LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Call Me Jimmy · 25-06-2013 2:23pm

Yes I have paid 70 and more for one-hour sessions.

If you are familiar with mindfulness I would just say that you know how they say you will lose focus on your breath but that is a natural condition of the mind. Just bring your attention back. I think the same can be said on a larger scale. You will lose focus of your 'recovery efforts' from time to time and instead of saying 'oh crap' say that it is part of the cyclical nature of things and just re-focus like the breathing exercises.

I too have lost a lot of focus and am in a terrible cycle of nothingness. I know it will pass and I am even considering going to an acting class today just to give myself a psychological, well-meaning kick up the hole.

My attitude at the moment is that I will just present my brain with new situations and let it deal with the events as they unfold in front of it.

Call Me Jimmy · 25-06-2013 2:49pm

And just to show the nature of my problem, I was get-up-and-go a few minutes ago and I looked in the mirror now and feel like how am I going to fill my time alone until I die.

Sigh sigh ****ing sigh.

delthedriver · 25-06-2013 2:56pm

Hi folks,

I am that soldier too!

A recurrent theme emerges from the posts, being our doggedness to get well again which is extremely admirable. None of us are quitters. Our paths to getting better may differ slightly whether it may be the meds route, CBT, psychologists, Psychiatrists or a combination of all.

One thing we must be mindful of is not to push ourselves beyond our tolerance limits be it mentally or physically.

I cannot emphasise often enough to listen to ourselves whether psychologically or physically, accept our limits on any particular day and respect those limits.

To use a very old expression our bodies and minds are temples, which we must learn to respect. If we are feeling low on a particular day, go with the flow, take it easy, these feelings will pass.

An example, yesterday I played golf, and played well for the first seven holes, wow my confidence was great . Tiredness, both mental and physical took over,for the next four holes I considered chucking my clubs into the ocean. I sat out a couple more holes, wishing I had not gone out golfing at all. With the brain back in gear I finished the round scoring on each of the last 4 holes.

The point I am making is that I recognised my limits, decided to be kind to myself by travelling in the buggy ,sipping ice tea ,and admiring the ocean views.At the end of the day my golf score did not matter, whilst I was playing golf with two other guys I was really only competing with myself. We later had dinner in the clubhouse and all agree we had a great day out.

It is so important to see the signals when your body and mind is becoming over stretched, kick back , take stock , live in the now and most of all be extremely kind to yourself.

So for the runners amongst us I say be very careful not to cause physical injury to your joints and back in the quest to complete the 10k. So what if you complete the course in a slightly slower time , you are competing against yourself. Arrive across the finish line in a good time, with your physical and psychological health in one piece and savour the moment of achieving your goal of completing your 10 k. There is absolutely no need to inflict more pain by picking up joint injuries therefore further damaging your health.

Be kind to yourself and enjoy life.:)

roseybear · 25-06-2013 3:06pm

delthedriver wrote: »

Hi folks,

I am that soldier too!

A recurrent theme emerges from the posts, being our doggedness to get well again which is extremely admirable. None of us are quitters. Our paths to getting better may differ slightly whether it may be the meds route, CBT, psychologists, Psychiatrists or a combination of all.

One thing we must be mindful of is not to push ourselves beyond our tolerance limits be it mentally or physically.

I cannot emphasise often enough to listen to ourselves whether psychologically or physically, accept our limits on any particular day and respect those limits.

To use a very old expression our bodies and minds are temples, which we must learn to respect. If we are feeling low on a particular day, go with the flow, take it easy, these feelings will pass.

An example, yesterday I played golf, and played well for the first seven holes, wow my confidence was great . Tiredness, both mental and physical took over,for the next four holes I considered chucking my clubs into the ocean. I sat out a couple more holes, wishing I had not gone out golfing at all. With the brain back in gear I finished the round scoring on each of the last 4 holes.

The point I am making is that I recognised my limits, decided to be kind to myself by travelling in the buggy ,sipping ice tea ,and admiring the ocean views.At the end of the day my golf score did not matter, whilst I was playing golf with two other guys I was really only competing with myself. We later had dinner in the clubhouse and all agree we had a great day out.

It is so important to see the signals when your body and mind is becoming over stretched, kick back , take stock , live in the now and most of all be extremely kind to yourself.

So for the runners amongst us I say be very careful not to cause physical injury to your joints and back in the quest to complete the 10k. So what if you complete the course in a slightly slower time , you are competing against yourself. Arrive across the finish line in a good time, with your physical and psychological health in one piece and savour the moment of achieving your goal of completing your 10 k. There is absolutely no need to inflict more pain by picking up joint injuries therefore further damaging your health.

Be kind to yourself and enjoy life.:)

I would add to the runners, try run without a stop watch, see how u feel. I find I can do this easily now but just try it...

delthedriver · 25-06-2013 3:08pm

Ruudi_Mentari wrote: »

I dread myself; dreading the thought that the people I might encounter will dread me which is just dreadfully depressing. Is a vicious circle.

Don't be so hard on yourself. You're are an intelligent human being. Why do you care so much about how people may view you.
My attitude is **** them! I am who I am . I no longer give a **** about what they may think of me. I now put myself first and get on with my life.
You must do the same, whilst at the same time being kind to yourself. You absolutely must adopt this attitude to protect yourself.
Enjoy life!:)

25-06-2013 3:19pm

€70 an hour for counselling is outrageous! :eek: I'm on a waiting list for CBT over here in the UK but it's likely I'll only be living here for another two months when my MSc will be finished. For money reasons I'll then have no choice but to move back home which I'm dreading (my parents always do their best for me but they live in a rural area and I always feel isolated when I'm there). By the time I'll be accepted for CBT I'm afraid I'll be on a plane home.

I'm feeling extremely low today, just don't feel like talking to anyone. And yet looking at photos of friends on Facebook, doing stuff I was never told about or invited to, makes me long for someone to just hang out with. I got my exam results yesterday and failed one; I knew it was coming, and even though I don't have to resit it because I have enough credits to pass I still feel crappy because I know that my health problems interfered and led me to that bad result; unfortunately you can't exactly prove that and they won't entertain any notion of this being taken into account. If I had been smarter, or thought clearer, I would have avoided that exam on the day, got a doctor's note and done the resit. But of course, as per usual, my brain was frazzled and my ability to think clearly deserted me when I needed it. :rolleyes: My average is 65% and I could still get a distinction if I get 75% in my dissertation but right now that seems like an impossible task. I keep procrastinating and put off starting my project because I fear it'll be too difficult, that I won't be able for it and that whatever first attempt I make will just be full of rubbish.

My counsellor warned me about procrastination and perfectionism going hand in hand but I still don't know how to defeat them. I just have to hope I'll be in better form tomorrow 'cause there's no way I can face doing anything today other than lying in bed.

I'm getting blood tests on Thursday because I fear there may be something physically wrong with me. I seem to lack energy much more frequently now and will go through cycles of being awake for 25-30 hours at a time, then sleeping for 14-16 hours. I just want a "normal" life (no such thing, I know) where I'm able to get up every morning, do some work, hang out with friends and go to bed feeling content. Why on earth is that so difficult?

Also I have a problem with my meds, they're making me sweat an awful lot. Even walking to the shop and carrying home a bag of groceries will leave my forehead and my back covered in sweat. Now that it's summer it's gonna be even worse. It makes me feel really embarrassed and awkward during social occasions, or even just when I'm walking to and from university as I'm constantly worried people will notice and think that I'm just really unhygienic and disgusting or something.

delthedriver · 25-06-2013 3:23pm

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

And just to show the nature of my problem, I was get-up-and-go a few minutes ago and I looked in the mirror now and feel like how am I going to fill my time alone until I die.

Sigh sigh ****ing sigh.

Jimmy, there is great big world out there for you to explore.

Go for it man!

Best Regards,

Del

starling · 25-06-2013 3:27pm

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

And just to show the nature of my problem, I was get-up-and-go a few minutes ago and I looked in the mirror now and feel like how am I going to fill my time alone until I die.

Sigh sigh ****ing sigh.

Gah it is frustrating how suddenly our moods can change isnt it!
In my case it tends to be external things like an unpleasant interaction can ruin my mood for hours while a nice one can lift my spirits dramatically. I am working on not being too easily influenced by the people around me and looking to myself to maintain my mood:)
I have made good progress with not letting other peoples issues or behaviour affect me too much and I think I've become much less vulnerable to that kind of thing than I used to be when I was younger. I know I have much more confidence now and give less of a fcuk what other people think:pac:

Ruudi_Mentari · 25-06-2013 3:31pm

delthedriver wrote: »

Don't be so hard on yourself. You're are an intelligent human being. Why do you care so much about how people may view you.
My attitude is **** them! I am who I am . I no longer give a **** about what they may think of me. I now put myself first and get on with my life.
You must do the same, whilst at the same time being kind to yourself. You absolutely must adopt this attitude to protect yourself.
Enjoy life!:)

Yer dead right though. Am gona crack on with things and get my shìt together, hopefully and you know what I feel a transition of sorts coming anyhow so am gonna hopefully work on it. Even for just my own peace of mind.... Cheers ;-

delthedriver · 25-06-2013 3:34pm

Deleted User wrote: »

€70 an hour for counselling is outrageous! :eek: I'm on a waiting list for CBT over here in the UK but it's likely I'll only be living here for another two months when my MSc will be finished. For money reasons I'll then have no choice but to move back home which I'm dreading (my parents always do their best for me but they live in a rural area and I always feel isolated when I'm there). By the time I'll be accepted for CBT I'm afraid I'll be on a plane home.

I'm feeling extremely low today, just don't feel like talking to anyone. And yet looking at photos of friends on Facebook, doing stuff I was never told about or invited to, makes me long for someone to just hang out with. I got my exam results yesterday and failed one; I knew it was coming, and even though I don't have to resit it because I have enough credits to pass I still feel crappy because I know that my health problems interfered and led me to that bad result; unfortunately you can't exactly prove that and they won't entertain any notion of this being taken into account. If I had been smarter, or thought clearer, I would have avoided that exam on the day, got a doctor's note and done the resit. But of course, as per usual, my brain was frazzled and my ability to think clearly deserted me when I needed it. :rolleyes: My average is 65% and I could still get a distinction if I get 75% in my dissertation but right now that seems like an impossible task. I keep procrastinating and put off starting my project because I fear it'll be too difficult, that I won't be able for it and that whatever first attempt I make will just be full of rubbish. My counsellor warned me about procrastination and perfectionism going hand in hand but I still don't know how to defeat them. I just have to hope I'll be in better form tomorrow 'cause there's no way I can face doing anything today other than lying in bed.

I'm getting blood tests on Thursday because I fear there may be something physically wrong with me. I seem to lack energy much more frequently now and will go through cycles of being awake for 25-30 hours at a time, then sleeping for 14-16 hours. I just want a "normal" life (no such thing, I know) where I'm able to get up every morning, do some work, hang out with friends and go to bed feeling content. Why on earth is that so difficult?

Also I have a problem with my meds, they're making me sweat an awful lot. Even walking to the shop and carrying home a bag of groceries will leave my forehead and my back covered in sweat. Now that it's summer it's gonna be even worse. It makes me feel really embarrassed and awkward during social occasions, or even just when I'm walking to and from university as I'm constantly worried people will notice and think that I'm just really unhygienic and disgusting or something.

Homer,
Certain meds including Effexor can cause very heavy sweating. Please don't worry Too much . Having been that soldier, when I had to shower 3 or 4 times per day,I can assure you that very few people will notice, particularly as sweating occurs to everyone during the Summer months. Try drinking more
water to replace the loss of excess fluids,and stay hydrated,have a chat with your doctor about an alternative medication. Antiperspirant, deodorants, and good old fashioned talcum powder can ease the discomfort
Del:)

starling · 25-06-2013 3:43pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

€70 an hour for counselling is outrageous! :eek: I'm on a waiting list for CBT over here in the UK but it's likely I'll only be living here for another two months when my MSc will be finished. For money reasons I'll then have no choice but to move back home which I'm dreading (my parents always do their best for me but they live in a rural area and I always feel isolated when I'm there). By the time I'll be accepted for CBT I'm afraid I'll be on a plane home.

I'm feeling extremely low today, just don't feel like talking to anyone. And yet looking at photos of friends on Facebook, doing stuff I was never told about or invited to, makes me long for someone to just hang out with.

Looking on facebook can be really depressing, like Dev mentioned people tend to put good stuff up but not the bad stuff. Take stuff with a pinch of salt. Just because there are a bunch of photos of a party on fb doesn't necessarily mean you would have enjoyed it:) If you have the time what with your studying why not just call up a mate and say "fancy a pint" or whatever?

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I got my exam results yesterday and failed one; I knew it was coming, and even though I don't have to resit it because I have enough credits to pass I still feel crappy because I know that my health problems interfered and led me to that bad result; unfortunately you can't exactly prove that and they won't entertain any notion of this being taken into account. If I had been smarter, or thought clearer, I would have avoided that exam on the day, got a doctor's note and done the resit. But of course, as per usual, my brain was frazzled and my ability to think clearly deserted me when I needed it. :rolleyes: My average is 65% and I could still get a distinction if I get 75% in my dissertation but right now that seems like an impossible task. I keep procrastinating and put off starting my project because I fear it'll be too difficult, that I won't be able for it and that whatever first attempt I make will just be full of rubbish. My counsellor warned me about procrastination and perfectionism going hand in hand but I still don't know how to defeat them. I just have to hope I'll be in better form tomorrow 'cause there's no way I can face doing anything today other than lying in bed.

I know that tune:( What sometimes helps me is if I don't feel able to to x thing, ill do things to prepare for doing it. Like maybe in your case setting out your work area or desk, or gathering/organising the relevant notes, with the idea that when you do feel ready all you have to do is go sit at the desk and everything will be ready. Or maybe there is some other way for you to use the "preparing to do it" principle that fits in with your own circumstances and way of working.

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I'm getting blood tests on Thursday because I fear there may be something physically wrong with me. I seem to lack energy much more frequently now and will go through cycles of being awake for 25-30 hours at a time, then sleeping for 14-16 hours. I just want a "normal" life (no such thing, I know) where I'm able to get up every morning, do some work, hang out with friends and go to bed feeling content. Why on earth is that so difficult?

Also I have a problem with my meds, they're making me sweat an awful lot. Even walking to the shop and carrying home a bag of groceries will leave my forehead and my back covered in sweat. Now that it's summer it's gonna be even worse. It makes me feel really embarrassed and awkward during social occasions, or even just when I'm walking to and from university as I'm constantly worried people will notice and think that I'm just really unhygienic and disgusting or something.

fcuk them;) No seriously sweating in itself is not unhygienic or disgusting. I know a lot of people find it very embarrasing but as long as you're washing yourself it's not unhygienic. Keep in mind the difference between fresh sweat and BO, just because you're sweating doesn't mean you're not clean:)

delthedriver · 25-06-2013 4:15pm

Hi Folks,

Just a whacky thought.!

Would it be a nice idea to have a get together between now and the end of the year.

I don't envisage an event which is going to cost people a fortune either.

I am thinking along an informal get together?

Your thoughts or feedback would be appreciated. If you think I am losing the run of myself , please don't be afraid to say so

Best Regards,

Del

Turtwig · 25-06-2013 4:20pm

Regarding facebook..:D
Facebook is like photographs for special occasions. Everyone put up their best face and posture for them but it's usually very fake and shallow representation of the occasion and the moods of all parties involved. Don't make the mistake of thinking that just because a person life in facebook's looks more fulfilled than yours that it is actually is. That person has very likely got issues and problems that they'll never mention on facebook.

Call Me Jimmy · 25-06-2013 4:58pm

delthedriver wrote: »

Hi Folks,

Just a whacky thought.!

Would it be a nice idea to have a get together between now and the end of the year.

I don't envisage an event which is going to cost people a fortune either.

I am thinking along an informal get together?

Your thoughts or feedback would be appreciated. If you think I am losing the run of myself , please don't be afraid to say so

Best Regards,

Del

I don't think you are losing the run of yourself, although a date where a sizeable amount of us are in a good enough mood for it may be hard to pin down.

Thanks everyone for the support I have received.

Wattle · 25-06-2013 5:02pm

delthedriver wrote: »

Hi Folks,

Just a whacky thought.!

Would it be a nice idea to have a get together between now and the end of the year.

I don't envisage an event which is going to cost people a fortune either.

I am thinking along an informal get together?

Your thoughts or feedback would be appreciated. If you think I am losing the run of myself , please don't be afraid to say so

Best Regards,

Del

A gathering of neurotics Del? I'm presuming it would be in Dublin? Not sure if I'll be around but you should give it a try.

pinkstars · 25-06-2013 5:12pm

Jernal wrote: »

Regarding facebook..:D
Facebook is like photographs for special occasions. Everyone put up their best face and posture for them but it's usually very fake and shallow representation of the occasion and the moods of all parties involved. Don't make the mistake of thinking that just because a person life in facebook's looks more fulfilled than yours that it is actually is. That person has very likely got issues and problems that they'll never mention on facebook.

I would so love to..........and want to!............post this as my Facebook Status!

Is it copyrighted?

Am I finally losing it lol

pinkstars · 25-06-2013 5:13pm

And I would love a get together, would be cool but I don't drink since I have been unwell.....

delthedriver · 25-06-2013 5:14pm

I guess Dublin area on the basis it is the national hub in terms of transport links.

People don't necessarily have to be in top form to attend, just be themselves.

Meeting fellow sufferers face to face may help further exchanges on this topic , indeed friendships may develop, whereby people in the future may not feel so alone.

Travelling through this world with depression everyone needs a buddy , who is there for you and understands your battle.:)

delthedriver · 25-06-2013 5:22pm

Delighted to see responses already.

Btw, I don't drink either. Certainly anyone on medication should not be drinking,
it only confuses the brain.!

What I have in mind is something like an informal light supper, bar facilities , if anyone plays a guitar maybe a sing song...........

Hey it is not my party............ All suggestions welcome!

delthedriver · 25-06-2013 5:36pm

Let us see this event as a group of soldiers having a get together to prove to ourselves that we are not beaten by this war called Depression.
We will celebrate together , exchange stories , help each other, have a sing song, and prove that we don't give a toss what people think outside our circle? Perhaps we could see this depression as an opportunity for a group of friends meeting who ironically would never have met otherwise?

Perhaps I am losing the run of myself? Ideas?

Call Me Jimmy · 25-06-2013 5:48pm

I like the idea myself. I've been trying to get myself to do stuff (like today with the acting etc) but always pull out. Do need to meet new people though and knowing the kind of people that are regular on this thread I would be more comfortable.

starling · 25-06-2013 5:54pm

Ah sure why not? I propose we call it a meeting of the Society of Miserable Cúnts :pac:

murria · 25-06-2013 6:05pm

delthedriver wrote: »

Hi Folks,

Just a whacky thought.!

Would it be a nice idea to have a get together between now and the end of the year.

I don't envisage an event which is going to cost people a fortune either.

I am thinking along an informal get together?

Your thoughts or feedback would be appreciated. If you think I am losing the run of myself , please don't be afraid to say so

Best Regards,

Del

That's an excellent idea. I don't suffer from depression but I follow this thread every day. I started reading it when I was worried about someone in my life and I became hooked. I love the way you all look out for each other and I despair when I see you beating yourselves up. You are such a lovely bunch of caring people, you all get along so well on here so why would it be different in the flesh.

Get out there and share the goodness. Well done Del.

TheBellJar · 25-06-2013 7:54pm

Deleted User wrote: »

€70 an hour for counselling is outrageous! :eek:

70-80 p/h is pretty standard tbh, especially if you go about it properly and see a proper counselling psychologist as opposed to some eejit who decides to call themselves a counsellor after a 6month course.

Ruudi_Mentari · 25-06-2013 8:04pm

Fcuking.. step-fathers and weak mothers. And the only person who bore the brunt, the cheating dad's jr. everyone is united in alienating if just to stay onside. At least that's what it feels like for me and no cohesion in this family, let me never make the same mistakes if I ever dare go there man... never, again and I have to count down the clock now. Probably wait; for people to pass so I can be truly free of it and it's the saddest thing, it really is. They can't even give a straight opinion, just wind up attempts if there was any humour here it might be funny but it's just attempts to further estrange and it sucks. Dolenz was right man and I regret coming back here all those years ago n I bitterly envied my friends, n **** for coming from such flawless families and failing to recognize it... but this, will blow over again

Message to self: give up; wanting to interact with these fcuking write-offs.

25-06-2013 8:46pm

TheBellJar wrote: »

70-80 p/h is pretty standard tbh, especially if you go about it properly and see a proper counselling psychologist as opposed to some eejit who decides to call themselves a counsellor after a 6month course.

Even if it's standard it's still a shocking amount of money to have to pay for something that may be needed to save someone's life.

Debt can exacerbate depression - how is someone in debt supposed to cope with paying that much?

I'm really gonna miss the NHS when I get back home.

Say Your Number · 25-06-2013 10:53pm

http://getyourrockout.co.uk/wp/about/getyourrockout-blog/dom-lawson/

From the fourth paragraph on is pretty relevant to this thread

Cliona99 · 25-06-2013 11:39pm

Say Your Number wrote: »

http://getyourrockout.co.uk/wp/about/getyourrockout-blog/dom-lawson/

From the fourth paragraph on is pretty relevant to this thread

Some bits of that were like he read my mind. I'm always surprised when other depressed people feel the same way I do. I'm up for this informal, coffee-fueled meeting of neurotics. I think it'd be scary but fun.

At the moment, I'm coming out of my latest 'episode' (or whatever you want to call it), and feeling very fragile. I'm afraid of falling back into the pit, not realising it until it's too late and not having the strength to pull myself out again. Some huge changes are about to happen in my life and I'm hoping I've recovered enough in the last few months to cope with them without falling to pieces.

To anyone reading this thread and thinking they might be depressed, GET HELP. Go to your doctor, your friends, or your family and tell them you're feeling depressed and need help. It might save your life.

delthedriver · 26-06-2013 12:17am

Cliona99 wrote: »

Some bits of that were like he read my mind. I'm always surprised when other depressed people feel the same way I do. I'm up for this informal, coffee-fueled meeting of neurotics. I think it'd be scary but fun.

At the moment, I'm coming out of my latest 'episode' (or whatever you want to call it), and feeling very fragile. I'm afraid of falling back into the pit, not realising it until it's too late and not having the strength to pull myself out again. Some huge changes are about to happen in my life and I'm hoping I've recovered enough in the last few months to cope with them without falling to pieces.

To anyone reading this thread and thinking they might be depressed, GET HELP. Go to your doctor, your friends, or your family and tell them you're feeling depressed and need help. It might save your life.

Cliona,

Delighted to hear you are up for the coffee fuelled meeting of neurotics, it will be fun.
you have made wonderful progress over the last few months, you are not going back. You are stronger and wiser having emerged from your experience and encouraged others by sharing your experiences, for which I thank you sincerely.
The new Cliona is now ready to deal with whatever faces you in your life, never forget that you have friends here who wish the very best for you and will give you the moral support as you deal with each issue.

Enjoy life!

Del

Weevil · 26-06-2013 2:12am

Is this the Narcissism thread?

Mod

Banned.

hollster2 · 26-06-2013 8:05am

Feel horrible today, its court case for my kids dad to get a protection order I cant believe thats it for us as a family.

I dont know what to do im 29 with 3 kids lm so afraid of being by myself. I feel so low today I feel like im in a daze I cant concentrate.

delthedriver · 26-06-2013 8:55am

hollster2 wrote: »

Feel horrible today, its court case for my kids dad to get a protection order I cant believe thats it for us as a family.

I dont know what to do im 29 with 3 kids lm so afraid of being by myself. I feel so low today I feel like im in a daze I cant concentrate.

Please take it easy. Take one step at a time. Today will be very difficult, however it will bring closure to the issues gone before and allow everyone a new start.
We all need to review and redirect our efforts at various stages in our lives.
Chin up Hollster, we will be thinking about you today. Remember you are not alone, we are always here for you on this thread:)

hollster2 · 26-06-2013 9:20am

delthedriver wrote: »

Please take it easy. Take one step at a time. Today will be very difficult, however it will bring closure to the issues gone before and allow everyone a new start.
We all need to review and redirect our efforts at various stages in our lives.
Chin up Hollster, we will be thinking about you today. Remember you are not alone, we are always here for you on this thread:)

Thank you so much god that made me cry

chin up x

delthedriver · 26-06-2013 9:35am

hollster2 wrote: »

Thank you so much god that made me cry chin up x

You are very welcome .
It is good to cry, it is like releasing the pressure valve inside us. Be strong .
In a few hours al the technical stuff will be dealt with and you will be able to think more clearly.
Today you are starting to rebuild the rest of your life:)
There is nothing to be afraid of. Try some deep breathing to help you relax.:)

Ruudi_Mentari · 26-06-2013 9:43am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3D1md28HUms

L.Jenkins · 26-06-2013 9:47am

Got my medication. I feel normal again, if I even know what that means :P

RossFixxxed · 26-06-2013 10:38am

A meet up is a great idea. It's actually a real eye opener to meet others and see that they aren't damaged goods. You meet people of all types, backgrounds, current situations. It's a great thing and it does shatter some of the 'I'm completely different and alone' illusion in your mind!

starling · 26-06-2013 11:47am

^^^^Agreed, isolation is a real problem with depression. Plus, when it's a larger group it takes a bit of pressure off. If you are going to meet one or two friends and then you can't make it you feel bad about "flaking" on them, even if they understand. With a large group you know that if you can't make it you're not ruining other peoples whole night.

Having a terrible day. The pain is 9/10 with occasional moments of 10/10. I don't know why. I just had a terrible flare up that lasted a solid week. I have things to do and if this lasts another week I'm going to be so pissed off. It's another hour and a half before I can have any more pills and I'm literally just lying here cursing.
It took me ten minutes just to get to the kitchen this morning and I had to literally crawl back up the stairs on my hands and knees. The worst thing is I know when you are having a flare up you need to walk around a bit but all I want to do is lie down. I'm not usually like this but today I'm just a big bag of self-pity and now I feel guilty about it:(

Ruudi_Mentari · 26-06-2013 12:26pm

The moustachioed man :{

how many here have a stepfather they can't rlly relate to. He's alright, but he doesn't say much and it is frustrating to say the least. And he needs to fcuk off out the kitchen

delthedriver · 26-06-2013 2:11pm

starling wrote: »

^^^^Agreed, isolation is a real problem with depression. Plus, when it's a larger group it takes a bit of pressure off. If you are going to meet one or two friends and then you can't make it you feel bad about "flaking" on them, even if they understand. With a large group you know that if you can't make it you're not ruining other peoples whole night.

Having a terrible day. The pain is 9/10 with occasional moments of 10/10. I don't know why. I just had a terrible flare up that lasted a solid week. I have things to do and if this lasts another week I'm going to be so pissed off. It's another hour and a half before I can have any more pills and I'm literally just lying here cursing.
It took me ten minutes just to get to the kitchen this morning and I had to literally crawl back up the stairs on my hands and knees. The worst thing is I know when you are having a flare up you need to walk around a bit but all I want to do is lie down. I'm not usually like this but today I'm just a big bag of self-pity and now I feel guilty about it:(

Delighted you are interested in meeting up. A group of strangers with something in common . Why not? It can only be good for everyone!

Please don't beat yourself up about feeling pity or guilt. Be kind to yourself , go with the flow, when you are feeling better you can catch up on whatever errands may bother you. It is your body and mind, take very good care of them, because you are worth it!

Best wishes,

Del:)

Drumpot · 26-06-2013 2:30pm

hollster2 wrote: »

Feel horrible today, its court case for my kids dad to get a protection order I cant believe thats it for us as a family.

I dont know what to do im 29 with 3 kids lm so afraid of being by myself. I feel so low today I feel like im in a daze I cant concentrate.

I know this probably doesn't make you feel any better whatsoever but the night is darkest just before the dawn. Whatever it is that has happened in the past that has led you to today is not as important as how you respond and make the changes required to try to pick yourself up.

I cant say how you feel, why you feel a certain way, but what I can tell you is that from my experience, taking each day at a time has helped me get to a place in my life that I couldn't of imagined. It infects all other areas of my life. Instead of focusing on the things outside of my control (family, friends, job) I have instead focused on the things in me that I needed to work on. Ultimately this has helped shape and change (for the better) my perception of life.

What has happened in the past may or may not be something you can make up or change, but either way the one thing you can try to work on is how your life progresses going forward. If you are anything like me, this can indirectly repair relationships and things in your life that I thought were impossible to fix.

I don't want to put words in your mouth but today could be a new beginning if you can get by all the things that have happened in the past. I have been speaking with people struggling in different areas of their lives, particularly people who have zero confidence (and self esteem) or belief in themselves that they can change. The simple thing I say is that they are changing whether they realise it or not. Talking with people, writing how you feel down here, is a part of a change that could lead to something wonderful in your life. In one post here you were distraught, the next post you were crying with some sense of relief (however little it was or how long it lasted is irrelevant).

I am trying more and more to think about and accept that what happened in the past is not necessarily what will happen in the future, which helps me try to look forward with optimism. I try to couple this with trying to take each day at a time. For now, that's enough to help me feel like the entire world isn't against me. I don't feel like my entire life has already been mapped out , destined to be one major disappointment/disaster after another.

Good luck today, I really hope it helps you find a pathway to a more meaningful life .

delthedriver · 26-06-2013 3:20pm

Hi folks!

Thank you for the many positive responses regarding a get together.

I wonder can we sweet talk Devore to attend? After all it was his ingenious idea to start this thread which ultimately is bringing us together?

How about late September as a possible date for our diaries.? At that stage the holidays are over and children are well and truly back at school. The evenings are still fairly bright for those travelling distances.

Forgive me, I don't wish to appear like I am pushing this idea for my benefit. Obviously I am anxious to meet everyone and network with my friends from this thread. If anyone has any suggestions regarding a venue , please feel free to comment. It doesn't need to be the Four Seasons in Ballsbridge. Perhaps a bar /restaurant, football club, wherever ? It is not my party!

Personally what I would like to do is connect with friends from this thread for whom I may be able to offer advice support and vice versa. Perhaps even meeting for an occasional cuppa or even having the odd chat on the telephone.

The isolation caused by depression can be quite debilitating, sometimes it is easier to cope if one can simply lift the phone and have a chat with a friend who actually understands!

So ladies and gentlemen, get the thinking caps on and see how ,we ,together
can develop this idea further. As I am not Dublin based we will need one or two volunteers to check out a suitable venue, costs per head etc. Nothing lavish! The great company on the night will be the highlight.

If anyone feels they would like to PM me on this you are very welcome

Regards,

Del

starling · 26-06-2013 3:50pm

delthedriver wrote: »

Delighted you are interested in meeting up. A group of strangers with something in common . Why not? It can only be good for everyone!

Please don't beat yourself up about feeling pity or guilt. Be kind to yourself , go with the flow, when you are feeling better you can catch up on whatever errands may bother you. It is your body and mind, take very good care of them, because you are worth it!

Best wishes,

Del:)

Thanks del that does make me feel better. It's just a bad day it's not always like this, I will probably feel better tomorrow:)

SharpshooterTom · 26-06-2013 11:02pm

Hi all (sorry for an awfully long post, bare with me!),

I have all of a sudden out of the blue been discharged from therapy for depression. I have been in therapy for about a year now.

Some people on the forum might remember me going through a crisis moment last year, I had started threads in the PI section and found a bit comfort here in this thread and became one the top posters here for a while.

I was suicidal for large periods last summer and many of those days were some of the hardest days I've ever had to go through, didn't think I was going to get through it.

I currently suffer from Social phobia/anxiety. And I have done since I was 13. Because of which I've never had any friends since, and never had a girlfriend or anything close to that. Nothing. I'm now nearly 27.

I considered suicide so many times over it, the fact whether I wanted to live in loneliness like this for the rest of my life.

My academic studies also suffered over the past 10 years, constantly scraping exams, just couldn't get motivated. I eventually scrapped a 2.2 in electrical engineering and pursued to do a masters, mainly because I had nothing else to do and didn't want to work as I thought the world disliked me and feared the social interactions (thats how irrational I was).

During my exam period with all my thoughts going on, I ended up thinking I had a failed some of the exams and it became the tipping point of failure that I attempted suicide (which failed cause I kinda sucked at it luckily).

That was april 2012 last year, I for the first time had counselling at my uni in may, came on here in june and opened up about my problems. I saw a gp, diagnosed with severe depression, and was off to have cognetive therapy that july.

I had a bit of a renaissance during that summer, I had decided I wanted to have a career change and build new foundations on my life on a career which I could enjoy.

So believe it or not, I picked Dentistry, good pay, potential secure job, and I figured I wanted to help people for a living. A job doesn't define my life, but I desperately wanted a career change as I was going nowhere with my previous choice.

For this however I had to redo my a levels from scratch, and require 2A*'s & 2A's minimum (I live in Northern Ireland looking to apply to trinity).

I've become an extremely motivated guy since last summer, looking to constantly improve on social interactions, and work harder at things I've done wrong. Believe it or not, so far academically I am achieving 4A's during my AS's (Maths, Physics, Biology and Chemistry). On top of which if that was enough I finished off my remaining 3 exams for my masters and scored 61, 71 and 65, bringing my average up to 60, and thus I have graduated with a 2:1 (commedation) in my masters.

However I have been consumed with my studies its nearly burned me out this year. I was diagnosed with shingles as well in april crippling me during that time.

Because of my commitments, I was only having therapy once a month from march onwards, and didn't have any for nearly 2 months because of my shingles.

I had absolutely no social life before hand and it hasn't really picked up because of my academic commitments, and so because I wasn't getting enough opportunities to practice my social skills, and being consumed relentlessly with study we could only have one therapy session a month.

Today, fifteen minutes from the end (just out of the blue) my therapist decided she was going to discharge me on the grounds that she was satisfied with my progress but cannot make social interactions happen for me and because of which there was no point having any therapy.

Honestly, as strange as it sounds I have no idea how to "create opportunities". Jobs, although I'm applying, are hard to come by, volunteering takes time organise, and doing some sporting activities (e.g. tennis lessons) can only really offer only a little. She also struggled to know what could be done to create social opportunities and said she couldn't help me on that and that we've hit a "brick wall" on that issue. Anyway I was discharged, boom like that.

SharpshooterTom · 26-06-2013 11:03pm

The problem is I'm home with my parents over the summer months now, couped up in the house and not sure what to do, lonely, and by time I sort anything out, I'm back at college early september, studying relentlessly to get A*'s.

I'm concious about making the first post too long so I've split it up a bit. I'm just so lonely right now feel a little hopeless again. Utterly dejected and feel a little directionless after just being tossed out like that from therapy. Perhaps I'm over reacting and she probably was doing the right thing naturally. But I am stuck at home worry the same problems might exacerbate again. I'm nearly 27 now, I'm not getting any younger..

delthedriver · 26-06-2013 11:13pm

starling wrote: »

Thanks del that does make me feel better. It's just a bad day it's not always like this, I will probably feel better tomorrow:)

No problem. You are most welcome.
The bad moments always pass, as sure as the sun will rise again tomorrow.
Get plenty of rest:)

delthedriver · 26-06-2013 11:32pm

ThomasFlynn wrote: »

The problem is I'm home with my parents over the summer months now, couped up in the house and not sure what to do, lonely, and by time I sort anything out, I'm back at college early september, studying relentlessly to get A*'s.

I'm concious about making the first post too long so I've split it up a bit. I'm just so lonely right now feel a little hopeless again. Utterly dejected and feel a little directionless after just being tossed out like that from therapy. Perhaps I'm over reacting and she probably was doing the right thing naturally. But I am stuck at home worry the same problems might exacerbate again. I'm nearly 27 now, I'm not getting any younger..

Hi Thomas,
I guess your therapist is confident that you are ready to paddle on your own.
May I suggest volunteering in a local charity shop, which would firstly get you out of the house every day and bring some focus to your life. It would also be a nice way of giving something back to people whose lives are much less fortunate than ours.
Alternatively is it possible to get yourself some type of part time or temporary job, again bringing a bit of focus to your days and also making some money to treat yourself before returning to college.
In addition either scenarios would introduce you to some new people,with whom you may interact and develop your social skills.
You are obviously a very bright person intellectually, however you have lost some of your self confidence.
Take small steps first , start making new friends through a work environment as suggested above. By meeting new people it may be possible to go out the odd evening with your work mates to a sporting event, a meal out. Once you get your confidence back , your self esteem will improve immensely.
From a fitness point of view are there any walking or cycling clubs in your area?
Cycling walking and jogging are a great way to improve one's fitness, but also a great way to make new friends.
Give yourself a chance, get out there and enjoy life.
Best wishes
Del:)

Drumpot · 26-06-2013 11:58pm

ThomasFlynn wrote: »

The problem is I'm home with my parents over the summer months now, couped up in the house and not sure what to do, lonely, and by time I sort anything out, I'm back at college early september, studying relentlessly to get A*'s.

I'm concious about making the first post too long so I've split it up a bit. I'm just so lonely right now feel a little hopeless again. Utterly dejected and feel a little directionless after just being tossed out like that from therapy. Perhaps I'm over reacting and she probably was doing the right thing naturally. But I am stuck at home worry the same problems might exacerbate again. I'm nearly 27 now, I'm not getting any younger..

Hi Thomas, welcome back.

I'm gonna keep this short cause I'm writing this on my ipad and it gives me carpel tunnel syndrome using it too much (yes I'm in my mid thirties And have the wrists of a 90 year old!).

I only ever try to write about my own experience and hope that in some way somebody can use it in their own life in their own way. I will skip through my depression stories straight to how I am trying to learn social skills and enjoy life more.

Do you know what I dreamt of when I was younger ? Being a footballer professionally. I play 5 aside every week. I dreamt of being in movies , I am a member of movies extra and might get roles on tv. I also would of loved to be a lead singer of a band (was for a brief time) and I have decided if the extra thing isn't as I hoped I might explore it again.

My point is that we all have to live in the real world and get a job and study for exams. But it doesn't mean we can't live our dreams in some form. A little bit of what I always dreamed of when I was younger is infinitely better then nothing but the monotonous slog of working class 9-5 life!

In short, I am at my most confident when I am happy or enjoying myself so it makes sense for me to try and be in these kind of social situations.

hollster2 · 27-06-2013 12:15am

Hi all today went great was anxious about nothing thanks again for your good luck messages.

Hope I get some sleep tonight!

Ruudi_Mentari · 27-06-2013 3:51am

hollster2 wrote: »

Hi all today went great was anxious about nothing thanks again for your good luck messages.

Hope I get some sleep tonight!

Yeah, I think so too

have to lift myself out of this malaise.

Ooh; can ya feel it comin - transition express.

LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

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