Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Ireland Placename jokes

Options
  • 07-05-2013 9:57pm
    #1
    cp_mcg
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭


    I was trying to find a collection of jokes about Irish placenames online but to no avail, so i thought i'd ask ye AHers if you knew of any

    Heres a few examples:

    Whats the fastest town in Ireland? Tuam

    Where are all the ambulances kept? Ne-nagh


«1

Comments

  • Options
    #2
    DrumSteve
    Registered Users Posts: 10,799 ✭✭✭✭DrumSteve


    I dont get the tuam one...


  • Options
    #3
    JustAddWater
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,990 ✭✭✭JustAddWater


    In before muff!


  • Options
    #4
    Potential-Monke
    Registered Users Posts: 13,854 ✭✭✭✭Potential-Monke


    Coldest place: Birr


  • Options
    #5
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users Posts: 33,179 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    cp_mcg wrote: »
    I was trying to find a collection of jokes about Irish placenames online but to no avail, so i thought i'd ask ye AHers if you knew of any

    Heres a few examples:

    Whats the fastest town in Ireland? Tuam

    Where are all the ambulances kept? Ne-nagh

    I'd suggest the humor forum, but....

    Limerick, Cobh and Muff should all have esy ones.

    What does a norhtside woman buy her tampons?

    Santry towels...

    (**** it, not bad for on the spot, gimme a greak...)

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • Options
    #6
    Katunga
    Registered Users Posts: 659 ✭✭✭Katunga


    thought Rush was the fastest town


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    davetherave
    Registered Users Posts: 3,362 ✭✭✭davetherave


    DrumSteve wrote: »
    I dont get the tuam one...

    Could be that if you imagine an F1 car going by you at high speed.
    NNNEEEOOOOMMMMMMMMM

    Kind of sounds like Tuam?


  • Options
    #8
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users Posts: 33,179 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    Katunga wrote: »
    thought Rush was the fastest town

    Bel-fast?

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • Options
    #9
    cp_mcg
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭cp_mcg


    Sorry i should've written that better, Choooom

    You're right about the humour forum, mods feel free to move


  • Options
    #10
    Princess Consuela Bananahammock
    Registered Users Posts: 33,179 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    davetherave wrote: »
    Could be that if you imagine an F1 car going by you at high speed.
    NNNEEEOOOOMMMMMMMMM

    Kind of sounds like Tuam?

    where do they bury dead meath people?

    Actually ,there;s probably a joke around dead-meath as well...

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • Options
    #11
    Katunga
    Registered Users Posts: 659 ✭✭✭Katunga


    best town for curry.
    Tobercurry


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #12
    oldyouth
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,754 ✭✭✭oldyouth


    I'm sure there are 100's of jokes About Ballylickey Upper (genuine place) but I can't get my tongue around one at the minute


  • Options
    #13
    Steve O
    Closed Accounts Posts: 595 ✭✭✭Steve O


    Put a cork in it.


  • Options
    #14
    Tim the Enchanter
    Closed Accounts Posts: 309 ✭✭Tim the Enchanter


    Q. Where was love first made?

    A. A little thatch cottage near athy!


  • Options
    #15
    kneemos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,416 ✭✭✭✭kneemos


    How do you get from the left thigh to the right thigh...via Ballsbridge.


  • Options
    #16
    For Forks Sake
    Registered Users Posts: 11,504 ✭✭✭✭For Forks Sake


    Katunga wrote: »
    best town for curry.
    Tobercurry

    No, that would be the town of Curry itself , about 5 miles away http://goo.gl/maps/K7N4t


  • Options
    #17
    HalloweenJack
    Registered Users Posts: 7,087 ✭✭✭HalloweenJack


    Where's the biggest river in Ireland?

    Sixmilebridge.

    What county hates the Late Late Show?

    Kilkenny.

    Trying to think of one with Carlow.


  • Options
    #18
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,958 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Remember those old SDS ads ?

    I've got to get some kettles to Boyle.

    And some copiers for Clones and anything for Adare

    Can you send then via Horse and Jockey.


  • Options
    #19
    crow_eat_crow
    Registered Users Posts: 126 ✭✭crow_eat_crow


    Where's the best place to buy Viagra?



    Stillorgan


  • Options
    #20
    beertons
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 23,071 ✭✭✭✭beertons


    Hackballs Cross, dodgey bj place.


  • Options
    #21
    December2012
    Registered Users Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    Smelliest place - Tubbercurry

    Sickest place - Hospital

    Gayest place - Campsie

    Dirtiest place - Cloghole

    Most eunuchs - hacksballcross

    Biggest growing place - Dublin

    Best place to chance your arm - Sligo


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #22
    SeanW
    Registered Users Posts: 8,784 ✭✭✭SeanW


    Many years ago I head this on the radio, wasn't meant to be a joke, but became one. Don't remember it word for word obviously, just the gist of it.

    Radio presenter: And now, final question: name a town in Kildare that contains the name of a body part.
    Woman: Kilcock?
    ...
    some funny exchange
    ...
    Radio presenter: No the correct answer was Athy. (thigh)


  • Options
    #23
    SeanW
    Registered Users Posts: 8,784 ✭✭✭SeanW


    December2012 wrote: »
    Smelliest place - Tubbercurry

    Sickest place - Hospital

    Gayest place - Campsie

    Dirtiest place - Cloghole

    Most eunuchs - hacksballcross

    Biggest growing place - Dublin

    Best place to chance your arm - Sligo

    Worst case of false advertising: Sixmilebridge.


  • Options
    #24
    beertons
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 23,071 ✭✭✭✭beertons


    Nobber.


  • Options
    #25
    kneemos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,416 ✭✭✭✭kneemos


    What do you get after thirteen pints...a Stillorgan


  • Options
    #26
    demakinz
    Registered Users Posts: 1,047 ✭✭✭demakinz


    kneemos wrote: »
    What do you get after thirteen pints...a Stillorgan

    After Thirteen Guinness Ringaskiddy!


  • Options
    #27
    pawrick
    Registered Users Posts: 1,722 ✭✭✭pawrick


    too much effort so heres some to make something out of

    rathass (Tralee)
    gaggan (Cork)
    Sally Gap
    Pass if you can (Passifyoucan townland Dublin)
    Lousybush (Kilkenny)


  • Options
    #28
    December2012
    Registered Users Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    Most naturists - dingle


  • Options
    #29
    Potential-Monke
    Registered Users Posts: 13,854 ✭✭✭✭Potential-Monke


    Town with the highest rate of illegitimate children - Bastardstown

    Best spots for Ugly Lesbians - Dyke Parade/Dyke Road

    Town with the highest rate of voyeurs - Letterfinish

    Best place for men with a pain fetish - Strangalowilly

    Best place for dogging - Freemount

    Town with the smallest bladders - Cannawee

    Best place for deepthroating - Gaggin or Inchygaggin

    Most racial place - Faggots Hill (damn swear filter blocking a legitimate placename!)

    Town with the highest rate of unemployed brazzers - Beggars Bush

    Town with highest rate of male masturbation - Strokestown

    Best place for a rapist - Rapemills

    Town with highest rate of single men - Blue Ball


  • Options
    #30
    CrabRevolution
    Registered Users Posts: 2,821 ✭✭✭CrabRevolution


    How is Monaghan like a pregnant cow?

    They're both close to Cyaaaavan.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #31
    joebloggs32
    Registered Users Posts: 1,597 ✭✭✭joebloggs32


    Cleanest town in Ireland = Clane

    Wealthiest town in Ireland = Prosperous


Advertisement