Manager correcting me on personal issues

Hi,
I had to answer this even though it is quite late.

In my opinion he is out of line and shouldn't have spoken about a negative work issue on that occasion. I think that it says more about him than you and he may have a problem communicating generally and can only do it with drink taken- totally inappropriate.

I was the 3rd person in a conversation like that on one occasion not having being long with the company and my boss was criticising someone who was not even reporting to him. I stayed out of it and the other person mentioned it to me the next day and I said that I didn't listen to any of it. The same boss tried to discuss work issues with me a few years later after drink taken when we were away on business and I completely stopped him and said we could talk the next day.

I have worked closely with some interns and realise how much they want the experience to work out so I appreciate your upset at this. Is your supervisor in the company a different person? If so and you feel that you get on with him or her then try and broach the issue with them and try and tease out whether they feel the same about you. If this manager is your main supervisor I think you should try and speak to him on a more formal basis.

If you are speaking to any of them you should decide what to say and write down points and try and memorise your points as best as possible. Look at it this way, the company use you for work and you are using them to fine tune your work skills.

Don't let it upset you. Get an idea of how much this could be an issue for you and, if it is, practice and work on making it better.

Are you upset because he offered this criticism, or because he offered it in the place, and on the occasion that he did?

The criticism itself is fine. I don't know, of course, how justified it was, but even if it was not substantially justified the fact that people - people senior to you, people with management responsibility over you - perceive you as someone who speaks indistinctly or who mumbles is information that it is useful to you to have. If nobody else ever says anything of the kind to you, then possibly this is your manager's problem, not yours. But now you'll be alert to the fact that there may be an issue here, or at least the perception of an issue.

As regards the place and time where he delivered this criticism, as others have said he was obviously out of line. Likewise the manner in which he delivered it, including doing his impression of you. But I'd let it go. You're an intern; this is a temporary position; he is not going to be your manager long-term. His shortcomings as a manager, though serious, are not a long-term problem for you, whereas if you really do speak indistinctly, that could be a long-term problem. So the think you should take away from this is attentiveness to your own communication skills, not a gripe about his management skills. The first matters to you, and you can do something about it. The second, not so much.

It's an internship. You're in it for what you can get out of it towards your longer-term career. Pursuing a complaint against your manager, though it might be justified, is a distraction.

OP

Unfortunately this individual is fairly typical of the poor standards of management aka those ' in a position of power' employed as managers. Managers please note.

The situation ie his consumption of alcohol and his behaviour towards you were totally out of context and improper.

For anyone who would excuse this type of behaviour - there is a proper place for feedback. >An individual under the influence of alcohol in a bar is not<

It is unfortunate that this type of behaviour is nearly never dealt with adequately. I would suggest you avoid as much contact with this individual in the future, they sound like an office bully. And neither should you be eternally grateful to them as having given you the intern position as I doubt from what you said it is his company. It is likley it was more than one person making this decision. If you had been that poor at interview - do you think the company would have taken you on as an intern?

From what you have said you disagree with the statement that you do not speak clearly. Just remember that because he is a manager neither makes him right or infallible. You come across as very clear in your writing.

So practical advice:
Avoid this person as much as possible, especially in any social setting.
Keep a diary of any future incidences or negative behavior towards you.
Ask for a one to one with your direct supervisor (presuming it's not the same individual) and ask for feedback on your performance to date. No need to mention anything particular but you could ask if there are areas that you can improve on.
Work on these areas to improve.
As you can see from here - never give anyone ammunition to use against you. You will notice that others will take the criticism voiced against you and throw it at you as if by the fact what was said is definitely true, ignore this bias.
Chin up - the manager sounds like a complete plonker.

I think you're blowing this out of proportion.

Just speak louder / clearer / more confidentially.

He was not slagging you, it sounds like he was trying to give you an example.

Don't always look to stand up for yourself - this occasion did not warrant it.

You're an intern, you're there to learn.

It doesn't sound like the most appropriate setting to be given constructive criticism. However, use this advice positively and look at how I can improve my public speaking, etc.

Don't let this incident knock your confidence use it as a learning experience to build yourself up and better yourself.

You may not have been aware how you sound to others - you do now!

Why is everybody convinced this chap is a drunk who can't hold his drink ,
It seems he offered advice in a informal way and pointed something out to the op which the op may actually find was useful in his current position as an intern ,
If it was me I'd gladly take any advice that might help improve my chances of a job now or in the future

Gatling wrote: »

Why is everybody convinced this chap is a drunk who can't hold his drink ,
It seems he offered advice in a informal way and pointed something out to the op which the op may actually find was useful in his current position as an intern ,
If it was me I'd gladly take any advice that might help improve my chances of a job now or in the future

The 'advice' is made irrelevant by the way and how it was delivered...

Today we had a social to celebrate some company achievements.

I was in the bar and I got talking to my manager (head of my department) and an other work colleague. ...He said that I don't speak clearly nor do I pronounce my words very well. ...He went on and on, he even did a slight impression... At some point I said am I really that bad? His answer was "I could bull**** you but to be honest it's crap...He had a fair few drinks on him and all this was said in front of another colleague.

IF the OP lacks confidence in speaking taking the P/ss in such a venue in front of others is neither proper nor acceptable as a manager.

This has cheered me up immensely, Now i remember why i dont work in an office anymore with stuck up pricks and greasy ladder climbing prepster's.:P

Not the correct setting to be giving constructive feedback to an intern, he needs to brush up on his managerial skills.