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Do you want kids and/or marriage?

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2

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    #32
    Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo
    Registered Users Posts: 3,009 ✭✭✭Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo


    Tbh I don't think I'm mature enough at the moment for kids and marriage.

    I have a 4 year old though that I spend most/all of my spare time with that I absolutely adore.

    Life is weird. :cool:


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    #33
    OneArt
    Registered Users Posts: 1,910 ✭✭✭OneArt


    No kids for now, maybe not later... Might change my mind though.

    Get married? Hell no.

    I don't want to share my room!


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    #34
    Holsten
    Registered Users Posts: 4,971 ✭✭✭Holsten


    I will never get married, pointless outdated practice.

    The older I get the more I dislike the idea of having kids.


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    #35
    Mr Benevolent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,456 ✭✭✭✭Mr Benevolent


    Kids? Definitely.

    As long as they're not ginger, that is.


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    #36
    Pumpkinseeds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,635 ✭✭✭Pumpkinseeds


    If you' asked me that question in my 20's I'd have said I didn't want either, but I got married when I was 30 after being with my partner for 7 years and we're really happy. As for children, I've known since I was a child that I didn't want kids and that will never change. I'm 40 now, so that ship has almost sailed anyway.

    I find it kind of odd, no offence people who have kids late in life, but when people have kids at my age or older it seems a bit odd. My husband's brother in law remarried and has kids younger than his grandchild, that seems to be getting fairly normal nowadays and a girl I knew in my teens who has a 20 year old son just had a baby earlier this year:eek:


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    #37
    Papillon!
    Registered Users Posts: 369 ✭✭Papillon!


    I like the idea of marriage and kids but not until im 29/30 i suppose...so another few years of freedom!:D


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    #38
    SEPT 23 1989
    Registered Users Posts: 43,025 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    Pumpkinseeds wrote: »
    If you' asked me that question in my 20's I'd have said I didn't want either, but I got married when I was 30 after being with my partner for 7 years and we're really happy. As for children, I've known since I was a child that I didn't want kids and that will never change. I'm 40 now, so that ship has almost sailed anyway.

    I find it kind of odd, no offence people who have kids late in life, but when people have kids at my age or older it seems a bit odd. My husband's brother in law remarried and has kids younger than his grandchild, that seems to be getting fairly normal nowadays and a girl I knew in my teens who has a 20 year old son just had a baby earlier this year:eek:

    its not fair on the children


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    #39
    salacious crumb
    Registered Users Posts: 6,029 ✭✭✭salacious crumb


    39, no kids, one failed marriage.
    Wanted kids when I was younger, thankfully it never happened, no longer want any.
    Don't think I'd be bothered getting married again either.


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    #40
    Ilyana 2.0
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,331 ✭✭✭Ilyana 2.0


    I used to want neither, but now I'm coming around to the idea of being married with kids more and more.

    I think if I'm going to have kids, being married to their father would be better for him in terms of his decision-making rights. It's only fair on him. And I have to give the mammy a day out, being the eldest and all ;)

    But I'm only 21 and himself is young too, so who knows?


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    #41
    Steamed Hams
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 19 ✭Steamed Hams


    I'm gonna break the status quo here, but I would like kids and a marriage, not just saying that to be hipsterish, I really do want them.


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    #42
    old hippy
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,441 ✭✭✭old hippy


    Got married when I hit 40. Just decided to give it a whirl. Myself and the present Mrs oh never planned to but glad we did in the end.

    As for kids? Nah.


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    #43
    blacklilly
    Registered Users Posts: 2,687 ✭✭✭blacklilly


    Definately would like both.

    I adore kids, in saying that I know I'd be nervous/aprehensive about having one but hopefully some day it'll happen.

    As for marriage, I'd love to think that I'll meet someone who I'll want to marry, it hasn't happened yet. Personally my preference would be to be married before I have children


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    #44
    An Riabhach
    Registered Users Posts: 1,672 ✭✭✭An Riabhach


    whirlpool wrote: »
    What age are you, and are you hoping for kids and/or marriage in the future?

    I'm unsure, myself. I've always wanted kids. But then I think about actually having the responsibility of kids, and I rethink things. :pac:

    Marriage, not sure.

    You?

    Edit: I meant to add a "not sure" option, and now I can't edit the poll. Sorry!

    No to both.

    I'm 35,never been in any kind of relationship and never want to be-so I could be described as asexual.
    I have plenty of nephews and neices and I love being an uncle-but being a father would require a lot more obviously.
    But then again,who knows what can happen years from now.


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    #45
    salacious crumb
    Registered Users Posts: 6,029 ✭✭✭salacious crumb


    Steamed Hams wrote: »
    I'm gonna break the status quo here, but I would like kids and a marriage, not just saying that to be hipsterish, I really do want them.


    How is that hipsterish? Will you make your kids grow beards and wear skinny jeans? :pac:


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    #46
    Arawn
    Registered Users Posts: 3,158 ✭✭✭Arawn


    25 no


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    #47
    average hero
    Registered Users Posts: 432 ✭✭average hero


    Breaking the pattern here.

    25, yes and yes. I'm socially conservative and traditional anyway but the way I see it, I want to have a few kids and raise them. I see that as what I want to do in life. I want to raise them, teach them etc. I would derive a lot of joy from that I think despite the HUGE amount of work that it would take.

    With regards to marriage, I would like to do that too. Being from a 'broken' household, I see a marriage as a strong backbone to a strong household and a more stable environment for the kids to thrive in. There are exceptions of course and it's just my opinion though.


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    #48
    Sunglasses Ron
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,180 ✭✭✭Sunglasses Ron


    How in the **** does one third of the vote not want kids? :confused: I couldn't name you one person I know that doesn't want them eventually. Indeed I would find any woman who didn't want any to be a bit cold in all truth.

    I don't want kids within the next 8 or so years mind, too much left to do, but I would hate to die alone in my old years.


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    #49
    I Heart Internet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,678 ✭✭✭I Heart Internet


    I am married with kids and can reccommend both.

    Thing is, there are drawbacks to getting married and having kids - they cost a lot and constrain your liberty.

    But the alternative - not getting married and not having kids....or, in fact, choosing both of these things is a way of life, in my estimation that is suitable for quite few people. It does suit some people, but only a few.


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    #50
    Pherekydes
    Registered Users Posts: 16,115 ✭✭✭✭Pherekydes


    Married, kids, separated, new relationship, more kids, divorced, second marriage. In that order. :D

    Kids are great. Just don't let them do competitive swimming.


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    #51
    blacklilly
    Registered Users Posts: 2,687 ✭✭✭blacklilly


    Sunglasses Ron wrote: »
    How in the **** does one third of the vote not want kids? :confused: I couldn't name you one person I know that doesn't want them eventually. Indeed I would find any woman who didn't want any to be a bit cold in all truth.

    I don't want kids within the next 8 or so years mind, too much left to do, but I would hate to die alone in my old years.

    I don't think it's fair to say a women is cold if she chooses not to have children tbh, some women are just not maternal, for whatever reason or none at all.
    Also if your main reason to wanting children is just so you won't die alone, that actually sounds quite selfish.
    Having children does not mean that you won't die alone anyway.


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    #52
    whirlpool
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,574 ✭✭✭whirlpool


    Sunglasses Ron wrote: »
    How in the **** does one third of the vote not want kids? :confused: I couldn't name you one person I know that doesn't want them eventually.

    You're probably surrounding yourself with like-minded people, and that's why you don't know anyone who doesn't feel like you.
    Sunglasses Ron wrote: »
    I couldn't name you one person I know that doesn't want them eventually. Indeed I would find any woman who didn't want any to be a bit cold.

    If you don't know anyone that doesn't want them eventually, then you don't know any woman who doesn't want them, and if you don't know her then you don't know if she's cold or not.


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    #53
    ibarelycare
    Registered Users Posts: 58,456 ✭✭✭✭ibarelycare


    Sunglasses Ron wrote: »
    How in the **** does one third of the vote not want kids? :confused: I couldn't name you one person I know that doesn't want them eventually. Indeed I would find any woman who didn't want any to be a bit cold in all truth.

    I don't want kids within the next 8 or so years mind, too much left to do, but I would hate to die alone in my old years.

    What? :confused: Why would you find a woman who doesn't want to have kids to be "cold" and not a man? A good few of my friends (of both gender) don't want kids.



    I'm 28 and female. In a 2.5 year relationship, my boyfriend is the same age. I definitely want to get married, but in no immediate rush. Neither of us want children.


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    #54
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    Sunglasses Ron wrote: »
    How in the **** does one third of the vote not want kids? :confused: I couldn't name you one person I know that doesn't want them eventually. Indeed I would find any woman who didn't want any to be a bit cold in all truth.

    I don't want kids within the next 8 or so years mind, too much left to do, but I would hate to die alone in my old years.

    You say women who don't want kids are cold, but you only want kids so you don't die alone? Ill take being cold over being a self centred selfish git.


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    #55
    Ciderswigger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 941 ✭✭✭Ciderswigger


    Sunglasses Ron wrote: »
    How in the **** does one third of the vote not want kids? :confused: Indeed I would find any woman who didn't want any to be a bit cold in all truth.

    That's a bit harsh, no? I don't want children. I made the decision years ago and stand by it. But I'm most definitely not cold. I adore my niece and nephew and love being around my friend's children but I just don't want my own.

    Also, we don't know that the votes were all women.

    Every time this subject comes up people always say 'Oh you're young, you'll change your mind when you meet the one.' Which might be the case for some women but I honestly don't think I'll change my mind and it would be a deal breaker for my long term relationship.

    But whether I change my mind or not, I do think it's unfair to act so unbelievably horrified that a woman may not want to become a mother.


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    #56
    _Redzer_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,056 ✭✭✭_Redzer_


    Sunglasses Ron wrote: »
    How in the **** does one third of the vote not want kids? :confused: I couldn't name you one person I know that doesn't want them eventually. Indeed I would find any woman who didn't want any to be a bit cold in all truth.

    I don't want kids within the next 8 or so years mind, too much left to do, but I would hate to die alone in my old years.

    Because this isn't the 50s and reproducing out of cultural obligation is becoming less and less of a norm.

    Kids are a big trade off for your freedom, time and resources. You have to weigh up if they're worth that. It's all a trade off. I personally don't want kids for that very reason. It isn't right for me, but that's just me. It works for some, not for others.

    There are 7 billion of us on the planet, we're not exactly left wanting when it comes to people, so why should we be pressured into thinking it's the done thing to raise a family?

    And as for dying alone, that's bollocks. I hope to have a partner, friends and family with me by my side. Thinking the world revolves around the idea that kids should mean everything to everyone is 20th century thinking. We're in the 21st century now btw.


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    #57
    readyletsgo
    Registered Users Posts: 3,276 ✭✭✭readyletsgo


    32.

    Kids are great an all but no thanks, have my niece and nephew to spoil with my single money.

    And marriage? Would ya go away outta that! Never.


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    #58
    cupcake83
    Registered Users Posts: 106 ✭✭cupcake83


    I was married really young at 19 for 11 years and am divorcing I'm 30. I don't know if I'll do it again honestly . I'm not against it but the next go round I'll be a little more selective ! :)


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    #59
    pharmaton
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,192 ✭✭✭pharmaton


    Have one adult spawn and have been considering taking on as a foster parent. Never intended on being a parent originally but she turned out just fine which kind of give me the motivation to think I could offer another child the same opportunities. I was never particularly maternal in the traditional sense but I know now that I am capable of providing much needed security, stability and encouragement in all the right doses. Maybe it could be of benefit to somebody else. (single)


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    #60
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 40,880 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    I'd definitely love both

    Although kids may be extremely difficult given the laws in this country

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #61
    Holsten
    Registered Users Posts: 4,971 ✭✭✭Holsten


    Sunglasses Ron wrote: »
    How in the **** does one third of the vote not want kids? :confused: I couldn't name you one person I know that doesn't want them eventually. Indeed I would find any woman who didn't want any to be a bit cold in all truth.

    I don't want kids within the next 8 or so years mind, too much left to do, but I would hate to die alone in my old years.

    Silly post.

    I know loads of people who do not want children, none of them are "cold".


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