The 'Funny (ha, ha)' side of religion

RikuoAmero · 24-11-2014 7:42pm

Worztron wrote: »

What I would love to see happen is they knock, ask the question, and the guy pulls out a birth cert/document showing legal change of name and says "Hi, my name is Jesus! Great, you've found me!"

AstraMonti · 25-11-2014 3:17pm

Nice work god! (destroyed by lightning)

10383102_792766940761550_8489108369218480752_n.jpg?oh=03675f389e9b00fd78bb41948043cae6&oe=5518E842&__gda__=1427492858_0fc7e510f2bc54a90ca8dda8091fa773

LeinsterDub · 25-11-2014 5:50pm

AstraMonti wrote: »

Nice work god! (destroyed by lightning)

Praise Thor!

Brian Shanahan · 25-11-2014 7:34pm

LeinsterDub wrote: »

Praise Thor!

Odin here, I am pleased with your worship of my creation. Much thanks.

Worztron · 25-11-2014 8:22pm

Yawlboy · 26-11-2014 11:30am

Very interesting Comic titled - How to Suck at your religion http://theoatmeal.com/comics/religion

RikuoAmero · 26-11-2014 11:41am

Yawlboy wrote: »

Very interesting Comic titled - How to Suck at your religion http://theoatmeal.com/comics/religion

Funniest thing I've seen in a while, and yet soooooo right.

Doctor DooM · 26-11-2014 11:53am

Worztron wrote: »

Hmm.

Possible Spider-Man religion pros and cons:

Pro:

The more sciencey thou are the higher chance you will end up with improbably hot women, possibly models or actresses.

Con:

The more thou care about someone the more chance they will be shot or die in a plane crash.

Pro:

Ye shall have and use superpowers. Sometimes responsibly.

Con:

Ye shall mope on top of buildings about how terrible it is to have super powers.

Pro:

Thou shall create miracles of science, like web fluid and GPS like tracking in the 60s.

Con:

Ye shall use these miracles to shoot goo in peoples faces while dressed in long johns.

Hmmm....

CramCycle · 26-11-2014 12:08pm

Doctor DooM wrote: »

Con:

Ye shall use these miracles to shoot goo in peoples faces while dressed in long johns.

Hmmm....

How is that a con? That was an atypical Thursday night when I was in college.

AstraMonti · 26-11-2014 12:54pm

PopePalpatine · 26-11-2014 1:20pm

Doctor DooM wrote: »

Hmm.

Possible Spider-Man religion pros and cons:

Pro:

The more sciencey thou are the higher chance you will end up with improbably hot women, possibly models or actresses.

Con:

The more thou care about someone the more chance they will be shot or die in a plane crash.

Pro:

Ye shall have and use superpowers. Sometimes responsibly.

Con:

Ye shall mope on top of buildings about how terrible it is to have super powers.

Pro:

Thou shall create miracles of science, like web fluid and GPS like tracking in the 60s.

Con:

Ye shall use these miracles to shoot goo in peoples faces while dressed in long johns.

Hmmm....

Con: The movies which you star in are ****e. :pac:

Worztron · 26-11-2014 7:10pm

obplayer · 27-11-2014 3:48am

I know you may have seen this but it's short and funny.

robindch · 27-11-2014 3:52pm

God speaks to a schizophrenic, atheistic programmer who designs and codes TempleOS.

http://motherboard.vice.com/read/gods-lonely-programmer

Here's the OS charter:

TempleOS is God's official temple. Just like Solomon's temple, this is a community focal point where offerings are made and God's oracle is consulted.
God said 640x480 16 color graphics is a covenant like circumcision. Children will do offerings. Think of 16 colors like the Simpson's cartoons.
God said to use a single audio voice -- a single frequency with waveforms.
God said His temple must be perfect. We don't think twice about breaking compatibility.
The vision is the same usage model and niche as the Commodore 64 -- a non-networked, simple machine where programming was the goal, not just a means to an end. However, it is modern, 64-bit and multi-cored. It is special purpose, not general purpose, so some things it will not do. Also, it's a kayak, not a Titanic.
We do not put any hooks for future changes. "Perfect" means we always act as though it is final, for all time. Microsoft allowed the Windows BMP file format to adapt to the future and it became grotesque.
Low line count is the highest good, so it is easy to learn the whole thing. Users should see the light at the end of the tunnel. One file system, for example, is better than many file systems.
There is a limit of 100,000 lines of code for all time, not including applications and demos. Code comments count, however. 3rd party libraries are banned because they circumvent the intent of this limit. The vision is a Commodore 64 ROM -- a fixed core API that is the only dependency of applications. Currently, there are 80,668 lines of code.
Minimal abstraction is a goal. Sheep are fools. They always respect a design that is more complicated than another. Any genius can make it complicated. Like in physics, it takes a supra-genius to make it simple.
One platform. x86_64 PC compatibles.
One driver for each class of device. Limited exceptions are allowed. With divergent device capabilities, it is a nightmare for user applications and what is gained? A three button mouse is like a leg you cannot put weight on.
Ring-0-only. Everything runs in kernel mode, including user applications.
Full access to everything. All memory, I/O ports, instructions, and similar things must never be off-limits. All functions, variables and class members will be accessible. There are no C++ public/private protections and all functions, even secondary ones in the kernel, can be called.
Single-address-map as though paging is not used. Long mode requires paging, however, so the nearest thing is keeping all memory identity-mapped.
No networking, so malware is not an issue.
No encryption or passwords. Files are compressed, not encrypted.
Free and public domain.
100% open source with all source included.
Documents are not for printing. They're dynamic, intended for the screen.
Just one 8x8 fixed-width font. No Unicode, just Extended ASCII.
No multimedia. Sounds and images will be primarily calculated in real-time, not fetched from storage.

Minimal abstraction isn't a bad thing. The rest is a little special.

Worztron · 27-11-2014 8:30pm

Worztron · 28-11-2014 3:19pm

RikuoAmero · 28-11-2014 6:49pm

Worztron wrote: »

snip

As I was scrolling down the page, I saw the speech balloon. I just KNEW who the guy would be before I had actually seen it. Anyone else?

Worztron · 28-11-2014 9:54pm

Worztron · 29-11-2014 10:01am

Delirium · 29-11-2014 11:31am

Worztron · 29-11-2014 11:32am

RikuoAmero · 29-11-2014 11:51am

SW wrote: »

Well, that didn't take long...

Worztron · 30-11-2014 12:00pm

DazMarz · 30-11-2014 5:29pm

Case closed:

smacl · 01-12-2014 11:02am

Bandana boy · 01-12-2014 12:32pm

smacl wrote: »

Why the Irish Elk became extinct

i suspect it had more to do with how tasty it was

Worztron · 01-12-2014 2:14pm

DazMarz · 01-12-2014 3:59pm

Hmmmmmmmm... About that breeding programme, Noah...

Orion · 01-12-2014 6:09pm

Mark Hamill · 01-12-2014 10:29pm

I expect to be getting one or two of these over the next few weeks :pac:

CramCycle · 02-12-2014 11:24am

Mark Hamill wrote: »

I expect to be getting one or two of these over the next few weeks :pac:

Think I'll make my own and just replace
"You Heathen"

with

"...because we both know you don't believe in any of that Religious stuff and going to mass once every three years (because your not hungover and at your in-laws) doesn't change that."

Worztron · 02-12-2014 7:02pm

Worztron · 02-12-2014 9:35pm

SW wrote: »

"May the force be with you" "and also with you"

uberhumor.com/may-the-force-be-with-you-and-also-with-you

TheChizler · 03-12-2014 10:47am

Worztron wrote: »

"May the force be with you" "and also with you"

http://uberhumor.com/may-the-force-be-with-you-and-also-with-you?

Without the humour aspect I wouldn't be able to figure out if that's right or not from the Star Wars point of view, it really fits.

On the bright side I can't remember what the first half should be from the RCC POV.

Worztron · 03-12-2014 7:20pm

Src: http://chuckleaduck.com/comic/clocks-ticking/

RikuoAmero · 03-12-2014 7:33pm

Worztron wrote: »

snip

Inevitably Satan would have to ask God "Why the f*ck did you help them screw up the planet?"

Worztron · 03-12-2014 8:37pm

seamus · 04-12-2014 2:11am

So my wife brings the two year old daughter over to the crib she put out yesterday and asks her if she knows what's in the crib.

Apparently the crib represents when baby Cheese was visited by baa baa black sheep and the 3 blind mice.

I think we're going to stick with that version from now on.

shruikan2553 · 04-12-2014 2:24am

seamus wrote: »

So my wife brings the two year old daughter over to the crib she put out yesterday and asks her if she knows what's in the crib.

Apparently the crib represents when baby Cheese was visited by baa baa black sheep and the 3 blind mice.

I think we're going to stick with that version from now on.

Your crib wouldnt happen to look like this would it?

shruikan2553 · 04-12-2014 2:31am

SW wrote: »

jesus lightsaber

Needs to be merged with this to find who is the true dark lord of the religions

EDIT: Sorry about the size, no idea how to fix it.

Skrynesaver · 04-12-2014 9:24am

Nut job believes biblical law should permeate every facet of life...

Response from Charles Forsythe on G+
Mission accomplished: programming code is already like the Bible.

-- A lot of code was written in a different era which you have to understand in order to interpret it
-- No one know who wrote a lot of it
-- A lot of it makes no sense unless paired with oral tradition
-- A lot of it -- even the terrible parts -- has been preserved by people who copied it letter-for-letter without understanding why it was written in the first place
-- People have vicious arguments over the "right" way to do things
-- Telling the truth to management can get you crucified
-- Whenever you ask "why is anyone still using this" the answer is always about money
-- There are obvious design changes throughout the canon

Delirium · 04-12-2014 9:43am

AstraMonti · 04-12-2014 4:01pm

Brian Shanahan · 04-12-2014 4:50pm

AstraMonti wrote: »

Vlad is clearly disturbed by the feelings another man bending down to groinal range and kissing him stirs within his loins. With his homophobic platform (half his manifesto for government) his latent homosexuality is a horrific curse.

PopePalpatine · 04-12-2014 5:09pm

Brian Shanahan wrote: »

Vlad is clearly disturbed by the feelings another man bending down to groinal range and kissing him stirs within his loins. With his homophobic platform (half his manifesto for government) his latent homosexuality is a horrific curse.

Shh...don't tell the Putinbots in the Ukraine thread!

Mr. CooL ICE · 04-12-2014 6:19pm

It's like he is afraid the priests will immediately start Putin out

Worztron · 04-12-2014 7:28pm

Worztron · 04-12-2014 9:27pm

Src: http://uberhumor.com/this-popped-up-on-my-facebook-feed-today-just-odd

obplayer · 04-12-2014 10:50pm

Priest tells primary school pupils as young as seven that Father Christmas ISN'T REAL

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...SN-T-REAL.html

The 'Funny (ha, ha)' side of religion

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