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Do You Like Being Single?

2

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 548 ✭✭✭Seomra Mushie


    My BF just told me to try giving him some space every one in a while. We are in an LDR at the moment, only seeing each other at weekends, so I MAY have gone a teensy bit overboard on the texting front. :o So right now, I am ambivalent towards relationships. :pac:


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 8,867 ✭✭✭eternal


    I need some F.U.N, sick of this crap. Where are all the hunks.


  • Registered Users Posts: 22 KateMiddleton


    guitarzero wrote: »
    Do we not exhibit any characteristics that make you feel a sense of unfulfilled romance, intimacy, sex, etc? What about sex drive?

    :)

    That's certainly something i miss about being single! I think you are right about how we are separated through school we don't really get the notion of being friends.

    I'm fairly happily single although I've just met someone recently that might develop into something. However I had a toxic 10 year relationship so i'm just finding my feet now. Thankfully it was never very intense and i kept all my own friends and used ot socialise alot on my own so it hasn't been that much of a transition.


  • Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭MiseryCat


    Being single is ok but it can be lonely in the way,It would be great to meet a kinda nice looking guy to snuggle with,have fun ,great conversation do lots of stuff together AaHhwww! Romance.

    or plan B

    Drive around in a big white van ,Watch a good looking guy you like, Get out of the van to bash him on the head to knock him out THEN tie him up and torture him until he loves you . LOL LOL LOL ha! ha!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,551 ✭✭✭panda100


    On the whole I do like being single as I like doing my own thing most of the time and am very happy in my own company. I have been single for quite a while now though and am definatly missing the physical perks of a relationship.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,802 ✭✭✭beks101


    Lia_lia wrote: »
    Yep, love being single. Not a relationship person at all. Much prefer being alone.

    I never really get too close to people (anymore) because I have a bit of a fear of relationships. They turn me mad! Some people are so obsessed with finding the perfect partner and don't think they can be happy single. I personally find that outlook bizarre. But that's just me.

    Yeah I'm sort of on the same page.

    Not that I don't get close to people, but to date it's been pretty exclusively family and friends that have fulfilled that role, which works because I pretty much know they'll be there unconditionally.

    To date in my life I've not been a relationship person and don't feel this pressing need to share my life with someone, though I'm aware it could change at any moment. I have great friendships, an amazing family, a cool job and I meet guys and get laid, works for me :)

    Some day, maybe someone will inspire that leap of commitment in me, but this idea that I'm half the person I could be or that there's some big void in my life...perplexing.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,344 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    At the moment I am happy enough to be single. I am not ready to settle down just yet but I would like to sometime in the future. Say in my 30's. I love to have children but whether I have them in or outside of marriage doesn't matter to me any more. It used to matter that I wait till marriage but now I find I couldn't be bothered whether I get married or not or have kids in or out of marriage. I think its nearly better to have kids at a certain age rather than waiting too long. Kids can bring more joy in life than a marriage but I wouldn't say no to marriage either if it it happens it happens if not what does it matter.

    I enjoy my space, independence and having a life of my own as well as spending time with friends and family. I am currently focusing on building up my career and further my education so love can wait. I like being on my own too not having to depend on others all the time and and the other way around too but I do like company though. It takes me time to get to know people and trust them fully so getting into a relationship at all would take some time for me. I like to be close to someone but don't like to be so close that I feel smothered!

    But if I happen to meet someone or 'the one' in the meantime I wouldn't say no to settling down even if it meant it might change my life plans a bit...so what. Life is about taking risks...life would be boring otherwise!

    I haven't met anyone I am willing to settle down with yet or even have met the right guy though. So fussy so like to have the odd bit of fun of meeting new and different people.

    It freaks me out at the number of people I know, friends and former classmates of mine either having kids, married or engaged though. It scares me a bit that I haven't anyone to share that kind of life yet but I just haven't met the right person to fit in with my life I suppose.

    One major thing is that my friends and family approve of the person I love and loves me back too. Not just one sided. I'd have to be very much in love and fond of and fancy that person to the extent of committing to them.

    So for the moment yes I am happy to be single but don't think I be happy to be single forever put it that way!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,713 ✭✭✭✭Novella


    guitarzero wrote: »
    Do we not exhibit any characteristics that make you feel a sense of unfulfilled romance, intimacy, sex, etc? What about sex drive?

    I certainly don't feel like that. It's probably just me but I am way more likely to feel that sense of unfulfilled romance and intimacy whilst in a relationship because that's when I'd expect it. I mean, in my last relationship, I definitely felt like that. Sometimes it was like living in a house with a stranger who just happened to sleep in my bed at night.

    I know my experience there is completely on the bad end of the spectrum but overall, for me, relationships have often emphasised loneliness.

    As for sex? Again, I could be alone here, but I think sex is something that the more I get, the more I want so out of a relationship and getting it less, I guess I just want it less. Not that I don't have a sex drive but I don't miss sex as much as I thought I would. I'd like to have it, sure, but only with someone I like.

    Like when I see a woman that I find attractive in some way I'm immediately reminded of being single and how it sucks. For a lot of women they seem fairly immune to this here.

    Immune to what? Feeling that being single sucks? I never feel like that 'cause I don't think it does suck.
    I know women are now money earners so that aspect of dependency is gone, so was it mostly down to the wallet in the end?

    :)

    :eek: I can honestly say that for me money never was and is not a factor whatsoever.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    I've been single all my life more or less. Never bothered me but the last year or so I've been thinking it would be great to be in a relationship.

    It would have to be a relationship where we had fun, still got our 'me' time and independence etc.

    But I think I'd make a pretty damn good girlfriend :P So it's frustrating not knowing where your going wrong


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,046 ✭✭✭✭cena


    It would be nice to have some one to talk to. Etc. I feel lonely at times. Any single girls out there p.m me.:) Lol. Would prefer a lovely American women.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,477 ✭✭✭✭cson


    krudler wrote: »
    I like the company, the getting to know each other bit, the giddy meeting someone new part, but I hate the stupid sh1t you wind up fighting about, the silent treatment, all the crap that goes along with relationships, right now I'm not in the place to find someone, nor am I looking, yet strangely women like this, the past few times I've gone out with a "I'm not bothered" attitude I've gotten chatted up, its mental! :confused:

    You're going out just for the night out without any inclination toward meeting someone ergo you're probably relaxed and confident in yourself. That's an attractive vibe to give off to the Laydeez hence the attention. ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 548 ✭✭✭Seomra Mushie


    cena wrote: »
    It would be nice to have some one to talk to. Etc. I feel lonely at times. Any single girls out there p.m me.:) Lol. Would prefer a lovely American women.

    How very specific! :confused::P


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,046 ✭✭✭✭cena


    How very specific! :confused::P

    Well I've always said I would like to go out or marry an American lady.
    I remember going to the head masters office and say that.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,642 ✭✭✭✭fits


    beks101 wrote: »
    [

    Some day, maybe someone will inspire that leap of commitment in me, but this idea that I'm half the person I could be or that there's some big void in my life...perplexing.

    Just because people would like to be in a relationship and share their life with someone doesn't mean they think they're half the person they could be... (rarr)

    I don't like this undercurrent in a way that admitting you'd like someone in your life is sort of weak. and no I don't believe its the magic solution for happiness. I'm choosy about who I let in. That's why I'm single. and would prefer to remain so than be in an unsatisfying relationship.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,802 ✭✭✭beks101


    fits wrote: »
    Just because people would like to be in a relationship and share their life with someone doesn't mean they think they're half the person they could be... (rarr)

    I don't like this undercurrent in a way that admitting you'd like someone in your life is sort of weak. and no I don't believe its the magic solution for happiness. I'm choosy about who I let in. That's why I'm single. and would prefer to remain so than be in an unsatisfying relationship.

    I never said someone was 'weak' for wanting a relationship, I'd love one myself and would have the same attitude as you - not just anyone will do.

    I'm speaking more to the attitude that I've encountered again and again that being single is some sort of deficiency and the many people I've met who physically can't not be in a relationship. I've lots of (mostly female) friends who have been single maybe a few weeks between relationships since they were teenagers, the same girls whose first question to me will be 'how's the love life', 'any boys' etc and will actively try to set me up with their boyfriends' single friends, which is beyond insulting.

    I don't have that same motivation to define myself or my life through my relationship status so it baffles me.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,816 ✭✭✭Acacia


    The last time I was single , I was very happy with it, having just got out of an awful relationship. I'd count it as one of the best times of my life. Now, I'm very happy in a relationship, but as others have said, it's because the person is right for me rather than feeling like I have to be with someone to be happy.


  • Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 80,756 Mod ✭✭✭✭Sephiroth_dude


    I'm happy single but it would be nice to be able to approach women and chat them up and feel confident and not feel like a dopey eejit . Dam you shyness *shakes fist*


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,118 ✭✭✭Babybuff


    This thread has done weird things to me, I'm now looking at people and thinking about them in a ltr light. Help.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,030 ✭✭✭✭Chuck Stone


    I only like women between the age of 27 and 34½, in middle management, weigh between 9½ and 11 stone, natural blonde hair, over 5ft10 but below 6ft, full set of good teeth, well proportioned calf muscles, an IQ over average but not higher than mine (narrow window).

    Can't understand why I'm single. :confused:

    Na, but seriously.... Male opinion alert.

    In my view a strengthening aspect of a good relationship is the room to be 'single' in it. Now I'm not talking about going out and having sex with strange women.

    What I mean is that if you don't have room for your own thoughts, a little time alone, or with friends outside of the relationship then you're asking for trouble.

    Haven't had a relationship of any substance for a couple of years now and I'm usually okay with it but do get the odd time when I think 'this moment would be nice to share with someone special'.


  • Registered Users Posts: 86 ✭✭Fea.


    Do I like being single? wow... I don't know, I honestly haven't decided yet. I'm only single about 18 months now after a long marriage and I go through so many different emotions I'm not sure what I am :)

    Some days are desperately lonely, most definitely. Some days are great and I feel like a new woman and able for anything. Other days I look in the mirror and think "well hun, you had your day, thats it for you now" and end up severely depressed thinking there will never be any guy on this planet that would even look at me sideways let alone come near me lol

    I'm not looking though, I don't feel ready to even think that way, so maybe I'm just still settling into the single life. Anyone have any ideas on how long this will take??? :D


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4 JoJo_zuikutis


    im in a relationship and im very happy :D much prefer being in a relationship than being single tbh.

    if your in a right relationship then it shouldnt feel by any means restricting. and if someone is unhappy in their relationship there's no point being in that relationship if they're unhappy, even if they're scared of being single. best to more on and find one which makes them happy.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,374 ✭✭✭twirlagig


    I love it, tbh. Love my own space, my own bed, getting up/going to bed when you want, FULL control of the remote, no empty milk cartons in the fridge ;)

    The only times I feel like I am missing out is maybe on those cold nights when curling up on the couch with a guy watching a dvd is just lovely, or when you get a wedding invite for 'twirlagig & friend' etc.... But still, I'm happy enough as I am, thank god :)

    A bit off thread, but I wonder how many people have 'friends with benefits' :confused:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,047 ✭✭✭Pippy1976


    eternal wrote: »
    I need some F.U.N, sick of this crap. Where are all the hunks.

    That is an awesome statement. I'm feeling the same but God, that made me laugh! Thanks a million

    pips


  • Registered Users Posts: 204 ✭✭wivy


    i love being single!
    twirlagig wrote: »
    A bit off thread, but I wonder how many people have 'friends with benefits' :confused:
    a few of my friends have this on the go.. jealous! I want one! :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 67 ✭✭atila


    I hope this isn't overly provacative but has anyone considered what they can give rather what they can get.


  • Registered Users Posts: 86 ✭✭Fea.


    wivy wrote: »


    a few of my friends have this on the go.. jealous! I want one! :pac:



    this might sound like a silly question, but how EXACTLY would one go about obtaining ones own 'friend' with said 'benefits'? :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 996 ✭✭✭Neadine


    Fea. wrote: »
    this might sound like a silly question, but how EXACTLY would one go about obtaining ones own 'friend' with said 'benefits'? :D

    Sounds like someone with a mission! :P


  • Registered Users Posts: 86 ✭✭Fea.


    Neadine wrote: »
    Sounds like someone with a mission! :P

    I'm only asking for a friend ;) honest :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 204 ✭✭wivy


    Fea. wrote: »
    this might sound like a silly question, but how EXACTLY would one go about obtaining ones own 'friend' with said 'benefits'? :D

    haha well in some of my friends cases its guys they started goin on dates with and told them they werent really lookin for a LTR.... and shall we say it blossomed from there!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 996 ✭✭✭Neadine


    Fea. wrote: »
    I'm only asking for a friend ;) honest :D


    Of course... I believe ya :rolleyes:


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  • Registered Users Posts: 86 ✭✭Fea.


    *taking notes here* my friend said to say thanks !


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 996 ✭✭✭Neadine


    Fea. wrote: »
    *taking notes here* my friend said to say thanks !

    Maybe you could compile a little information pack!!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 86 ✭✭Fea.


    Way ahead of you here. I'm thinking I might have to put some of these theories to the test before I report back to my friend.

    Here's what I have so far...

    1. tell prospective subject that LTR is not being catered for at this time and assume blossoming position.

    I'll add other suggestions and theories to the list before I report my findings :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 383 ✭✭fullback4glin


    candy-gal1 wrote: »
    exactly, :)

    two things i was never into as a child, baby born and princess bride barbie :pac:
    i prefered my barbies with the great apartment and tons of outfits, or my movie character models.

    i mean id never rule anything like that out, but so far im still just meh about all that stuff


    That sounds so wrong.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,297 ✭✭✭hairyprincess


    It never bothered me being single, I'm very independent, I've never had the desire that I had to be in a relationship. Until, after being single for four years after my marriage break up I met a wonderful guy, but he ended things after a few months. So I'm really not enjoying the single life anymore.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 996 ✭✭✭Neadine


    Fea. wrote: »
    Way ahead of you here. I'm thinking I might have to put some of these theories to the test before I report back to my friend.

    Here's what I have so far...

    1. tell prospective subject that LTR is not being catered for at this time and assume blossoming position.

    I'll add other suggestions and theories to the list before I report my findings :D

    You know, I happen to have a 'friend' who would really like a copy of your completed work!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,802 ✭✭✭beks101


    Fea. wrote: »
    this might sound like a silly question, but how EXACTLY would one go about obtaining ones own 'friend' with said 'benefits'? :D

    Fairly easily in fairness, the market is pretty big for them! You'll find if you introduce the sexual element pretty early on with a guy it follows suit in a pretty straight forward fashion.

    Actually the one thing I don't enjoy about being single is the sexual frustration. I'm well-passed the fcuk buddy stage, as fun as they are I find them emotionally confusing and ultimately damaging. And there's only so long I can go without sex, so every so often I find myself tearing up beer mats and pulling my hair out in frustration! Or jumping into bed with someone I find vaguely attractive, which isn't all that healthy for me either. But I'm not willing to get into a relationship solely just for sex, I need a lot more than that to make the sacrifices that are involved so hey, I guess you just get on with it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,153 ✭✭✭jimbobaloobob


    so they are your beer mats i sweep up at closing hour!!!:cool:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 996 ✭✭✭Neadine


    I have had a 'friends with benefits' situation. But I'm not sure it happened in a way that these things usually do - is there a right and wrong way to achieve a friend with benefits? :rolleyes:
    Anyway, at one point we had been in a relationship, which ended for a whole host of reasons, anyway, we moved on from that to the point where we were good friends, he was someone I could talk to about anything and was always really supportive. Anyway, it went from being relationship, to friendship, to 'benefriends' (I like that word, it's MINE!) Anyway, it was something that would happen from time to time and in the interim it was just friends, but then at some point he wanted to try again.... I didn't... PROBLEM!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 996 ✭✭✭Neadine


    so they are your beer mats i sweep up at closing hour!!!:cool:

    Now you know what shredded beer mats symbolise!
    I had a tendency to peel the ad picture thing off beer mats and just leaving the plain card underneath, my friends used to tell me it was a sign of sexual frustration... maybe they were right.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,802 ✭✭✭beks101


    Neadine wrote: »
    I have had a 'friends with benefits' situation. But I'm not sure it happened in a way that these things usually do - is there a right and wrong way to achieve a friend with benefits? :rolleyes:
    Anyway, at one point we had been in a relationship, which ended for a whole host of reasons, anyway, we moved on from that to the point where we were good friends, he was someone I could talk to about anything and was always really supportive. Anyway, it went from being relationship, to friendship, to 'benefriends' (I like that word, it's MINE!) Anyway, it was something that would happen from time to time and in the interim it was just friends, but then at some point he wanted to try again.... I didn't... PROBLEM!

    Yeah you see that's the problem. If it's goes on for long enough, someone invariably ends up wanting more. So someone gets hurt, even if there never was any intention of it being any more than a handy lay.

    I thought for the longest time that it was a nice set-up for me to get into, but alas I am too emotional a creature for any sort of enduring fcuk buddy relationship. It just leads to headfuck.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1 Julie678


    I dont like being single,i love having a relationship,and all it brings,we need men,im 51,been there dobe that,just hoping to find a nice guy,any tips,,


  • Registered Users Posts: 223 ✭✭Diamond_Ninja


    I genuinely love being single.. I hate sharing my bed! :p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,208 ✭✭✭coco_lola


    I genuinely love being single.. I hate sharing my bed! :p

    Haha, that is the one thing I hate about a relationship! I'm not good at sharing a bed, I'm naturally a very warm person, and when it comes to sharing a bed I get too hot and often have to go to another room to sleep :P I also toss and turn alot, and like to sleep on my face, diagonally, with my arms wrapped around the pillow and my legs wrapped around the duvet! I do not make for a good bed-sharing partner :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 223 ✭✭Diamond_Ninja


    coco_lola wrote: »
    Haha, that is the one thing I hate about a relationship! I'm not good at sharing a bed, I'm naturally a very warm person, and when it comes to sharing a bed I get too hot and often have to go to another room to sleep :P I also toss and turn alot, and like to sleep on my face, diagonally, with my arms wrapped around the pillow and my legs wrapped around the duvet! I do not make for a good bed-sharing partner :D

    I know exactly what you mean! Nobody I know will share a bed with me they know it's a terrible idea! I'd be totally up for the whole separate beds in a marriage thing :D:p lol


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,344 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    I am the same, I have never liked sharing a bed with anyone even if that would be friends/family, despite never been in a relationship long enough to have to deal with that sort of thing.

    I like my comforts and be able to sleep the way I want without fighting over the duvet or one takes up too much space in the bed or one of us falls out of the bed which often leads me almost hanging off the side of the bed.

    I'm a very good sleeper but I find sharing a bed with someone I can't sleep very well. End up tossing and turning anyway regardless. I've to keep warm though. I get cold very easily as I don't retain heat very well so would have everything possible to keep me warm in my bed for the night otherwise I won't sleep if its too cold or too hot.

    I breath heavily when I sleep so the other person might not be able to sleep either.

    I have no problems sharing a room with someone I rather share a room than a bed to be honest.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,568 ✭✭✭candy-gal1


    going to update this, my 2nd post in this thread, but fcuk yeahi love being single! :D
    imho i think you need to already experience a long term relationship and/or be in your 20s, so much to do, so many choices, nothing to worry/think/care about except maybe cash and that kinda thing but thats everyone anyway, and just feeling good! :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 223 ✭✭Diamond_Ninja


    candy-gal1 wrote: »
    going to update this, my 2nd post in this thread, but fcuk yeahi love being single! :D
    imho i think you need to already experience a long term relationship and/or be in your 20s, so much to do, so many choices, nothing to worry/think/care about except maybe cash and that kinda thing but thats everyone anyway, and just feeling good! :D

    Exactly! I have friends from school that have been in the same relationships for 5 or 6 years now, all through their late teens and early 20s and if theyre happy fine but thats not for me at all! Far too much fun to be had :p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1 cavanlass


    Caraville wrote: »
    Honestly, no. I hate it. I like having my freedom and I have loads of friends but I'd prefer to have someone specific to share my time with. And pathetic and all as I may seem, as I get older it does get a bit more depressing- singledom never bothered me til the last 2 or 3 years.

    I am grateful not to be in an unhappy relationship though, so it's not all bad.

    Could not have said it better myself........ trying the online thing to meet someone but im just not sure its the way to go!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 15,676 ✭✭✭✭herisson


    i do and i dont if im being honest!

    it would be nice to have that someone to connect with and be all lovey dovey with....i wouldnt feel as lonely as i do sometimes and i would not be as insecure about everything....

    on the other hand i dont think i would have the energy or the trust to get into a relationship. i have a few friends that are in relationships and to be honest it puts me off having one! One is a clingy control freak, one is a clingy slave so attached to him she will never leave him and will let him basically mess her around and the other one seems to have relationships pretty much sorted at the beginning before she has a massive freak out and does something stupid!

    i dont understand it! If i was in a relationship, i could not handle being with a clingy person, i really couldnt! i need my space, i need room to breathe without them always being around.....

    i think it is clear that i like being single, i wouldnt mind a relationship but for the moment i like my freedom and space. I love how i am not tied down to this person, that my life does not revolve around them and that their life does not revolve around! i dont think i could stand it....i would have to get rid of them!


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