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Oh dear

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Comments

  • #52
    darsheblows
    Registered Users Posts: 18 ✭darsheblows


    We were out for a few drinks the other night with a few other friends. Great evening. I wasn't drinking so drove them all home. Last to drop off was this guy.
    Sitting in the passenger seat. Reaches over and places his hand on my crotch. i didn't move it. Started rubbing me. I pulled over in a quiet car park and he went down on me.
    Wow


  • #53
    AdFundum
    Registered Users Posts: 84 ✭✭AdFundum


    I just can't imagine a gay guy in the workplace behaving in the way you describe - "That filing cabinet really brings out your bumcheeks" - maybe I am naive but it just doesn't make sense. OP, are you sure you didn't start the flirtation? I know what guys look like when they fancy you - and usually, they just look you up and down and a bit - the courageous ones might stutter something. I can't help but think there is something disingenuous here.


  • #54
    lyinghere
    Registered Users Posts: 132 ✭✭lyinghere


    darsheblows wrote: »
    We were out for a few drinks the other night with a few other friends. Great evening. I wasn't drinking so drove them all home. Last to drop off was this guy.
    Sitting in the passenger seat. Reaches over and places his hand on my crotch. i didn't move it. Started rubbing me. I pulled over in a quiet car park and he went down on me.
    Wow


    Literally no remorse picked up in this comment. You are cheating. In my opinion you really need to think about what you have done and evaluate next steps. Not fair on your family and lack of consideration for consequences is shocking.

    People on here might tell you it's fine and I'm being judgemental but you need to think about what your wife would think if she knew, you might think it's ok but she mostly likely would feel betrayed. It's her feelings that matter here and you took a vow to consider them.

    By making the decision to let this happen you are effectively choosing to end this marriage in my opinion, or at least that how you should be thinking about it.


  • #55
    darsheblows
    Registered Users Posts: 18 ✭darsheblows


    Of course I know it's wrong. I'm not an idiot.
    But feck it's good.


  • #56
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I'm a bit concerned at this approach that cheating is always bad
    It's not nice ,for sure, if someone you're with or married to goes off with someone else,that's true
    But against that no relationship or marriage is a prison
    Facts are if someone else attracts you such that you no longer can be happy with your current partner, then it's better to go for it rather than be miserable
    Why be miserable?
    Where kids are involved, there's thousands of examples countrywide of split parents loving their kids as much as ever

    In the op's case he's exploring a side of his life and has a decision to make
    Looking at it any other way or preaching higher moral ground should be left well out of it in my opinion save for comfort or support that the dumped partner may need
    I say best of luck to the Op


  • #57
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,104 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Marriage isnt in general a prison. It can be a prison for some. I really dont think anyone here suggested that it is in general a prison. Its generally accepted that people who take vows are signing upto the ideas of faithfullness and monogamy.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • #58
    SliabhnamBan
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭SliabhnamBan


    If, up to now, you have been happy with your wife, then steer clear of this guy and re-commit yourself to your wife.

    Why would you risk your happiness for someone you barely know?


  • #59
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Joeytheparrot wrote: »
    Marriage isnt in general a prison. It can be a prison for some. I really dont think anyone here suggested that it is in general a prison. Its generally accepted that people who take vows are signing upto the ideas of faithfullness and monogamy.
    True, but the reality is different, there are plenty thousands of happily divorced people in Ireland and rightly so All marriages or relationships are ideally a commitment but through this thread I'm sensing a condemnation of what is normal and a real politik of everyday life ie commitment s are made but circumstances sometimes intervene to mean a change


  • #60
    darsheblows
    Registered Users Posts: 18 ✭darsheblows


    Because it's fun.


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  • #61
    Locker10a
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 4,185 Mod ✭✭✭✭Locker10a


    darsheblows wrote: »
    Because it's fun.

    So did you speak to this guy at all about the whole situation, I assume he knows you are "straight" ! After your encounter did you speak ? Is it not awkward at work ?


  • #62
    floggg
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,824 ✭✭✭floggg


    darsheblows wrote: »
    Because it's fun.

    I'm really doubting that any of this actually happened.

    The original story was a little of the the top, and now the cliched story and the apparent complete lack of regret or guilt.


  • #63
    Rick_
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,611 ✭✭✭Rick_


    I'm starting to doubt it too. Perhaps it's just a thrill for the OP to type out a fantasy and have us all react to it. What started off in the OP as what seemed like a genuine "I don't know what to do - help me" plea has seemingly now turned into "I've done it, I'm glad and I'm gonna revel in it" type thing which just strikes me as odd.


  • #64
    Ash885
    Registered Users Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Ash885


    Paddy C wrote: »
    I'm starting to doubt it too. Perhaps it's just a thrill for the OP to type out a fantasy and have us all react to it. What started off in the OP as what seemed like a genuine "I don't know what to do - help me" plea has seemingly now turned into "I've done it, I'm glad and I'm gonna revel in it" type thing which just strikes me as odd.

    Bingo. Grown men don't need advice on if/why/why not to cheat. It's just inflating egos.


  • #65
    jobbridge4life
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,759 ✭✭✭jobbridge4life


    I'll admit the story as it has progressed strikes me as less than fully convincing. At the same time I can't recount the amount of times I've read things on the internet and indeed elsewhere, 100% true, that struck me as being far fetched. Isn't it possible that the OP posted this tale of conflicted emotions and thought, seeking out affirmation for the choice he had already made? By which I mean, he may have been confronted by the situation presented and already have decided to indulge and was seeking some sort of reassurance or moral approval? This would explain much of the issues others have articulated as casting doubt on the veracity of the story.


  • #66
    Peregrinus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,690 ✭✭✭✭Peregrinus


    I too am sceptical about the truth of the whole thing.

    But, if it is true, I don't think the OP is looking for reassurance or moral approval. The whole tone of the thread from day 1 has made it clear that he is not going to get that; he would need to be extraordinarly stupid to cointinue looking for it here.

    I think it's more he hopes to provoke an enjoyable (to him) reaction when he tells of rejecting the advice which he sought, but didn't take.


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  • #67
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,104 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    If you think the op is trolling then report the posts. Quit speculating on thread.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • #68
    Aplotemerges
    Registered Users Posts: 8 ✭Aplotemerges


    darsheblows wrote: »
    Just to update .. I gave in ..

    What exactly did you give in to? Did he recripocate? Are you going to do it again?


  • #69
    MarriedButBi
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭MarriedButBi


    If he did it once he'll do it again, I'd say he's dying to reciprocate if he hasn't already.


  • #70
    Aplotemerges
    Registered Users Posts: 8 ✭Aplotemerges


    I'd say he's gagging to reciprocate and can't wait to have it happen again!


  • #71
    MarriedButBi
    Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭MarriedButBi


    Aplotemerges wrote: »
    I'd say he's gagging to reciprocate and can't wait to have it happen again!

    Well he really enjoyed it the first time, didn't appear to have significant (if any) remorse or guilt...if I was him I would have ensured the opportunity presented itselg again, I'd be giving him a lift home every night, or at least let them know that I was available for lists :D


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