Do you read your other half's text messages?

4zn76tysfajdxp · 06-11-2009 4:32pm #1

I had an discussion with my cousin about it yesterday. She said that it's normal for girls to read men's text messages as they could be secretly up to no good and it's the only way to find out. I said that it's a breach of privacy, that the ends don't justify the means and every relationship shouldn't be built on a foundation of inherent distrust. She told me that I'll change my mind once I have a girlfriend.

I still disagree with her. I think that if you really think you have the right to look through somebody's text messages just because you're going out with them, then you're insane. That is to say, I have no issue if somebody let's his/her girl/boyfriend read through their texts, obviously. But the assumption that it's normal behaviour? Ludicrous.

What do you think? Try to keep the "yore ma's" and shit out of this please.

Mr. Incognito · 06-11-2009 4:34pm

If I caught her- Instant perma ban

Valmont · 06-11-2009 4:35pm

I would never dream of it. Mainly because I don't really care as it's only a ****ing text message after all.

dr.bollocko · 06-11-2009 4:36pm

The whole thing just makes me feel uncomfortable tbh. I just like my privacy. Bitch.

WindSock · 06-11-2009 4:38pm

Nova Vast Jaw wrote: »

I had an discussion with my cousin about it yesterday. She said that it's normal for girls to read men's text messages as they could be secretly up to no good and it's the only way to find out.

If don't like your cousin reading your texts, you should put a password on your phone.

TheZohanS · 06-11-2009 4:39pm

I'm single but with my previous g/f I would never read her text messages unless something big happened and I had a good reason to.

Think I might have checked hers twice and info from reading them on the second occasion was the reason for our break-up.

Ahsurelookit · 06-11-2009 4:39pm

Was she serious??? Thats madness, if the texts were meant for her to see the sender would have sent them to her!!!

I went to college with a girl who thought nothing of just picking up peoples phone off the table and reading the texts, put her in her place quick fast. Seriously I would never read anyone's texts its such an invasion of privacy.

Aodan83 · 06-11-2009 4:40pm

Taking a look while the OH is out of the room seems a bit wierd. It's like your expecting to find something that shouldn't be there. That's not how it should work. If they let you loook through, then ya, whatever floats your boat like. But sneaking a peek just shows that there is no trust there.

Nasty_Girl · 06-11-2009 4:41pm

I dont give a sh*t if my husband reads my texts.
Half of them are bullsh*t and he knows it.
I've got nothing to hide.

RossFixxxed · 06-11-2009 4:43pm

Nasty_Girl wrote: »

I dont give a sh*t if my husband reads my texts.
Half of them are bullsh*t and he knows it.
I've got nothing to hide.

I like the sound of the other half.

Maybe it's cos I'm an only child or something but I'm obsessive about my privacy. There's bugger all of interest on my phone, email, post etc. but it's MINE and I like it that way.

Cathmandooo · 06-11-2009 4:43pm

No I wouldn't read anyone's text messages and wouldn't appreciate anyone reading mine. There's nothing in them and I've nothing to hide but it's an invasion of privacy to do it. You shuldn't have to put a password on your phone to prevent it happening. There's something wrong if you do.

pikachucheeks · 06-11-2009 4:44pm

My thinking is, if you don't trust the person enough to respect their privacy (ie. not look through their phone etc), you shouldn't be in a relationship with them.

4zn76tysfajdxp · 06-11-2009 4:45pm

WindSock wrote: »

If don't like your cousin reading your texts, you should put a password on your phone.

I'm...I'm not going out with my cousin, WindSock.

token56 · 06-11-2009 4:45pm

Text, emails, etc its the same for all, you dont invade someone else's privacy by checking their stuff. Trust is a huge part of any relationship and if you need to check their personal messages to keep your sanity there is something wrong. If I feel there is something up I will just ask, no need to go around checking up on them behind their backs.

Aodan83 · 06-11-2009 4:45pm

RossFixxxed wrote: »

I like the sound of the other half.

Maybe it's cos I'm an only child or something but I'm obsessive about my privacy. There's bugger all of interest on my phone, email, post etc. but it's MINE and I like it that way.

I have 4 siblings. I dont get much privacy, so what little I do have, I keep.

IvyTheTerrible · 06-11-2009 4:46pm

I wouldn't read his text messages, it's a total invasion of privacy. I wouldn't mind if he read mine, but only if he asked first.

It's the same as opening other people's post or listening in on their phone conversations, not on.

And if your girlfriend is reading your texts on the sly there is a big problem with trust in that relationship, and you should be considering giving her the heave ho.

pikachucheeks · 06-11-2009 4:47pm

Nova Vast Jaw wrote: »

I'm...I'm not going out with my cousin, WindSock.

You're from the country, it's only a matter of time before you are!

kaimera · 06-11-2009 4:48pm

No.

Had an ex want my email pw and **** before and never again.

**** right off

Lola92 · 06-11-2009 4:49pm

My OH won't read my text messages even when asked/demanded to :eek:

...meh wouldn't really be bothered to read his- his phone, his business!

AnonoBoy · 06-11-2009 4:49pm

Ex-Wife - "I texted you to let you know that we should meet earlier."
Me - "Yesterday you gave out to me for reading your texts and now you're giving out to me for not reading your texts. Make up your mind woman.

You can't win sometimes.

4zn76tysfajdxp · 06-11-2009 4:50pm

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Ex-Wife - "I texted you to let you know that we should meet earlier."
Me - "Yesterday you gave out to me for reading your texts and now you're giving out to me for not reading your texts. Make up your mind woman.

You can't win sometimes.

Ex-wife? Fucking hell, how old are you?

AnonoBoy · 06-11-2009 4:51pm

Nova Vast Jaw wrote: »

I'm...I'm not going out with my cousin, WindSock.

Ah sweet so she finally dumped you. Do you mind if I have a go?

Pighead · 06-11-2009 4:51pm

Never ever read Miss Piggys texts. To do so would be deceitful, underhand and would show an inherant lack of trust in her. Anyway she never gets any texts. Not since Pighead took away her phone and locked her in the attic after the private detective Pighead had follow her last Wednesday evening, reported that she was spotted down Earl st talking to a man with a stripey jumper and nice curly hair.

AnonoBoy · 06-11-2009 4:51pm

Nova Vast Jaw wrote: »

Ex-wife? Fucking hell, how old are you?

A gentleman never asks. A lady never tells.

So eh.... in my 30's.

My name is URL · 06-11-2009 4:53pm

The trick is to have messages password protected

I'd never read anyone elses though

Amy33 · 06-11-2009 4:54pm

I read my ex's texts and found out that he had been cheating on me with a female "friend". He was ranting and raving about his privacy when I confronted him, talk about nerve....

Insect Overlord · 06-11-2009 4:55pm

I hate the idea of anyone reading my messages. My OH is the only person who texts me anyway...

biko · 06-11-2009 4:55pm

No but they are probably read by CIA/FBI/Eircom so I never use my own phone for my ingenious plans to take over the world.

Spark Boy · 06-11-2009 4:56pm

If i caught my other half secretly reading my txs it tells me three things 1) they don't feckin trust me 2) bit of a control freak 3) get the hell outta the relationship!! oh ya 4, they can read..

Sean Quagmire · 06-11-2009 4:58pm

As Chris Rock said 'If youre gonna let a little f*cking get in the way of our love, theres something wrong here baby'

pikachucheeks · 06-11-2009 5:00pm

trish990 wrote: »

I read my ex's texts and found out that he had been cheating on me with a female "friend". He was ranting and raving about his privacy when I confronted him, talk about nerve....

In a way, he was right - You'd have never known about his infidelity, had you not snooped through his phone.

Granted, what he did was wrong but arguably, you're also somewhat in the wrong, for invading his privacy.

NothingMan · 06-11-2009 5:01pm

I find it funny that when my gf is writing or reading a text she leans the phone away from me. I have no interest in her converstations but if i'm texting she's all "Who's that". Not in a suspicious way but nosey.

More worried about pictures on my phone tbh. My friends have seen my gf practically naked too many times. So can't even keep erotic pics oh her on my phone anymore.

Once caught a girl I barely knew reading through my texts while I was in the toilet, I went mad and told her that was way out of line, how would you feel if I read yours, she said I could but she'd have to delete something first! I obviously wasn't gonna read hers but she didn't get why I was annoyed! She was a cnut, and fugly too!

maddogcollins · 06-11-2009 5:04pm

Its a tough one..I as a rule NEVER (except if she is driving and asks me to read it out to her, but thats different) read my girlfriends texts..I think it shows complete lack of trust and sneakiness..

My girlfriend has on more than one occasion taken my phone while I have been sitting beside her and read a few texts/flicked through to see who from..I dont mind that too much as I have no secrets and she is doing it in fromt of me, so I could always say thats private and she would not read it. But i have also caught her reading them once when i was out of room and came back in. Was not happy! Had teh trust chat needless to say!

Overall, dont read other people texts!

AnonoBoy · 06-11-2009 5:05pm

NothingMan wrote: »

Once caught a girl I barely knew reading through my texts while I was in the toilet, I went mad and told her that was way out of line, how would you feel if I read yours, she said I could but she'd have to delete something first! I obviously wasn't gonna read hers but she didn't get why I was annoyed! She was a cnut, and fugly too!

If she was so fugly what was she doing in the toilet with you?

NothingMan · 06-11-2009 5:09pm

AnonoBoy wrote: »

If she was so fugly what was she doing in the toilet with you?

Fugly girls need lovin too, and who's to say i'm not pug fugly and was actually playing above my rank!

*I am actually a stunning, sexy, handsome, charming, sensitive, funny, smart and modest man.

Shiny · 06-11-2009 5:15pm

My phone is in my pocket unless I am using it / am in bed.

So unless she gets up in the middle of the night to read my
texts, I don't see it happening.

segaBOY · 06-11-2009 5:18pm

pikachucheeks wrote: »

In a way, he was right - You'd have never known about his infidelity, had you not snooped through his phone.

Granted, what he did was wrong but arguably, you're also somewhat in the wrong, for invading his privacy.

Still though, you have to be a bit of a sneak to catch a snake.

AnonoBoy · 06-11-2009 5:25pm

Shiny wrote: »

My phone is in my pocket unless I am using it / am in bed.

So unless she gets up in the middle of the night to read my
texts, I don't see it happening.

She gets up in the middle of the night. Or waits until you're in the shower.

Macca07 · 06-11-2009 5:34pm

my OH read txts and then freaked out at me cause i was txting an ex (am i not allowed be friends with an ex???). Wouldn't do it and I told her if she read them again that would be it. I like my privacy, even though I have nothing to hide

Lollipops23 · 06-11-2009 5:36pm

I would never read his messages, especially without his permission!I would freak the fúck out if i caught him reading mine, it's not that there's anything to hide i just think it's totally private.same goes for emails.

Macca07 · 06-11-2009 5:38pm

I'd prob have a lot more private stuff in my emails, as I've never deleted an email (the joys of gmail). Old conversations with girlfriends, stuff like that

segaBOY · 06-11-2009 5:47pm

Macca07 wrote: »

I'd prob have a lot more private stuff in my emails, as I've never deleted an email (the joys of gmail). Old conversations with girlfriends, stuff like that

That would freak the **** out of me tbh. A couple of my friends gave their E-mail, Bebo and Facebook passwords to their other halfs-why would anyone see the need to do this???

walshb · 06-11-2009 5:51pm

Valmont wrote: »

I would never dream of it. Mainly because I don't really care as it's only a ****ing text message after all.

Even if the message says, "Thanks for the best BJ ever last night.":p

Still only a text message?

Barracudaincork · 06-11-2009 5:52pm

An ex of mine read my texts one day and was shocked to find a very raunchy one there from another friend. Fired up and ready to dump me, they confronted me over it, once i stopped laughing i was able to explain it was a text that they forwarded to me, which they had received from their latest conquest and was nothing to do with me and my friend. Which goes to show, just cause you read what you read, doesnt mean all is what it appears to be!

A few months ago I read my Mums emails (as she asks to me on a regular basis to keep her account active) and from an email from Argos, i found out i was getting a microwave for my birthday and had to do that whole surprise this is so cool, oh my god im so shocked when i received it!

AnonoBoy · 06-11-2009 5:54pm

Barracudaincork wrote: »

A few months ago I read my Mums emails (as she asks to me on a regular basis to keep her account active) and from an email from Argos, i found out i was getting a microwave for my birthday and had to do that whole surprise this is so cool, oh my god im so shocked when i received it!

Just as well you didn't spot the email she got from Ann Summers.

Barracudaincork · 06-11-2009 5:56pm

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Just as well you didn't spot the email she got from Ann Summers.

ha ha so true!!:D

Pygmalion · 06-11-2009 5:57pm

Never have, never would. An ex got freaked out when I read some stuff she posted online.
Not privately posted or anything, public site, same username she used everywhere else.
Learned not to do that again, though it was posted quite publicly and about me so wouldn't say it compares.

WeeBushy · 06-11-2009 6:01pm

I dunno... if I caught her reading my texts cuz she didn't trust me I would be very very angry, and hurt that she didn't trust me. But if my phone is lying around and I get a text she'll sometimes pick it up and read it out for me, not cuz she's suspicious or anything, more to be helpful

Don't have any problems with that tbh.

Macca07 · 06-11-2009 6:01pm

segaBOY wrote: »

That would freak the **** out of me tbh. A couple of my friends gave their E-mail, Bebo and Facebook passwords to their other halfs-why would anyone see the need to do this???

Would never give my OH my passwords for these, only looking for trouble!!!

Creamy Goodness · 06-11-2009 6:04pm

no no no.

texts, phone records, emails, diaries etc.

are all off limits. i don't how people could put up with their boyfriend/girlfriend either knowingly or unknowningly go through their texts or emails etc.

actually reading someones emails is worse because it can be done so sneakingly, the person doesn't even have to be in the same country let alone the same room.

consider anyone that does it to be a complete artard.

WeeBushy · 06-11-2009 6:04pm

Macca07 wrote: »

Would never give my OH my passwords for these, only looking for trouble!!!

Mine has asked me to check her emails/facebook for her many times, because she's expecting something or needs to send something and can't get to the internet. I've gotten her to do the same. Neither of us could be bothered to go trawling through the others emails for gossip though... way too much effort, and very bent.

Do you read your other half's text messages?

Comments