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Masturbation

  • 18-08-2014 10:38pm
    #1
    better call saul
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 412 ✭✭


    Seems to still be a taboo, I usually have to knock one out twice a day to relive stress. Don't understand why is a taboo as it's a common as going to the toilet


«13

Comments

  • #2
    SavageHenry
    Registered Users Posts: 31 ✭SavageHenry


    2 a day eh? Amateur, I've had four wrist replacement operations this year alone!


  • #3
    better call saul
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 412 ✭✭better call saul


    SavageHenry wrote: »
    2 a day eh? Amateur, I've had four wrist replacement operations this year alone!

    One after work one in bed does the trick


  • #4
    Shakespeare's Sister
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,412 ✭✭✭Shakespeare's Sister


    Not sure it's that taboo any more. It's just expected that people do it in private, which is pretty reasonable.


  • #5
    Duggy747
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    I've wanked so much me willy has been grinded down to a stub.


  • #6
    Pawn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 440 ✭✭Pawn


    wanker.


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  • #7
    wazky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,516 ✭✭✭wazky


    Nothing better than pulling yourself asunder a couple of times a day.

    I try to set myself challenges and see what I can and can't **** to, so far there isn't a whole lot I can't **** to.


  • #8
    better call saul
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 412 ✭✭better call saul


    Duggy747 wrote: »
    I've wanked so much me willy has been grinded down to a stub.

    Are you pinochio?


  • #9
    _Redzer_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,056 ✭✭✭_Redzer_


    Masturbation is wrong because of my religious OCD.


  • #10
    Molester Stallone II
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,459 ✭✭✭Molester Stallone II


    Hang on......ffs! Had to change hands while I was typing,


  • #11
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,170 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    SavageHenry wrote: »
    2 a day eh? Amateur, I've had four wrist replacement operations this year alone!
    That's your age Ted. I suggest calcium and vitamin D supplements for future ref. :D

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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  • #12
    The_Pretender
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 594 ✭✭✭The_Pretender


    Nothing says 'almost caught masturbating' like having your mam walk in on you looking at the Google homepage.


  • #13
    Macavity.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,745 ✭✭✭Macavity.


    Finally a thread I can contribute to.


  • #14
    Aint Eazy Being Cheezy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,631 ✭✭✭Aint Eazy Being Cheezy


    better call saul wrote: »
    it's as common as going to the toilet

    It's not really though, is it?

    "Excuse me, just going the jacks" I'd say a couple times a week/day even.

    "Give us a min, just going to blow my beans, getting a bit much, won't be long" not as often.


  • #15
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,170 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Macavity. wrote: »
    Finally a thread I can contribute to.
    :D:D

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • #16
    kowloon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,507 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    You do it once on a flight and everyone's out to get you.


  • #17
    Mariasofia
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,887 ✭✭✭Mariasofia


    The Cunning Linguist wrote: »
    It's not really though, is it?

    "Excuse me, just going the jacks" I'd say a couple times a week/day even.

    "Give us a min, just going to blow my beans, getting a bit much, won't be long" not as often.

    Yeah but everybody knows what ya mean......"Im going to the jacks"

    /sniggers....."hes at it again!" .... :p


  • #18
    better call saul
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 412 ✭✭better call saul


    kowloon wrote: »
    You do it once on a flight and everyone's out to get you.

    ... Because you got it out


  • #19
    JustAddWater
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,990 ✭✭✭JustAddWater


    SavageHenry wrote: »
    I've had four wrist replacement operations this year alone!

    Better call Saul!


  • #20
    jamo2oo9
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,780 ✭✭✭jamo2oo9


    Done it on a plane before. Fastest ejaculation you'll ever get at 700mph :P


  • #21
    Mariasofia
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,887 ✭✭✭Mariasofia


    kowloon wrote: »
    You do it once on a flight and everyone's out to get you.

    Bloody nuerofen...... :(


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  • #22
    DeadHand
    Registered Users Posts: 2,758 ✭✭✭DeadHand


    Basic human function...

    What makes it more thread worthy than taking a slash or blowing your nose?

    Catholic guilt?

    Anyway, another nonsense, **** thread.


  • #23
    fryup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,067 ✭✭✭✭fryup


    :pac: classic scene................

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r_dXbWf2Aw


  • #24
    Chance The Fapper
    Closed Accounts Posts: 628 ✭✭✭Chance The Fapper


    They don't call me chance for nothing.


  • #25
    better call saul
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 412 ✭✭better call saul


    DeadHand wrote: »
    Basic human function...

    What makes it more thread worthy than taking a slash or blowing your nose?

    Catholic guilt?

    Anyway, another nonsense, **** thread.

    Lol at your names relevance

    Go have a **** to chill


  • #26
    anncoates
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,925 ✭✭✭✭anncoates


    It's not taboo. It's just that only teenagers and sh*t stand up comedians think it's daring to talk incessantly about it in public.


  • #27
    Mech1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,116 ✭✭✭Mech1


    Roswe of tralee isnt workin for me , but im trying


  • #28
    better call saul
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 412 ✭✭better call saul


    Mech1 wrote: »
    Roswe of tralee isnt workin for me , but im trying

    Never never never give up


  • #29
    better call saul
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 412 ✭✭better call saul


    anncoates wrote: »
    It's not taboo. It's just that only teenagers and sh*t stand up comedians think it's daring to talk incessantly about it in public.

    Shlick and chill is only a bit of craic


  • #30
    DeadHand
    Registered Users Posts: 2,758 ✭✭✭DeadHand


    better call saul wrote: »
    Lol at your names relevance

    Go have a **** to chill

    Dude...

    I'm as chilled as anything with or without a ****...

    It's you that was worked up enough about the subject to start a thread on it.


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  • #31
    better call saul
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 412 ✭✭better call saul


    DeadHand wrote: »
    Dude...

    I'm as chilled as anything with or without a ****...

    It's you that was worked up enough about the subject to start a thread on it.

    Dude? Last time I checked we weren't on the states!


  • #32
    syklops
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    Chance The Fapper wrote: »
    They don't call me chance for nothing.

    Did you ever try the danger **** where you start and then shout for your ma, knowing you have to finish and dispose of any mess before she enters the room.

    Not tried it myself, but I've heard of it.


  • #33
    Cantremember
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,305 ✭✭✭Cantremember


    DeadHand wrote: »
    Basic human function...

    What makes it more thread worthy than taking a slash or blowing your nose?

    Catholic guilt?

    Anyway, another nonsense, **** thread.

    I read your post with astonishment at the dismissal of a central AH topic. Then I saw your username. :D


  • #34
    Cee-Jay-Cee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,235 ✭✭✭✭Cee-Jay-Cee


    better call saul wrote: »
    Seems to still be a taboo, I usually have to knock one out twice a day to relive stress. Don't understand why is a taboo as it's a common as going to the toilet

    You should get yourself a girlfriend. Once you lose your virginity, you'll want the real thing.


  • #35
    Cienciano
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,310 ✭✭✭✭Cienciano


    The_Pretender wrote: »
    Nothing says 'almost caught masturbating' like having your mam walk in on you looking at the Google homepage.

    Do you hide your cock, or the filth on your computer screen?


  • #36
    better call saul
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 412 ✭✭better call saul


    Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »
    You should get yourself a girlfriend. Once you lose your virginity, you'll want the real thing.

    Have one already, a hand shandy is less trouble plus I can fall asleep on my own terms


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  • #37
    Vandango
    Closed Accounts Posts: 604 ✭✭✭Vandango


    better call saul wrote: »
    Dude? Last time I checked we weren't on the states!


    * Looks at username and laughs at the irony *


  • #38
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    DeadHand wrote: »
    Anyway, another nonsense, **** thread.

    It wouldn't be AH without them. I think we're due another "do you shave your bits" thread any day now.


  • #39
    better call saul
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 412 ✭✭better call saul


    Vandango wrote: »
    * Looks at username and laughs at the irony *

    I don't go around like a bart Simpson wannabe calling people dude and live in a world where everything is rad. I just fap a lot


  • #40
    goz83
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,034 ✭✭✭goz83


    Cienciano wrote: »
    Do you hide your cock, or the filth on your computer screen?

    Or stand on the mess you left on the carpet? :pac:


  • #41
    DeadHand
    Registered Users Posts: 2,758 ✭✭✭DeadHand


    better call saul wrote: »
    Dude? Last time I checked we weren't on the states!

    How does one get "on" the states exactly?

    Did I appear to straddle a geographic expanse?

    Ah, Christ... I'm worse for engaging...


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  • #42
    hatrickpatrick
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,797 ✭✭✭✭hatrickpatrick


    IMO not enough people understand the unbelievable joys of edging. Instead of just doing it to completion and f*cking off, do it almost to completion, force yourself to back off for a minute or two, then resume. Repeat this as many times as you can hack, the eventual payoff is much, much better than the usual.


  • #43
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    hatrickpatrick wrote: »
    IMO not enough people understand the unbelievable joys of edging. Instead of just doing it to completion and f*cking off, do it almost to completion, force yourself to back off for a minute or two, then resume. Repeat this as many times as you can hack, the eventual payoff is much, much better than the usual.

    Too much effort.


  • #44
    herisson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,676 ✭✭✭✭herisson


    smash wrote: »
    Too much effort.

    But so rewarding


  • #45
    Frosty McSnowballs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,396 ✭✭✭Frosty McSnowballs


    hatrickpatrick wrote: »
    IMO not enough people understand the unbelievable joys of edging. Instead of just doing it to completion and f*cking off, do it almost to completion, force yourself to back off for a minute or two, then resume. Repeat this as many times as you can hack, the eventual payoff is much, much better than the usual.

    Who the fcuk has time for that? I'm not going to mickey tease myself! Iv significant posting to be doing on the internet!


  • #46
    Sir Arthur Daley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,720 ✭✭✭Sir Arthur Daley


    Senor Fancy Pants wrote: »
    Who the fcuk has time for that? I'm not going to mickey tease myself! Iv significant posting to be doing on the internet!

    Learn to type with one hand.


  • #47
    Frosty McSnowballs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,396 ✭✭✭Frosty McSnowballs


    Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »
    Learn to type with one hand.

    That's what iv been doing all night


  • #48
    kowloon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,507 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    When I was younger I used to watch Sci-Fi at night with the volume down low (Father highly critical of Sci-Fi for unknown reasons). Anyway, there was movement outside the living room so I mashed the remote only to switch on an adult movie as my Mother walked into the room. At the time I still considered it a victory.


  • #49
    Strong Life in Dublin
    Registered Users Posts: 487 ✭✭Strong Life in Dublin


    If I'm bored I will jerk off about 20 times in one day. But I prefer to masturbate every second day as it feel much better and the cum waaaaay more.


  • #50
    Chancer3001
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,480 ✭✭✭Chancer3001


    I see myself as the Incredible Hulk.

    Pre **** I'm the hulk.

    Immediately after happy explosion I'm the mild mannered guy.


    The incredible **** anti-hulk.


    Catchy


  • #51
    takamichinoku
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,110 ✭✭✭takamichinoku


    kowloon wrote: »
    When I was younger I used to watch Sci-Fi at night with the volume down low (Father highly critical of Sci-Fi for unknown reasons).
    ...how critical is highly critical? Like, was he gonna beat you for watching Star Trek or something?


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