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Help me get up to no good :)

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  • Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    1. Fill the house with wacky booby-traps that can only be triggered in very specific situations.

    2. Indirectly inform two local bungling yet dangerous burglars that the house is empty.

    3. Hijinks.

    4. ????

    5. Profit.

    (If you're an adorable but simultaneously gratingly precocious pre-teen, change 4. to get "Get movie deal with major studio.")


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,538 ✭✭✭flutterflye


    Write "Dean waz 'ere" on the wall.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,834 ✭✭✭adocholiday


    Turn every picture in the house facing the walls and when your girlfriend comes home cower in the corner and tell her they were watching and judging you


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,538 ✭✭✭flutterflye


    Turn every picture in the house facing the walls and when your girlfriend comes home cower in the corner and tell her they were watching and judging you

    Or tilt every picture or mirror ever so slightly off center.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Do an A C Slater. Where you sit on the toilet like A C Slater would sit on a chair when he's at the Maxx.

    Though, you're a teenager so you probably have no idea what I'm referring to.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 794 ✭✭✭Redlion


    There's definitely cameras hidden in the house ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,023 ✭✭✭Fukuyama


    Do an A C Slater. Where you sit on the toilet like A C Slater would sit on a chair when he's at the Maxx.

    Though, you're a teenager so you probably have no idea what I'm referring to.

    I'm 19 not thirteen. I know what an AC Slater is. I miss the good old days of Bayside High School :)


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Do a Butcher Boy and take a dump in the kitchen.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 403 ✭✭IsMiseLisa


    Threads like these make me worry about some of the AH posters.

    How in the jaysus do some of you even come up with some of your ideas? :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,724 ✭✭✭tallaghtmick


    Write "Dean waz 'ere" on the wall.

    With your own ****e


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,243 ✭✭✭LighterGuy


    Dean0088 wrote: »
    So; the girlfriends family are away (She lives with her parents - we're teenagers). And she has work all day. I'm staying with her for the two weeks having a grand aul time as you can imagine ;) Now I'm left in the family home all by myself with their little annoying **** of a dog.

    Feels kind of 'wrong'.

    I'm kind of bored too... There's very little snooping to be done. Plus I'm pretty sure her neighbour thinks I'm a burgular. She seen me when she was hanging out washing and for some reason I leapt onto the ground :pac:

    Any ideas on what I can get up to for the next seven hours or so? :)


    Word of advice, Dean0088 :pac:
    Since you called her dog a little annoying sh*t and basically admitted to snooping around her gaff :pac: ... NEVER, EVER give her your username on boards! ;)
    She'll most likely have an old snoop around "threads posted / threads created" by you ;) So dont let this bite you in the ass!


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,191 ✭✭✭CardBordWindow


    Move everything from the kitchen into the bathroom. Move everything from the bathroom into the hall. Move everything from the bedroom into the kitchen. Move everything....... you get the idea.
    Try put everything in the same position as it was in the previous room. :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 470 ✭✭JoePie


    Go and buy a boat load of plastic cups. Fill each one up and place them all over the upstairs floor. Or just the stairs or something. You've got to cover the whole floorspace regardless of where you put them.

    Then, when your bird comes home, act like you don't know how they got there and she's going to have to clean them up. And she can't just sweep them all up as she'll make a mess, so each one will have to be emptied individually.

    ALTERNATIVELY:

    Find three goats. Paint the numbers '1,' '2' and '4' on them and hide them all around the house. She'll spend ages looking for number '3'. Could also work with cats.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,810 ✭✭✭phill106


    Install secret cameras all over the house, and stream it on the internet. If it proves popular, you can charge admission, if not, you can always be like a god to them, knowing things about the house you should not know, hearing things you shouldn't have heard etc


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,163 ✭✭✭✭Liam Byrne


    Help me get up to no good

    Why, what level are you at at the moment ? Absolutely useless ?


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,376 ✭✭✭✭mariaalice


    I know this is really radical and not what you are looking for, how about cooking your gf a nice dinner, doing some tiding up and ironing for her, take the dog for a walk, then walk up and meet her form work and ask her about her day, run her a bath.

    By doing the above you will feel good about yourself, you won't be bored, and you will be well on your way to winning the boyfriend of the year award!


  • Registered Users Posts: 53,262 ✭✭✭✭GavRedKing


    Piss and shit in the kettle and boil it just as sheas about to come home and hide upstairs, declare your innocence of any knowledge of the kettle.


  • Registered Users Posts: 502 ✭✭✭sarah88


    brembo26 wrote: »
    Give them all pink eye! rub your arse off all the pillows except for your own one!


    just to note you must be bare assed to give pink eye;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    oh jesus! well you're fcuked now, cause you have heard the suggestions and you are going to have to do a few of them after a dougal and big red button moment they will get louder and louder and louder in your head and you will eventually give in to the boredom and do something stupid :eek:

    basically throw yourself downstairs and break your arm, this will mean you have to get out of the house for treatment and you wont do anything stupid.. you will instead be bored in hospital waiting 6 hours to be seen, discharged and back in time to tell the gf about that 'fall' you had... there are many benefits to this, not least the guilt sex for you getting hurt in her house


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,090 ✭✭✭wobbles


    Take the butter from the fridge, melt it, take a huge dump into the now liquid butter and let it reset. You wont be around to see the result, but you will be happy with the fact that you will have ruined someones day in a few days.

    Also unroll the last roll of toilet paper in the pack, shred the last few feet of it and carefully roll it back up. Someone will get to that part thinking they have loads left only to be left with useless strands of paper they cant use.

    How about you rub some poo into the toaster. Nothing worse than heating/burning poo with your toast in the morning.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,459 ✭✭✭Heathen


    Top deck the jax ;-)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,975 ✭✭✭W.Shakes-Beer


    Get a load of blood and animal scraps from the butchers and pour it all over the hall, splash it on the walls for when they walk in. Close all curtains and blinds to darken the whole house.

    Leave a trail of blood to the kitchen then smear it over the knife drawer and put a hand print on the fridge.

    Finally, dribble the blood up the stairs into the parents bedroom. Lock it from the inside and climb out a window. Hide in the garden somewhere.

    Then lol.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,389 ✭✭✭mattjack


    mariaalice wrote: »
    I know this is really radical and not what you are looking for, how about cooking your gf a nice dinner, doing some tiding up and ironing for her, take the dog for a walk, then walk up and meet her form work and ask her about her day, run her a bath.

    By doing the above you will feel good about yourself, you won't be bored, and you will be well on your way to winning the boyfriend of the year award!

    invite mariaalice around for entertainment


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    Arrange a boards beers in her house this Friday!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    smash wrote: »
    Arrange a boards beers in her house this Friday!

    Deanality is a bit far to go :(

    its that dean right?


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,466 ✭✭✭Snakeblood


    Well don't kill a hooker. I did that. More trouble than it's worth all in all.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭KTRIC


    Snakeblood wrote: »
    Well don't kill a hooker. I did that. More trouble than it's worth all in all.

    You forgot to put down the plastic , didn't you ??

    I made that mistake the first time or was it the second time, I can never remember.


  • Registered Users Posts: 26,283 ✭✭✭✭Eric Cartman


    go look all over your girlfriends room, she probably has something you dont know about


  • Registered Users Posts: 347 ✭✭Mr. Boo


    Burn it down.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    Dean0088 wrote: »
    So; the girlfriends family are away (She lives with her parents - we're teenagers). And she has work all day. I'm staying with her for the two weeks having a grand aul time as you can imagine ;) Now I'm left in the family home all by myself with their little annoying **** of a dog.

    Feels kind of 'wrong'.

    I'm kind of bored too... There's very little snooping to be done. Plus I'm pretty sure her neighbour thinks I'm a burgular. She seen me when she was hanging out washing and for some reason I leapt onto the ground :pac:

    Any ideas on what I can get up to for the next seven hours or so? :)


    and you have to come online and ask for an instruction manual

    Kido hang your head in shame :rolleyes:


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