Missing inventions

Spud83 · 27-11-2007 11:38am

Lawless_Samurai wrote: »

I know this is shocking off topic but women can be lethal walking down the street with the umbrella out!!! I suspect they do it on purpose!!! :D

Back on topic... A robot that walks your dog

Have you not seen the ad, buy a treadmill and throw the dog on.

Ger_Hankey · 27-11-2007 12:15pm

Earthhorse wrote: »

"But," I hear you say again (I have pretty good speakers btw), "what if customers don't return the key?" A good point and an admitted drawback of the system. I've estimated that in order for this product to work the cost of an average cinema ticket would have to be around €500, €490 of which is a deposit. Still, other than that I think the idea's pretty flawless.

Tickets with a magnetic strip, like the ones they give out at car parks. Swipe the ticket, it unlocks the seat. The whole system can be reset after the show so their is no need to return the ticket/key. Problem solved, now go make your fortune, my friend...

Terry · 27-11-2007 12:17pm

Another person looking for my inventions.

Come up with your own, dammit.

Mahatma coat · 27-11-2007 1:16pm

ojewriej wrote: »

So this is what we have so far:

- Central lock for the house

move to Alabama, live in a swanky trailer, sorted

- means of stabbing stupid people over the Internet

whilst you're in Alabama

- Some sort of teleportation, even for small objects.

how small?

- A cure for AIDS, cancer & the common cold.

death, stops most diseases

- A pill to instantly stop hangovers.

sorry its a bit bigger than a pill and it comes in a bottle

- paperless office

work outdoors, its increasingly easier

- Lights bulbs that last forever

had one but I broke it

- A device that lets you type with your mind.

they're called hands

- Cars that run on distilled water

OOOOH this one, yeah, I dont want to be abducted by Lizardpeople

- Pills that can stop drug adiction (tobacco, cocaine etc),

SERIOUS MODE - saw an article about clinical trials on this a while back in the Fin

- An alarm in your umbrella that goes off as soon as you leave it behind in the cafe/restaurant/shop/surgery etc.

seriously how hard is it to remember you have a 3 foot cane with a meter of material attached to it, hurry up with invention numbertwo

- E-voting

it Could have worked!!:rolleyes:

- Time machine

sorry, non disclosure statements n all

- those toilets that they have in Japan that basically wipe and clean your ass for you after taking a ****.

You'll find that if you check they have already been invented

- "Jurrasic Park"

fear the Raptors

- an umbrella that doesn't turn inside out whenever the wind picks up a bit!!

tis a safety feature of that soon to be outdated form of rain shield, cant havethe poplation gettin dragged off by a gale mary poppins style on the way to the shops

- A light emitting dildo

I'm sayin NAWTHIN

- a meal in the form of a pill with all the necessary nutrients and vitamins for the lazy man.

See hangover pill above

- A button on the tv that you can press to sound a beep or something on the remote control so you know where the feckin thing has hidden this time.

yeah why hasn't this been invented yet, they have it on phones

- p'tasteos: Basically potatos in paste form. The packaging used would be similar to that of toothpaste.

Mmmmmm, whats the word I'm lookin for

- p'toastos: An extension of the p'tasteos range except this time for toast. Obviously the tagline used for both these products would be "They're p'tasty!"

nope thats not it

- Some kind of magic food flavouring that would make healthy food (vegetables,fruit,yuk etc) taste like nice food

like Sauce

- shield bubble to repel the rain

Rainshield TM in stores soon-ish,

- Digital paper

like what a portable electronic screen that displays digital images

Not bad for one day of brainstorming. Few more and we can have our own little Menlo Park going.

Mentalar park here we come

..

slade_x · 27-11-2007 1:21pm

dior1catboy wrote: »

Why distilled? Would tap water not be cheaper?

sure it would, but distilled water is non corrosive

And is there an automated soup stirrer on the market yet

Pompey Magnus · 27-11-2007 1:22pm

A machine for translating monkey talk into English. I'd love to have a chat with a little monkey fella, I'd say they'd be great fun.

'Ol Jack Chance · 27-11-2007 1:26pm

Raptors ftw

Earthhorse · 27-11-2007 1:28pm

Ger_Hankey wrote: »

Tickets with a magnetic strip, like the ones they give out at car parks. Swipe the ticket, it unlocks the seat. The whole system can be reset after the show so their is no need to return the ticket/key. Problem solved, now go make your fortune, my friend...

But would the magnetic strip have a button on it that would light up your seat for you?

Still, patent pending on your post.

Mahatma coat · 27-11-2007 1:34pm

Earthhorse wrote: »

But would the magnetic strip have a button on it that would light up your seat for you?

Still, patent pending on your post.

why not just print a glow in the dark map on the back of the ticket thats stamped showin where the seat is

once you have found your seat you can place it face down thus eliminating the glow and inconvienience to other patrons who found their correct seats in time

cjt156 · 27-11-2007 1:38pm

Overheal wrote: »

a non-profit driven economic system

We tried that, some geezer called Karl? One of the Marx brothers - the funniest one I think, beard, you know the one.

lucyburn wrote: »

I do have a jacket,but umbrellas are better than jackets.

Pfft, now hold on! I've yet to see an umberellela with pockets where you can keep your bits of old string and those balls of blue fluff, and jam your hands inside & get all Boulevard-of-Broken-Dreams-ish.
Nor can it be used to drape across an offending puddle to save a fair maiden's dainty foot...better than jackets indeed!

Earthhorse · 27-11-2007 1:45pm

Mahatma coat wrote: »

why not just print a glow in the dark map on the back of the ticket thats stamped showin where the seat is

once you have found your seat you can place it face down thus eliminating the glow and inconvienience to other patrons who found their correct seats in time

Hmmm, could be tricky. Especially seeing as I don't know anything about technology.

Also, people want others to know they've arrived in the cinema. If your seat isn't going to emit a blinding light perhaps patrons could be given megaphones on entering so they can announce to others that they've made it. This could revolutionise the cinema going experience!

Pompey Magnus · 27-11-2007 1:58pm

Some sort of a clippable mat that can be attached to the bottom of mugs to stop coffee stains being left of tables would be handy.

I have come up with a great invention that is needed, basically it is foldable legs that attach to a surf board which can then act as a ironing board. Think about it, your heading off on a surfing weekend and naturally you don't think of bring an ironing board with you, but nightmare, all you're clothes are all creased and you have a hot date tonight. Don't worry though because with my "Surf Board Legs" you can easily attach them to your board and iron away. I will make millions :cool:.

MOH · 27-11-2007 2:30pm

Some small capacitor-based device linked to car horns as standard that will give people minor electric shocks. The power of the shock increases the more the horn is used.

So a "quick warning bip" will just tickle, while "leaning on the horn for five minutes becasue you're in a hurry and the guy in front of you didn't break the red lights so now you're stuck here" will cause convulsions.

The charge disspiates over time, so using it properly once every couple of hours will be fine.

Actually, now that I think of it, a similar device should be used in Iarnrod Eireann drivers compartments. Linked to GPS and a clock, the more the train is late, the more of a shock the driver gets. See if they actually do get 96% punctuality then.

jester77 · 27-11-2007 2:33pm

Lord of the cards... one card that controls them all. I would call it the mastercard but the name is already gone.

I'm sick of having to carry multiple keys, cash & coins and all those cards. My wallet has numerous bank/credit cards, health insurance card, drivers license, movie rental card, train/bus card, etc. Why can't we just have 1 card that contains all this data, memory is not a problem these days and there are now even cards with numeric pads built into them for PINS. Just swipe the card to get into your apt, use the card to start your car, show the card at the doctors, use the card for paying everything, etc, less hassle, less chance of fraud!

Earthhorse · 27-11-2007 2:50pm

Depeche_Mode wrote: »

I have come up with a great invention that is needed, basically it is foldable legs that attach to a surf board which can then act as a ironing board.

That's exactly the kind of radical thinking this thread needs. You and I should team up and take our ideas on Dragon's Den.

genie_us · 27-11-2007 2:56pm

Stretchy oven gloves !!

Pompey Magnus · 27-11-2007 3:03pm

Earthhorse wrote: »

That's exactly the kind of radical thinking this thread needs. You and I should team up and take our ideas on Dragon's Den.

That's the spirit, I say we aim for the Australian market first and take it from there. I was just thinking that as well as an ironing board it could also act as a table. The possibilities are endless...

ojewriej · 27-11-2007 3:04pm

jester77 wrote: »

Why can't we just have 1 card that contains all this data, memory is not a problem these days and there are now even cards with numeric pads built into them for PINS. Just swipe the card to get into your apt, use the card to start your car, show the card at the doctors, use the card for paying everything, etc, less hassle, less chance of fraud!

Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, but it has a fatal flaw i think. I mean when someone will find the way to copy it - and someone will - then they have access to your whole life. I wouldn't like that.

ojewriej · 27-11-2007 3:07pm

jergam wrote: »

Stretchy oven gloves !!

Really? How big are your hands?

Depeche_Mode wrote: »

That's the spirit, I say we aim for the Australian market first and take it from there. I was just thinking that as well as an ironing board it could also act as a table. The possibilities are endless...

And make the surfboard be a snowboard at the same time. Whole new market opening for you.

jester77 · 27-11-2007 3:10pm

ojewriej wrote: »

Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, but it has a fatal flaw i think. I mean when someone will find the way to copy it - and someone will - then they have access to your whole life. I wouldn't like that.

Good solid encryption would sort that out!

27-11-2007 3:16pm

jester77 wrote: »

Good solid encryption would sort that out!

With tha access code written on a post-it note stuck on it!

AngryBadger · 27-11-2007 3:17pm

froosh69 wrote: »

how the **** has "Jurrasic Park" not become a reality yet?
they show you how to do it in the movie.
somethin about frogs and insects caught in tree sap...

Wasn't it Frogs and Insects having sex with tree sap? Or maybe they were having sex IN tree sap?

halfinch · 27-11-2007 3:36pm

a dog washer......like a car wash...you put your dog, presuming he is quiet big and he goes through a few diff cycles.....

RxQueen · 27-11-2007 3:38pm

halfinch wrote: »

a dog washer......like a car wash...you put your dog, presuming he is quiet big and he goes through a few diff cycles.....

its already done my dear!! you obv dont be listening to me ha!:D

genie_us · 27-11-2007 3:44pm

ojewriej wrote: »

Really? How big are your hands?

QUOTE]

eh no, the bit in the middle of the hand bits should be stretchy

Earthhorse · 27-11-2007 4:33pm

Depeche_Mode wrote: »

That's the spirit, I say we aim for the Australian market first and take it from there. I was just thinking that as well as an ironing board it could also act as a table. The possibilities are endless...

ojewriej wrote: »

And make the surfboard be a snowboard at the same time. Whole new market opening for you.

Attach wheels and it becomes a skateborad. Set fire to it and it's like a torch. It's the object of a million uses.

Kazu · 27-11-2007 5:20pm

a pill to cure baldness :rolleyes:

27-11-2007 8:07pm

Depeche_Mode wrote: »

That's the spirit, I say we aim for the Australian market first and take it from there. I was just thinking that as well as an ironing board it could also act as a table. The possibilities are endless...

Lay your trousers on it with the pockets open and you can use it as a snooker table.

2 stroke · 27-11-2007 8:17pm

There is already a patent for an ironing board that doubles as a table, stepladder and breadboard. Maybe we can combine these into a table, stepladder, breadboard and surfboard.

jebuz · 27-11-2007 9:44pm

A wallet with a GPS chip in it, so you can track it down if you lose it, would have been useful last week

BendiBus · 28-11-2007 1:59am

A replacement for the drivers airbag system. Instead of an airbag, in the event of a crash a big spike will shoot out from the steering wheel and pin your skull to the headrest. Guaranteed to reduce speeding (would you risk a spiky death?) and will save millions of lives!

28-11-2007 2:59am

BendiBus wrote: »

A replacement for the drivers airbag system. Instead of an airbag, in the event of a crash a big spike will shoot out from the steering wheel and pin your skull to the headrest. Guaranteed to reduce speeding (would you risk a spiky death?) and will save millions of lives!

Thats actually what used to happen more or less, before the invention of collaspable steering columns .

Mahatma coat · 28-11-2007 4:37am

cant see me spring for it as an extra over the CD player or aircon

Spud83 · 28-11-2007 12:32pm

and i thought boards came up with some stupid inventions. Linky

spinaltap · 29-12-2007 10:52pm

Non talking taxi drivers......... just dreaming

kelle · 30-12-2007 12:57am

Senna wrote: »

Lights bulbs that last forever. Its defiantly possible and wouldn't cost a fortune. (the answer given by bulb companies) but if they sell a bulb that lasts for ever, they'll go out of business.

My father installed a bulb outside one of his sheds while it was being built in 1970. It was switched on every night for a couple of hours, and was still lighting up in 1990! I don't know when it eventually blew, but 20 years of service was excellent to say the least!

30-12-2007 1:06am

kelle wrote: »

My father installed a bulb outside one of his sheds while it was being built in 1970. It was switched on every night for a couple of hours, and was still lighting up in 1990! I don't know when it eventually blew, but 20 years of service was excellent to say the least!

How about this one http://www.roadsideamerica.com/set/lightbulbs.html
Approx 100 years and still going! http://www.centennialbulb.org/photos.htm

Sonnenblumen · 30-12-2007 1:39am

spinaltap wrote: »

Non talking taxi drivers......... just dreaming

I'd take talking over smelling any day:eek:

Oh and for new one pending... a MODbuster!

gary the great · 30-12-2007 3:41am

leninbenjamin wrote: »

those toilets that they have in Japan that basically wipe and clean your ass for you after taking a ****. seriously why aren't they the standard?

Cos there a bit *.***

Na there actually crap, i used one in japan and it had 27 different buttons, like wtf who needs that?

phasers · 30-12-2007 10:33am

shopping bags with satellite navigation that walk around behind you

and they are installed with beartraps to ward off thieves

thelordofcheese · 30-12-2007 3:25pm

gary the great wrote: »

Cos there a bit *.***

Na there actually crap, i used one in japan and it had 27 different buttons, like wtf who needs that?

the japanese, they love their buttons.
And giant robots.

Ohh, how about a toilet that transforms into a giant robot, you can have a dump and rampage through downtown tokyo at the same time!
I shall call him "Porcelain Prime"

aidan24326 · 30-12-2007 5:39pm

jester77 wrote: »

Lord of the cards... one card that controls them all. I would call it the mastercard but the name is already gone.

I'm sick of having to carry multiple keys, cash & coins and all those cards. My wallet has numerous bank/credit cards, health insurance card, drivers license, movie rental card, train/bus card, etc. Why can't we just have 1 card that contains all this data, memory is not a problem these days and there are now even cards with numeric pads built into them for PINS. Just swipe the card to get into your apt, use the card to start your car, show the card at the doctors, use the card for paying everything, etc, less hassle, less chance of fraud!

All well and good until you lose the bloody card. The British government (and probably the EU) have talked about a smart id card for a while now, that would contain all your info like health records, criminal record, tax info etc. Wouldn't fancy it myself.

How about a microchip implanted in your brain, with all your favourite music on it? (and easy to add more anytime you want, with some sort of electronic interface) It would be thought activated. Listen to any music you want any time you want just by thought control.

Teleportation has already been demonstrated, but only for individual atoms. Teleporting whole objects is still a long way away, and may never be possible.

Pigman II · 30-12-2007 5:52pm

thelordofcheese wrote: »

Ohh, how about a toilet that transforms into a giant robot, you can have a dump and rampage through downtown tokyo at the same time!
I shall call him "Porcelain Prime"

I would have called him Skids.

30-12-2007 7:50pm

Cars that drive themselves, the type seen in A.I and I-Robot. It would surely clamp down on speeding, and amazing how its not out there yet. Wouldn't it just use GPS.

Also, a pill that stops addictions? Wouldn't they just get addicted to this pill then?

January · 30-12-2007 8:16pm

Did you not see that Top Gear where the BMW was driving itself???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kv6HSQ7YoE4

The guy · 30-12-2007 10:10pm

jebuz wrote: »

A wallet with a GPS chip in it, so you can track it down if you lose it, would have been useful last week

Yeh, but you probably wouldn't have got one if your wallet wasn't stolen.

curehead · 30-12-2007 11:01pm

so you want to have scrambled egg for breakfast but the thought of breaking all those eggs adding milk butter and pepper whisking it getting the mixture right always a pain in the ass for me .
WHY can't you just buy this off the shelves like in a plastic bottle like milk ready to pour into the saucepan hell you could even fry it thats nice too .
i know i would buy it .
there are worse and weirder things on our shelves , hell i only saw candy floss in a plastic cup for sale the other day ,
would save chefs an awful lot of hassle too

Missing inventions

Comments