Primary school memories...

Hotfail.com · 31-07-2014 4:51pm #1

Primary school is a strange place.. Got any good stories?

We had a resource teacher who none of us would go near because there was a rumour she'd throw chairs at you if you got a question wrong..

Our janitor (is that even the term?) decided one day to take off his glove and show us the two stumps he had left because the fingers got amputated after a wild cat bit him.. Keep in mind we were in first class and this scared the shíte out of us

Calling my pen a "jackass" when I dropped it on the ground in second class and some little shít told on me and I got in "big trouble".. :rolleyes: He's now a scumbag who's going to court after being caught with a sizeable amount of ecstasy :cool:

The telly that they wheeled in when there was some shítty educational programme to watch, something like "FarmZone" where they turned it into a game that just made jumping into a slurry pit sound cool.. :rolleyes:

Playing the fúcking tin whistle.

When the priest came in and someone asked him a question about evolution and he'd nearly shít himself trying to answer in the most Catholic way possible

I really really hated the place. :mad:

You guys are better at this storytelling caper than me

Share!

The Backwards Man · 31-07-2014 4:59pm

A can of club orange burst in my coat pocket on a trip to Belfast Zoo and wet all my money. Then, I laughed at the monkeys and the principal bought me an animal book in the giftshop.

Spring Onion · 31-07-2014 5:02pm

Small half pint cartons of milk...often gone off.

hairyprincess · 31-07-2014 5:03pm

The Backwards Man wrote: »

A can of club orange burst in my coat pocket on a trip to Belfast Zoo and wet all my money. Then, I laughed at the monkeys and the principal bought me an animal book in the giftshop.

Belfast zoo if you don't mind!! Kids now are lucky to get to Lurgybrack!

KeithM89 · 31-07-2014 5:04pm

10 smiley faces!? Calm yourself.

The Backwards Man · 31-07-2014 5:04pm

Spring Onion wrote: »

Small half pint cartons of milk...often gone off.

One of them burst in my coat once too.

FierceMild · 31-07-2014 5:04pm

Fondest memory of primary school is being told the teacher was out that day, and ripple of joy that went through the room as the television was wheeled in.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 31-07-2014 5:06pm

the breasts on the Senior Infants teacher who taught my little brother.

thegreatgonzo · 31-07-2014 5:07pm

Had a teacher who used to smoke away on sweet aftons in the classroom while telling us to never take up smoking.

Ruu · 31-07-2014 5:08pm

'Give that man a can of coke!', we never got the Coca Cola factory tour that my brother went on.

Ours were trips to Newgrange, Dublin Zoo or Blanch shopping centre. When finishing up on one evening, we picked up the group of teachers in a pub looking very unsteady on their feet. A big woooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh from the back of the bus when they got on.

sh__93 · 31-07-2014 5:08pm

When the local priest would come in for penis inspection day.
Ah, the nostalgia.

The Backwards Man · 31-07-2014 5:13pm

hairyprincess wrote: »

Belfast zoo if you don't mind!! Kids now are lucky to get to Lurgybrack!

We had great tours, transport museum in Holywood, Omagh folk park, belfast zoo.

Looking back, it was the height of the troubles and the school were probably getting them dirt cheap.

RayM · 31-07-2014 5:14pm

Discreetly changing the words of religious songs. 'Peace' always became 'piss'.
Those Quinnsworth 'computers for schools' tokens.
Getting relentlessly slagged for accidentally calling the teacher 'mammy'.
Being told not to laugh whenever the kid who always wet himself... wet himself.
Sniggering whenever 'private parts' were mentioned in the 'Stay Safe' videos.
Teachers panicking when the 'cigire' (inspector) was due to visit.
Zacchaeus was a greedy little man, who cheated all the people in the land. When their rent they could not pay, he would take their land away, the miserable little bollix.

Hotfail.com · 31-07-2014 5:14pm

Ruu wrote: »

'Give that man a can of coke!', we never got the Coca Cola factory tour that my brother went on.

Ours were trips to Newgrange, Dublin Zoo or Blanch shopping centre. When finishing up on one evening, we picked up the group of teachers in a pub looking very unsteady on their feet. A big woooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh from the back of the bus when they got on.

We went to Aillwee Cabes in Sixth class, and besides that it was either no school tour (which I think happened in 3rd-5th year) or Fota Wildlife Park. And it always rains in Fota so we just got soaked and muddy.

newmug · 31-07-2014 5:17pm

People's parents dying young, especially mothers. There seemed to be someone's mammy dead every week. Very sad.

Skill Magill · 31-07-2014 5:18pm

6 of the best, in the principles office, Bamboo or leather, your choice

Skill Magill · 31-07-2014 5:19pm

newmug wrote: »

People's parents dying young, especially mothers. There seemed to be someone's mammy dead every week. Very sad.

Were these unfortunates also missing their homework?

chakotha · 31-07-2014 5:22pm

Irish comhra classes with projector on a screen.

The sensation of the teachers parker pen across the knuckles.

How tomato sandwiches made in the morning taste disgusting by lunchtime.

Long forgotten wrapped squashed uneaten tomato sandwiches at the bottom of the school bag minging.

Schoolyard games - tip the can, red rover, tip release etc.

Extra classes after school: french, recorder and elocution in different years.

The race for the swings near the bus stop after school.

The school milk scheme.

The SCHOOL TOUR! Cork harbour in a boat, Dublin Zoo, Sherkin Island, Gougane Barra in various years.

newmug · 31-07-2014 5:23pm

Skill Magill wrote: »

Were these unfortunates also missing their homework?

???? Eh, no. There genuinely happened to be a lot of young mothers who coincidentally died in my area around the 80's. It is one of my enduring childhood memories. Most of their kids are still around, and it clearly affected the courses of their lives.

Lia_lia · 31-07-2014 5:23pm

Ruu wrote: »

'Give that man a can of coke!', we never got the Coca Cola factory tour that my brother went on.

Haha. I brought that up at work the other day and no one in my team knew what I was on about! Not even the one fella from Dublin!

We went in 5th class.

FierceMild · 31-07-2014 5:26pm

chakotha wrote: »

Long forgotten wrapped squashed uneaten tomato sandwiches at the bottom of the school bag minging.

I had one of those in 5th class, except it was egg and ham sandwich. Forgot about it completely and then when I started to notice the smell, I was too afraid to get rid of it.

By the time I actually got round to it, it was close to growing appendages and crawling out by itself.

Lia_lia · 31-07-2014 5:27pm

I was in the 1st class Alive-O video (we were in an older class when it was filmed). Alive-O 3! Pretty sure they still show it in schools. Even-though it is from the late 90's.

We had a camera crew come to our school. Took a massive chunk out of the year, was gas. I actually lost the video we got of it, would love to see it again. I have a seriously dodgy English accent in it.

Ruu · 31-07-2014 5:30pm

Is it my turn to get the projector today? Pol Peist, that little gurrier!

Hotfail.com · 31-07-2014 5:33pm

Lia_lia wrote: »

I was in the 1st class Alive-O video (we were in an older class when it was filmed). Alive-O 3! Pretty sure they still show it in schools. Even-though it is from the late 90's.

We had a camera crew come to our school. Took a massive chunk out of the year, was gas. I actually lost the video we got of it, would love to see it again. I have a seriously dodgy English accent in it.

How did I forget the Alive-O! songs!?

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really very sorry! I hurt your feelings called you names I want to be your friend again! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really very sorry!"

The bane of my 8 year old life.

Lia_lia · 31-07-2014 5:37pm

Hotfail.com wrote: »

How did I forget the Alive-O! songs!?

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really very sorry! I hurt your feelings called you names I want to be your friend again! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really very sorry!"

Imagine having to learn them all and do dances to them on camera and sing them over and over again for a year :pac:

"I've got a body clock lissssteeeen listeeeeen-en!"

Remember the Siamsa Annuals? They were great.

Hotfail.com · 31-07-2014 5:40pm

Lia_lia wrote: »

Imagine having to learn them all and do dances to them on camera and sing them over and over again for a year :pac:

"I've got a body clock lissssteeeen listeeeeen-en!"

Remember the Siamsa Annuals? They were great.

"Circle of friends all around you, circle of friends string and true-ue, circle of friends always there for you!"

I think we only got the Siamsa annual one year.. Can't really remember it to be honest

Look what I found! :pac: http://education.dublindiocese.ie/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/1st-class-Alive-O-songs-part-4.ppt

Jakey Rolling · 31-07-2014 5:46pm

Singing "10 Little Ni**er Boys" for our school play in 1st class. I was number 2, got frizzled up in the sun IIRC.

It was 1972 though, different times!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 01-08-2014 12:05am

RayM wrote: »

Discreetly changing the words of religious songs. 'Peace' always became 'piss'.

I remember when I made my Confirmation, we did a song with the first line "Peace is flowing like a river..." --- that one was just askign for trouble...

Aidric · 01-08-2014 12:13am

Our headmaster had a massive dandruff problem. Didn't help himself by always wearing a navy jumper.

Other than that not a whole lot. Won the annual tennis tournament in my final year only to be subjected to dogs abuse by the twin sisters of my opponent for not letting him win. The reason? They were best friends with my sister.

gg2 · 01-08-2014 12:19am

Going up to the bruscair to pare your pencil and having a wee natter up there with a fellow student who had to pare theirs too. That one always sticks out when I think of primary school. I had lots of excellently pared pencils.
The smell of the bucket of the little mini milks ewwwww
Huggy bear

zcorpian88 · 01-08-2014 12:48am

When I was in primary everybody had juice boxes rather than bottles of orange or whatever, so all you would hear for all the lunch break was people bursting their juice box by jumping on it. One day I came out of the canteen onto the school yard and there was a juice box on the ground, nobody busted it, so I lifted my size 5 clarks and flattened it, it was a full one and I made the kid sitting next to it cry, it was his!

Bringing the "rula"/ Role book down to the principal and getting a hand full of jelly tots as a reward and being chuffed going back to class.

Singing the Grace Before Meals Prayer before lunch time and then saying the Grace After Meals prayer in the line up before going from the yard back into class.

Watching our principal lose the rag after coming in to announce somebody mashed shyte on the wall in the boys toilet! and he went from class to class to get somebody to own up or "they were a COWARD!!"

Hating the sporty people in my class because they got out of class for sporting events, also they tended to get away with misbehaving in class compared to the students not representing the school at sport.

Having the chat with your class mate pairing your pencil at the bosca bruiscair.

Ringing the angelus bell like a boss at 12pm when it was your turn!

Primary school memories...

Comments