New to cats, angry and unsure

PinkTulips · 16-07-2009 7:03pm

ISDW wrote: »

I found this hard to believe, so checked out the DSPCA website and I'm absolutely stunned. For anybody wanting to adopt a dog, they have to have a homecheck. However, if they want a cat, just fill in a form, have a chat and away you go. I knew that cats were treated worse than dogs in this country, but I didn't realise it extended to rescue organisations as well.

i once walked into the DSPCA, picked a kitten, signed a piece of paper, handed over 50euros and walked out with the kitten.... i was 19 and didn't even have a carrier, they gave me a temporary one to get home with!

now, we loved that cat and he was the most pampered, spoiled, well loved cat you ever came across (i'm not exageratting, i took him traveling on trains with me, he slept in our bed, was cuddled 24/7) but there is no way in hell they should have let me walk out the door with him based on the information they had :eek:

The Sweeper · 16-07-2009 11:42pm

RossFixxxed wrote: »

MAJD: Thanks for the post. However, I don't think I can. The cat is very important to my gf, and I don't know if I would have to heart to move her out, she's a lovely little thing to be fair.

Ah I don't know. It's a totally self perpetuating situation. I know I'll lie down on it and be fine for a while again, and around in circles.

Ross, when you post about that cat, I get waves of dislike, irritation, resentment and unhappiness from your posts. That isn't what pet ownership is about.

I'm cat-crazy, and all you'll ever hear is positive babble about my cats. I'm boring about them to the point of dullness. And my god, if they do something new... People with children patronise me because of how I talk about my cats. They make me laugh, usually quite heartily, every day. The closest I get to irritation is when they have a clingy day and want to sit on me - because if you don't feel like being sat on, five is a lot of cats to try dodging.

The best thing I've found for my allergies (because oral antihistamines do precisely: absolutely sod all) is a nasal spray - it's available over the counter, and the active ingredient is Azelastine Hydrochloride. Dries my tap-like nose inside 15 minutes - and that means I don't get the knock-on effects of incessant sneezing, itching eyes that are streaming, and secondary asthma. We're a very happy cat household, but if I wasn't cat-mad, I might find myself very unhappy and resentful about HAVING to use that nasal spray.

I'm struck by the things you complain about - if the cat is shitting all over the house, then there's a serious problem with its litter training, but also with its behaviour. I know two different cats that indulge in inappropriate elimination and I'm convinced in one case it's as an expression of dominance and in the other an expression of unhappiness. Sort of like two fingers to their owner - and as an observer I think it gets worse if there is stress in the household.

If the cat is vomiting a lot, then there is a problem. She needs to be wormed, to ensure it's not worms, then possibly checked over by a vet to ensure there is no underlying cause. Then she needs a change in diet. If you say she sheds hair everywhere, she could be a medium-haired cat, and that means she needs brushing - and self grooming could be contributing to her vomiting.

There are a lot of things you need to do to improve your life with the cat - but given the way you're posting, honestly, there's no point. You will not embrace the work involved in retraining, nurturing, caring for and feeding the cat if you're this upset with it. And if you do a half-assed job, you might as well do no job at all.

Let's put it this way - litter tray cleaning is nobody's favourite job, but there are two types of cat owners. The type that go "Oh no, I better clean that litter, my poor cat using such a dirty litter tray, I'll fix that right now" and the type that go "I can't believe I have to clean this shit up yet again."

You need to talk to your girlfriend. Unless she's blind as a bat, she has to see the difficulty that owning this cat is putting you through. And rehoming doesn't necessarily mean something bad. Do either of you have parents, siblings, aunts or uncles who would take the cat? Do you have friends who might take it? Could you work out something with someone that means your girlfriend can still see it?

MsFifers · 17-07-2009 11:02am

I don't want this to sound mean, but I feel sorry for your cat Ross. The poor thing doesn't sound at all happy in your house.

It sounds to me like you are brooding over what should be a minor issue. Your house shouldn't be covered in cat hair, vomit and whatever else you were complaining about. If it is, then it sounds like you guys aren't stepping up to your responsibilities in pet ownership. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but you got tons of advice and sympathy here previously, and if you have been doing everything that was recommended and still have a problem, then you aren't being fair to the cat to keep it in such an unhappy circumstance.

Sorry if I sound a bit critical - I'm in a bit of a cranky mood today

but I don't know what you expect from anyone here?

Have you been doing what was suggested? Or are you the kind of person who, when faced with a problem, lets themselves get depressed and cranky about it, instead of doing something to solve it?

Ha ha! See? Told you I was cranky!

Adventure Pout · 17-07-2009 12:43pm

I agree with lots of people here.. It's been going on for long time now, and the best thing for you is to Rehome that poor cat.
She is unhappy and you are unhappy. She can feel that and act accordingly.
Just talk to your gf again and please find another home for the poor kitty.
There were lots of advices given to you, and if you had followed them, your situation would have improved significantly.
There are lots of things you guys must do it very wrong because once you change a few things, the situation can improve very quickly.
There is no point to be miserable and make the poor cat miserable.
Maybe somebody in here would be willing to take your cat...
I would have loved too, but my kitty prefer to be an only cat, and I live only in a small apartment..
Talk to your girlfriend again, and please find a home to that poor cat...

Sigma Force · 17-07-2009 5:07pm

Why can't you just talk to your gf about it, nobody can help you with this situation because you don't want the cat rehomed so you really need to talk to her and come to a descion. Nothing wrong with rehoming the cat just make sure the cat goes to a good genuine home, and home check the home as well. Or perhaps she has a relative that might take the cat on.

You need to talk to her.

Chitterchatter · 17-07-2009 5:19pm

Clearly you didn't research what adopting a cat would involve. May that be a lesson to others considering adopting an animal!

I can skimmed through the thread and it seems to be giving conflicting messages.... where do you stand now with the cat - do you want to keep it or not?

If not, then rehome her and let her have a chance of happiness. It's probably advisable to bring her back to DSPCA if that is where you got her from originally.

If you want her then you need to be committed to her longterm care.... she may live for another 15 years. If you cannot commit to having her forever then she is best rehomed now as when she is even older it will harder to find her a home and very unfair on her.

As for your relationship with your gf.... if you can't discuss these issues then maybe you need to review the relationship. However you need to talk to her about this. It won't just go away. Speak with her, and between ye, make a decision about the cat.

Sigma Force · 17-07-2009 10:02pm

Members from the DSPCA could be reading this also or people involved usually the rule with adopting an animal from rescue is to return it to the same one. I would be pretty angry if a critter I adopted out was shipped off somewhere else without me being informed first and been kept posted.

You can never 100% gurantee a home no matter how well checked though.
No one gets it right 100% of the time.

You wouldn't be the first person to return an animal to a rescue and most rescues much prefer if you do, sometimes homes don't work out or there's a change in circumstances, it's just part of rescue so there shouldn't be a problem returning the cat. You might have to wait a while until they have a space and not speaking for the DSPCA just saying that in general that's the way it works in rescue.

comongethappy · 18-07-2009 2:06pm

OP, I agree with others in regards to rehoming the cat. It doesn't sound like anyone is happy in the household for the moment. Have you or your girlfriend followed the advice given by the posters here? If you have and you've not had any joy, then you've tried your best, and you can't beat yourselves up over it. However, if you and your OH haven't made the effort, then you should give it back as there's no point in keeping it if you're not going to put in 100% to make it workable.

As MADJ said, cat's should be a joy - I have 3 of my own, and while they can do things to annoy you, you can still laugh at it at the same time. They should be a joy, not a source of constant frustration. Also, the throwing up is not normal. It could be an illness / allergy / or hairball. To cut down on hair on the cat and in the home, try a furminator or furminator type product (there's a cheap one here http://www.christiesdirect.com/product.php?sp_p=853518 - I have it and it works brilliantly). If it's not hairballs, then a trip to the vet is in order.

Also, your cat should still not be sh*ting all over. There seems to be a problem there, weather it is behavioural or with the litter it's hard to say.

Your message seems to be conflicting - do you want to keep her or not? If not, then talk to your gf and work on rehoming. If you do want to keep her, post up here the changes you have made and maybe posters here can try to help further.

New to cats, angry and unsure

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