay for my first ever labour was hardly going to kill anyone. Thankfully, they agreed. At 11am (3 hours after waters were broken), the entirety of my bowels gushed out of me, all over the bed, all over the floor on the way to the toilet, all over the floor of the bathroom and down the sides of the toilet. I hadn't had a single contraction up until this point, and had one every 2 minutes straight away. I was screaming in pain and fear, and a woman came in with a wheelchair to take me to the birthing room, where I was told to "Cop the *uck on, it's not that bad and your scaring the other women".

Got to the suite where I met the midwife and trainee midwife who would assist the birth. These two women need honorary halos, I swear! They got sponges and, with the help of my partner, cleaned all the wet poo off me, helped me change into another nightdress, and fetched tissue for my partner who was bawling crying at this stage. I was shown how to use the gas and air and they even fetched tea and toast for OH to have and me if I was fit (which I wasn't, as after the second contraction using gas and air, I pretty much lost myself). They spoke to me with utter kindness, telling me at 12.30pm "Alisha, lunch is ready from 1-2, do you like lamb? We'll get some for you!". Totally pointless, but had me focused on how much time had so quickly elapsed and got me thinking of responding and engaging with the room which was a great distraction. I started pushing at 12.45 where I was encouraged and supported to push as often as I felt like I could. I was gently helped move positions.

Then an absolute CRAB of a woman came in to see what was going on. She blindsided the other two, one of which was putting my hair in a bun so it wouldn't be all sweaty and messy for the pictures OH wanted to take :pac: . She told me I needed to "hurry up the pushing, or I'd be going for surgery". and tried to make me push in the most uncomfortable position imaginable. I told her exactly where to go (the only time I was anything other than polite) and she wasn't long leaving when the other two shot her a look. When I looked like I was going to tear, they had me stop pushing and let her come naturally, and they both applauded when I was done and gave me a hug!

Care after that was very, very mixed. I was allowed to stay on the labour ward and was given breakfast as I hadn't eaten since 5pm the previous day. When I was moved to the ward, a woman tried to take my baby off me MID-BREASTFEED because I needed a shower and was "staining the sheets". I learned after the first day and night to have my family smuggle in snacks as I literally starved trying to breastfeed every half hour with nothing but 2 small meals in me. There was a traveller in the bed across who had her entire family visit daily (we are talking between 10 and 14 people) and they usually stayed until 10 or 11pm (2 hours after my partner was forced to leave). A midwife confided that they were afraid to ask them to leave, which naturally terrified me. On the second day, a woman came to tell everyone on the ward that the water would be cut off henceforth until the following morning so that no-one could shower, brush their teeth or flush the toilets. We were not even offered bottled water to drink (I managed to get my MIL to take in a few litre bottles the previous day as I was not offered anything to drink or given any help walking to the water machine). I had no pain relief the two days and nights I stayed, and even though I was present for lunch on the third day, I was not allowed to have it because I was being let out an hour later.

Definitely hoping to stay with the MLU for my next baby!

Oh my god, that's sounds just awful!! You poor thing. It should be made as easy and comfortable as possible!
I had my little man in Cavan nearly 3 years ago and I genuinely could not fault them and I was not with the mlu. I would be fairly confident in saying that I know the woman you're talking about that came in during labour though saying hurry up! It really does just take a few bad eggs doesn't it!!

cruais · 02-03-2015 10:28am

Gosh, some of the experiences sound horrible!

I have booked to go private in Holles Street, hoping it all goes ok

ShaShaBear · 02-03-2015 10:56am

Hannibal Smith wrote: »

Jees Shashabear!

When I write it down it seems worse than I remember! Hoping to be pregnant again soon so pray I don't have to get induced and can avoid that ordeal again! I think the joy of being a new mother masked a lot of my concerns of treatment but I was informed by my sister, a student midwife, that there was a lot more available to me than was offered.

pwurple · 02-03-2015 11:39am

lily09 wrote: »

I gave birth two weeks ago in CUMH. My prenatal care was fantastic as I was public and high risk I was scanned at every appointment and monitored constantly. The birth was induced and the way I was treated was exemplery. The midwives were beyond amazing, the ladies from the induction suite even came up to see the baby after she was born.
Fortunatly my experience of post natal care was similar, as a first time clueless mother the midwives were constantly popping in checking on feeding and asking how I felt physically and emotionally. There are only 2 beds in the public ward.it was clear they were rushed off their feet but I never was made to feel stupid for asking what I know were pretty stupid questions..
Food was disgusting though!!

Both of my births were CUMH as well, and they were just fantastic for the births. Really helpful, listened to me, very caring.

The postnatal on the first baby was awful. Just awful. The facilities are great in CUMH, I was in a room with one other person, but the staff on floor 2 (4 years ago now) were just really unpleasant and downright rude to us. Pain meds had to be fought for, and my baby was really struggling with a blocked nose, so I asked for a bit of saline to clear it. I asked every time I saw a staff member, so maybe 12 or 13 times. I went for a shower when the baby went for a sleep, and came out to find a midwife hunching over the baby. I got such a fright! I asked her what was wrong, what was happening, was the baby ok, why was she there? She said. 'oh for gods sake it's the saline you asked for yesterday'. I mean come on... who goes poking at someone's baby when the baby is asleep, and the mother isn't even there! Food was awful, and I had picked up an infection and ended up being in for 7 days, found it very hard to move or clean myself. Now in fairness, the nursery nurse took the baby to the nursery for a few hours for me two of the nights because I found it very hard to pick her up with the infection. The lactation consultant Also saw me once a day, which was great, but anytime I asked for help with bfing outside of that I was told someone would be back in a minute, and they never showed up.

Baby two was completely different experience. Birth and prenatal all great again. postnatal I asked what floor I was going to, and the midwives in the labour ward said, "Oh don't worry, it's floor 3, the nice one." Floor three WAS much nicer. Lovely older women working on it. Were real dotes, couldn't do enough for us. Now, it was a two bed room again, and there was a woman in the bed beside me who I think was going into full blown PND and was alternating between bawling crying and roaring abuse, but that wasn't the hospitals fault.

ShaShaBear · 02-03-2015 12:04pm

Gee_G wrote: »

Oh my god, that's sounds just awful!! You poor thing. It should be made as easy and comfortable as possible!
I had my little man in Cavan nearly 3 years ago and I genuinely could not fault them and I was not with the mlu. I would be fairly confident in saying that I know the woman you're talking about that came in during labour though saying hurry up! It really does just take a few bad eggs doesn't it!!

There were a few people there I could not fault either - the midwives that dealt with my labour and the one who kept coming to me at night. She helped me with feeding even though she was not the lactation consultant (who was yet another aggressive boob man-handler!) and even let me feed asleep in the bed while she did her paperwork at the desk that was beside my bed so I could get some shut-eye and keep baby fed. Three of the MLU midwives came to visit me before I left and made sure I was comfy and not feeling too down or anything. They all made me promise I'd have another with the MLU because they couldn't believe I had such a short labour on just gas :pac:

The problem was that the nasty people were extra, extra nasty which marred the whole experience!

catchery · 02-03-2015 1:02pm

Im so sorry to hear all these stories from people who have had bad experiences and yes we should make complaints. But to be honest i didnt have the energy and wanted to completely forget and move on and enjoy my beautiful baby. It wasn't until my second pregnancy a year and a half later that i told my new midwife what had happened. My second experience was completely different even though i used the same system. I think it does have to do with pressure on staff but it also has to do with the nature of a person and some people should not work in a caring environment.
My husband forgot the famous file which he left at home , i went with the Domino midwifes, so the midwife was on her way to the hospital when we got there we dealt with one nurse there was nobody waiting we were the only people in the ward and she sent my husband home for the file. She treated me like an animal with no compassion, i could not speak with labour pain it was so strong, she was aggressive and rough with me and i kept trying to tell her i needed to go to the toilet while she was placing the straps on to monitor the baby heartbeat. She then screamed to not sit on bed before she put down the tissue or she would have to clean up my
s...t afterwards. She sat down after telling me i had to luy down to monitor the baby first. She sat behind a curtain and all i could see were her feet raised on a chair and hear her flicking pages in a magazine. I kept begging to use the toilet as my waters had broken and she ignored me , eventually she stood up and as she was walking out of the room she shouted go to the f...ing toilet then. I could not get the staps off as she had tied them at the back and i was alone for what felt like an hour, eventually two student doctors in scrubs passed by and came in to find me dragging the monitor to the toilet with me. They were laughing at me and untied the straps i locked myself in the toilet and would not open the door until my husband returned. I arrived at the hospital at 5.20 we live very close to the hospital so my husband was only gone maybe 15-20 mins, when he returned and i was then seen by my midwife i was 9 cent already. I had a very difficult labour and my aftercare was also horrific. I was refused painkillers during the night and told i was a Dominos patient so we arent good enough for you so wait till you see your midwife in the morning. The toilet in the ward was broken and i had to shuffle down a corridor to use another one. I asked to go home the next day against advice to stay by my midwife because of the amount of stitches i received. I was then put into a storage room with my baby and all my belongings thrown in a plastic bag. I was in mid feed- b/feeding when i was ushered out the ward. My bed was needed, my husband returned not knowing where i was and spent 20mins trying to locate me. I was soiled with blood and had to walk down a corridor with slippers full of blood, to change as nobody had come near me. I was offered trauma counselling by the dominos due to my difficult birth, which was a forceps delivery with an episiotomy. The aftercare with the dominos was fantastic for two weeks i had visits everyday. That is why i went back to them on my second.
I know there are people who would say well i wouldnt put up with that you were a fool. Unless you experience this i feel you cannot understand how utterly vulnerable you are and how delicate you feel after a difficult labour and during it.
All i thought of later was a young girl on her own having to deal with all of this type of behaviour and having nobody with her.
As i said i had a totally different experience on my second and the hospital staff were just lovely i was treated very very well .
Sorry that is so long i did not intend on sharing that at all at the beginning of the post. My poor husband still blames himself for forgetting the file and leaving me with that excuse of a human being.

Sligo1 · 02-03-2015 2:30pm

Catchery, I'm actually finding it hard to believe you were treated in such a way! This is gross misconduct and nobody should be treated like this! I know a lot of people will say they don't complain as they want to forget the experience or are too tired or just want to enjoy their baby etc etc. which is a fair point. But not when the treatment is as bad as you received!!! Did you ever complain?!

As I said, what you've described sounds horrific and this midwife needs to be disciplined! I don't mean to sound OTT but what you've described sounds like the equivalent of what went on with those poor people in the prime time nursing homes etc... But only this is a different setting. The midwife needs to be disciplined and you need an apology. She should not be allowed to treat other poor individuals in this way. I'm actually finding it hard to believe tbh.... Horrific.

bobskii · 02-03-2015 7:52pm

had only one bad experience in cavan and that was with a nurse from special care who told me (at 8 in the evening) that I could get dressed and that I wouldn't be allowed back in to see my baby till 8 the next morning.
then next morning I was up and dressed only to be told by another nurse to put on my pj's and relax,she went off got me tea and brought my baby back to me . so it really depends on the nature of the person I think.
otherwise can't fault cavan I had a gem of a midwife and all the nurses were lovely, apart from that crabbit witch!

Hannibal Smith · 02-03-2015 8:41pm

Catchery, fair play for being able to type all that. It sounds like a total nightmare. Even if you copy and paste this post it has got to be shared with the hospital.

My mother in law encouraged me to make a complaint after my second, but I never did. And my experience was first class compared to yours. You're so wrecked after. Its not as if you've had an operation and you get a chance to recuperate. Youve a baby at the end of the day with colic and feeds and nappies.

Some of the stories in here are reminding me of the childcare primetime and the elderly home abuses. Its people who are in the wrong job with no decency or respect for people in their care and they end up giving the good nurses and midwives a bad name. And again its people at their most vulnerable who are the targets.

catchery · 03-03-2015 10:47am

It was very difficult to write what i wrote and i had no intention of doing that when i started the post . I know ! it annoys me that i didnt follow it up straight away but i had other priorities my baby needed xrays done 4 weeks after the birth due to the forceps delivery. I had a very difficult recovery. I honestly did not have the strength to do it. It took 9 months to recover and get back to normal as they say. But i did complain when i returned on my second pregnancy but i didnt make a formal complaint, which i do regret. This was 7 years ago ! I am now blessed to be pregnant again and i am having an elective section this time around so another new experience.
My husband and myself are quiet enough people but after the first birth we changed and now have our guard up on all hospital visits. We are also recording everones name that we deal with. I was treated with care and understanding on all my pre-natal visits , so it was just completely shocking to be treated this way when i was at my most vulnerable.
When i did complain on my second i told the midwife that i believe that nurse caused me to go into shock and i blame her for my difficult birth. I focused on hypnobirthing for my second birth and i had a completely natural birth but due to the complications from the first birth and the size of my babies i was advised to get a section this time.
I understand how angry it makes every woman to read someone elses bad experience and how frustrating it is and if only they had done this or that. Believe me i have gone over it in my mind. I coped with it as best i could. I wanted happy memories of my first baby so i pushed it aside maybe that was wrong but it was what i had to do.
The only advice i can give to everyone is to record the names of everyone you deal with ask them their names.

Mamamaisy · 03-03-2015 11:06am

I had my first in a regional hospital 5 months ago. It is only recently that I can even talk about my experience in the post natal ward without breaking down.

The birth itself was fine and my midwife was amazing, so encouraging, kind and patient.

After the birth, not having slept in 36 hours, in a lot of pain having had an extremely bad 3rd degree tear, I was left alone (as alone as you can get on a ward) with a tiny baby as my husband had to leave.

This might sound silly to some people but I didn't even know how to change a nappy, I was completely clueless about babies and was terrified.

No one came near me to help me to breastfeed or help me in any way. I felt so scared and vulnerable and alone and got myself into a bit if a tizzy while my baby cried and cried. In floods of tears and carrying my screaming child I went to find a midwife and begged a group of them sitting behind the main desk to please help me. One of them stood up and told me curtly to get back to bed, they were busy at the moment, that someone would be down to me shortly. A very long hour later she came down to me and threw some bottles on my bed table (I was trying to breastfeed not that she even asked). She spoke to me in a very patronising way and made me feel like about a foot tall, tutting disapprovingly that there were other mothers trying to sleep and I should get it together and stop my baby from crying. I felt so stupid and inadequate.

The breastfeeding didn't last last day one as 1) I got very little support apart from a midwife slamming my boob and baby's head together on the few occasions I asked and 2) my baby cried a lot and I was afraid of keeping other mothers awake when she screamed with hunger while I struggled to feed (after my lecture the first night).

Don't get me wrong, I met some wonderful, lovely midwifes who were very kind although rushed off their feet but a couple of women who were clearly in the wrong job not having an ounce of empathy ruined the whole experience.

When I look back now I wonder why I didn't stand up for myself and but having gone through the biggest and most traumatic life event I was a shell of myself.

Yeah there were other issues such as dirty toilets, overflowing sanitary bins, terrible food, not getting my medication or painkillers when I should have, if at all. But to me these are all secondary to the fact that I was treated with a total lack of respect and dignity at a time when I was scared and vulnerable.

Also I think that all new mothers should be allowed to have a partner or someone stay with them for as long as they need after visiting hours to help take care of baby and allow them a couple of hours sleep.

Neyite · 03-03-2015 11:29am

Some of these stories are shocking. And we are predominately able-bodied, can think for ourselves, informed, can communicate, can complain, can kick up a stink.

I really shudder to think what patients who are bedridden, mute, and with complicated medical issues have to go through on the other wards in these hospitals.:(

Here are the links to the relevant HSE complaints webpage.

lazygal · 03-03-2015 11:44am

I'm not one bit surprised reading these stories. I met a few biddies in Holles St, including the one in charge of the antenatal classes. She was really dismissive of a young woman asking about birth plans. I knew on my first that I was facing into an almost certain c section but when I asked about this, she waved me away, telling me not to be negative and that I shouldn't be getting worried about having a section because the baby would move position. Something like 20% of women giving birth there have a section so its not on to avoid the subject completly.
I did find second time around me and my husband didn't put up with any nonsense. I'm sure the akward nurses thought I was a pain telling them about my allergies (which were in big block writing in the folder) but I didn't care what they thought of me, once they were treating me properly. There's also one consultant who I will never let near me again if I have more, and I'll be putting that in writing in the famous folder.

lazygal · 03-03-2015 11:47am

Neyite wrote: »

Some of these stories are shocking. And we are predominately able-bodied, can think for ourselves, informed, can communicate, can complain, can kick up a stink.

I really shudder to think what patients who are bedridden, mute, and with complicated medical issues have to go through on the other wards in these hospitals.:(

Here are the links to the relevant HSE complaints webpage.

It's no different to the Aras Attracta scandal in my eyes. Those staff weren't rushed off their feet and the place didn't look to be starved of resources. They just couldn't be arsed remembering they were supposed to be in a caring profession. Same with some of the nurses and midwives and one doctor I encountered. The attitude some of them had was nothing to do with being under pressure-I think they'd still be rude and dismissive and patronising if they were overrun with extra staff.

catchery · 03-03-2015 11:50am

Mamamaisy firstly well done for writing that out. I could not have done that after 5 months so well done. Im so sorry to hear what happened to you and i hope you are recovering well and your baby is thriving. Even with experience of minding babies it is completely different when attending to a newborn baby that is your own. You are exhausted and anxious after the labour and birth and it is very emotional. The responsibility of a new baby does not hit you until you are alone with your newborn no matter how prepared you are!
You were treated terribly by those nurses and all you were asking for was some help. Listening to my mother speak about how well they were treated years ago , kept in hospital for a week with proper rest and babies brought in for feeds and then taken back to baby ward so the mother could rest during the night. Proper meals and focus on recovery and excercise . It sounds like we have gone backwards really. My mother was shocked and angered at how mothers were being treated now.
You were vulnerable and they ignored you what is wrong with these people ? I dont understand it at all. Whats worse is they are women and probably mothers too. Im very sorry you had to go through that . Sounds like you were in the same ward i was in and those people were there when i was. I was in Waterford Regional.

Ms2011 · 03-03-2015 12:24pm

My aftercare in the Coombe in 2012 was not 100 percent & there were certainly some black spots & horrible staff but I am shocked reading some of the experiences posters here had.
I wouldn't be backwards about coming forwards when it comes to sticking up for myself in daily life but as soon as I was in hospital having my baby my mentality turned into that of a vulnerable child. It's easy to say you'd do XY or Z but in reality you're so tired & overwhelmed you allow yourself to be treated in a way you would never ordinarily & for those whose jobs it is to give you & you baby the best start together it's disgusting to hear how they've treated some of their patients :mad:

ShaShaBear · 03-03-2015 12:25pm

My partner complained for me as I left the hospital - it was not well received. The woman did look sympathetic and simply said "Some of these women have kids at home they barely get to see because Summer is our busiest time of the year with babies". She cracked a joke about sex saving heating costs in the Winter and walked away from us. Without any names, or time frames, I didn't think that a complaint to anyone in power would be of any addition to me.

BUT I am trying to get pregnant again, and I am a stickler for remembering faces, and these people will be called up on their behaviour if I have the misfortune of seeing them again. Funny, no-one told me of the myriad of rights I have while in the hospital. When my sister did her first placement in Cavan recently, things she told me actually made me upset. I didn't know I was entitled to extra small meals for breastfeeding (tea and toast and pieces of fruit), I didn't know that I could request a hospital pump if I had bottles with me to be able to sleep while my partner or visitors fed the baby at visiting times, I did not know a bath was available if I was unfit to stand in the shower, I didn't even know I was allowed to ask for extra bloody pillows (there were marks from the bars of the back of the bed from me trying to feed propped up with one pillow).
Next time, I'll be their worst nightmare :pac:

Mamamaisy · 03-03-2015 12:36pm

Thanks Catchery. It's like a release to write it down isn't it? Your own experience sounded absolutely horrendous and I am also sorry you went through that.

I was actually in the west of the country but that goes to show these issues are widespread.

I think that unfortunately, as in every walk of life, there will always be people in caring professions who patently should not be there.

My public health nurse actually tried to persuade me to complain shortly afterwards but I didn't because 1) like you I wanted to put it behind me and focus on my lovely new baby and 2) at the time I was still feeling anxious and lacking in confidence and was convinced a lot of what had happened was down to my own inadequacy as a mother!

Believe it or not it looks like I will be back there again by the end of this year and I'm sure it will be very different second time around but only because I know what to expect and think I will have the confidence to demand respect.

pwurple · 03-03-2015 12:41pm

ShaShaBear wrote: »

Next time, I'll be their worst nightmare :pac:

Good!

This is the thing, the midwives and nurses are in the hospital day in day out... everything is so obvious and mundane to them, and why are we bothering with silly questions like when is some food going to be arriving. But us, and especially as first time mothers, it's all so new. We've no idea how the system is supposed to work. You can read everything in the world about pregnancy and birth, bazillions of books and websites, and even on to caring for a newborn, but the information provided on postnatal recovery for women is not as easy to come by. I wasn't even told on first baby what way I had torn, what way to manage that injury, etc.

I was well prepared on second baby, and got them to draw me a diagram before any stitches started. And even though I had a 3rd degree tear I got myself out of there 24 hours after the birth. This is the advantage I see with a home birth... the postnatal recovery is much easier when you have your family around. Food and drink when you want. If I could do it any way at all, I'd be in the hospital for the available expertise in case of problems during the birth, and head straight home afterwards for a rest.

Having to figure out all the various systems in a hospital, shortly after having gone through labour... possibly either having had abdominal surgery or some other injury, running on no food and totally exhausted, and been given the entire responsibility of looking after a new baby on your own, while your only support is kicked out, is a big ask.

krankykitty · 03-03-2015 1:09pm

I'm not one bit surprised but I feel very bad for those of you who have been treated in such a disrespectful manner and who have experienced such bad care. It's not one bit acceptable, no matter how stretched the services are the least you should expect is some respect and compassion.

AIMS Ireland recently did a survey of women who had been through the system which would back up everything that's being said here.

AIMS Ireland research into satisfaction with maternity services 2014

Dil Wickremasinghe on the Global Village Show on Newstalk has taken an interest in the issue recently, from 15 mins for anyone interested.
Global Village 21st Feb Maternity Services

Ms2011 · 03-03-2015 1:36pm

Mamamaisy wrote: »

Believe it or not it looks like I will be back there again by the end of this year and I'm sure it will be very different second time around but only because I know what to expect and think I will have the confidence to demand respect.

I'm back in 5 weeks & definately feel more confident this time around.

Claire de Lune · 03-03-2015 2:05pm

Those stories are horrific, I am so sorry you were treated that way.

I just want to reassure the pregnant ladies reading this thread, I was a public patient in Holles st twice and I received excellent care both times, wether it was antenatal, during birth or postnatal.

In the postnatal ward the midwives were indeed very busy, but they were always great when I needed help with baby/breastfeeding, needed pain meds or just needed advice and reassurance! I couldn't fault them.

Sligo1 · 03-03-2015 2:15pm

These stories are indeed just awful. What is awful aswell is that these few midwives (or nurses in general hospital) really do give an awful name to those that love their job and are indeed excellent and caring health care professionals. I actually shudder to think of any of my loved ones (or indeed anybody at all) in their care.

However, I do think it is imperative to reassure the public that this really isn't the norm. Yes, there are a lot of horrific stories here. But it's important to know that for each of those there maybe 100 good ones. There should never be incidences like those described above. This is why it's so important to make formal complaints. (I know easier said than done especially when you are sick or have a new baby to look after) Generally speaking "I think" the majority of those in the profession are there to help us all in a knowledgeable and caring manner.

For example, I have been working in an acute health care setting for 14 years now. I have also been a patient in a maternity hospital twice and in an acute general hospital a few times. There are always a few wagons around. But i can honestly say I have never had the misfortune of coming across these "types" that are so uncaring and jaded in their profession that they would be better off out of it.

Neyite · 03-03-2015 2:29pm

I can move the thread to the Newborn forum as it does seem to be quite scary for some who are pregnant.

pwurple · 03-03-2015 2:47pm

Neyite wrote: »

I can move the thread to the Newborn forum as it does seem to be quite scary for some who are pregnant.

I do think it would be a handy one for pregnant women to read tbh, even if it's just to get as far as 'Pack some food!'.

angeldelight · 03-03-2015 2:55pm

Neyite wrote: »

I can move the thread to the Newborn forum as it does seem to be quite scary for some who are pregnant.

I'm due in a few weeks and am actually glad to have read the thread, while horrified at the treatment some of you have experienced. I am generally really bad at speaking up for myself and am reluctant to "make a fuss" but reading this thread has helped to prepare me should I be unfortunate enough to encounter any of these people. Also it prompted me to have a conversation with my husband about being my advocate and speaking up even if I feel like I can't which we wouldn't have had without this thread

Neyite · 03-03-2015 3:04pm

Cool, I'll leave it here so, I'd just wondered when we had a few saying it was putting them off.

I do agree it's a very helpful thread for mums-to-be - I read one similar when I was pregnant and it helped frame what my partner's role was going to be. For me he was support, yes, but also a second pair of ears when the medics are explaining something, and ready to speak on my behalf if needed.

I knew that some midwives would be a bit cool in their bedside manner, but never dreamed that women were told to fcuk off like some posters here. That's verbal abuse, pure and simple, and I guarantee if one of us had said it in our antenatal appointment to any of them, security would be removing us so fast our feet wouldnt touch the ground. In the hospital I was in, there were signs all around the place about that.

ShaShaBear · 03-03-2015 3:07pm

angeldelight wrote: »

I'm due in a few weeks and am actually glad to have read the thread, while horrified at the treatment some of you have experienced. I am generally really bad at speaking up for myself and am reluctant to "make a fuss" but reading this thread has helped to prepare me should I be unfortunate enough to encounter any of these people. Also it prompted me to have a conversation with my husband about being my advocate and speaking up even if I feel like I can't which we wouldn't have had without this thread

This a thousand times. I was so lucky to have Pierce there to speak up for me and ask for things I didn't think I was entitled to. The only other visitor I had that I felt I could really trust to do that was my mother, but because she lives an hour from the hospital and no-one in my family drives, she was only there once for an hour - my OH was there from the second visiting hours started until they forced him to leave.
Once you are sure you have someone who can get assertive for you, and pack A LOT of snacks, the rest is doable

PS - I really don't think expectant mothers will get how seriously I mean pack A LOT of snacks, so I'm saying it again. Crisps, bars, buns, sweets, anything that will ward off hunger. I missed breakfast my second morning in because I happened to be asleep when they came around at 8am and that is apparently code for "I don't want food". I had to wait until 2pm before I got any food to eat!!!!

Blingy · 03-03-2015 3:08pm

I am due at the end of May and have found reading this quite scary and upsetting however Sometimes it's good to know it's not all rosy after the birth. It has prompted me to read up a bit more on what I am entitled to as a patient and increase my knowledge. I am not the most assertive person but will try and be more vocal if necessary. Hopefully I will get the nicer midwives.
Thanks everyone for recounting your stories it can't have been easy.

Care while pregnant versus postnatal care

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