(UK) Vicar hospitalised with potato up his Bum

Hootanany · 29-03-2012 4:34pm #1

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/382493-vicar-hospitalised-with-potato-up-his-bum

The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield's Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.

He had to undergo surgery to extract the spud from his backside, according to The Sun.

A&E nurse Trudi Watson said: 'He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in he kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

'But it's not for me to question his story.'

She went on to reveal other objects removed from people's derriére, including a cucumber, a Russian doll and a carnation.

I fell on it.

Lumbo · 29-03-2012 4:36pm

He'll be spitting chips when he finds out he's been exposed.

benway · 29-03-2012 4:37pm

No corkscrews in the rectory, obviously.

Nothingbetter2d · 29-03-2012 4:38pm

hahaha as god is my word eh?

Feeona · 29-03-2012 4:38pm

The humble potato-so versatile!

Captain Darling · 29-03-2012 4:38pm

FFS!! Can a man not stick a potato up his hole without it being totally sensationalised??

I dont know what the world is coming to.

smcgiff · 29-03-2012 4:39pm

Hootanany wrote: »

I fell on it repeatedly.

FYP

Fizman · 29-03-2012 4:39pm

His story sounds legit.

If I had a dollar for everytime time I slipped onto some vegetables while hanging curtains while completely naked......I'd have four dollars.

Captain Darling · 29-03-2012 4:40pm

Fizman wrote: »

His story sounds legit.

If I had a dollar for everytime time I slipped onto some vegetables while hanging curtains while completely naked......I'd have four dollars.

And a sore hole.

senorwipesalot · 29-03-2012 4:40pm

Reminds me of a chap I heard about who was working in a piggery in Kilkenny who when was caught ridin a pig claimed
"I was havin a piss and the pig backed into me"

mconigol · 29-03-2012 4:41pm

God bless his holeness...

Gevie Stee · 29-03-2012 4:41pm

Sounds like a load of waffle to me

Nothingbetter2d · 29-03-2012 4:41pm

senorwipesalot wrote: »

Reminds me of a chap I heard about who was working in a piggery in Kilkenny who when was caught ridin a pig claimed
"I was havin a piss and the pig backed into me"

it was you wasn't it? needed to wipealot after that?

senorwipesalot · 29-03-2012 4:50pm

Nothingbetter2d wrote: »

it was you wasn't it? needed to wipealot after that?

Get your coat.

Stiffler2 · 29-03-2012 4:53pm

As far as I'm aware I think the Catholic Church sent out a memo to all priests telling them to stop using little boys and to start using potatoes.

phasers · 29-03-2012 4:56pm

At least it wasn't a cauliflower

smcgiff · 29-03-2012 4:58pm

Stiffler2 wrote: »

As far as I'm aware I think the Catholic Church sent out a memo to all priests telling them to stop using little boys and to start using potatoes.

Serves the Vicar right following Popish ways.

El Weirdo · 29-03-2012 4:59pm

Hootanany wrote: »

The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield's Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.

"Did this happen during a sex game?"

"Definitely not."

"Okay."

:pac:

emzolita · 29-03-2012 5:00pm

reminds me of when my boyfriend was a kid and cut his own hair, to save getting in trouble, he told his mam, his brother threw the scissors and it flew through the air, whilst taking a good chunk of his hair out.

44leto · 29-03-2012 5:00pm

Ehhh he fell on it, that is what I would say. But I am curious what kink game involves spuds.

I remember reading about a case in England when they found a man who bled too death.

He somehow figured that sodomy would be a good idea with his horse, it wasn't, but the remarkable thing, the coroner estimated it took him about 3 days to die and in agony. He was to embarrassed to seek assistance.

foxyboxer · 29-03-2012 5:02pm

How angry would you be if a nurse gave an interview like that.
I don't care what kinky stuff people are into but surely you'd expect a bit of privacy and confidentiality.

foxyboxer · 29-03-2012 5:05pm

PO-TAY-TO!!

BOIL 'EM

MASH 'EM

STICK 'EM UP YER BUM!

senorwipesalot · 29-03-2012 5:07pm

Damn you,sexy root vegetables.

Abi · 29-03-2012 5:07pm

Stiffler2 wrote: »

As far as I'm aware I think the Catholic Church sent out a memo to all priests telling them to stop using little boys and to start using potatoes.

It's not the Catholics, its the protestants they're after.

/swings shopping bags around crazy like

Captain Darling · 29-03-2012 5:09pm

What was once a kerr pink, is now a kerr brown.

benway · 29-03-2012 5:09pm

Cantona's Collars · 29-03-2012 5:11pm

Did anyone see the related story in that link about the chinese farmer becoming a minor celebrity due to his potato?
What is it with people & spuds?

marozz · 29-03-2012 5:12pm

I think this story is just puree waffle.

29-03-2012 5:12pm

I hope he is back in time for Sunday Mash.

I mean Mass!!

token101 · 29-03-2012 5:14pm

Eh, regardless of what this guy did, is he not entitled to confidentiality? Or does that just go out the window when the situation is funny? I'd sue the hole of that nurse and I'd be wanting her struck off if possible.

Wattle · 29-03-2012 5:17pm

They should keep searching. They might find a few altar boys up there.

Odaise Gaelach · 29-03-2012 5:25pm

Reminds me of Bottom:

"What was your name again?"
"Spudgun."
"Spudgun. Why do they call you 'Spudgun'?"
"Well, give me a potato and I show you why."

thecommietommy · 29-03-2012 5:48pm

Hootanany wrote: »

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/382493-vicar-hospitalised-with-potato-up-his-bum

The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield's Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.

He had to undergo surgery to extract the spud from his backside, according to The Sun.

A&E nurse Trudi Watson said: 'He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in he kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

'But it's not for me to question his story.'

She went on to reveal other objects removed from people's derriére, including a cucumber, a Russian doll and a carnation.

I fell on it.

I have heard about this kind of thing before. Grub Smith who writes for the lad mag FHM had a programme on Channell 4 about embarassing sex situations etc ( for example a teacher who used to have intercourse with her Alsatian dog was caught when her ex boy friend gave the video tape over to the police who prosecuted her !!! ).

Amyway two gays had the bright idea of inserting a condom full of wet cement up one of their butts. The cement hardened and they had to bring him to hospital were they used a sonic device to crack and break up the cement so they could get it out of his ar$e. Fact.

amacachi · 29-03-2012 5:50pm

Hootanany wrote: »

A&E nurse Trudi Watson said: 'He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in he kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

How did he explain the condom it was in?

senorwipesalot · 29-03-2012 6:01pm

A vicar walks into the doctor's office.

A banana stuck in one of his ears, a potato in his arse, and a carrot stuck in his japs eye.

The vicar says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."

token101 · 29-03-2012 6:03pm

thecommietommy wrote: »

Amyway two gays had the bright idea of inserting a condom full of wet cement up one of their butts. The cement hardened and they had to bring him to hospital were they used a sonic device to crack and break up the cement so they could get it out of his ar$e. Fact.

They should have presented them with a Darwin Award. And a little statuette carved from the cement pulled out of yer man's hole.

im invisible · 29-03-2012 6:18pm

token101 wrote: »

They should have presented them with a Darwin Award.

???

Oh i get it, is it because he is gay?

token101 · 29-03-2012 6:22pm

im invisible wrote: »

???

Oh i get it, is it because he is gay?

You're being sarcastic. Surely? Please tell me you're being sarcastic? Because if you're not, you're calling me homophobic for suggesting that a guy pouring concrete up his ass is beyond a moron?

ejmaztec · 29-03-2012 6:24pm

It must have happened in the rectumory.

Biggins · 29-03-2012 6:25pm

Captain Darling wrote: »

FFS!! Can a man not stick a potato up his hole without it being totally sensationalised??

I dont know what the world is coming to.

An unholy end!