Has a guy ever approached you on the street?

ragnarl · 26-06-2014 4:35pm #1

I see guys doing this sometimes, it's so cringeworthy!!

26-06-2014 4:39pm

Approached how? Asking you out?
I don't see how that's cringeworthy.

Princess Peach · 26-06-2014 5:28pm

The only time I can remember a sober guy approaching me was a few years ago, mid evening. He asked for directions to a good pub nearby, and after I gave them he asked if I'd like to join him.

Looking back it really seems fine and a good idea on his part, I am so socially awkward it would never work for me though :pac:

Jenneke87 · 27-06-2014 12:40pm

Why would that be " cringeworthy" Considering the potential abuse and rejection that could come your way, I think it takes quite a bit of courage to do that!

ragnarl · 27-06-2014 1:04pm

Its cringeworthy because Ive actually seen it happen and here is how it works. Ugly/average looking guy approaches hot girl on the street. she looks like she is creeped out and keeps going. you girls might be thinking that it would be great to be approached by a guy on the street, as long as he's good looking.

K_P · 27-06-2014 1:08pm

It happened me once and I was honestly hugely flattered by it. As I was engaged at the time I had to politely decline. Told the fiance and his first reaction? "That's mad, did you notice any hidden cameras around?" :rolleyes:

Malari · 27-06-2014 1:36pm

ragnarl wrote: »

Its cringeworthy because Ive actually seen it happen and here is how it works. Ugly/average looking guy approaches hot girl on the street. she looks like she is creeped out and keeps going. you girls might be thinking that it would be great to be approached by a guy on the street, as long as he's good looking.

I think it might be cringeworthy for you looking on because you feel bad for the guy, but if a guy on the street asks you out and you are not attracted to him it's automatically creepy!

username123 · 27-06-2014 1:39pm

I don't get what's cringeworthy about it? It's no different than being approached by a guy in any other situation!

I've been approached on the street, in the supermarket, in a book shop, on a beach etc... Mostly not in Ireland, our cultural norms seem to dictate approach is only good in situations of non sobriety.

Snake · 27-06-2014 1:43pm

"Ugh I hate being single"
"Ew some guy asked me out today"

So he has to be a sexy bastard to go have a coffee with him... My girlfriend had no interest in me when we met.. Now we're engaged and having a baby.. Get to know someone, Jesus looks aren't everything.. It's not cringeworthy it's.. Wait for it... HOW REAL CONVERSATIONS HAPPEN

ragnarl · 27-06-2014 1:48pm

Malari wrote: »

I think it might be cringeworthy for you looking on because you feel bad for the guy, but if a guy on the street asks you out and you are not attracted to him it's automatically creepy!

Good point. If the girl is attracted to the guy, its not cringeworthy and she will contribute to the conversation and give her number. the ones I've seen, the girl was not attracted to the guy which equals a creepy and cringeworthy interaction from the girl.

moral of the story, if you're approaching women, don't try to punch above your league. especially on street approaches

Snake · 27-06-2014 1:49pm

ragnarl wrote: »

Good point. If the girl is attracted to the guy, its not cringeworthy and she will contribute to the conversation and give her number. the ones I've seen, the girl was not attracted to the guy which equals a creepy and cringeworthy interaction from the girl.

moral of the story, if you're approaching women, don't try to punch above your league. especially on street approaches

So you should approach someone who you don't find attractive? Because that's obviously far less creepy.

username123 · 27-06-2014 1:51pm

ragnarl wrote: »

Good point. If the girl is attracted to the guy, its not cringeworthy and she will contribute to the conversation and give her number. the ones I've seen, the girl was not attracted to the guy which equals a creepy and cringeworthy interaction from the girl.

moral of the story, if you're approaching women, don't try to punch above your league. especially on street approaches

Only very shallow people consider there to be "leagues" of attractiveness when it comes to relationships. It might surprise you to learn that some women are not that obsessed with the looks of men they date, they prefer personality.

ragnarl · 27-06-2014 1:59pm

username123 wrote: »

Only very shallow people consider there to be "leagues" of attractiveness when it comes to relationships. It might surprise you to learn that some women are not that obsessed with the looks of men they date, they prefer personality.

I'd love to live in a utopian world like this, where I could regularly have girlfriends that look like Georgia Salpa and Rosanna Davison. All I need is a good personality right? No matter what i look like?

jaja321 · 27-06-2014 2:07pm

Happened to me once, a few years back when I was living in the U.S. I was a bit taken aback, but very flattered. Only for I was going out with someone at the time I would have gone on a date with him! It takes courage to do it, and is a nice change from drunken chat ups.

Addle · 27-06-2014 2:16pm

I bet the OP wouldn't find it cringeworthy if they were the one being approached rather than just watching other people have the opportunity for romance!

Jenneke87 · 27-06-2014 2:31pm

ragnarl wrote: »

I'd love to live in a utopian world like this, where I could regularly have girlfriends that look like Georgia Salpa and Rosanna Davison. All I need is a good personality right? No matter what i look like?

Frustrated with a lack of succes it sounds like?

username123 · 27-06-2014 3:34pm

ragnarl wrote: »

I'd love to live in a utopian world like this, where I could regularly have girlfriends that look like Georgia Salpa and Rosanna Davison. All I need is a good personality right? No matter what i look like?

Have you considered how you come across to others? Its clear from your posts.

shopaholic01 · 27-06-2014 3:52pm

username123 wrote: »

Have you considered how you come across to others? Its clear from your posts.

This, some men approach women in an aggressive manner and assume they're going to be knocked back. I'd take funny over looks any day. Being able to hold a conversation and laugh with someone beats just admiring a view, however pleasing it is.

I've never been approached on the street, it's not common here, so I think my initial reaction would be shock.

shalalala · 27-06-2014 4:20pm

I got it once by a guy on the bus and once by a customer just browsing in the shop I worked in

Penny Tration · 27-06-2014 4:30pm

Happened once, I ended up dating him for a little over a year, and we're still great friends a few years on

paulcummins · 27-06-2014 5:11pm

It's very naive to say looks don't matter. If a girl is not physically attracted to a guy then hes just going to come across creepy if he starts chatting her up on the street, no matter how great his personality is.

meeeeh · 27-06-2014 5:43pm

So this is another thread for single bitter men to complain what stuck up bitches women are. It's a bit old.

I am not a "first sight" person so I would usually refuse people regardless of the looks. But anybody who knows me could vouch that typical good looks are definitely not important to me.

AulBiddy · 27-06-2014 6:04pm

Never been approached but I think it would be awfully rude to just ignore someone and keep walking! If you don't like them all you have to say is "No thank you" politely, or if you really have to, say you have a boyfriend. It's very brave of someone to ask a stranger out! I couldn't imagine doing it myself.

paulcummins · 27-06-2014 6:19pm

meeeeh wrote: »

So this is another thread for single bitter men to complain what stuck up bitches women are. It's a bit old.

I am not a "first sight" person so I would usually refuse people regardless of the looks. But anybody who knows me could vouch that typical good looks are definitely not important to me.

Im certainly not complaining about anything, just stating what i think applies in the majority of cases. If a woman is not physically attracted to a guy then he is going to come across pretty creepy if he stops her on the street and tells her he likes her. I think im being pro-female when i say this actually because I wouldn't want to hook up with a girl I don't find physically attractive either. Common sense really? I mean, can anyone here say that this guy could get phone numbers from models if he approached some in o connell street?

i1.ytimg.com/vi/BBxQJPOusR0/hqdefault.jpg

Shakespeare's Sister · 27-06-2014 7:16pm

ragnarl wrote: »

I see guys doing this sometimes, it's so cringeworthy!!

Why is it cringeworthy?

ragnarl wrote: »

Its cringeworthy because Ive actually seen it happen and here is how it works. Ugly/average looking guy approaches hot girl on the street. she looks like she is creeped out and keeps going. you girls might be thinking that it would be great to be approached by a guy on the street, as long as he's good looking.

Ah... THAT's where you were going. Why not just say it in your first post?

paulcummins wrote: »

It's very naive to say looks don't matter.

But it's a blatant lie to say a woman will only be interested in a guy who's absolutely gorgeous too though. Most people are average-looking and most people end up with someone.

metaoblivia · 28-06-2014 1:35am

This doesn't happen every day where I live, but it happens probably with more frequency over here (the US) than in Ireland. If a girl isn't attracted to the guy doing a cold approach, that doesn't necessarily make it creepy or cringeworthy. I've been approached by guys that I really had no interest in exchanging info with and it never crossed my mind to think of them as creepy. Likewise, I've been approached by some attractive guys who did end up coming across as creepy. Creepiness does not always correlate to attractiveness (or the lack thereof). It's much more about the behavior and the approach.

That said, I admire a guy who will bite the bullet and cold approach a woman politely. It takes balls. That doesn't necessarily mean I feel compelled to say yes every time, but I do appreciate it and if I turn them down, I do it as nicely as possible.

And yes, looks do matter in so much as chemistry matters. Why is the guy approaching a woman he doesn't know in the first place - because he finds her attractive. But he - and anyone who makes a cold approach on someone else like that - needs to be prepared for the possibility that she may not find him attractive, and that doesn't make her any more shallow than him. That's just life.

beks101 · 28-06-2014 5:52am

I certainly wouldn't consider a guy "creepy" if he cold-approached me and I didn't find him attractive. I'd consider it a compliment, say thanks but no thanks.

When I lived in Canada I was most commonly approached by men I didn't find particularly attractive - some men as old as my father, foreign men who barely had two words of English, players on the prowl etc - and in pretty much all cases it served to simply put a smile on my face, I'd politely make my excuses and get on with my day. The only time it was 'creepy' was when the guy invaded my personal space, or wouldn't take no for an answer, or approached me with an air of expectation or entitlement, or stared down my top, or made some innuendo etc....i.e obviously creepy behaviour.

Tbh I think there's a vicious circle of misconceptions and inaccuracies and blatant myths about women that a lot of men tell themselves to avoid having to put themselves in the line of fire so to speak. Especially in Ireland.

Honestly, when I came home from Canada the number one thing I had to adjust to was the lack of approach, or eye contact, or engagement or interaction that strangers will have with each other on the street. How chance encounters with strangers on the street or in the subway station or library or supermarket etc were no longer a feasible option for meeting potential dates - it's really just not a thing in Ireland.

Equally going over there, walking down Bloor street in Toronto my initial impression was "why is everyone staring at me??" - and they weren't especially - I just got used to the way that in Ireland we seem to incessantly avoid signalling interest or curiosity or admiration for another unless we're ten shades of sh1tfaced and about as smooth and as charming as a smack in the face. Maybe it's the one-degree-of-separation thing, but we have an inherent fear of rejection or of embarrassing each other when it comes to this stuff IME.

cruais · 28-06-2014 6:31am

Kind of.

Was stopped in traffic and a car pulled up beside me. It was an african guy who said

"Damn, you have such a pretty face! You a hot sister".

I started laughing, considering I had just finished a 12 hour shift.

"Take my number. Ill treat you good."

Taxi driver on the other side of my car got involved.

I wound down my passenger window. He said,

"Thats made your day love".

The african guy shouts over to the taxi driver.

"She's my hot sister!"

Lights went green. I drove on with the african guy speeding up past me to give me a beep and a wave.

It actually did make my day.

Wompa1 · 28-06-2014 7:23am

Living in the US. From what I've seen and heard, guys approaching women completely sober in the middle of the day on the street, bus, book store or whatever is very common.

Also the looks thing, not sure I'd fully subscribe to that whole league concept.

vitani · 28-06-2014 8:11am

It happened once to me in Cardiff when I was there for a couple of days - I was flattered rather than anything else.

Over here, it's never happened. Although I did have someone come over to me in Costa a little while ago and ask if he could join me. Turned out he was trying to get me to join some pyramid scheme.

Legs.Eleven · 28-06-2014 11:00am

Happened the other week, in fact! Funny story. The guy approached me on his bike and stopped and asked me where the local so and so yoga centre was. I told him I didn't know and sorry and walked on (I was polite!). He cycles up to me again and says, "It's just that you walk like you do yoga. I'm not trying to annoy you I just want to find the centre". At this stage I smiled and said, "I genuinely have no idea where the centre is. You're better off finding someone who DOES know".

The thing is, this same guy has approached me twice in Madrid in different neighbourhoods and the last time was about 2 years ago somewhere else and we had the very same conversation.

When he once again insisted he wasn't trying to annoy me, I got a bit irritated because he continued to follow me on his bike and I told he'd already stopped me previously two different times in different places asking me the very same thing and that he was probably better off printing a list of yoga centres with directions at this stage if he was having such a problem finidng them. I was nice about it but the guy wouldn't leave me alone. After saying this, he realised he'd been snared and left. This is obviously his "thing". He was a good looking guy and I wonder how much success he has with this tactic?

nc19 · 28-06-2014 11:02am

ragnarl wrote: »

Its cringeworthy because Ive actually seen it happen and here is how it works. Ugly/average looking guy approaches hot girl on the street. she looks like she is creeped out and keeps going. you girls might be thinking that it would be great to be approached by a guy on the street, as long as he's good looking.

Your definition of a good looking guy is not everyones definition

nc19 · 28-06-2014 11:07am

ragnarl wrote: »

moral of the story, if you're approaching women, don't try to punch above your league. especially on street approaches

People dont necessarily fall into the league you perceive them to be in

nc19 · 28-06-2014 11:08am

ragnarl wrote: »

I'd love to live in a utopian world like this, where I could regularly have girlfriends that look like Georgia Salpa and Rosanna Davison. All I need is a good personality right? No matter what i look like?

If they are you idea of good looking women I feel sorry for you

Teyla Emmagan · 28-06-2014 11:50am

I was coming out of the bank yesterday and there was this dodgy looking guy on the corner. I half kept my eye on him, as you do. And then he looks at me and says 'you have the most beautiful smile'. And of course I then felt like a right sh*t and thanked him very much, before scurrying off in case he came after me.

Legs.Eleven · 28-06-2014 12:20pm

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

I was coming out of the bank yesterday and there was this dodgy looking guy on the corner. I half kept my eye on him, as you do. And then he looks at me and says 'you have the most beautiful smile'. And of course I then felt like a right sh*t and thanked him very much, before scurrying off in case he came after me.

Were you coming out of the bank smiling? I usually come out of banks with a big grumpy head on me.

rannerap · 28-06-2014 12:48pm

I've been approached a few times. Always in Ireland! Nothing ever came of them because I had a boyfriend. But I didn't think it was creepy or that the guys were creepy. It made my day! I though it was very brave and I was really nice about it. The only bad encounters I've had have been in pubs

gozunda · 28-06-2014 1:01pm

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

Happened the other week, in fact! Funny story. The guy approached me on his bike and stopped and asked me where the local so and so yoga centre was. I told him I didn't know and sorry and walked on (I was polite!). He cycles up to me again and says, "It's just that you walk like you do yoga. I'm not trying to annoy you I just want to find the centre". At this stage I smiled and said, "I genuinely have no idea where the centre is. You're better off finding someone who DOES know".

The thing is, this same guy has approached me twice in Madrid in different neighbourhoods and the last time was about 2 years ago somewhere else and we had the very same conversation.

When he once again insisted he wasn't trying to annoy me, I got a bit irritated because he continued to follow me on his bike and I told he'd already stopped me previously two different times in different places asking me the very same thing and that he was probably better off printing a list of yoga centres with directions at this stage if he was having such a problem finidng them. I was nice about it but the guy wouldn't leave me alone. After saying this, he realised he'd been snared and left. This is obviously his "thing". He was a good looking guy and I wonder how much success he has with this tactic?

Funny maybe after the guy goes away however there is also the real danger of violence, abduction or stalking from this type of behaviour.

^^ A person on their own being approached by a stranger with an 'invitation' to go somewhere with someone they do not know is not street smart. Too many women and men disappear both here and abroad to make such approaches a good idea no matter how flattering they may seem.

I travel abroad and have seen this behaviour used to openly lure men and women into dodgy situations. You don't know the person who is approaching and not sure then don't go - simple as.

MissFlitworth · 28-06-2014 3:12pm

It's happened to me a couple of times, unfortunately I am (or at least was) horrendously socially awkward and I don't know what to say to people at the best of times (when I've had plenty of notice that they're going to try to talk to me) so I probably left the normal, potentially could have been nice guys feeling a bit like they'd just encountered Bitchzilla as I rushed away.

Mad one on a tram in Germany once, came up to me to ask me directions to somewhere, hadn't a baldy where the shop he was after was, couple of awkward moments of German chit chat, copped my not-German accent and my lack of fluency and tried follow me down the road home speaking English at me, "Lady, maybe you are more comfortable if we speak in English, Lady..." . So romantic & not one bit creepy!

woodchuck · 28-06-2014 4:04pm

I've had someone randomly chat to me on the bus. It was the same guy on two separate occassions, but he didn't actually ask me out so I wasn't sure what was going on! This was in Ireland, but he wasn't Irish.

I wish this kind of thing happened more often :P I don't think it would come off as creepy at all. Even if you're not attracted to them, how would that make it creepy? So long as their friendly and polite about it and know how to take no as an answer, it would still make my day

eviltwin · 28-06-2014 4:20pm

Never happened to me but it happened to my friend one day, I was with her, guy came up and asked her out and they are married now. I think its the way you do it, it can be creepy if you make it creepy just as going up to someone in a bar can be, if you have the right approach no reason why it shouldn't work.

Zambia · 28-06-2014 4:31pm

The chance of success in such an approach is very low. That said the chance of success is lower if you let them glide off into the sunset.

Crumpets · 28-06-2014 5:33pm

I was approached once when I was sitting on a bench in the park with a cup of soup and a roll. He asked me a few questions (where are you from, are you in college, how's the soup). It was a bit mortifying because I was eating a bread roll and my mouth was full and it was just plain awkward for the both of us.

paulcummins · 29-06-2014 1:17am

Zambia wrote: »

The chance of success in such an approach is very low. That said the chance of success is lower if you let them glide off into the sunset.

The chance of success is too low to warrant a guy doing it I think. Why put yourself through all that rejection? Guys are just expected to approach and take rejection after rejection. Not my cup of tea. I have approached some girls in daytime situations but only when I noticed the girl looking at me a bit too long or smiling at me. Otherwise it's pretty stupid to do from a time vs reward aspect. Plus the rejection does get to guys. You'll never see a woman approaching a guy like that and putting herself through loads of rejections. I don't think guys should either. If a woman wants me to approach her, then give me some kind of signal. I value my time and mental health too much to be running around cold approaching women during the day.

Zambia · 29-06-2014 4:20am

paulcummins wrote: »

The chance of success is too low to warrant a guy doing it I think. Why put yourself through all that rejection? Guys are just expected to approach and take rejection after rejection. Not my cup of tea. I have approached some girls in daytime situations but only when I noticed the girl looking at me a bit too long or smiling at me. Otherwise it's pretty stupid to do from a time vs reward aspect. Plus the rejection does get to guys. You'll never see a woman approaching a guy like that and putting herself through loads of rejections. I don't think guys should either. If a woman wants me to approach her, then give me some kind of signal. I value my time and mental health too much to be running around cold approaching women during the day.

True the chances of a yes are very low 1-5% if any.

However it's like anything if as a guy or girl you see someone that you genuinely feel you want to know better. Well then you pretty much have two options.

Go in cold and see how you get on?

Or stalk them till you see a opportunity to engage in discussion with them? Now that's creepy but by the op less creepy than the cold approach. By that I mean as the girl if a guy talks to you in work not so creepy. If you later find out he followed you to work.....oh dear.

Galwayguy35 · 29-06-2014 5:49am

No way would I go up to someone in the street and ask them out, and not just because of the 99.9% chance of rejection.

I'd approach someone in a pub all right but never in the daytime on the street etc.

Celly Smunt · 29-06-2014 7:22am

With everybody expecting to meet someone in a club, on tinder or whatever these days, it has much more significance to be asked out in the cold light of day and not drunken on your phone. I can see how the sober street approach can be more successful and sincere.

It shows a bit of balls

OldMrBrennan83 · 29-06-2014 8:20am

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29-06-2014 9:06am

Patww79 wrote: »

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Eh ... that's not attractive

Dolbert · 29-06-2014 9:55am

Patww79 wrote: »

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Ugh I know, those shallow harpies, looks are literally all that matter to them. Meanwhile, these women are all being approached because of their cracking personalities, yes?

Legs.Eleven · 29-06-2014 10:11am

Patww79 wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Absolutely pathetic.

Has a guy ever approached you on the street?

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