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My own Ross Geller problem

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    #92
    Caoimhín
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,789 ✭✭✭Caoimhín


    briantwin wrote: »
    Spiders..............the guy has been stealing this mans sandwiches, not chasing him around the school yard firing elastic bands at him. Crime and punishment - if the punishment does not involve either the culprit acquiring a horrendously aggressive venereal disease or getting the mighty AIDS then you have not gone far enough. Although if you have your heart set on spiders being involved, get a junkie to dress as spider and stab him in the jugular with a dirty needle.

    My dear fellow, Boards are full of lilly livered, pinko, leftie liberals. They would have you believe that this criminal cant help himself, that its because hes from a "disadvantaged background", that all he needs is a hug.
    Shoot the fcuker I say.


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    #93
    star-pants
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,429 ✭✭✭✭star-pants


    who said they weren't red back spiders?


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    #94
    Crumble Froo
    Registered Users Posts: 8,196 ✭✭✭Crumble Froo


    that dye stuff that the bank use? that explode the colour on people... oh, the red faced shame wehn everyone finds out :D


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    #95
    GrumPy
    Registered Users Posts: 6,557 ✭✭✭GrumPy


    MikeySligo wrote: »
    What kind of dirty skobie eats a (more or less) strangers sandwich?
    Sandwiches, either have to be made by me, or in front of me, otherwise no. I dunno why.

    +1


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    #96
    Steve_o
    Registered Users Posts: 3,432 ✭✭✭Steve_o


    Sandwich - Box - Stick - String..... the perfect trap, Sandwiches are a gift from some higher power to be enjoyed, thievery of said sandwiches is a devilish act....


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    #97
    punchdrunk
    Registered Users Posts: 3,355 ✭✭✭punchdrunk


    put a webcam in the tinfoil disguised as a sandwich and post the incriminating photo of the thief all around the office! :D


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    #98
    yayamark
    Registered Users Posts: 2,013 ✭✭✭yayamark


    And i thought this was the problem

    Here

    Good thread though go with a cocktail of man-juice, laxatives and super glue.

    The **** will want to get sick but wont be able to because his sperm laced lips will be stuck together.

    P.s Have the mobile ready to get footage of it.

    P.P.s Last time i ever steal a sandwich!


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    #99
    LouOB
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,181 ✭✭✭LouOB


    Spiders you say
    now theres an idea

    Place plastic insects in EACH sandwich
    Easy for you to take out and place in pocket for you to eat - no harm for sandwich or pleasure of easy
    But miserable inconsider and stingy fecker with get the sh*ts up them when they find 'something' in their month while chomping down - queue panic


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    #100
    Toto Wolfcastle
    Registered Users Posts: 25,005 ✭✭✭✭Toto Wolfcastle


    yayamark wrote: »
    And i thought this was the problem

    Here

    I actually thought of this first:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QD2N2eqCjC0


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    #101
    billymitchell
    Registered Users Posts: 11,996 ✭✭✭✭billymitchell


    Couldnt sleep last night thinking about this. Has this f*cker been caught yet??? :mad:


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    #102
    Kold
    Registered Users Posts: 12,778 ✭✭✭✭Kold


    Don't be such a tight bastard, everyone knows the 'mass production' rule. It's handier for one person to make a lot of sandwiches than for lots of people making one sandwich.


    Suck it up and make extra sandwiches. Make ME a f*cking sandwich. Lots of mayo please.


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    #103
    Faith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,655 Mod ✭✭✭✭Faith


    Alicat wrote: »
    I think you should wrap the sandwiches in 14 feet of tin foil. They'll really start to panic when they're knee deep in tinfoil and still no sandwich. They run the risk of other staff members catching them, including you, and even if no one catches them in the act, watch out for the panicked red-faced colleague rushing out of the staff room with tinfoil stuck to their shoe, or in their hair.

    They won't risk it again :p

    That actually made me laugh out loud. Well played!

    Still, 3 sandwiches?! Most people only manage 1.


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    #104
    Max_Damage
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,461 ✭✭✭Max_Damage


    In Soviet Russia, sandwiches eat YOU!


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    #105
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    christeb wrote: »
    I was thinking of lacing the top sandwich with some sort of laxative, the culprit should then be easily identifiable later in the day:eek:.

    Any other ideas?
    If you're gonna go down that route u may as well stick a prosthetic finger or something in it. Not only will the culprit identify themselves with their scream but nobody else will go near your sambos after that.


    U may have the additional problems of being the office outcast or getting fired but the sambo will be safe.


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    #106
    The Chessplayer
    Registered Users Posts: 1,318 ✭✭✭The Chessplayer


    This sort of thing might be more common than you think. It happened to me a few times when I had to use the communal fridge shared by the drones in sector 7G. I have since moved office and we have our own little fridge between 3 of us.


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    #107
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    The Chessplayer wrote: »
    This sort of thing might be more common than you think. It happened to me a few times when I had to use the communal fridge shared by the drones in sector 7G. I have since moved office and we have our own little fridge between 3 of us.

    Do Lenny and Carl still work there?!


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    #108
    flanum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,107 ✭✭✭flanum


    well did op ever get to carry out a trap?


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    #109
    Adam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,866 ✭✭✭Adam


    I hate threads like this...we need closure OP!! :(


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    #110
    Huggles
    Registered Users Posts: 3,408 ✭✭✭Huggles


    Maybe he laced the sandwich with rat poison and ate it himself :p

    doh!


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