Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Treat them mean and keep them keen

Options
135678

Comments

  • Options
    #62
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    That's true as well and it's not the first time he's done it.

    Probably a complete lack of self awareness on his part.


  • Options
    #63
    Tarzana
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,062 ✭✭✭Tarzana


    If by nice guy, you mean whiny pushover, then yeah, nice guys finish last.

    If by nice guy, you mean an actual nice guy, you know, well adjusted, polite but well able to stick up for himself, then not necessarily.


  • Options
    #64
    pq0n1ct4ve8zf5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,070 ✭✭✭✭pq0n1ct4ve8zf5


    Candie wrote: »
    The guy should definitely turn his attention elsewhere. I have little sympathy with him though, or her, since they're both basically dishonest.

    The expression 'scrape her off' though? She's not an unpleasant stain.

    I dunno, if he's made it clear that he has feelings for her and she exploits that to get lifts and presents, I'd go at least as far as kick her ass to the kerb :pac: She's being a real arsehole, he's a sap but at least he has the excuse that his thinking is being clouded by his attraction. They're both being dishonest but she's being a bit more coldblooded about the whole thing (although I'm sure a lot of people who do this are in complete denial about what they're at).

    That's a totally different situation from a Nice Guy who resents a woman for taking his friendship at face value and having the audacity to sleep with men who aren't even as nice to her as he is, in that case, he's the arsehole.


  • Options
    #65
    osarusan
    Registered Users Posts: 16,558 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    If the only way to keep 'em keen is to treat 'em mean, I don't think that relationship is going anywhere healthy.


  • Options
    #66
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,088 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Candie wrote: »
    The expression 'scrape her off' though? She's not an unpleasant stain.
    The way I see it is she is to him. Granted he's the gobshíte, but she's not refusing the advantages of that it seems so... Someone needs to grow a spine. It may as well be him. It's not to her advantage to do so.
    steddyeddy wrote:
    You actually summed her up pretty well. Especially the selfies.
    They're a pretty good indicator SE. Well.. if it's supported by her real world actions. Selfies and attention seeking is grand if she was say 18 and she found her confidence, that was previously lacking was being boosted by the attention. That's cool. Part of adolescence. However if someone, male or female, is carrying that forward beyond that point it's usually a dodgy sign. "Look at me!! Please loooooook at me and validate me". A magnet for the easily led and immature.
    upfrontwithit wrote:
    29,000 posts talking about women ? Is your foot sore ?
    No my hand is. From all the onanism.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #67
    Flesh Gorden
    Registered Users Posts: 1,301 ✭✭✭Flesh Gorden


    Wibbs wrote: »
    They're called narcissists and they are to be avoided. IME they're a minority of about 2 outa 10, with another 1 or 2 having a tendency for this behaviour.(actual scientific figures). These days technology and social media makes it easier to spot them than in the past. A lot of trout pout selfies is often a dead giveaway.

    Wibbs, I think you've just described nearly every woman I've been involved with since 2009 :D

    Never even considered the possibility of narcissistic tendencies in them, but they would have all had that satellite of men around them at various points and moods.

    You're dead on about avoiding them, it can be fun though once you don't get too attached, as anything even resembling a normal relationship tended to burn out within a matter of weeks.
    For the ones I'm still in contact with, I guess I've ended up as the lover character, might not hear from them for 6 months only to be meeting up with them after an evening of texting or other communication.

    There were two others over the past few months who tried to have me as just the "friend" that they knew wanted more but thankfully due to a bit of experience,
    it's pretty easy to see through it and realize they don't really "like you", they just like the attention you're giving them, at which point it's time to cut things off there.


  • Options
    #68
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Tarzana wrote: »
    If by nice guy, you mean whiny pushover, then yeah, nice guys finish last.

    If by nice guy, you mean an actual nice guy, you know, well adjusted, polite but well able to stick up for himself, then not necessarily.

    The nice guys in question are the one's hanging around waiting to be noticed for the catches that they are, expecting girls to be mind-readers, though their friendship is dishonest. When the girl doesn't fall for their charms, they often reserve the right to denounce her as a bitch that just used them because they were so nice. Nice and underhand, nice and dishonest, nice and resentful.

    Real nice guys are upfront and honest from the start, and if you're not interested they accept that and move on, or accept a friendship of equals with no agenda, and nice women don't exploit the situation for their own ends.


  • Options
    #69
    Tarzana
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,062 ✭✭✭Tarzana


    Yeah 'scrape him/her off' is a pretty charmless expression. :-/


  • Options
    #70
    pq0n1ct4ve8zf5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,070 ✭✭✭✭pq0n1ct4ve8zf5


    Tarzana wrote: »
    Yeah 'scrape him/her off' is a pretty charmless expression. :-/

    Theeeeeeeeeeere's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow


  • Options
    #71
    JeffKenna
    Registered Users Posts: 4,518 ✭✭✭JeffKenna


    Wibbs wrote: »
    Of course she does as it suits her SE. Being straight with him and telling him to head off would be emotionally difficult and she'd worry about getting a bitch label and its good for her ego.

    There is a certain type of woman who positively thrives on having satellite men to make up the perfect jigsaw man in her head. So she'll typically have the "friends" who she knows like her "in that way" but she keeps them around for ego and practicality. Then she may have the gay "best friend" who fills in another piece of the jigsaw. Then she'll have the Boyfriend(tm), who she wants to ride and more is socially acceptable. In some cases she'll also have the Lover(tm) in the background in mind or in actuality. Usually an ex, a Mr Big(tm), or a guy who shows up from time to time and revs her engine. Mainly cos he's exciting and temporary so she can imagine more and that really revs the engine. Actually going out with this last guy would ruin the fantasy, so that rarely happens.

    They're called narcissists and they are to be avoided. IME they're a minority of about 2 outa 10, with another 1 or 2 having a tendency for this behaviour.(actual scientific figures). These days technology and social media makes it easier to spot them than in the past. A lot of trout pout selfies is often a dead giveaway.

    I must say having read your various posts on this site over the past year or two (I only registered relatively recently), I've never come across anyone with such a spot on knowledge of women. It's scary really!

    After Hours seems like an appropriate place to state that!


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #72
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Gracelyn Enough Robe wrote: »
    Theeeeeeeeeeere's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow

    What do Spock and toilet paper have in common?

    They both wipe Klingons off Uranus.


  • Options
    #73
    Super-Rush
    Registered Users Posts: 19,473 ✭✭✭✭Super-Rush


    JeffKenna wrote: »
    I must say having read your various posts on this site over the past year or two (I only registered relatively recently), I've never come across anyone with such a spot on knowledge of women. It's scary really!

    After Hours seems like an appropriate place to state that!

    He's the Guru innit?


  • Options
    #74
    livemusic4life
    Registered Users Posts: 394 ✭✭livemusic4life


    Well it doesn't work with me. If a guy doesn't answer my texts or treats me mean then he gets dumped immediately. I love nice guys.


  • Options
    #75
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    livemusic4life wrote: »
    Well it doesn't work with me. If a guy doesn't answer my texts or treats me mean then he gets dumped immediately. I love nice guys.

    I will buy you presents and drive you everywhere to meet your real boyfriend and generally let you walk all over me xxx


  • Options
    #76
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    I might as well be honest and say I have an ulterior motive for starting this thread. The one leading on the guy or vice versa is sending me doirty texts. I wouldn't make a move because I feel bad for the guy but I wonder what's going on in her head?


  • Options
    #77
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    I might as well be honest and say I have an ulterior motive for starting this thread. The one leading on the guy or vice versa is sending me doirty texts. I wouldn't make a move because I feel bad for the guy but I wonder what's going on in her head?

    Very little I imagine.

    Ego boost, both of you.


  • Options
    #78
    Sir Arthur Daley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,720 ✭✭✭Sir Arthur Daley


    The winner takes it all.


  • Options
    #79
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    I might as well be honest and say I have an ulterior motive for starting this thread. The one leading on the guy or vice versa is sending me doirty texts. I wouldn't make a move because I feel bad for the guy but I wonder what's going on in her head?


    I'm damned if I know, but given the way you know she behaves, why would you even waste your time trying to figure her out. The simplest explanation I can think of anyway is that she sees you as another mug who will entertain her nonsense , and so far eddy, she's not wrong, as far as I can see anyway.


  • Options
    #80
    livemusic4life
    Registered Users Posts: 394 ✭✭livemusic4life


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    I will buy you presents and drive you everywhere to meet your real boyfriend and generally let you walk all over me xxx

    I wouldn't do that to anyone :eek:


  • Options
    #81
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    Candie wrote: »
    Very little I imagine.

    Ego boost, both of you.

    It's not doing my ego any good. I know she's just looking for attention. Some leap you're making there.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #82
    Macavity.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,745 ✭✭✭Macavity.


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    It's not doing my ego any good. I know she's just looking for attention. Some leap you're making there.

    I think she means the other dude, as in both of you are an ego boost for her.


  • Options
    #83
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    I'm damned if I know, but given the way you know she behaves, why would you even waste your time trying to figure her out. The simplest explanation I can think of anyway is that she sees you as another mug who will entertain her nonsense , and so far eddy, she's not wrong, as far as I can see anyway.

    C I'm getting pics from her. I'm not sending any back and I had her figured out the minute I set eyes on her. I just wonder is she trying to make your man jealous.


  • Options
    #84
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    Macavity. wrote: »
    I think she means the other dude, as in both of you are an ego boost for her.

    Ah right I was thinking she wants to make him jealous or something.


  • Options
    #85
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    It's not doing my ego any good. I know she's just looking for attention. Some leap you're making there.

    No, she's getting the ego boost from two guys attention.


  • Options
    #86
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    C I'm getting pics from her. I'm not sending any back and I had her figured out the minute I set eyes on her. I just wonder is she trying to make your man jealous.


    eddy you can fill your boots with pictures of naked women on the internet. I doubt she particularly cares about what anyone but herself thinks tbh. It's not rocket science we're talking about here!


    I just hope we're not talking about a student in your class either, best for your own career that you don't get mixed up in that nonsense. Just text her back and tell her put some clothes on, then leave it at that.


  • Options
    #87
    Sir Arthur Daley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,720 ✭✭✭Sir Arthur Daley


    The loser's standing small.


  • Options
    #88
    WilyCoyote
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,059 ✭✭✭WilyCoyote


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    eddy you can fill your boots with pictures of naked women on the internet. I doubt she particularly cares about what anyone but herself thinks tbh. It's not rocket science we're talking about here!


    I just hope we're not talking about a student in your class either, best for your own career that you don't get mixed up in that nonsense. Just text her back and tell her put some clothes on, then leave it at that.

    I hope you're being sarcastic! After all, it could be a fella named Dwayne from Phucket


  • Options
    #89
    ardle1
    Registered Users Posts: 1,521 ✭✭✭ardle1


    As soon as you realise, 'she's treating you mean to keep you keen'....... Just go along with the childish bitch until you get your wicked way, then be really cold and distant(you will find this difficult as I'm sure your a genuine nice guy), but stick with it, she will be hurt and feel used, don't worry about that, continue the game that 'she' started until she stops contact, she will have matured a little bit by the end of 'her' game... In the mean time you continue your search for a genuine 'woman'.


  • Options
    #90
    RDM_83 again
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,116 ✭✭✭RDM_83 again


    Being mean to keep them clean is way to simplistic.
    The DENNIS system is where its at :pac:



  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #91
    pq0n1ct4ve8zf5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,070 ✭✭✭✭pq0n1ct4ve8zf5


    Not sure about the DENNIS system, mostly because of...the implication :pac:


Advertisement