Ireland Placename jokes

cp_mcg · 07-05-2013 9:57pm #1

I was trying to find a collection of jokes about Irish placenames online but to no avail, so i thought i'd ask ye AHers if you knew of any

Heres a few examples:

Whats the fastest town in Ireland? Tuam

Where are all the ambulances kept? Ne-nagh

DrumSteve · 07-05-2013 9:58pm

I dont get the tuam one...

JustAddWater · 07-05-2013 9:59pm

In before muff!

Potential-Monke · 07-05-2013 9:59pm

Coldest place: Birr

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 07-05-2013 9:59pm

cp_mcg wrote: »

I was trying to find a collection of jokes about Irish placenames online but to no avail, so i thought i'd ask ye AHers if you knew of any

Heres a few examples:

Whats the fastest town in Ireland? Tuam

Where are all the ambulances kept? Ne-nagh

I'd suggest the humor forum, but....

Limerick, Cobh and Muff should all have esy ones.

What does a norhtside woman buy her tampons?

Santry towels...

(**** it, not bad for on the spot, gimme a greak...)

Katunga · 07-05-2013 10:01pm

thought Rush was the fastest town

davetherave · 07-05-2013 10:02pm

DrumSteve wrote: »

I dont get the tuam one...

Could be that if you imagine an F1 car going by you at high speed.
NNNEEEOOOOMMMMMMMMM

Kind of sounds like Tuam?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 07-05-2013 10:02pm

Katunga wrote: »

thought Rush was the fastest town

Bel-fast?

cp_mcg · 07-05-2013 10:02pm

Sorry i should've written that better, Choooom

You're right about the humour forum, mods feel free to move

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 07-05-2013 10:03pm

davetherave wrote: »

Could be that if you imagine an F1 car going by you at high speed.
NNNEEEOOOOMMMMMMMMM

Kind of sounds like Tuam?

where do they bury dead meath people?

Actually ,there;s probably a joke around dead-meath as well...

Katunga · 07-05-2013 10:04pm

best town for curry.
Tobercurry

oldyouth · 07-05-2013 10:04pm

I'm sure there are 100's of jokes About Ballylickey Upper (genuine place) but I can't get my tongue around one at the minute

Steve O · 07-05-2013 10:08pm

Put a cork in it.

Tim the Enchanter · 07-05-2013 10:13pm

Q. Where was love first made?

A. A little thatch cottage near athy!

kneemos · 07-05-2013 10:18pm

How do you get from the left thigh to the right thigh...via Ballsbridge.

For Forks Sake · 07-05-2013 10:19pm

Katunga wrote: »

best town for curry.
Tobercurry

No, that would be the town of Curry itself , about 5 miles away http://goo.gl/maps/K7N4t

HalloweenJack · 07-05-2013 10:20pm

Where's the biggest river in Ireland?

Sixmilebridge.

What county hates the Late Late Show?

Kilkenny.

Trying to think of one with Carlow.

Capt'n Midnight · 07-05-2013 10:20pm

Remember those old SDS ads ?

I've got to get some kettles to Boyle.

And some copiers for Clones and anything for Adare

Can you send then via Horse and Jockey.

crow_eat_crow · 07-05-2013 10:22pm

Where's the best place to buy Viagra?

Stillorgan

beertons · 07-05-2013 10:23pm

Hackballs Cross, dodgey bj place.

December2012 · 07-05-2013 10:25pm

Smelliest place - Tubbercurry

Sickest place - Hospital

Gayest place - Campsie

Dirtiest place - Cloghole

Most eunuchs - hacksballcross

Biggest growing place - Dublin

Best place to chance your arm - Sligo

SeanW · 07-05-2013 10:25pm

Many years ago I head this on the radio, wasn't meant to be a joke, but became one. Don't remember it word for word obviously, just the gist of it.

Radio presenter: And now, final question: name a town in Kildare that contains the name of a body part.
Woman: Kilcock?
...
some funny exchange
...
Radio presenter: No the correct answer was Athy. (thigh)

SeanW · 07-05-2013 10:26pm

December2012 wrote: »

Smelliest place - Tubbercurry

Sickest place - Hospital

Gayest place - Campsie

Dirtiest place - Cloghole

Most eunuchs - hacksballcross

Biggest growing place - Dublin

Best place to chance your arm - Sligo

Worst case of false advertising: Sixmilebridge.

beertons · 07-05-2013 10:28pm

Nobber.

kneemos · 07-05-2013 10:28pm

What do you get after thirteen pints...a Stillorgan

demakinz · 07-05-2013 10:32pm

kneemos wrote: »

What do you get after thirteen pints...a Stillorgan

After Thirteen Guinness Ringaskiddy!

pawrick · 07-05-2013 10:53pm

too much effort so heres some to make something out of

rathass (Tralee)
gaggan (Cork)
Sally Gap
Pass if you can (Passifyoucan townland Dublin)
Lousybush (Kilkenny)

December2012 · 07-05-2013 10:54pm

Most naturists - dingle

Potential-Monke · 07-05-2013 10:55pm

Town with the highest rate of illegitimate children - Bastardstown

Best spots for Ugly Lesbians - Dyke Parade/Dyke Road

Town with the highest rate of voyeurs - Letterfinish

Best place for men with a pain fetish - Strangalowilly

Best place for dogging - Freemount

Town with the smallest bladders - Cannawee

Best place for deepthroating - Gaggin or Inchygaggin

Most racial place - Faggots Hill (damn swear filter blocking a legitimate placename!)

Town with the highest rate of unemployed brazzers - Beggars Bush

Town with highest rate of male masturbation - Strokestown

Best place for a rapist - Rapemills

Town with highest rate of single men - Blue Ball

CrabRevolution · 07-05-2013 10:57pm

How is Monaghan like a pregnant cow?

They're both close to Cyaaaavan.

joebloggs32 · 07-05-2013 11:04pm

Cleanest town in Ireland = Clane

Wealthiest town in Ireland = Prosperous

Mr Tibbs · 07-05-2013 11:07pm

There is a village in Co. Waterford called Kill. Tourists get a great laugh on entering the village the sign reads
Kill Drive Slowly

bacon n eggs · 07-05-2013 11:21pm

You are now entering muff

DazMarz · 07-05-2013 11:26pm

Irish for Stillorgan = Micí Marbh

Duckworth_Luas · 07-05-2013 11:28pm

I was passing through Co Kildare and decided to stop to ask for directions.

"Am I anywhere near Clane?", I asked a young lady.

"No, you're a dirty, smelly bollocks!", she replied.

admiralofthefleet · 07-05-2013 11:32pm

the place with the most honest opinion?

fairview

Potential-Monke · 07-05-2013 11:41pm

Best place for 'Mericans (who hate Latin Americans) to visit - Killinaspick

ArnoldJRimmer · 07-05-2013 11:51pm

Place where you can ride the future king of England?

Mountcharles

KKkitty · 07-05-2013 11:58pm

Do any of ye know a Dickie Bowe from Athy.

Lapin · 08-05-2013 1:50am

Spititual home of Fianna Fáil politicians.

Strokestown.

The Backwards Man · 08-05-2013 1:55am

From the first Gulf War era;

What did the Donegal man say to Saddam Hussein?
Keep Kuwait.

armaghbhoy · 08-05-2013 2:36am

Which is the biggest city in Ireland?

Dublin, because it keeps on doublin and doublin

Cody Pomeray · 08-05-2013 2:38am

Keep em coming
This is Funny Friday Gold.

armaghbhoy · 08-05-2013 2:43am

Is anyone from Effin, Limerick?

Poxyshamrock · 08-05-2013 2:56am

Askeaton if Patrickswell and how does Abbeyfeale

shanered · 08-05-2013 3:09am

Browntown where homosexuals love to visit

larchielads · 08-05-2013 5:18am

he was dew in tullamore but he wouldnt go cos its an offaly long way

blade1 · 08-05-2013 5:36am

SeanW wrote: »

Many years ago I head this on the radio, wasn't meant to be a joke, but became one. Don't remember it word for word obviously, just the gist of it.

Radio presenter: And now, final question: name a town in Kildare that contains the name of a body part.
Woman: Kilcock?
...
some funny exchange
...
Radio presenter: No the correct answer was Athy. (thigh)

Was that a Cork station?
They asked one time, a town that sounds like a slippery surface?
Now, anyone should know it was Ringaskiddy.
Not my brother though.
The muppet dives for the phone, gets through and delighted with himself shouts Askeaton!!!!!
The Fcukin Dope!!

Freddy Smelly · 08-05-2013 7:57am

HalloweenJack wrote: »

Where's the biggest river in Ireland?

Sixmilebridge.

in south tipp there is ninemilehouse.

the heating bills and property tax must be enormous

stoneill · 08-05-2013 2:31pm

Ballyfannybatter. It's in Leitrim somewhere.

seven_eleven · 08-05-2013 3:17pm

Its like I'm in 6th class all over again!

Ireland Placename jokes

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