New to cats, angry and unsure

Hi Ross

Some things to make your life easier.

Get your doctor to prescribe an antihistamine, or get advice on an over the counter antihistamine you can take to countermand your cat allergies. Ask about a cortisone cream to soothe irritation. Thoroughly clean the house, removing cat dander and hair, so you can start over. Your cat allergies WILL WEAR OFF after a time.

Trust me. I have asthma and hayfever, and I am allergic to cats. I own four inside-only cats and I foster cats in a specific foster room in my house for my local no-kill shelter, so I often have around nine cats and kittens in my house. I'm not dying.

Clean all fabric areas where the cat sits/sleeps with a damp cloth - it takes up cat hair nicely and cleans off the dander. Then put a cat-specific blanket on, for instance, the end of the couch she sleeps on. Buy two, so while one is in the wash the other is protecting the furniture.

Clean kitty with a wet facecloth at least once a week. She'll hate it, but hell. Get a clean facecloth and soak it in luke warm water. Wring it a bit, but keep it quite wet. Thoroughly rub kitty with it - with and against the grain of her fur - once a week. You'll remove a lot of cat dander and allergens with this process.

Litter trays - buy a deep sided covered tray with no door but with a charcoal filter to fight smells. Clean crap out of it whenever crap gets into it. Use a low-odour clumping litter and clean the whole litter out, assuming you're poo picking daily, at LEAST once a week. You need to lay the litter at least 5cms deep to ensure that any urine is absorbed and clumped before puddling on the bottom of the tray - but 5cms is glorious digging-to-China fun for kitty, so a covered tray prevents litter going everywhere when she digs.

Buy a piece of lino or a food mat and place it under the food trays. Also, look into buying a large, shallow, cheap ceramic bowl at the supermarket and use that as your catfood dish. If the food is shallower she may not toss it around as much. Feed smaller amounts more often if she's leaving a lot of catfood uneaten to smell the place out. That and yes, you DO need to throw the tins out as soon as you open them.

Also look at changing to a more expensive brand of catfood. Wet whiskas loaf is cheap but in my opinion it makes your cat smell. You want a wet brand with 10-12% protein, at least, not 7-8%. Occasionally try her with a little raw meat. (If you want to feed your cat a raw diet, you need extensive supplements to ensure they get a balanced meal). A raw chicken neck is good to clean kitty's teeth while she noshes on it. However cats need to have the taste for raw meat. Don't overfeed her either - try her with a tablespoon of raw chicken mince, for instance.



Above all, if you need to give the cat back, give her back. Make a donation to the DSPCA while you're doing it, and chalk this down to experience, but misery isn't supposed to be the outcome of pet ownership.

Hi OP,

This is going to be a long post, but hopefully some of my experiences may be able to help you!

1) Keeping you up at night

We had the same problem with our male cat. We tried to tire him out with tonnes of play right before bed, ignoring him, waking up and putting him back downstairs when he was bold, letting him sleep with us, turning on a vaccum everytime he started up... nothing worked. Oh, and it wasn't just scratches and screams, he would jump on the door handle all night. What I have done is crate trained my cats at bedtime. See http://www.zooplus.co.uk/shop/dogs/dog_cages_carriers/carriers (it's cheaper than zooplus.ie, and btw, I'll be refering you to them in a lot of my notes!). If you get the large size, it will be perfect. You can buy a large tupperware dish to use as a litterbox inside, and just put a small bowl of water down for her for the night.
Also, I recommend using vet bedding to line the crate, as any water / urine spilt will pass thru to the bottom leaving the top dry. Also, you can machine wash on high. If you use vinegar in the fabric conditioner part it will take away any smells. You can order vet bedding or even a crate from http://www.ccpdogs.ie/index.php?cPath=39_82&osCsid=09864c19c09cf9d5468d5bace4c1e24a . To associate the crate as a positive thing, give her a treat when you put her to bed. Mine actually will tell me when they want to be put in now!

2 - Smells / possibly peeing outside the box

The quality of your cat food really does make a huge impact on the smell of your cat's feces, and even your cat itself. I have one cat that has reoccuring urinary tract infections, and another that seem to be sensitive to gluten. My mate runs a dog grooming business, and she's finding an increasing number of customers who have pets with allergies. The most common are wheat, soy, and sometimes even rice or corn or certain meats. It could be that your cat has a problem such as this and the SPCA weren't able to fully identify it. The best food I have every tried and has sorted all my cats problems is Orijen http://www.zooplus.co.uk/shop/cats/dry_cat_food/orijen/45156. This food contains no grains (no wheat or rice), and it 75% meat (all human grade), 25% veg / fruit. I would say that your smell problems would be sorted with this, and it shouldn't adversely affect her tummy (but, remember - anytime you switch food it can take 2 weeks before your cat's stomach adjusts. She can suffer diahorrea in this transition. Mine didn't, but every cat is different). If you're worried though, you can start by adding a bit of boiling water to make it mushy, and let it cool before giving it to her. Then try to get it less and less mushy until solid if possible, as the hard food helps clean their teeth.
If you want to treat her with wet food, I would also recommend applaws or Almo nature (also available from zooplus.co.uk) as these are gluten free, or the husse Tuna/ Sardines/ Seafood Platter (it's just whole seafood pieces in jelly, but none of the others as they contain wheat) http://www.husse.ie/view-product-type.php?type=Tins%20for%20Cats&Sect=Products . It is expensive, but it's worth it in the end. Also, as the Orijen isn't bulked out with indigestible fibers, you don't need to feed as much. For a 4kg cat, at 8 months you feed 95g, at 10 months you feed 80g, and from a year you feed 55g. And it's less if you also feed a wet food. I also found that this food helped with my cat's UTI's - he hasn't had one since I switched. Perhaps it could help yours with it's peeing issue?

3-Smells again

Get a covered litter box with a filter. I personally would take the swinging door off if it has one, as she may not realise how to use it, but it's your call. There's a good one here http://www.zooplus.co.uk/shop/cats/cat_litter_litter_boxes/hooded_litter_box/13624 , but your local pet shop should have one too.
Also, the quality of the litter you use is important. The cheap supermarket stuff I found I had to totally disinfect every 3-4 days. Try to buy a clumping litter. My favorite is Cat's Best Oko Plus http://www.zooplus.co.uk/shop/cats/cat_litter/ecological_litter/14001 . I find with 3 cats, I go thru about 3 10 litre bags in 3 / 4 weeks. It does track a lot though, so you will need to vaccum. However, mine like to wash their paws in the water bowl, and it find that the clay ones would get stuck into the wooden flooring and take ages to get out. The plant ones are much easier to mop and clean. However, if you do want to go for clay, the best ones I've tried are Golden Grey Master http://www.zooplus.co.uk/shop/cats/cat_litter/silicate_litter/29960 , which is brilliant at aborsbing smells, or Husse's http://www.husse.ie/view-product-type.php?type=Cat%20Litter&Sect=Products .

4 - Smells yet again / allergies

I wash my cats. They don't like it, but they know I'm boss. I don't have the problem of mine clawing at me though. If you do, you can get a cat wash bag http://www.ccpdogs.ie/index.php?cPath=34&osCsid=f07bad784bdde02ee461795983265c8a . This is also helpful for trimming the claws of an anxious cat. Just make sure that you use a shampoo that is safe for cats. Your pet shop should have one. Towel dry after washing. You can start off at once a week, and then slowly decrease it to every other week, and maybe every third week, depending on how your allergies get on. Also, you can buy colognes to improve their smells if it boths you. I like products personally http://www.tropiclean.co.uk/

I hope that you may find some of this information useful. In fairness I think some of the poster's have been a little harsh on you, I can understand how an ever worsening skin problem can make you feel, and you didn't know it would be an issue before you got the cat. Also, I wouldn't use febrezze as I found that it would make me break out quite badly. I use M&S natural Lavender Carpet and Fabric Refreshner spray. Explain all of these points to your other half. She should be proactive in doing the washes and helping vaccum, as after all, she is the one who wanted it. My OH loves our babies, but at the same time they are my cats so I have all the grooming and most other responsibilites. Seriously though, they are worth all the hassle, as they are so rewarding to have as part of the family

There is a solution.

Rehome the cat.

Honestly. Since you posted, my full-time inside-only house cat quotient has gone up to five cats. I don't have half the problems you have, and I have five times the cats. I did my six weeks of acupuncture, finishing up about three weeks ago, and it helps my allergies, as does a nasal spray and an inhaler if and when required (and that's not daily).

My cats don't shit everywhere. There is minimal hair in the house, because I have wooden floors and I sweep every day, vaccuum twice a week and wash the floors once a week. I also have a microfibre couch, which repels the cat hair. I feed my cats a mainly raw diet, so they don't smell. I have five covered, charcoal filter litter trays (one per cat), that I keep in one spare bedroom that is the 'cat room' - their litter, their food, their water and their beds are all in that room, and they're closed into it with a feed last thing at night, and allowed out first thing in the morning, so they don't bother me at night. The other bonus of a mostly raw diet is less cat shit.

It sounds to me like you funnell a lot of resentment into the cat, and it's become a focus for the rest of your personal issues. You wind yourself up about it, and it's a self-perpetuating problem, because the animal will pick up on your dislike and your stress and its behaviour will be worse and worse.

Rehome it.

Simple questions : have you actually spoken to your g/f about all this ? Is she concerned about your cat related health issues ? Are antihistamines really unefficient to your allergy ?
The issue might not be so much about the cat ...
Sorry for being so blunt - I don't want to hurt anyone but you are obviously not happy and you need to grab the "bull by the horn" and do something about this situation.
ValerieR

RossFixxxed wrote: »

MAJD: Thanks for the post. However, I don't think I can. The cat is very important to my gf, and I don't know if I would have to heart to move her out, she's a lovely little thing to be fair.

Ah I don't know. It's a totally self perpetuating situation. I know I'll lie down on it and be fine for a while again, and around in circles.

Ross, when you post about that cat, I get waves of dislike, irritation, resentment and unhappiness from your posts. That isn't what pet ownership is about.

I'm cat-crazy, and all you'll ever hear is positive babble about my cats. I'm boring about them to the point of dullness. And my god, if they do something new... People with children patronise me because of how I talk about my cats. They make me laugh, usually quite heartily, every day. The closest I get to irritation is when they have a clingy day and want to sit on me - because if you don't feel like being sat on, five is a lot of cats to try dodging.

The best thing I've found for my allergies (because oral antihistamines do precisely: absolutely sod all) is a nasal spray - it's available over the counter, and the active ingredient is Azelastine Hydrochloride. Dries my tap-like nose inside 15 minutes - and that means I don't get the knock-on effects of incessant sneezing, itching eyes that are streaming, and secondary asthma. We're a very happy cat household, but if I wasn't cat-mad, I might find myself very unhappy and resentful about HAVING to use that nasal spray.

I'm struck by the things you complain about - if the cat is shitting all over the house, then there's a serious problem with its litter training, but also with its behaviour. I know two different cats that indulge in inappropriate elimination and I'm convinced in one case it's as an expression of dominance and in the other an expression of unhappiness. Sort of like two fingers to their owner - and as an observer I think it gets worse if there is stress in the household.

If the cat is vomiting a lot, then there is a problem. She needs to be wormed, to ensure it's not worms, then possibly checked over by a vet to ensure there is no underlying cause. Then she needs a change in diet. If you say she sheds hair everywhere, she could be a medium-haired cat, and that means she needs brushing - and self grooming could be contributing to her vomiting.

There are a lot of things you need to do to improve your life with the cat - but given the way you're posting, honestly, there's no point. You will not embrace the work involved in retraining, nurturing, caring for and feeding the cat if you're this upset with it. And if you do a half-assed job, you might as well do no job at all.

Let's put it this way - litter tray cleaning is nobody's favourite job, but there are two types of cat owners. The type that go "Oh no, I better clean that litter, my poor cat using such a dirty litter tray, I'll fix that right now" and the type that go "I can't believe I have to clean this shit up yet again."

You need to talk to your girlfriend. Unless she's blind as a bat, she has to see the difficulty that owning this cat is putting you through. And rehoming doesn't necessarily mean something bad. Do either of you have parents, siblings, aunts or uncles who would take the cat? Do you have friends who might take it? Could you work out something with someone that means your girlfriend can still see it?

OP, I agree with others in regards to rehoming the cat. It doesn't sound like anyone is happy in the household for the moment. Have you or your girlfriend followed the advice given by the posters here? If you have and you've not had any joy, then you've tried your best, and you can't beat yourselves up over it. However, if you and your OH haven't made the effort, then you should give it back as there's no point in keeping it if you're not going to put in 100% to make it workable.

As MADJ said, cat's should be a joy - I have 3 of my own, and while they can do things to annoy you, you can still laugh at it at the same time. They should be a joy, not a source of constant frustration. Also, the throwing up is not normal. It could be an illness / allergy / or hairball. To cut down on hair on the cat and in the home, try a furminator or furminator type product (there's a cheap one here http://www.christiesdirect.com/product.php?sp_p=853518 - I have it and it works brilliantly). If it's not hairballs, then a trip to the vet is in order.

Also, your cat should still not be sh*ting all over. There seems to be a problem there, weather it is behavioural or with the litter it's hard to say.

Your message seems to be conflicting - do you want to keep her or not? If not, then talk to your gf and work on rehoming. If you do want to keep her, post up here the changes you have made and maybe posters here can try to help further.