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Lesbian parent hopefuls

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    #62
    Mush09
    Registered Users Posts: 13 ✭Mush09


    Hello Everyone,
    I just have a quick question about the "legal" side of things once a same sex couple have a child together. My Irish Law wouldn't be the best so any help would be greatly appreciated. My partner and I are soon to start IUI treatment and me, being the worrier, would like to know what needs to be done (hopefully) when we get pregnant .
    Thanks :)


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    #63
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 40,827 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Lots of information here and here

    http://www.iccl.ie/attachments/download/280/FA_ICCL_KYR_SameSexCouple_B&W.pdf

    http://www.treoir.ie/target-lgbt.php#.UYoDhENZ7Js

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #64
    Mush09
    Registered Users Posts: 13 ✭Mush09


    Thank you so much Mango Salsa. Two very helpful sources of information :-)
    Much appreciated :-D


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    #65
    crawlb4uwalk
    Registered Users Posts: 71 ✭✭crawlb4uwalk


    Your clinic should point you in the direction of a solicitor, or at least suggest that you see one, so that you can draw up some agreements between yourselves or should anything happen to either of you. Irish law is behind in this area both for children of gay parents but also for kids in other kinds of families that aren't 'mammy and daddy' (common) families. They will have to change it. Its outrageously ridiculous at this stage.


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    #66
    Mush09
    Registered Users Posts: 13 ✭Mush09


    Thanks very much for thr advice. We have an appointment in the coming weeks so will definitely add it to the list of questions we have already :-)
    Thanks again

    crawlb4uwalk wrote: »
    Your clinic should point you in the direction of a solicitor, or at least suggest that you see one, so that you can draw up some agreements between yourselves or should anything happen to either of you. Irish law is behind in this area both for children of gay parents but also for kids in other kinds of families that aren't 'mammy and daddy' (common) families. They will have to change it. Its outrageously ridiculous at this stage.


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    #67
    crawlb4uwalk
    Registered Users Posts: 71 ✭✭crawlb4uwalk


    @Mush09 Good luck!


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    #68
    Mush09
    Registered Users Posts: 13 ✭Mush09


    Thanks :) We'll let ye know how we get on over the next few months :)


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    #69
    the2moms
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭the2moms


    I know this is an oldish thread but gay couples (lesbians looking to use donor sperm. not sure if they sort out surrogates for the guys) out there looking to start a family I recommend Dr Eithne Lowe and Dr Una Conway at Galway Fertility Unit. Amazing staff. Excellent facilities. Very professional and everything is nice and simple. Highest regards to them all. xxx


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    #70
    Lorristar
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭Lorristar


    Hi we r a lesbian couple and want to start a family, we my girlfriend is 40 so we went t c if all was ok we went to sims clinic in Dublin has anyone had any experience with them, any advice to us would b so good as we haven't a clue were to start thanks


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    #71
    crawlb4uwalk
    Registered Users Posts: 71 ✭✭crawlb4uwalk


    Lorristar wrote: »
    Hi we r a lesbian couple and want to start a family, we my girlfriend is 40 so we went t c if all was ok we went to sims clinic in Dublin has anyone had any experience with them, any advice to us would b so good as we haven't a clue were to start thanks

    I have no experience with SIMS in Dublin. Are you based in Dublin? If not there are other clinics around the country that you could contact and make a decision based on your own impression of them.
    If you have had tests done with SIMS or at your GP make sure you can get copies of results so that you don't need to do them or pay for them again.


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    #72
    rere
    Registered Users Posts: 107 ✭✭rere


    The tcc sub forum in Parenting is pretty good for reviews on the different clinics in Ireland and I've seen a few posts from gay couples there too.
    Best of luck :-)


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    #73
    apollo10
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭apollo10


    I am a current patient of SIMS. My wife and I are generally happy with the care but we have definitely had to advocate for ourselves as a same sex couple on a few occasions.

    The medical care is of the highest standard however sometimes we feel SIMS could facilitate our diversity better. As I understand 15% of IUI patients in SIMS are same sex couples. My wife however is sick of crossing out 'male' and 'male partner' on the consent forms we are given. Also I have been on the receiving end of heterosexual relationship advice from a number of staff who don't bother to read my file and recognise that some of what they say is not applicable to me and is actually very insensitive.

    These are just some examples of what we have navigated our way through in our journey so far, in saying that we feel we are in the hand of competent professionals in SIMS

    Apollo10


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    #74
    Mush09
    Registered Users Posts: 13 ✭Mush09


    @apollo10 My partner and I attended Brooklawn Clinic in Galway under Dr. Eithne Lowe. She was recommended to us. We cannot speak highly enough of her and all the staff at Brooklawn. They were all fantastic. Made us feel so comfortable with the IUI treatment we had. The fact that we were a same sex couple made absolutely no difference because they treat everyone the same. Best of Luck :)

    @Lorristar If ye are anywhere near Galway I'd highly recommend them as stated above. The procedure is that you get referred by your G.P. (You'll have to get lots of bloods done by your G.P as requested by the consultant) You'll meet the consultant, she'll talk you thru everything, she'll do an internal scan to see if everything looks ok. You will be asked if you'd want to do a HSG xray which is basically where they insert a dye into you to check if your Fallopian tubes are blocked. This isn't mandatory but when you're paying this much money for the procedure it's probably best to do in order to increase chances of getting pregnant. You and your partner will have to meet a counsellor for an hour. It is mandadtory for all people using sperm donation. The counsellor (Dr. White) is fantastic, so lovely. Very non judgemental, just gives you a better approach on how to deal with topics that will arise when the baby is born (Explaining why baby has two moms etc :) )You will meet the consultant once more where she goes thru all your results, you chose your donor, and then they'll set you up with a date for the treatment. Be prepared because it all happens so fast :-D This time last year we hadn't even met the consultant yet and now my partner has 9 weeks to go in the pregnancy :-D Hope this info help...any further questions just shout. Best of Luck :)


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    #75
    crawlb4uwalk
    Registered Users Posts: 71 ✭✭crawlb4uwalk


    I agree with @Mush09

    We had a consult at Brooklawn Clinic in Galway in Feb of last year and I am typing right now with a sleeping baby on my chest!
    The staff were excellent, we were treated like any other couple, referred to as a family, my partner signed consent forms. The facilities were super and the treatment was straight forward and very quick! No messing around.
    The mandatory counselling was really helpful and Pauline White is lovely. She was very positive and had some good information on talking to your kids about having two moms.

    @apollo10 - regarding the "male" parts of forms... we had a somewhat funny experience of that recently when registering the birth and getting the birth cert. The poor woman filling in the details was so accommodating having never dealt with a same sex couple and a baby before, that she filled in my partners details in the "father" column. Which made no sense and would have been awkward down the line when our baby had to explain her birth cert at the passport office "no my second mom never had a penis".. We obviously ended up leaving that column blank but we all agreed that there should be another box to tick on the outdated system. fair play to her for trying! Our baby does have both our surnames though :)


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    #76
    passpow
    Registered Users Posts: 15 ✭passpow


    Hey all,

    My girl friend and I are researching into our options for having a baby. What we would like is that she would have baby via my eggs and with a sperm donor she would be inseminated which is IUI as far as i know. BUT i am really confused as to how to go about inquiring about this and if this is even possible. I was hopin if there was anybody on here who has gone about this and if they have any helpful info for us about what clinics are good for lesbian couples. were both in our mid twenties are looking into this before we leave it until it is too late lol so I would be really greatful if someone had any info on this topic i would really appreciate it :) thanks a lot x

    Also on another topic we are looking into marriage and obv we cant in ireland and do not want a civil partnership is there anyone with information about nice countries to get married in :):D


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    #77
    crawlb4uwalk
    Registered Users Posts: 71 ✭✭crawlb4uwalk


    passpow wrote: »
    Hey all,

    My girl friend and I are researching into our options for having a baby. What we would like is that she would have baby via my eggs and with a sperm donor she would be inseminated which is IUI as far as i know. BUT i am really confused as to how to go about inquiring about this and if this is even possible. I was hopin if there was anybody on here who has gone about this and if they have any helpful info for us about what clinics are good for lesbian couples. were both in our mid twenties are looking into this before we leave it until it is too late lol so I would be really greatful if someone had any info on this topic i would really appreciate it :) thanks a lot x

    Also on another topic we are looking into marriage and obv we cant in ireland and do not want a civil partnership is there anyone with information about nice countries to get married in :):D

    Hi,
    Out of interest, why have you not got a civil partnership? If you get married outside of Ireland it won't make a difference to you in Ireland anyway.

    If you were to use your eggs, I think you would need to do IVF (make embryos with your eggs and donor sperm and have them put into your girlfriend)
    As far as I know harvesting eggs is expensive and a lengthy procedure if you were to time it to when you would need to have them ready for implanting in your girlfriend. And then there's the amount of times they might not stick.
    Its a lovely idea. We thought about it, but never pursued it or even asked about it. In the future my partner might use our donor and have a baby herself. We'll have a brood of half siblings :)

    You should make an appointment for a consultant at a clinic and see what they say about it. Let us know what you find out. I'm sure others here have had the same idea!


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    #78
    Mush09
    Registered Users Posts: 13 ✭Mush09


    Hi Passpow
    Check out my post on the previous page of this thread, dated the 24/02/14, in relation to our IUI/Fertility Clinic treatment :-)
    Good Luck


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    #79
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Have u any advice 4 us just startin ivf?


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