I swear I'm not trolling...

EileenG · 28-03-2012 2:20pm #1

I know this is going to sound bizarre, but I really do need to know.

I've written a book with a strong romance element and some sex which has been accepted by a big American publisher. I've signed away my first born in the contract, the publication date is set for June, and I'm editing.

My editor is unhappy with one scene, where the hero and heroine have a steamy phone call. She thinks that my hero's er - response time? - is too fast, and not something a normal man could manage.

My hero is 34 years old, fit, 7% bodyfat, former military, and does heavy deadlifts and ATG squats to failure. Single, no health problems.

What do you guys think is the FASTEST that my hero could go from "Not interested" to "Done"?

I need to get the edits back by the weekend, so I'd really appreciate if you can give a quick answer.

racso1975 · 28-03-2012 2:25pm

Cool question and best of luck with the book!!!

As somebody who has a "friend" that once has a premature ejaculation incident it can happen very very quickly

In all honesty if a man is not trying to delay the onset of cumming i'd say he could be wrapped up in under a minute

Edit: why did i respond first cause i know i'll be lambasted

FoxT · 28-03-2012 2:30pm

I'd agree with racso. However, the 'second coming', if req'd would definitely take a bit of time after that, at least 15 mins I'm guessing.

OP - Any chance you'd post this in AH? Things a bit quiet there, lately

g'em · 28-03-2012 2:36pm

FoxT wrote: »

OP - Any chance you'd post this in AH? Things a bit quiet there, lately

I'll personally look after it!!* I'm also genuinely curious about the responses (no pun intended

)

EDIT: * I mean the thread, the THREAD, not.. you know... ah dammit....

Hanley · 28-03-2012 2:41pm

A lot will depend on tekkers really. The more... eh… practice the gent has had, the better his technique will be. Better technique means better movement efficiency and maximal muscle fibre recruitment leading to a more powerful and eh… faster finish.

Assuming perfect… playing… conditions, and a solid… eh... training partner… I think 60-90 seconds is doable.

EDIT: But eh speaking from experience... I dunno sustained performance for eh anything from 1-2 hours is normal if you don't have to ehh... train solo...

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar · 28-03-2012 2:43pm

maybe you should enable anonymous posting on nutrition&diet for a few hours

Gummy Panda · 28-03-2012 2:44pm

Depends if he had stim díck from taking a pre-workout

Also I assume phone sex would take awhile due to no visual aspect

COH · 28-03-2012 2:48pm

Is he strong off the ground or strong at lockout on his deadlifts? If its the latter you can deduce that, owing to an impressively strong thrust pattern, and provided that his set up and aim are correct.. he could probably fire that bad boy out in 5 solid reps depending on his general physical preparedness and eagerness to compete

Tefral · 28-03-2012 2:49pm

EileenG wrote: »

I know this is going to sound bizarre, but I really do need to know.

I've written a book with a strong romance element and some sex which has been accepted by a big American publisher. I've signed away my first born in the contract, the publication date is set for June, and I'm editing.

My editor is unhappy with one scene, where the hero and heroine have a steamy phone call. She thinks that my hero's er - response time? - is too fast, and not something a normal man could manage.

My hero is 34 years old, fit, 7% bodyfat, former military, and does heavy deadlifts and ATG squats to failure. Single, no health problems.

What do you guys think is the FASTEST that my hero could go from "Not interested" to "Done"?

I need to get the edits back by the weekend, so I'd really appreciate if you can give a quick answer.

This is scary:

"Alfred Kinsey in the 1950s demonstrated that three quarters of men ejaculate within two minutes of penetration in over half of their sexual encounters"

Reference: Kinsey, Alfred (1948), Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, W. B. Saunders Co

Zamboni · 28-03-2012 2:51pm

Reverse psychology would play into it - if you tried to do it under 60 - 90 seconds you'd have no chance.

As an aside, the sheer scope for inyourendo on this thread is potentially limitless.

Zamboni · 28-03-2012 2:52pm

cronin_j wrote: »

This is scary:

"Alfred Kinsey in the 1950s demonstrated that three quarters of men ejaculate within two minutes of penetration in over half of their sexual encounters"

Reference: Kinsey, Alfred (1948), Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, W. B. Saunders Co

That was 1948.
A long time before men were supposed to care about how the woman got on.

Tefral · 28-03-2012 2:57pm

Zamboni wrote: »

That was 1948.
A long time before men were supposed to care about how the woman got on.

Wouldnt matter if they had to or not though would it. The question was to see the fastest response time..

Plus if your at the other end of a phone, youve only got to worry about yourself

leggit · 28-03-2012 2:59pm

21 seconds

COH · 28-03-2012 3:08pm

Give L a call, say 'Hi this is Lydia' and you'll probably have a definitive answer

Jimmy Bottlehead · 28-03-2012 3:12pm

**** it, I'll chip in too.

From "Nope, nothing happening" to "Right I'm off to sleep" would at absolute FASTEST be 90-120 seconds. That would be an irregular effort and would take a man with a hardened gaze, a steely grip and some serious determination though :P

EileenG · 28-03-2012 3:16pm

He's on the other end of the phone, so he's not holding back on her account. Plus, he rang her, so he knew what way the call was going to go. He wasn't thnking about his tax returns at the start of the call.

EileenG · 28-03-2012 3:18pm

FoxT wrote: »

OP - Any chance you'd post this in AH? Things a bit quiet there, lately

I'm looking for answers from people who are fit and lift hard. That makes a difference to T levels and stuff like that.

Hanley · 28-03-2012 3:26pm

EileenG wrote: »

I'm looking for answers from people who are fit and lift hard. That makes a difference to T levels and stuff like that.

T = telephone?

Hanley · 28-03-2012 3:28pm

Hold on, are we allow use chalk in this scenario for a better grip!?

EileenG · 28-03-2012 3:32pm

Hanley wrote: »

T = telephone?

T = Testosterone. Heavy squats = high testosterone levels = fast response time. Just not right after the gym, of course.

cc87 · 28-03-2012 3:32pm

Surely how long since his last session would have to be taken into account?? Did he allow adequate time for to replenish his stores or was it too long and they were...ehh.....overflowing??

EileenG · 28-03-2012 3:33pm

Hanley wrote: »

Hold on, are we allow use chalk in this scenario for a better grip!?

If you really need it. Personally, I'd have thought that applying chalk would slow things down (or even end them completely).

Zamboni · 28-03-2012 3:36pm

EileenG wrote: »

I'm looking for answers from people who are fit and lift hard. That makes a difference to T levels and stuff like that.

What response time did you initially put down?

EileenG · 28-03-2012 3:40pm

I didn't give a specific time (I don't measure body parts either) but the editor thought he was too quick. Not according to the answers I'm getting here.

Hanley · 28-03-2012 3:48pm

EileenG wrote: »

I didn't give a specific time (I don't measure body parts either) but the editor thought he was too quick. Not according to the answers I'm getting here.

Sounds like your editor is playing the old "I'm so virile, I can go for hours" trick on you.

Dathai · 28-03-2012 3:51pm

Probably got through it easy enough since he had a spotter egging him on.

Oryx · 28-03-2012 3:55pm

EileenG wrote: »

I didn't give a specific time (I don't measure body parts either) but the editor thought he was too quick. Not according to the answers I'm getting here.

Now I SOOOOO want to know if your editor is male or female.

Orla K · 28-03-2012 3:58pm

EileenG wrote: »

My editor is unhappy with one scene, where the hero and heroine have a steamy phone call. She thinks that my hero's er - response time? - is too fast, and not something a normal man could manage.

Editors a woman

Gummy Panda · 28-03-2012 4:00pm

Surely it matters if he took SuperPump Max and SizeOn with its OUTLAST complex

Da Za · 28-03-2012 4:01pm

Also depends on current activity levels and men are always ready/willing/eager.

Also depends on other supplementation

Paudee · 28-03-2012 4:01pm

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Surely it matters if he took SuperPump Max and SizeOn with its OUTLAST complex

You're not taking enough stimulants unless you have to fold it in.

Cardinal Richelieu · 28-03-2012 4:03pm

Sounds a very technical book to me.:D

The Davestator · 28-03-2012 4:34pm

I think there is to much conjecture and theories in this thread.

I like to take a more scientific approach.

PM with my phone number sent...;)

Zamboni · 28-03-2012 5:11pm

The Davestator wrote: »

I think there is to much conjecture and theories in this thread.

I like to take a more scientific approach.

PM with my phone number sent...;)

Aye too many confounding variables.

You have probably come up with the 'quickest' way for Eileen to get an actual result to be fair.

Antisocialiser · 28-03-2012 6:02pm

If female it's possible that your editor has never witnessed a 60 second finish as a man finishing that quick would not be too highly thought of performance wise.

As your target audience is presumably women it may be prudent to allow your male character to last longer at least to seem more desirable to your reader. that may be what your editor is thinking.

Paudee · 28-03-2012 6:28pm

Here, he's not going to tell her he's after exploding everywhere if she's not finished yet..

UL_heart_throb · 28-03-2012 6:28pm

EileenG wrote: »

My hero is 34 years old, fit, 7% bodyfat, former military, and does heavy deadlifts and ATG squats to failure. Single, no health problems.

.

I am not at all happy with the underlying science being assumed here. Are you saying, guy does heavy squats and deadlifts, serum testosterone levels increase and therefore sexual performance similarly improves?

From one study:
It is believed that normal adult testosterone levels are not required for normal erections to occur and that when this threshold of testosterone is reached, additional amounts do not further increase the frequency, amplitude, or rigidity of erections

there doesn't seem to be any consensus yet on the role of testosterone in premature ejaculation. Do you have strong evidence to suggest otherwise?

I would speculate that the increase in testosterone levels due to powerlifting would be negligible compared to changes that would affect sexual performance. I think big musculy men and their wives that claim an increase in virility or sexual performance due to increase in circulation t are probably misinformed and or exaggerating.

back to the question at hand. if the man had abstained from any form of ejaculation for 2 weeks and was in an extremely aroused state I'm certain he could probably go squirt out an ejaculation if he really went to town with his stroke rate. However, is he on speaker phone or what? I think he's probably need concurrent testicular massage to shoot that soon.

Hanley · 28-03-2012 6:32pm

UL_heart_throb wrote: »

I am not at all happy with the underlying science being assumed here. Are you saying, guy does heavy squats and deadlifts, serum testosterone levels increase and therefore sexual performance similarly improves?

From one study:
It is believed that normal adult testosterone levels are not required for normal erections to occur and that when this threshold of testosterone is reached, additional amounts do not further increase the frequency, amplitude, or rigidity of erections

there doesn't seem to be any consensus yet on the role of testosterone in premature ejaculation. Do you have strong evidence to suggest otherwise?

I would speculate that the increase in testosterone levels due to powerlifting would be negligible compared to changes that would affect sexual performance. I think big musculy men and their wives that claim an increase in virility or sexual performance due to increase in circulation t are probably misinformed and or exaggerating.

back to the question at hand. if the man had abstained from any form of ejaculation for 2 weeks and was in an extremely aroused state I'm certain he could probably go squirt out an ejaculation if he really went to town with his stroke rate. However, is he on speaker phone or what? I think he's probably need concurrent testicular massage to shoot that soon.

F*cking top answer.

EileenG · 28-03-2012 6:39pm

Hanley wrote: »

Sounds like your editor is playing the old "I'm so virile, I can go for hours" trick on you.

No, she's going the other way, thinks it would take for longer for him to get up and get off.

EileenG · 28-03-2012 6:41pm

Oryx wrote: »

Now I SOOOOO want to know if your editor is male or female.

Female.

Gummy Panda · 28-03-2012 7:01pm

EileenG wrote: »

Hanley wrote: »

Sounds like your editor is playing the old "I'm so virile, I can go for hours" trick on you.

No, she's going the other way, thinks it would take for longer for him to get up and get off.

She must have never meet a two pump chump

EileenG · 28-03-2012 7:14pm

Gummy Panda wrote: »

She must have never meet a two pump chump

You have?

Gummy Panda · 28-03-2012 7:19pm

EileenG wrote: »

Gummy Panda wrote: »

She must have never meet a two pump chump

You have?

Women I'm friends with have

Hanley · 28-03-2012 7:50pm

Eh why all the fascination with sex? Sometimes I just want to be held.

mrswalton · 28-03-2012 8:57pm

Very possibly the most amusing thread i've read. As a woman, i would have to agree with the sentiments in Antisocialiser's answer.

Antisocialiser wrote: »

If female it's possible that your editor has never witnessed a 60 second finish as a man finishing that quick would not be too highly thought of performance wise.

As your target audience is presumably women it may be prudent to allow your male character to last longer at least to seem more desirable to your reader. that may be what your editor is thinking.

Is your target audience predominantly women?

EileenG · 28-03-2012 9:15pm

Yes, I think at least 80% of the readers will be female. But it's one thing to be annoyed with a fast finisher in real life. You don't necessarily want to read through pages of grunting if it's not necessary.

Hanley · 28-03-2012 9:29pm

He stroked his flaccid member and bemoaned his low testosterone levels... He always knew that cycle was a bad idea, but now the cows have come home to roost.

littlemsfickle · 28-03-2012 9:40pm

Hanley wrote: »

He stroked his flaccid member and bemoaned his low testosterone levels... He always knew that cycle was a bad idea, but now the cows have come home to roost.

Cows do love roosting.

GASMANN · 28-03-2012 10:41pm

i know a heard of a group of lads who could get it done on demand during the danger **** craze of the early 2000's, 90-120 seconds was a luxury these brave warriors couldnt afford..

SteelyDanJalapeno · 28-03-2012 11:35pm

Have you tried P90X?

UL_heart_throb · 29-03-2012 12:58am

eileeng is this picked up by mills and boon? You need to get a throbbing manhood in there somewhere.

I swear I'm not trolling...

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