Inappropriate things you've laughed at

smash · 29-02-2012 10:41am

mikemac1 wrote: »

And Tipp people do not speak like that.

heard on the radio this morning it's been officially voted the worst accent in Ireland. Don't know how, unless the people doing the poll never went to Kerry.

fryup · 29-02-2012 10:49am

i always found this scene funny

am i sick in the head??

smash · 29-02-2012 10:58am

fryup wrote: »

i always found this scene funny

am i sick in the head??

This one's better http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bonw1xOF-I

fryup · 29-02-2012 11:34am

frozenfrozen wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcmbOOkUVuI

don't mean to burst anyone's bubble but its fake

its a sketch from a comedy show

token101 · 29-02-2012 12:30pm

I had a boss in an Irish bar in the UK who was from the 'wesht', so every single 's' he said was pronounced 'sh'. So there was a guy in the Irish community who died and people all turn up to the Irish pub afterwards for drinks, food, etc. So one man was a bit upset and the guy who owns the bar comes over to tell us that the man was crying and he went upstairs to where we kept kegs etc to sit down as he didn't want to be seen by the family crying. What the boss said was: 'Mick has just gone upstairs to the keg room and sat down for himself'. We had a young English girl behind the bar who clearly heard wrong and wasn't the brightest, who replied to me quietly in a thick Brummie accent: "Ugggh, well I'll be ****ed if I'm clearing up that ****ing mess. That's so disgusting. What kind of idiot gets so drunk and ****s themselves at a funeral?". I didn't get it for about 10-20 seconds, but when it clicked I could barely hold it together, but I said she had to at least bring him some toilet roll.... and she went up!!!

After about ten minutes she came back down VERY embarrassed and absolutely raging. She explained how she had knocked on the door and asked if he wanted some toilet roll, which would have actually been OK given the fact Mick was crying but she also said....if she should ask someone to go to his house and get him a clean pair of pants! She said he asked why he would need them and then it slowly dawned on both of them what she thought and what was actually going on were a bit different. He actually thought it was funny, and he told the boss and they took the piss out of the girl for the rest of the time I was there!! But when she told me immediately after, I really couldn't breath for about 2 or 3 minutes :pac:

Boro · 29-02-2012 12:30pm

Was with the folks in Tenerife a good few years back, last family holiday before flying the nest and all that. Got rat arsed the first night there and had a big dirty indian too for good measure. Anyway the next morning we go get into a cable car to head up to the peak there (inactive volcano) and I just cant stop dropping the most hideous farts ever. The windows were all closed and everyone was looked rather disgusted and uncomfortable. I thought I managed to hide it was me well enough but when we got out of the cable car at the end, there was a gust of wind and a huge smell of sulfur came from the volcano - everyone just turned and stared at me and I burst out laughing.

reminds me of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydTPkb6rqAg

frozenfrozen · 29-02-2012 2:25pm

fryup wrote: »

don't mean to burst anyone's bubble but its fake

its a sketch from a comedy show

That's no secret, it's still great though.

cynder · 16-03-2012 10:18pm

An old guy choking on his false teeth.

Had to have an op to remove them on xmas day...

Foghladh · 16-03-2012 10:38pm

I was an altar boy in school and had to serve at a funeral mass one day.
I was standing there in the cathedral, in front of the coffin holding the big cross and facing the grieving family. Next thing I spotted a mouse just toddling around under the first row of seats. I nearly wet myself.
I still remember the family looking at me and the priest had to come down and tell me to shut up. I just couldn't stop sniggering though.
I was the first altar boy in the school to be fecked out of the team

Princess Peach · 16-03-2012 10:41pm

Oh God....

A friend of mine is mad into supporting those stupid causes on Facebook and one day I was having a rant about it to someone. She had put a link to a baby with no hands with the caption "Every baby deserves to be loved" or something. The rant receiver laughed and said "Haha baby can't hold his bottle."

I laughed for literally an hour.

Straight to hell for me, unless this counts as confession. Which I really don't think it does.

RobbingBandit · 16-03-2012 10:52pm

I got fcuked out of class for telling this one in secondary school.

Why were the 1940s Jews considered bad at school,

because they were sent to concentration camp!

senorwipesalot · 16-03-2012 10:56pm

I nearly pissed myself laughing at yer man on the news tonight dancing on stage for the paddys day festival, falling over doing a jig.
Ha ha clumsy cnut.

Alias G · 16-03-2012 11:02pm

I started giggling at the corpse of my Grandfather. It was just a nervous reaction as I was in my early teens and had never seen a dead body before but it was certainly an inappropriate reaction.

zuppy11 · 13-05-2012 11:07pm

token101 wrote: »

I had a boss in an Irish bar in the UK who was from the 'wesht', so every single 's' he said was pronounced 'sh'. So there was a guy in the Irish community who died and people all turn up to the Irish pub afterwards for drinks, food, etc. So one man was a bit upset and the guy who owns the bar comes over to tell us that the man was crying and he went upstairs to where we kept kegs etc to sit down as he didn't want to be seen by the family crying. What the boss said was: 'Mick has just gone upstairs to the keg room and sat down for himself'. We had a young English girl behind the bar who clearly heard wrong and wasn't the brightest, who replied to me quietly in a thick Brummie accent: "Ugggh, well I'll be ****ed if I'm clearing up that ****ing mess. That's so disgusting. What kind of idiot gets so drunk and ****s themselves at a funeral?". I didn't get it for about 10-20 seconds, but when it clicked I could barely hold it together, but I said she had to at least bring him some toilet roll.... and she went up!!!

After about ten minutes she came back down VERY embarrassed and absolutely raging. She explained how she had knocked on the door and asked if he wanted some toilet roll, which would have actually been OK given the fact Mick was crying but she also said....if she should ask someone to go to his house and get him a clean pair of pants! She said he asked why he would need them and then it slowly dawned on both of them what she thought and what was actually going on were a bit different. He actually thought it was funny, and he told the boss and they took the piss out of the girl for the rest of the time I was there!! But when she told me immediately after, I really couldn't breath for about 2 or 3 minutes :pac:

Good one! How used you get the kegs upstairs? I'm building a small pub and i want to put the keg room upstairs. Obviously tricky to get kegs up to first floor though!

languagenerd · 13-05-2012 11:52pm

I have a terrible habit of laughing when you're not supposed to laugh, and then I just can't stop. Often happens when everyone else is silent and it's really noticeable, like in the church (like most people here, it seems!) and in classes. Things that wouldn't be funny in any other context, but because you can't laugh, it just seems hilarious.

-Recent (small) lecture: extreeemely boring module taught by an old man, no-one understands what's going on as yer man has just been writing Latin words all over the board. He then writes up "CUM" and circles it, followed by "NOBISCUM" (pronounced "Knobby scum"). The room has been completely silent until this point and now about 10 of us are choking and trying to turn laughter into a cough.

-Another lecture: the lecturer is talking about fighting roosters (a sport in Latin America), but referring to them as "fighting cocks". "And the cock that he has is considered the best one in the town, it's bound to make him money"... "He gives out to the children who come to the house just to stare at his cock" etc.

So immature, but I can't help it

Probably isn't an inappropriate thing to laugh at, but it is an inappropriate context to be laughing in :P.

Also when people have had a bad flu etc. and they're really hoarse/deep-voiced for a couple weeks. First time I hear them speak like that I have to bite my lip and try to fake a sneeze/coughing fit

herisson · 14-05-2012 12:39am

languagenerd wrote: »

I have a terrible habit of laughing when you're not supposed to laugh, and then I just can't stop. Often happens when everyone else is silent and it's really noticeable, like in the church (like most people here, it seems!) and in classes. Things that wouldn't be funny in any other context, but because you can't laugh, it just seems hilarious.

-Recent (small) lecture: extreeemely boring module taught by an old man, no-one understands what's going on as yer man has just been writing Latin words all over the board. He then writes up "CUM" and circles it, followed by "NOBISCUM" (pronounced "Knobby scum"). The room has been completely silent until this point and now about 10 of us are choking and trying to turn laughter into a cough.

-Another lecture: the lecturer is talking about fighting roosters (a sport in Latin America), but referring to them as "fighting cocks". "And the cock that he has is considered the best one in the town, it's bound to make him money"... "He gives out to the children who come to the house just to stare at his cock" etc.

So immature, but I can't help it Probably isn't an inappropriate thing to laugh at, but it is an inappropriate context to be laughing in :P.

Also when people have had a bad flu etc. and they're really hoarse/deep-voiced for a couple weeks. First time I hear them speak like that I have to bite my lip and try to fake a sneeze/coughing fit

similar thing happened to me in a lecture last semester
We were talking about blood sports in ireland...particularly about cock fighting!
Good God im surprised i didnt wet myself laughing and i dont even know why i found it so funny
It went like this.....

"They loved fighting with cocks"
"Men with their cocks...fighting"
"Look at them there...standing with their cocks out"

yes i know its childish but it was just so funny

kowloon · 14-05-2012 2:06am

marcsignal wrote: »

It's from a movie called 'Escape from Sobibor', a true story as it happens. Ordinarily I wouldn'd find it funny, and I like my bad jokes, even holocaust ones, but on a thread like this in AH the rules are, there are few rules.

The film is public domain, so anyone interested can download it for free. (legally)

fasttalkerchat · 14-05-2012 2:33am

Since we're on the subject of mass...
When my cousins came down from belfast for the weekend we always had mad craic. One time in particular I walked 3 mile to my grannies when they were round and arrived just in time for MASS... great!

But that didn't stop the fun. Me and the cousin my age spent the whole time trying to get the two younger ones (11 year old twin boys) to laugh.
We got a few sniggers out of them until one bowed his head to suppress a giggle and whacked his forehead full force off the pew. We all burst out laughing and the four of us had to be marched out in single file by granda.

janja · 14-05-2012 2:46am

frozenfrozen wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcmbOOkUVuI

Although so so so bloody cruel , i cant help finding this hilarious! Watched it about 10 times now ...... cheers me up no end! You know the feeling you are just in a mad giggly mood and cant control it ,

Winston Payne · 14-05-2012 2:52am

janja wrote: »

Although so so so bloody cruel , i cant help finding this hilarious! Watched it about 10 times now ...... cheers me up no end! You know the feeling you are just in a mad giggly mood and cant control it ,

Funny, but it's faked.

LH Pathe · 14-05-2012 2:56am

They say special people were put on this earth to make us smile, so do the honour and don't patronizingly polarize them with sympathy but get on their wavelength. I wasn't laughing at him, but with him who is this 'thing' you refer to btw? We iz all the same people be it colour/ creed / IQ

IM0 · 14-05-2012 2:58am

and we talking about laughing to yourself [in your head] or propper laughing and giggling? in my head there is nothing out of bounds, but when there are other people around I make a quick check with myself and go for it if I feel its safe enough :cool:

1ZRed · 14-05-2012 3:01am

When a 6y/o girl ran full speed into a sliding door that had several big red stickers that said "caution" on it!

Simi · 14-05-2012 3:11am

Was at work once, chatting with one of my coworkers when a huge black guy walked past the shop window, carrying an unboxed big screen TV in his hands. We both just sort of looked at each other and then erupted into laughter.

Another time (different work place) a girl picked up a leaking carton of milk from the shelf and spilled it all over her face & down her top. Just started pissing myself. Had to go hide out the back until she was gone.

My friend & I were walking through college one day and we passed a black midget dressed in lab coat, who was the spit of Gary Coleman, somehow managed to make it round the corner out of sight before we started laughing.

Morlar · 14-05-2012 3:44am

I always laugh at the most inappropriate times.

I remember as a kid a neighbour of mine had a wife who was heavily pregnant & he needed to go ring the ambulance, so he trotted off down the road to another neighbours house (not everyone had phones back then).

So, being in a hurry he decided to jump over the garden wall into the garden of the house which had the phone. He slightly misjudged the jump and fell back onto the street side landing on his head, smacking his head pretty hard against the concrete on the footpath. He was ko'd and instantly began very loudly snoring in the middle of the street in broad daylight. I was creased up laughing at this, meanwhile everyone else was rushing to his aid, I think they needed 2 ambulances in the end (one for him and one for the wife). Could not stop laughing about that the entire time.

Another time, selling newspapers as a kid - we used to travel around in a van, a friend of mine also selling newspapers decided to jump on the back bumper of the van till the next stop, rather than get in the van like the rest of us. He decided to stand on the rear bumper and hold onto the roof with his fingernails. The driver didn't know he was there and drove off, cue me creased up in the back of the van looking out the back window at my mate hanging on for dear life. After a while he decided to chance it and let go & jump, trying to instantly run very very fast when he hit the ground, needless to say he pancaked on the road and I was again in a ball laughing.

Another one I remember was as a kid also selling papers round the doors, this time with a local psycho taking alternate houses each. This guy decided to jump over a front garden gate rather than open it. Clips his toe on the gate and goes flat on his face, cue me laughing my head off and hiding in the doorway of the next house (knowing this guy was a total psycho), anyway some kids across the road also see him fall and burst out laughing, so he ran over and started beating them up too (which I also thought was hilarious at the time).

ViveLaVie · 14-05-2012 3:46am

When I was in school, years ago, my best friend came into school bawling crying cos her kitten got rolled over. I actually roared laughing. I laughed so hard I started to cry as she launched into the explanation of how their mother accidentally rolled over its head on the way to school. It was just the way she said it...

I have a habit of laughing in extremely inappropriate situations.

ViveLaVie · 14-05-2012 3:48am

Morlar wrote: »

I always laugh at the most inappropriate times.

I remember as a kid a neighbour of mine had a wife who was heavily pregnant & he needed to go ring the ambulance, so he trotted off down the road to another neighbours house (not everyone had phones back then).

So, being in a hurry he decided to jump over the garden wall into the garden of the house which had the phone. He slightly misjudged the jump and fell back onto the street side landing on his head, smacking his head pretty hard against the concrete on the footpath. He was ko'd and instantly began very loudly snoring in the middle of the street in broad daylight. I was creased up laughing at this, meanwhile everyone else was rushing to his aid, I think they needed 2 ambulances in the end (one for him and one for the wife). Could not stop laughing about that the entire time.

Another time, selling newspapers as a kid - we used to travel around in a van, a friend of mine also selling newspapers decided to jump on the back bumper of the van till the next stop, rather than get in the van like the rest of us. He decided to stand on the rear bumper and hold onto the roof with his fingernails. The driver didn't know he was there and drove off, cue me creased up in the back of the van looking out the back window at my mate hanging on for dear life. After a while he decided to chance it and let go & jump, trying to instantly run very very fast when he hit the ground, needless to say he pancaked on the road and I was again in a ball laughing.

Another one I remember was as a kid also selling papers round the doors, this time with a local psycho taking alternate houses each. This guy decided to jump over a front garden gate rather than open it. Clips his toe on the gate and goes flat on his face, cue me laughing my head off and hiding in the doorway of the next house (knowing this guy was a total psycho), anyway some kids across the road also see him fall and burst out laughing, so he ran over and started beating them up too (which I also thought was hilarious at the time).

Just burst out laughing at all of them!

Susie_Q · 14-05-2012 7:37am

Morlar wrote: »

After a while he decided to chance it and let go & jump, trying to instantly run very very fast when he hit the ground, needless to say he pancaked on the road and I was again in a ball laughing.

I just thanked you for your ingenius use of the word 'pancake' as a verb. Kudos.

toexpress · 14-05-2012 8:52am

When I was told my Grandmother had died I cracked up laughing.

Now to be fair she was an all merciful bitch! But that wasn't the reason I laughed (that was the reason I cracked a bottle of Dom) we had all been in the nursing home all week and one relative kept coming up to the waiting area saying "she's gone, she's gone". Said relative is a home help but thinks she is a neurosurgeon so when she came up this time I basically roared laughing ... turned out the old witch was actually dead this time. My mother and I felt kinda bad after it

I also laughed the time she passed out in our kitchen after a Sunday lunch, again my mother joined me in our roaring of laughing ... when we copped it was slightly more serious we again might have felt slightly bad ... I think I went to see her in the hospital that time

danniemcq · 14-05-2012 10:24am

Few years back in Galway myself and a mate were sitting outside the hospital while another mate was inside getting his ankle x-rayed. Anyway we were sitting outside as we got kinda red eyed and were munching a super macs.

Then an ambulance pulled up. All silent and somber. Woman gets out obviously distraught and goes to the back of the ambulance where she is met by the paramedics and an elderly woman is rolled out on a trolley.

Things didn't look good.

My mate leans over to me and whispers in my ear "wouldn't it be terrible if we started laughing". I just managed to say you prick before the giggles started for the 2 of us. The trolley had to be rolled by us as we were right beside the door.

Oh I know that’s a massive mark against me on the karma scale and I will always grit my teeth when I think of this but you woulda done the same!

baltimore sun · 14-05-2012 10:29am

When I heard Michael Jackson died

CruelCoin · 14-05-2012 11:14am

I laugh everytime i splatter a bird or rabbit with my car.

Country around here is infested with the bastards. I worry about myself sometimes, after i caught myself aiming for them...

Nervous Wreck · 14-05-2012 11:43am

I once saw my boss call Mary McAleese a pig to her face. Probably never laughed so hard.

aaronjumper · 14-05-2012 12:24pm

I was watching 22 bullets the other day and near the start of the movie a small dog gets blown away by a close range shotgun blast.

My mother and sister were in shock. Me and my father thought it was so funny we rewound it and watched it again. Just something about that scene.

king_kong_ill · 14-05-2012 12:28pm

guy once told me he had cancer of the balls and i burst out laughing , i was twenty at the time , was the way he told it

kylith · 14-05-2012 12:31pm

Was at a funeral recently and, when viewing the body, I couldn't suppress the feeling that they were going to jump out of the coffin shouting 'Boo!'. Everyone thought I was distraught, but I was actually trying to suppress the giggles.

fasttalkerchat · 14-05-2012 1:31pm

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

I once saw my boss call Mary McAleese a pig to her face. Probably never laughed so hard.

Please share that story!

rgmmg · 14-05-2012 2:19pm

Three of us (me and two lads called Daithi and Gary) in the office were on a video call with the my manager's manager's manager (a big cheese!)! She was American and was late to the call, so we'd been waiting for her about 15 minutes. Her opening line was "Sorry for being late guys, but I've blown Gary off three times already today." I tried to keep somewhat of a straight face and replied "Really?" while the other two moved out of camera shot and were bent over double cracking up. I couldn't hold it but thankfully one of the lads closed the connection.

Duggy747 · 14-05-2012 2:23pm

Bunch of women came into my shop and while I was talking to one of them the other behind her let out a ripper of a fart.

I looked at her, she went red, and I started going pink in the face trying not to laugh as I tried to continue talking to the other girl. My face probably looked like I put a 1000 sour sweets in my mouth....................until I got the rancid smell to which my face probably looked like I put a 1000 shìts in my mouth.

Crooked Jack · 14-05-2012 2:24pm

I was at my uncle's funeral standing at the graveside. He was a bit of a messer and not really one for mass or anything like that. Anyway, the priest started reading this passage from the bible that went something like "an so Jesus carried his yolk and his yolk was heavy," Michael would have pissed himself laughing at that and I couldnt stop giggling. Think I managed to disguise it as crying but I still got a few dirty looks.

BizzyC · 14-05-2012 3:44pm

At my Grandad's removal years back, I was in the funeral home with my cousin and we were sitting with the family while people came around to offer their condolences.

Since they were all friends of my Grandad who lived down the country, none of them knew us, so they were all asking who we were, usual answer was "My name is X, I'm X's son".

For some reason though toward the end my cousin got confused and blurted out "I am Shane, son of John!".

Two of us were in stiches in the corner while everyone else was completely somber.
Felt very guilty afterward...

Cassidy28 · 14-05-2012 3:47pm

Winston Payne wrote: »

Funny, but it's faked.

:eek::D

saa · 14-05-2012 3:49pm

When I was in my teens I called up to a friends house and she opened the door, her mother was making her way out this friend of mine said "the popes died" and I laughed.

I just didn't know what to say whoops, her mother thought I was some kind of demon child henceforth.

janja · 14-05-2012 4:40pm

Winston Payne wrote: »

Funny, but it's faked.

Really ,I heard he was sacked because of it!

Inappropriate things you've laughed at

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