LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

SharpshooterTom · 27-06-2013 8:55am

delthedriver wrote:

May I suggest volunteering in a local charity shop, which would firstly get you out of the house every day and bring some focus to your life. It would also be a nice way of giving something back to people whose lives are much less fortunate than ours.

I'm actually actively looking to take up volunteering. I'm thinking about volunteering for either st johns ambulance or the nhs here in the north as its related to my career path so beneficial in both ways.

When I mean about being selective I want to do something thats worthwhile. I've worked a year out for engineering company as part of a year placement in 09-10 in monaghan, and it didn't benefit me, I have had other part time jobs and not got anything out of the social aspect.

When I say talking about tennis lessons (something I'd like to take up) I question it because I feel taking up lessons for a couple of hours a week wont improve my situation much or at all. Now thats not to say I shouldn't do it, but you can understand why I feel cautious about what I take up etc because it hasn't worked out in the past previously.

I suppose you could say though I'm a different person now, I've had some therapy, I've reorganised my life a lot, I'm more motivated and wanting to break the social awkwardness thats inhibited me for so long. There's a determination there. So perhaps I might have different results this time as a more confident "newer" person? Thats what my therapist was saying. I'm a little bit different to how I was then when I accepted my social awkwardness/"I can't make friends so who cares" syndrome.

Drumpot wrote: »

My point is that we all have to live in the real world and get a job and study for exams. But it doesn't mean we can't live our dreams in some form. A little bit of what I always dreamed of when I was younger is infinitely better then nothing but the monotonous slog of working class 9-5 life!

I totally accept what you are saying. Its just that this year, I've been overwhelmed with doing 4 A levels (the norm is 3), plus finishing off a telecommunications masters. It has consumed me to no end.

I think thats my challenge to be honest from now on, is to somehow find a work balance this year that can simultaneously get me the grades I want, and allows me enough time to do other things. Something I have failed at last year, and maybe that should be something I have to work on.

playedalive · 28-06-2013 9:34am

ThomasFlynn wrote: »

The problem is I'm home with my parents over the summer months now, couped up in the house and not sure what to do, lonely, and by time I sort anything out, I'm back at college early september, studying relentlessly to get A*'s.

I'm concious about making the first post too long so I've split it up a bit. I'm just so lonely right now feel a little hopeless again. Utterly dejected and feel a little directionless after just being tossed out like that from therapy. Perhaps I'm over reacting and she probably was doing the right thing naturally. But I am stuck at home worry the same problems might exacerbate again. I'm nearly 27 now, I'm not getting any younger..

I can understand feeling lonely when you're couped up in the house. I'm now finished my undergrad and feel quite lost. It was the same during final year when I had my thesis.

In relation to therapy, I sometimes found it easier to do stuff on my own. For example, CBT. A counsellor can be great, but I found it better to do stuff on my own. If you find something like CBT journal for dummies (which I use now), it helps to challenge your thinking.

Drumpot · 28-06-2013 11:30am

playedalive wrote: »

I can understand feeling lonely when you're couped up in the house. I'm now finished my undergrad and feel quite lost. It was the same during final year when I had my thesis.

In relation to therapy, I sometimes found it easier to do stuff on my own. For example, CBT. A counsellor can be great, but I found it better to do stuff on my own. If you find something like CBT journal for dummies (which I use now), it helps to challenge your thinking.

I've done group (http://www.aware.ie/help/support/life-skills-programme/) CBT and still doing on-going one to one CBT. Any CBT is better then no CBT, but if you are feeling lonely I would just stress a bit of caution as trying to do something so important on your own might mean you could misinterpret some of what it says or scoff at some of the simple suggestions.

I felt very lonely for a long time and doing the Group thing was a huge leap of faith for me and it took me out of my comfort zone (which in hindsight I think was extremely important for me).

I cant speak from a perspective of doing CBT on my own and while its no harm in reading up about it yourself, I think its helpful having somebody help you understand the exact specifics of what it says and help you through it. Perhaps there are people unlike me who can apply textbook to life, but I have found working with professionals or others to interpret helpful information (like CBT) has helped me get a better understanding of what it entails. I most certainly would not have had the same success on my own as I have had with others helping me along the process.

Incidentally, as an observation , getting out to do CBT with a therapist/group would actually get you out of the house. Its not so much a social thing as a commitment to your well being. Actually, that's another thing it was for me, I made a commitment that I couldn't just choose when it suited me to do my CBT training (that reading a book would do). In a funny way it gave me confidence that somebody else had my back and I wasn't only relying on myself (which in itself took a little bit of my loneliness away).

Wattle · 28-06-2013 12:39pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

Ruby Wax the broadcaster has just done a book on Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT).

Here's a link with her talking about it: http://oxfordmindfulness.org/about-mindfulness/ruby-wax/

28-06-2013 10:30pm

I can't help but feel that university destroyed me. I did a course I hated, stuck with it 'cause I was too stubborn to drop out, got a crappy result, did a Masters to compensate for that crappy result which is putting me under so much pressure.....all this misery has occupied six years of my life. Six years I'll never get back. Six years of my youth, which is rapidly disappearing. Even if I discover what I want to do with my life when I'm 30 or 40, I'll never have a chance to relive my twenties. Why so many people fail to know what they wanna do during this time is incomprehensible to me, it just seems so cruel.

So it's not comforting to me to know that others are in my boat....NO-ONE should be in this boat! And yet I must seem pretty ungrateful, 'cause a lot of people would have loved to go to uni in the first place but never got a chance....

....ultimately I just feel like I've wasted those six years, and even though that should make me determined not to waste the next six it's having the opposite effect: the "best years of my life" are gone, and I have very view positive memories of them, so what's the fúcking point in continuing? I'll never be good enough, EVER. I don't care how unrealistically high my standards are, doesn't change the fact that I'm not living up to them.

Someone (roseybear I think) mentioned something about "learning to be happy with being one of the crowd". And that makes total 100% sense....but it doesn't make me feel any better. At all. I'm honestly not sure how much longer I can cope with constantly being a disappointment to myself. I begininning to stop caring about how proud my family are of me or how much my friends might care about me; they obviously just have low standards because there is NOTHING about me worth acknowledging or celebrating or being proud of.

And seeing other people, including people who've hurt me in the past or hurt people I care about, succeeding in life and getting by so easily.....that just makes me feel sick and want to curl up in a ball and never ever wake up.

Life isn't fúcking fair, and it's a bad sign when a privileged middle class white boy is saying shít like that....

roseybear · 28-06-2013 11:50pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I can't help but feel that university destroyed me. I did a course I hated, stuck with it 'cause I was too stubborn to drop out, got a crappy result, did a Masters to compensate for that crappy result which is putting me under so much pressure.....all this misery has occupied six years of my life. Six years I'll never get back. Six years of my youth, which is rapidly disappearing. Even if I discover what I want to do with my life when I'm 30 or 40, I'll never have a chance to relive my twenties. Why so many people fail to know what they wanna do during this time is incomprehensible to me, it just seems so cruel. So it's not comforting to me to know that others are in my boat....NO-ONE should be in this boat! And yet I must seem pretty ungrateful, 'cause a lot of people would have lovethings eto uni in the first place but never got a chance....

....ultimately I just feel like I've wasted those six years, and even though that should make me determined not to waste the next six it's having the opposite effect: the "best years of my life" are gone, and I have very view positive memories of them, so what's the fúcking point in continuing? I'll never be good enough, EVER. I don't care how unrealistically high my standards are, doesn't change the fact that I'm not living up to them.

Someone (roseybear I think) mentioned something about "learning to be happy with being one of the crowd". And that makes total 100% sense....but it doesn't make me feel any better. At all. I'm honestly not sure how much longer I can cope with constantly being a disappointment to myself. I begininning to stop caring about how proud my family are of me or how much my friends might care about me; they obviously just have low standards because there is NOTHING about me worth acknowledging or celebrating or being proud of. And seeing other people, including people who've hurt me in the past or hurt people I care about, succeeding in life and getting by so easily.....that just makes me feel sick and want to curl up in a ball and never ever wake up. Life isn't fúcking fair, and it's a bad sign when a privileged middle class white boy is saying shít like that....

I could say I know exactly how u feel but noone can. I think frm what uve posted there that I went through something very similar and tbh I couldn tell u what was the turning point for me.. obv the medication helped majorly and seeing the uni councilor helped a small bit and lettin my mam and dad know anytime i felt bad was a major help(they didn do anything but just the fact that I voiced it seemed to help) but I cant tell u when r what it was that made me wake up in the morning thinking yeh life is **** but lets gt up anyway.. I think u need to kind of hit the bottom and then start building up. I did gt to the point where I didnt trust myself driving as everytime I was behind the wheel I kept thinking now what if I just veered to the side a bit and that'll b the end of it.. fortunately I came out of this dark place and things r ok (nt great at the min but still btr)

U sound very close if not at rock bottom and im so sorry u feel this way, ur right no one should, but it happens. I think u should go a bit easy onthe "best yrs of ur life" stuff. I still think f**k sake evryone is off doing stuff and im stuck her doing sod all cept work, just plodding along with life and a job that I just do to get me somewhere else. But iv learnt to calm dwn, and ask.myself whats the hurry? Im 22, going on 23, nt 83. Provided I look after myself mentally and physically I will have those good times and enjoy life like I imagine ppl should.. so I would say u need to gt on the offense with this because it sounds like its really taking over. just gt to the gp, just say to ur mum r dsd r someone ur comfortable with that u dnt feel great, just gt agressive with it, start attacking it like that little voice in ur head is attacking u (I cant remember if u had gne to ppl r nt and if u were on meds).if uv dne these go back and do it again. Ppl r gna b upset and therr will prob b tears and fights but when u r finally happy it will all b worth it. Im no expert and although I suffered for 4 yrs with thisI would still say I am iinexperienced dealing with it but this is what worked for me..

I really hope u can start piecing things bck together, it is nt a nice situation to be in and I wouldn wish it on my enemies.

Marzipan85 · 29-06-2013 12:03am

Deleted User wrote: »

And seeing other people, including people who've hurt me in the past or hurt people I care about, succeeding in life and getting by so easily.....that just makes me feel sick and want to curl up in a ball and never ever wake up. Life isn't fúcking fair

Felt like this recently towards a person from my sec school days. In girls secondary schools rifts tend to occur for whatever reasons, and groups split apart. Anyway, on of these girls who I 'split' from is obviously in my head a total bitch (but reassessing that now). Anyway, found out that she has a really interesting sounding job (i'm unemployed, SA stopping me from doing anything) and she's engaged, probably married now (and I've never had a relationship). You can dwell on people that hurt you, and get jealous and self-pitying, but at the end of the day, you either have to let go (these people are in your past anyway) or make peace with your enemy and respect that everyone has their problems, and also that you have good qualities that these people will never have, even if they do have a fab job and a fab marriage or whatever. Just thought this might help you feel less angry towards others and yourself.

29-06-2013 12:22am

Marzipan85 wrote: »

Felt like this recently towards a person from my sec school days. In girls secondary schools rifts tend to occur for whatever reasons, and groups split apart. Anyway, on of these girls who I 'split' from is obviously in my head a total bitch (but reassessing that now). Anyway, found out that she has a really interesting sounding job (i'm unemployed, SA stopping me from doing anything) and she's engaged, probably married now (and I've never had a relationship). You can dwell on people that hurt you, and get jealous and self-pitying, but at the end of the day, you either have to let go (these people are in your past anyway) or make peace with your enemy and respect that everyone has their problems,

I know that this is true, sadly it doesn't make it any easier to accept...

and also that you have good qualities that these people will never have, even if they do have a fab job and a fab marriage or whatever. Just thought this might help you feel less angry towards others and yourself.

...but this bit I never can accept to be true. I can't see what qualities I could possbily have that others wouldn't. I can't even see what qualities I have full stop! It basically feels like anything I can do, billions of other people can do better....and that's not a nice position to be in.

I'm sorry, I swear I'm not being negative or awkard just for the sake of it, I know everyone on this thread is trying to be helpful and give really constructive advice.....I just have such a hard time forcing myself to believe that any of it is true or that any of it could possibly apply to me. I'm so used to seeing myself as a failure, a loser, a constant runner-up in life's race......how much therapy and kind words and medication does it take to change that? I really don't know...

SharpshooterTom · 29-06-2013 3:26am

The problem I had is that I was discharged from therapy just liked that. No gradual build up knowing that.

The session before my therapist was talking about going through all the "life traps" and developing techniques through the summer and the next minute she's discharged me, telling me 15 minutes from the end.

Its feels like a case of rejection obviously, maybe she thought I was a hopeless case and we weren't going anywhere.

The positive is that she did say I could come back whenever I wanted, we're not going anywhere this service will always be here for you is what she said.

So I suppose I can see if I can walk on my own now a bit for 6 months and see where it takes me and then after that we can reassess.

murria · 29-06-2013 11:17am

Just read on FB that MovieExtras.ie are urgently looking for new members. They are offeringa €20 discount on 6 months membership. Promo code SIXMONTHS.There are lots of movies and tv productions being made here at the moment. Might be of interest to some of you for something different to try.

My husband is involved in boats and sailing and has had a lot of work from TV and film companies this year.

Forest Demon · 30-06-2013 9:29pm

Its amazing how similar so many peoples experience is with depression. We all think that we should do better and control our mood better and yet for a lot of us the cycle continues. Its consoling to be honest to see that my experiences are similar to others and that I am not the only one. When I am being too hard on myself it reminds me that it is a struggle that I have to deal with and is not always my fault for not being able to control it.

I am not in a bad place at the moment but I know clouds will form again. Trying to sort out a few things in life while I am feeling normal.

Thanks all for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

Drumpot · 01-07-2013 11:47am

murria wrote: »

Just read on FB that MovieExtras.ie are urgently looking for new members. They are offeringa €20 discount on 6 months membership. Promo code SIXMONTHS.There are lots of movies and tv productions being made here at the moment. Might be of interest to some of you for something different to try.

My husband is involved in boats and sailing and has had a lot of work from TV and film companies this year.

Just make sure you upload good photos (particularly your headshot) and that the photos look good on their website. I had great photos uploaded and its taken me weeks (as it might take them a week or two to rate your photo) to get a good photo up!

lkionm · 01-07-2013 4:21pm

Hey.

So this is my first post here. Not sure where to start but read a few pages and mirrors my feelings of emptiness and nothingness which is strange as I have had it for months and didnt even realise. I guess it started with being from a house with an alcoholic in it and I never spoke to anyone about and just bottled it all up for the last 10/15 years. I just blanked everything and that was fine by me, until my father had to be kicked out and through the court system. At the time I had no idea what was happening as it creeps in, this was November.
It is only looking back on the past I realise what a dark hole I was in and I was becoming distant to everyone and just wanting to stay at home in my room, especially to my gf for the last 5 years. I would drink on the weekend to make it go away and be around normal people. Recently I met a girl who I worked with had similiar problems and we became close, this made me happy as I could talk to someone/stranger about it. I do not know why I couldnt talk to my girlfriend about it, I think she might have taught it was her problem or something to do with her.

We are now on a break until I fix myself, which is heartbreaking for me. I am being covered by the grey clouds again and I need to know the first steps to fix it. After looking back I can spot when it starts and I want to be able to feel a genuine happiness about going out doing stuff and being able to go out of my way for my girlfriend instead of being dragged to places ill hate.

This is a massive step for me, I dont know what to do to take the first step to make it go away. I am currently sitting in my room eating pringles for breakfast and I have no intention of showering or moving for the day. Its horrible trying to fight your own brain.

starling · 01-07-2013 6:01pm

lkionm wrote: »

words

Well I would say you've taken the first step already by acknowledging that you're depressed and talking about here so well done for that.

Depression is so sly, it can creep up on you without you realising it. Especially if it's your first "episode" it can be hard to spot the signs.
I really recommend talking to your gp and explaining your symptoms. I'm not saying you HAVE to take medication or talk to a psychologist but your gp can arrange these things and it's worth talkiing them over with him/her to decide together what's best for you.
Also the organisation Al-Anon http://www.al-anon-ireland.org/index.htm might be helpful as they understand and have experience with the difficulties that come from having a family member who is an alocoholic. As far as I know their meetings are free and you don't have to talk if you don't feel like it. You can just listen and you will probably hear things in other peoples stories that you have experienced yourself.
How much have you talked with your gf about this? I don't mean to criticise her or you but it seems like being without her might not be so helpful. She's not responsible fir your mental health of course, but it would probably help you more if she could support you instead of saying "Whatever, get back to me when you're 'fixed' ".

starling · 01-07-2013 6:25pm

^^^^Just to clarify I don't mean to be dissing your gf at all I'm just saying that having people around you who can help support you is very valuable when you are battling depression, it doesn't necessarily mean you are burdening them. Isolation and trying to fight it all on your own can make it ten times harder.

candycock · 01-07-2013 6:43pm

Today has been one of the hardest days in a long time, my motivation for life and things in general is at an all time low, I just don't want to be here anymore, tomoro I'm handing in my notice at work, I can no longer bare the long hours, stress and constant tiredness of work, I think it's also a factor in my depression, I'm 29 and I'm curious to no if there's any centres I could drop in to or see a councillor i live in county Meath.

delthedriver · 01-07-2013 9:42pm

candycock wrote: »

Today has been one of the hardest days in a long time, my motivation for life and things in general is at an all time low, I just don't want to be here anymore, tomoro I'm handing in my notice at work, I can no longer bare the long hours, stress and constant tiredness of work, I think it's also a factor in my depression, I'm 29 and I'm curious to no if there's any centres I could drop in to or see a councillor i live in county Meath.

Before making any radical decisions regarding handing in your notice, I would recommend that you firstly meet with your GP. I understand how working long hours and stress sucked all my energy to the point where I could not get out of bed
A meeting with your GP will assist in putting you on the right road to recovery.
A combination of medication and counselling may help you recover, your GP is best qualified to direct you on these matters.
It would be a shame to quit your job if all you really need is some time out to recover from your illness.
Please don't be hard on yourself, be kind to yourself, you are precious and need to take great care of yourself.
If you are working for a large organisation, they may indeed have an Employment Assistance Programme, whereby they can refer you to an outside Agency who in turn can arrange counselling sessions if necessary.
Take one step at a time.:)
You are only 29 and have a lot of living to do! Life is for living, so look after yourself.
Sincerely,
Del

KingOfFairview · 01-07-2013 9:55pm

Hey folks,

Just a hopefully positive note for some of you, a few months back I talked here about a bad bout I was going through, well, it has passed now and I feel much better. So hang on in there, the same may happen for you even if that doesn't seem likely from your present perspective.

hollster2 · 01-07-2013 10:22pm

Today was such a hard day. The kids and I spent the day in the zoo with there dad before he went into residential care. Its heartbreaking but I know its the best thing for him.

We had such a great day then it was over so quick and back to reality. Hes going for six months. Its hit my 7 year old terrible she was keening all the way home for him. I feel terrible I dont know what to say or explain what is going on.

I suppose its for the best but I just want to curl up into a ball and cry forever

delthedriver · 01-07-2013 10:35pm

hollster2 wrote: »

Today was such a hard day. The kids and I spent the day in the zoo with there dad before he went into residential care. Its heartbreaking but I know its the best thing for him.

We had such a great day then it was over so quick and back to reality. Hes going for six months. Its hit my 7 year old terrible she was keening all the way home for him. I feel terrible I dont know
what to say or explain is going on.

I suppose its for the best but I just want to curl up into a ball and cry forever

Holster,

On behalf of all your friends here on this thread we send you a big hug!

Today has been extremely hard for you , but it is nearly over.

Tomorrow is a new day, and a new start. Please deal with one day at a time.

You are in a safe place and there is no harm in crying your eyes out.

Think of the tears as a cleansing process, releasing the pressure and ultimately helping you feel better and recover.

Onwards and upwards then and deal with tomorrow when it comes.

Tonight you now need to get as much rest as you can in order to face the challenges tomorrow.

Please remember, your hubby is in a safe place,to protect his health, you now need to put yourself first by being kind to yourself, taking care of your health in order that you can deal the daily challenges you and your family will face on a daily basis.

Be brave , live in the now!

Best wishes,

Del:)

hollster2 · 01-07-2013 11:03pm

delthedriver wrote: »

Holster,

On behalf of all your friends here on this thread we send you a big hug!

Today has been extremely hard for you , but it is nearly over.

Tomorrow is a new day, and a new start. Please deal with one day at a time.

You are in a safe place and there is no harm in crying your eyes out.

Think of the tears as a cleansing process, releasing the pressure and ultimately helping you feel better and recover.

Onwards and upwards then and deal with tomorrow when it comes.

Tonight you now need to get as much rest as you can in order to face the challenges tomorrow.

Please remember, your hubby is in a safe place,to protect his health, you now need to put yourself first by being kind to yourself, taking care of your health in order that you can deal the daily challenges you and your family will face on a daily basis.

Be brave , live in the now!

Best wishes,

Del:)[/qu

Thanks del for a great post. All up from here, yes he will be in a great place its all about getting better but ive been concentrating on him and leaving myself to get sick again.

Its time so look after myself and kids and try and be happy.

Thank you again

Hollster

lkionm · 02-07-2013 12:34am

starling wrote: »

Well I would say you've taken the first step already by acknowledging that you're depressed and talking about here so well done for that.
Depression is so sly, it can creep up on you without you realising it. Especially if it's your first "episode" it can be hard to spot the signs.
I really recommend talking to your gp and explaining your symptoms. I'm not saying you HAVE to take medication or talk to a psychologist but your gp can arrange these things and it's worth talkiing them over with him/her to decide together what's best for you.
Also the organisation Al-Anon http://www.al-anon-ireland.org/index.htm might be helpful as they understand and have experience with the difficulties that come from having a family member who is an alocoholic. As far as I know their meetings are free and you don't have to talk if you don't feel like it. You can just listen and you will probably hear things in other peoples stories that you have experienced yourself.
How much have you talked with your gf about this? I don't mean to criticise her or you but it seems like being without her might not be so helpful. She's not responsible fir your mental health of course, but it would probably help you more if she could support you instead of saying "Whatever, get back to me when you're 'fixed' ".

Well we are taking a break because I confided in the other girl and she fancied me and I invited her out to a party. I dont know why I did that when I had someone there to listen to listen to me. She says she is till here for me and I believe that but she is annoyed I couldnt trust her and I was going behind her back. I just didnt know how to bring up the subject as it is rather uncomfortable talking about it to someone who dosent know or who came from a happy family no matter how close you can be to that person. It is amazing what a bit of alcohol can make you do, especially when you are faced with someone telling you a problem you had yourself. She wants time to get her head around that and for me to become happy again and fix my depression and me turning to alcohol. I did tell her everything a few days ago.

I will go to one or 2 of those, it will take a lot of courage though.

Is there any ways ye get out of the hole? Or is that better left to my GP who I will go see for sure.
After admitting I had it, I have felt a bit stronger.

lkionm · 02-07-2013 11:55am

I booked an appointment for the gp tomorrow. I was hoping for today.

Does anyone know what happens in there so I have an idea and don't get cold feet.

Wattle · 02-07-2013 12:08pm

lkionm wrote: »

I booked an appointment for the gp tomorrow. I was hoping for today.

Does anyone know what happens in there so I have an idea and don't get cold feet.

Hopefully you will have a GP that allows you to describe what's going on. You don't always have a lot of time with a GP appointment so try and make sure that you get across the main jist of what you are experiencing e.g. is your sleep disturbed, are you having trouble motivating yourself, do you see hope for the future, are you able to function or not.

The GP may then prescribe some sort of medication to give you a boost to help you function better. He may also suggest counselling as well. It really depends on the GP you get. Incidentally don't be scared to get a second opinion if you are not satisfied with what the doctor has to say. Healthcare professionals have come a long way but you might get a doctor that has no great understanding of mental health issues.

Ruudi_Mentari · 02-07-2013 12:20pm

Forest Demon wrote: »

I am not in a bad place at the moment but I know clouds will form again. Trying to sort out a few things in life while I am feeling normal.

Thanks all for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

At least you accept that, and that each time you do you'll be that bit better prepared.

Personally I never accepted it; but is petering out as I learn to control my emotions a little better and learn to be not be so prone to the ups and downs. Was just a big downer, once so that's progress in itself I guess.. And I believe it's more ups, ultimately now so everyone should just try to hang in there.

delthedriver · 02-07-2013 1:01pm

Wattle wrote: »

Hopefully you will have a GP that allows you to describe what's going on. You don't always have a lot of time with a GP appointment so try and make sure that you get across the main jist of what you are experiencing e.g. is your sleep disturbed, are you having trouble motivating yourself, do you see hope for the future, are you able to function or not.

The GP may then prescribe some sort of medication to give you a boost to help you function better. He may also suggest counselling as well. It really depends on the GP you get. Incidentally don't be scared to get a second opinion if you are not satisfied with what the doctor has to say. Healthcare professionals have come a long way but you might get a doctor that has no great understanding of mental health issues.

Following on from above, in the early days of my GP visits, I prepared in advance of the meeting. I had a sheet of paper with perhaps 12 points which I rattled off to the GP , describing my condition eg. Difficulty sleeping, pounding headache, nausea, low mood, isolation, difficulty concentrating etc........
It made life easier for the GP to get a greater understanding about how I really felt. Your GP is key to getting you back on the road to recovery. The GP may consider referring a patient to a Counsellor, Psychologist, Psychiatrist if necessary.. Do not underestimate the role of the GP.,they have your best interests at heart:)

starling · 02-07-2013 2:03pm

delthedriver wrote: »

Following on from above, in the early days of my GP visits, I prepared in advance of the meeting. I had a sheet of paper with perhaps 12 points which I rattled off to the GP , describing my condition eg. Difficulty sleeping, pounding headache, nausea, low mood, isolation, difficulty concentrating etc........
It made life easier for the GP to get a greater understanding about how I really felt. Your GP is key to getting you back on the road to recovery. The GP may consider referring a patient to a Counsellor, Psychologist, Psychiatrist if necessary.. Do not underestimate the role of the GP.,they have your best interests at heart:)

Yes to this. Writing stuff down whether it's your symptoms or questions you want to ask is a really good idea. I know I've come away from appointments in the past and later thought "Damn I meant to ask about/mention that...." and that's on a good day. Depression can cause forgetfulness so even the best of us can find things slipping our minds.

It's been a week since I posted here about having a flare up and it hasn't gone away. The other morning I was trying to get out of bed and I literally passed out from the pain.
This is two week-long flare ups in the space of about a month I cannot live like this. I'm not proud of this but at least twice this week I've briefly considered just takin all the pills. My next hospital appointment isn't until September. And my mum (who isn't all that sympathetic anyway) has gone away so now I'm in the house alone with enough food for maybe two or three days. I've been offered black Market oxycontin and i'd be tempted if I had the money. Just for the bad times. Agh I just can't help feeling all the self pity.

stop animal cruelty · 02-07-2013 2:11pm

was on a staff night out last night, my god was I awkward. 1st over heard of the girls talking about someone "when ever l go up talking to her its hi how are you then this awkward slience, l hate that" wasnt me she was talking about but l am the same. Everyone was taking photos with eachother and group photos, wasnt in even one of them

l hate being so distent with people. To make things worse l have a crush on my boss, he is so lovely and a real people person but only said 1 or 2 words to eachother last night, l can tell hes uncomfortable in my company cause l so bad socially

even people my own age were all in a gang together laughing & chatting away...was l part of it? oh no, whats new. really couldnt give a **** if today was my last day on earth, fuking fed up with everything & most of all me. outcast.

KingOfFairview · 02-07-2013 2:28pm

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

was on a staff night out last night, my god was I awkward. 1st over heard of the girls talking about someone "when ever l go up talking to her its hi how are you then this awkward slience, l hate that" wasnt me she was talking about but l am the same. Everyone was taking photos with eachother and group photos, wasnt in even one of them l hate being so distent with people. To make things worse l have a crush on my boss, he is so lovely and a real people person but only said 1 or 2 words to eachother last night, l can tell hes uncomfortable in my company cause l so bad socially even people my own age were all in a gang together laughing & chatting away...was l part of it? oh no, whats new. really couldnt give a **** if today was my last day on earth, fuking fed up with everything & most of all me. outcast.

This may be your perception, but its probably not true

Forest Demon · 02-07-2013 2:35pm

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

was on a staff night out last night, my god was I awkward. 1st over heard of the girls talking about someone "when ever l go up talking to her its hi how are you then this awkward slience, l hate that" wasnt me she was talking about but l am the same. Everyone was taking photos with eachother and group photos, wasnt in even one of them l hate being so distent with people. To make things worse l have a crush on my boss, he is so lovely and a real people person but only said 1 or 2 words to eachother last night, l can tell hes uncomfortable in my company cause l so bad socially even people my own age were all in a gang together laughing & chatting away...was l part of it? oh no, whats new. really couldnt give a **** if today was my last day on earth, fuking fed up with everything & most of all me. outcast.

Well done for going. I have had many nights like that and used to get a lot of anxiety before nights out and family occasions. Now I have accepted myself a bit more and just accept that I won't be the most outgoing. Try not to worry about it. Other people will not be half as aware of you are you are of yourself. It helps if there is one or two main people who you click with and just focus on them and be friendly with everyone else. I find that the key to being included more on nights out is making more of an effort at other times during the day. If you are too quiet with people usually in work then they are not going to make an effort on a night out as they don't really know you and they might feel that you don't want to know them more. Its not easy I know but it can get better.

BTW some people can be nasty and not worth knowing. Don't waste your energy on those people no matter how popular they seem.

starling · 02-07-2013 2:44pm

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

was on a staff night out last night, my god was I awkward. 1st over heard of the girls talking about someone "when ever l go up talking to her its hi how are you then this awkward slience, l hate that" wasnt me she was talking about but l am the same. Everyone was taking photos with eachother and group photos, wasnt in even one of them l hate being so distent with people. To make things worse l have a crush on my boss, he is so lovely and a real people person but only said 1 or 2 words to eachother last night, l can tell hes uncomfortable in my company cause l so bad socially even people my own age were all in a gang together laughing & chatting away...was l part of it? oh no, whats new. really couldnt give a **** if today was my last day on earth, fuking fed up with everything & most of all me. outcast.

I find that if you dont know wat to say a compliment always helps. The trick is to do it sincerely. Like if you hate somneone's dress dont say "Ooh I like your dress!" you will come off as beng insincere. But find something you can genuinely say something nice about and then say it. Most people recognise this as a way to have pleasant small talk (kind of like talking about the weather) and then will usually respond in that spirit. If they don't then its probably them, not you

RainyDay · 02-07-2013 3:21pm

delthedriver wrote: »

Following on from above, in the early days of my GP visits, I prepared in advance of the meeting. I had a sheet of paper with perhaps 12 points which I rattled off to the GP , describing my condition eg. Difficulty sleeping, pounding headache, nausea, low mood, isolation, difficulty concentrating etc........
It made life easier for the GP to get a greater understanding about how I really felt. Your GP is key to getting you back on the road to recovery. The GP may consider referring a patient to a Counsellor, Psychologist, Psychiatrist if necessary.. Do not underestimate the role of the GP.,they have your best interests at heart:)

The GP is indeed a key player, and bringing in your list of 12 things sounds like a great idea, to avoid getting flustered at a difficult time.

Unfortunately, you'll also need to have a think about the money side of things before you see the GP. Can you afford to fund counselling yourself, at maybe €75 a session? Or is there low cost counselling available in your area from http://mymind.org or similar? If not, your GP might need to refer you to the local mental health services, which could be run by HSE or St John of God or similar. Unfortunately, there might be delays and waiting lists, so be prepared for a good chat with your GP about urgency.

stop animal cruelty · 02-07-2013 3:42pm

KingOfFairview wrote: »

This may be your perception, but its probably not true

Thats what lv been telling myself from the start, that lm only over thinking too but l feel by now l should be comfortable around them and be able to speak, just seeing them all last night chatty away to eachother and just sitting there...its just embarressing being the one sitting in the corner too nervous/shy to say anything...theres been a good few suitations where lv felt my boss that l fancy felt uncomfortable around me, lm giving off a nervous/bad vibe & pretty sure they have picked it up by now.

KingOfFairview · 02-07-2013 4:00pm

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

Thats what lv been telling myself from the start, that lm only over thinking too but l feel by now l should be comfortable around them and be able to speak, just seeing them all last night chatty away to eachother and just sitting there...its just embarressing being the one sitting in the corner too nervous/shy to say anything...theres been a good few suitations where lv felt my boss that l fancy felt uncomfortable around me, lm giving off a nervous/bad vibe & pretty sure they have picked it up by now.

I'm a pretty outgoing sort and I have to say extroverts like myself rarely have a dim view of shy people, just are often unsure how to best bring them into the social circle. They probably like you but are waiting until you feel comfortable enough to get involved

Wattle · 02-07-2013 4:09pm

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

Thats what lv been telling myself from the start, that lm only over thinking too but l feel by now l should be comfortable around them and be able to speak, just seeing them all last night chatty away to eachother and just sitting there...its just embarressing being the one sitting in the corner too nervous/shy to say anything...theres been a good few suitations where lv felt my boss that l fancy felt uncomfortable around me, lm giving off a nervous/bad vibe & pretty sure they have picked it up by now.

It seems like you're telling yourself internally that you should be able to thrive in these situations. The operative word is 'should'. That kind of thinking is just putting yourself under pressure and actually acts to inhibit you. Perhaps you should write down the messages that you are sending yourself internally. Examine them in the cold light of day and ask yourself if they really are true. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be perfect and nobody in this life is perfect. I think if you can replace those messages with positive one's then your natural personality will emerge. I'm sure you have just as much to say that's as valid as anyone else

starling · 02-07-2013 4:38pm

Wattle wrote: »

It seems like you're telling yourself internally that you should be able to thrive in these situations. The operative word is 'should'. That kind of thinking is just putting yourself under pressure and actually acts to inhibit you. Perhaps you should write down the messages that you are sending yourself internally. Examine them in the cold light of day and ask yourself if they really are true. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be perfect and nobody in this life is perfect. I think if you can replace those messages with positive one's then your natural personality will emerge. I'm sure you have just as much to say that's as valid as anyone else

That is exactly what I was going to say:) Most people tend to judge themselves too harshly and it seems to ne that those of us with depression, anxiety etc do it even more. It can be a big factor in making our mental health worse, holding ourselves to very high, sometimes impossible standards and then chastising ourselves for not meeting them.
In my case I thought that I was aware of this but my psychologist would make a point of interrupting me everytime I said "I should..." or "I shouldn't....." and that was what brought it home to me just how often I did it without even noticing.
Get rid of "should." when you catch yourself thinking or saying it, remind yourself that you are human and it's okay not to be perfect.
If it was a friend of yours talking, would you be saying "you should be better at that, you should be able to do that, etc etc" Probaby not, because we are our own worst critics and someone else can see things in a more understanding way. So be a friend to yourself, give yourself the same kindness and understanding that you would show someone else:)

Drumpot · 02-07-2013 7:22pm

delthedriver wrote: »

Following on from above, in the early days of my GP visits, I prepared in advance of the meeting. I had a sheet of paper with perhaps 12 points which I rattled off to the GP , describing my condition eg. Difficulty sleeping, pounding headache, nausea, low mood, isolation, difficulty concentrating etc........
It made life easier for the GP to get a greater understanding about how I really felt. Your GP is key to getting you back on the road to recovery. The GP may consider referring a patient to a Counsellor, Psychologist, Psychiatrist if necessary.. Do not underestimate the role of the GP.,they have your best interests at heart:)

Ha, I thought I was reading something I had written under the guise of a different username (perhaps Im Tyler Durden during the day and don't even know it!). Im a great person for the lists of things wrong with me (now that's a list!).

One thing I want to point out to everybody reading here is that your G.P. should always be a consideration if you feel isolated, but like anything else in your life, you have to be comfortable with your G.P. and confident that they will take your concerns seriously.

I have written it in here already, but in summary, my relationship with my G.P. had gone stale. In his defence I was driving him mad because I would be in nearly every other week and I think I made him feel inadequate because while medication helped stem the pain for awhile, I soon ended up in bits. I genuinely think he felt bad because he couldn't "fix" me and at the end of our "relationship" I felt like a nut wasting his time and as such I began to dread going into him no matter how bad I felt.

I changed doctors (don't be afraid to change if you are not comfortable with your existing G.P.) and perhaps I have been fortunate, but he took his time getting to know me (not just symptoms today), he spoke to me for nearly 40mins the first time I met him and he was able to take a completely fresh perspective on my situation (without the driving him mad baggage I left with my previous doctor).

There were several positives for changing doctors (if you get some of these from your existing G.P. then you may already have the professional to help guide you!):

I was taking my own health in my hands and choosing to change doctors to try to help myself. From a psychological point of view I think this empowered me. The most important thing was that I wasn't accepting the disappointing relationship that I had with my doctor and this was me actually valuing my right to feel better and most importantly doing something about it instead of just wishing it would happen naturally.
My new G.P. had no preconception or resentments or frustrations about me as a patient and since I was able to give him a fair, honest, detailed history of where I was coming from, he was able to look at it with a different pair of eyes.
My new G.P. was more willing to try new things (at one stage my old G.P. was getting so upset he said "what do you want me to do"?).
I was able to be more honest and clear with my new G.P. because I wasn't embarrassed or worried that he would judge me or think I was a hypochondriac.
This is an important one, I put my absolute faith in the new G.P. (recommended by my Aunty). I did exactly what he recommended and was willing to work with him (which he encouraged) as opposed to be just instructed by him. I felt like he literally had my back and was prepared to take my hand and try to find a proper resolution to the way I was feeling.
I used to go into my previous G.P. with lists of my mood/feelings/pain etc and while I couldn't say for certain, I always felt that he was a bit annoyed sometimes ("you again"). My new G.P. actively encourage it and never hurries me out the door

Im sure there's a few more positives that worked for me, but I just wanted to write this if anybody dreaded appointments with their doctor for any reason. I don't necessarily blame my previous doctor, but in my case a fresh start was good for everybody!

When I started this I was just going to say "consider changing G.P. if your not happy" and imagined this being my shortest post ever!! That waffle gene always gets the better of me!

Drumpot · 02-07-2013 7:42pm

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

Thats what lv been telling myself from the start, that lm only over thinking too but l feel by now l should be comfortable around them and be able to speak, just seeing them all last night chatty away to eachother and just sitting there...its just embarressing being the one sitting in the corner too nervous/shy to say anything...theres been a good few suitations where lv felt my boss that l fancy felt uncomfortable around me, lm giving off a nervous/bad vibe & pretty sure they have picked it up by now.

I have made new friends and feel the exact same way. I am actually normally quite extravert but feel very vulnerable right not and I am going through a lot of emotional changes.

But the one thing I have tried to do is not imagine what they are thinking and just try to feel ok around them. This entails being comfortable with contributing nothing other then my presence. I am learning to not small chat when I don't feel like it. I used to be the "fluffer" of the group, the person who would make sure any uncomfortable silences were filled with jokes or my waffle. I can tell you I still sometimes get uncomfortable when I am around certain groups of people and there are silences, but one thing I don't do anymore is put pressure on myself to compensate for the lack of conversation.

The funny thing is that a good friend gave me some great advice when I used to get paranoid if I didn't "perform" in a social situation as I felt I should - "Do you think that the person or people you were talking to agonises as much about you not talking or being entertaining as much as you get upset about it?". He went further and said "Do you think that made or broke their night ?". He went further and said "Do you think they were thinking about your lack of "entertainment value" later on that night or the next day?" . . And I obviously said "probably not" to which he said , well why are you spending so much time worrying about something that nobody else even wastes a minute on ?

Now this is a friend who has also been through it all (emotionally - depression etc) so they weren't being "smart", they were speaking from experience and how they learned to cope with it. Sounds simple when they say it but learning how to practise it has proven to be much more difficult. Like I have said in many threads, CBT has helped me conquer challenges that I once thought were beyond me and in many cases the solutions has been as simple as learning to change my perception on the exact same scenarios and learning to DO something about it instead of simply imagining where I would prefer to be.

delthedriver · 02-07-2013 7:43pm

Drumpot wrote: »

Ha, I thought I was reading something I had written under the guise of a different username (perhaps Im Tyler Durden during the day and don't even know it!). Im a great person for the lists of things wrong with me (now that's a list!).

One thing I want to point out to everybody reading here is that your G.P. should always be a consideration if you feel isolated, but like anything else in your life, you have to be comfortable with your G.P. and confident that they will take your concerns seriously.

I have written it in here already, but in summary, my relationship with my G.P. had gone stale. In his defence I was driving him mad because I would be in nearly every other week and I think I made him feel inadequate because while medication helped stem the pain for awhile, I soon ended up in bits. I genuinely think he felt bad because he couldn't "fix" me and as such at the end of our "relationship" I felt like a nut wasting his time and as such I began to dread going into him no matter how bad I felt.

I changed doctors (don't be afraid to change if you are not comfortable with your existing G.P.) and perhaps I have been fortunate, but he took his time getting to know me (not just symptoms today), he spoke to me for nearly 40mins the first time I met him and he was able to take a completely fresh perspective on my situation (without the driving him mad baggage I left with my previous doctor).

There were several positives for changing doctors.
I was taking my own health in my hands and choosing to change doctors to try to help myself. From a psychological point of view I think this empowered me. The most important thing was that I wasn't accepting the disappointing relationship that I had with my doctor and this was me actually valuing my right to feel better.

My new G.P. had no preconception or resentments or frustrations about me as a patient and since I was able to give him a fair, honest, detailed history of where I was coming from, he was able to look at it with a different pair of eyes.

My new G.P. was more willing to try new things (at one stage my old G.P. was getting so upset he said "what do you want me to do"?).

I was able to be more honest and clear with my new G.P. because I wasn't embarrassed or worried that he would judge me or think I was a hypochondriac.

This is an important one, I put my absolute faith in the new G.P. (recommended by my Aunty). I did exactly what he recommended and was willing to work with him (which he encouraged) as opposed to be just instructed by him

I used to go into my previous G.P. with lists of my mood/feelings/pain etc and while I couldn't say for certain, I always felt that he was a bit annoyed sometimes ("you again"). My new G.P. actively encourage it and never hurries me out the door

Im sure there's a few more positives that worked for me, but I just wanted to write this if anybody dreaded appointments with their doctor for any reason. I don't necessarily blame my previous doctor, but in my case a fresh start was good for everybody!

When I started this I was just going to say "consider changing G.P. if your not happy" and imagined this being my shortest post ever!! That waffle gene always gets the better of me!

Drumpot,

I agree totally with you. No one should be afraid to consider changing GP, Counsellor, or Psychiatrist. If one is unhappy with the relationship or lack of progress, it is important for one's health to seek out the best possible treatment or attention .

Apologies I don't understand the reference to Tyler Durden

Is it a case of great minds think alike?

I merely expressed my recognition of the earliest meeting with my GP who was extremely generous with her time and yet worked in an extremely busy practice. I think it goes back to my business life where time was everything, I always had a habit of creating a list or agenda items before meeting my clients. Simply a case of good time management.:)

Wattle · 02-07-2013 8:31pm

Drumpot wrote: »

I have made new friends and feel the exact same way. I am actually normally quite extravert but feel very vulnerable right not and I am going through a lot of emotional changes.

But the one thing I have tried to do is not imagine what they are thinking and just try to feel ok around them. This entails being comfortable with contributing nothing other then my presence. I am learning to not small chat when I don't feel like it. I used to be the "fluffer" of the group, the person who would make sure any uncomfortable silences were filled with jokes or my waffle. I can tell you I still sometimes get uncomfortable when I am around certain groups of people and there are silences, but one thing I don't do anymore is put pressure on myself to compensate for the lack of conversation.

The funny thing is that a good friend gave me some great advice when I used to get paranoid if I didn't "perform" in a social situation as I felt I should - "Do you think that the person or people you were talking to agonises as much about you not talking or being entertaining as much as you get upset about it?". He went further and said "Do you think that made or broke their night ?". He went further and said "Do you think they were thinking about your lack of "entertainment value" later on that night or the next day?" . . And I obviously said "probably not" to which he said , well why are you spending so much time worrying about something that nobody else even wastes a minute on ?

Now this is a friend who has also been through it all (emotionally - depression etc) so they weren't being "smart", they were speaking from experience and how they learned to cope with it. Sounds simple when they say it but learning how to practise it has proven to be much more difficult. Like I have said in many threads, CBT has helped me conquer challenges that I once thought were beyond me and in many cases the solutions has been as simple as learning to change my perception on the exact same scenarios and learning to DO something about it instead of simply imagining where I would prefer to be.

Good points there Drumpot. People actually think about us far less than we realise. It's just that sometimes we feel so sensitive and uncomfortable in some situations that we think that everybody notices.

Wanderer2010 · 02-07-2013 8:47pm

Feeling it really bad today, the kind of depression that saps all the color out of you and made me a zombie at work, just no motivation, energy or hope. Tried to break down my work day into one hour chunks just to get through it, and that only barely worked, had to gather myself twice in the bathroom just to push on. Then when I tried to join in with work chat I just stumbled over my words and blushed and ended up feeling/looking foolish and awkward so I gave up hence felt even worse.

I know many people feel like this at work but its hard to notice it when you experience it surrounded by all the happy go lucky socially skilled people, Im just hoping tomorrow will be a bit better and not to be so hard on myself.

stop animal cruelty · 02-07-2013 8:55pm

Thanks to all who replied to me, ye have lifted my mood...l guess l am being too hard on myself, l need to stop imagineing what people are saying & thinking about me...think lm going to start a psycotherapist, too much **** runs thru my head....

delthedriver · 02-07-2013 10:44pm

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

Thanks to all who replied to me, ye have lifted my mood...l guess l am being too hard on myself, l need to stop imagineing what people are saying & thinking about me...think lm going to start a psycotherapist, too much **** runs thru my head....

SAC,

You are a wonderful person! Please be very kind to yourself.
You are young, have a nice job, so get out there and enjoy life.
Life is for living, enjoy every day.

Best Wishes

D.

stop animal cruelty · 02-07-2013 10:58pm

delthedriver wrote: »

SAC,

You are a wonderful person! Please be very kind to yourself.
You are young, have a nice job, so get out there and enjoy life.
Life is for living, enjoy every day.

Best Wishes

D.

haha l dunno about being wonderful, but thanks much for that little message

Drumpot · 03-07-2013 11:09am

delthedriver wrote: »

Apologies I don't understand the reference to Tyler Durden
Is it a case of great minds think alike?

.:)

That is one way of putting it . . :P

Tyler Durden was a character in Fight club. If you haven't seen the movie I wont explain it anymore unless you say you will definitely wont watch it as my explanation would ruin the enjoyment of one of the greatest roles of cinema history (in my view) which was in easily one of the greatest movies of modern time (on IMDB - 750k votes and it gets 8.9/10! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0137523/ ) .

Incidentally for anybody who has seen the movie the fact that you have your location down as several different places at once is even more fitting with the character. . God I want to watch that movie right now ! ! !

Drumpot · 03-07-2013 11:47am

Anyways, since Im here already just wanted to give an update to anybody who feels there is no way out of depression , feeling down, feeling lonely or feeling useless.

I have posted my story here as much for myself as I have for others (wont pretend to be a saint by any stretch). I haven't won the lotto, gotten a better job, changed friends, changed families, moved country or made any radical changes in my life (did change G.P. but that's about as crazy as its gotten so far), but I have changed my way of thinking which has completely changed my life.

I smile as I write this because I am in the middle of a Sh*t storm in certain aspects of my life and I am coping in a way I never thought possible. I am able to put it into context in my life. I have , through a lot of soul searching and trying to see myself and my life for what it is, been able to bring a little balance to my life. This has made me a better husband, father, son, business owner, adviser, friend and all round person. This in turn (and personally more important) has helped me have a better opinion of myself, given me some confidence and helped me deal with the negative aspects of my life much better.

I don't automatically resign myself to failure or a life of misery. If I get a win or something good happens, I don't automatically dread the fact that this happy moment will no doubt be gone soon when something else bad happens. I can enjoy friends and familys (and my children more so) company and don't dread social situations as much as I used to. .

I could go on, but think theres enough in this for hopefully somebody to get something from it. The thing is that I had been searching for along time (I would say at least 15 years) for my solution, but one of the biggest things holding me back was myself. I was looking in the wrong places. I was like a US soldier looking for WMD in Iraq. I did not have the KNOWLEDGE or TRAINING within myself to be able to help find balance on my own. I was scared that I was simply mad, a weirdo or worst still just somebody who was lazy (and didn't deserve help).

I have no connection with CBT other then as a patient so I am not promoting it for any personal gain. I just wish everybody tried a little bit of it (as I don't know one person who couldn't benefit from it). Trying and reading it was not enough (and I cant stress this enough). I committed to it. Like I committed to a plan of action from my new doctor. I didn't just think "well I hope to god this works" and then wait for something to happen. I worked with the programme and actively tried to practise some of its very basic/sensible tips. . I want to say this again . . I ACTIVELY TOOK PART IN MY REHABILITATION AND DIDNT WAIT FOR SOMEBODY/SOMETHING TO FIX ME.

For example (this is brief, please don't judge it on this alone!), part of CBT tries to get you to work towards having three things (multiple times) each day - Closeness, Achievement, Enjoyment. The goal is to eventually have these positive experiences more then the negative experiences. Now I will pick "achievement" and say this is something we can all do even as habit. Open a door for an old lady. Make a cup of tea for your wife/mother etc. Clean your room/house/car. It doesn't specifically have to be selfless (eg clean up something that you benefit from) but something that makes you feel good about yourself.

Now I didn't start doing things and changing my habits and all of a sudden my life has been great. I kept forgetting some of the basic tools CBT teaches you and found when I was frustrated that I was like "f*ckin CBT makes things sound so simple, but its not". That was and still is part of my learning curve, but I have seen the benefits from following the course (not following it strictly, but consistently trying to get back to basics).

It hasn't been my only training. I goto regular meetings with like minded people (support groups) even if I don't feel like it. Because it grounds me and reminds me where I have come from. It also means when I am back in the room (when I am feeling down) I have some sort of attachment with the group (ie I haven't lost touch during the good moments). I also keep my doctor updated on how I am (when I go into him which is far less frequent). I speak to my wife more about my feelings (I said to her on Monday "I feel sad", that was enough for me to feel a bit better).

I think stories of people who have learned to get through depression are just as important for people in it trying to tell their story. I am not fixed, I do not always feel good. But I am currently experiencing things in my life that I never thought possible.

I know that when I was feeling low, vulnerable, lonely and useless that getting out of bed was an "achievement". I know if I was reading what I am writing now, this time last year, I would be cursing the poster and already resigned to the fact that it would work for most people but probably not me. If you can even try to understand the idea that what you think and how you perceive the world around you can transform the enjoyment of your life, you will of started the process of giving yourself a chance.

I'm off to spend 5 mins playing with my dogs. I work for myself and have loads of work to do and I am under serious pressure to get business on my books. But do you know what . . Nobody is going to die if I spend those 5 or 10 mins of ENJOYMENT/CLOSENESS with my dogs. It will relax me, make me happy and I will be more productive in the afternoon. This time last year I would simply spend most of the day with my hands in my head thinking about all the things I wished I had done , all the things I wanted to do and lamenting all the things I will miss out on (including playing with my dogs) as a result of my perceived inadequacy/laziness.

lkionm · 03-07-2013 6:45pm

Thanks for the advice guys.

Went to the GP today, with the list. I would have definitely forgotten. The good thing was, he was the family GP so he knew enough about my family dynamic which was good as he knows my father and mother personally so he knew what I was on about and the background from where it started so he knew more than I needed to tell him.

He gave me lexapro for a week and to come back after a week and a number for a psychotherapist, Probably gonna do that every second week at around 60ish euro. I had planned on giving up drinking til I was happy to enjoy a beer so 60 is what I would spend on a night out anyway so its a much better investment.

I know myself where it comes from so what do they do there?

hollster2 · 03-07-2013 8:08pm

Bad day today

partners gone into residential care today. Its so heartbreaking hes not here even to say goodnight to the kids. I miss his voice already. All im doing is crying I cant snap out of it everytime I think of him.

roseybear · 03-07-2013 9:24pm

Just not in a great place.. feel very on edge, little things are getting me really worked up and angry then dwn in to a depressed mood. In work tomorrow and not on my ususl ward because its quiet so gtting sent elsewhere which has me even more worked up. Been thinking of packing in the job cause I dnt like how the sydtem works, it really effects my mental wellbeing. Something else comes along im gne. And I know iv upset my mam today but I cant say anything, apology r orherwise causr il gt set off and I have 2 days of 13hr.shifts ahead of me so cant go in to work in an even worse state

delthedriver · 03-07-2013 10:22pm

Drumpot wrote: »

That is one way of putting it . . :P

Tyler Durden was a character in Fight club. If you haven't seen the movie I wont explain it anymore unless you say you will definitely wont watch it as my explanation would ruin the enjoyment of one of the greatest roles of cinema history (in my view) which was in easily one of the greatest movies of modern time (on IMDB - 750k votes and it gets 8.9/10! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0137523/ ) .

Incidentally for anybody who has seen the movie the fact that you have your location down as several different places at once is even more fitting with the character. . God I want to watch that movie right now ! ! !

Thanks for the info. Never heard of the movie , will check out when I get a chance:)

LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

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